Chapter 39 - How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Photo Shoot

Still I'm lying here tonight
Wishing I was by your side
'cause when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life                               

                                                        When I'm with You--Faber Drive

I kept ringing Freddy while waiting outside the hotel lobby. In all twenty or so tries, I got nothing but voicemail prompts. I was also trying to look as inconspicuous as possible but that seemed out of the question as of now.

My hair was dishevelled and still dripping wet. My shirt was buttoned up the wrong way. If I had my sneakers on, it would’ve been an I-just-got-out-from-the-shower look. But considering as I’d lost my shoes to some girl I didn’t know, I had no way to evade total humiliation.

I wriggled my toes inside the soft fuzzy slippers the hotel gave me. Add that to my hung-over look, I looked pretty much like a two-day dead zombie with bunny rabbit feet.

As expected, people stared. And not the good kind, mind you. I was just lucky the paparazzi weren’t morning persons. If not, pictures of me would go viral all over internet in a heartbeat. Maintaining a badass reputation wasn’t the easiest thing to achieve for someone like me.

I wasted the last half an hour bugging the front desk lady to follow up my order from the shoe shop. Turned out, it won’t open early even for the Pope. For the meantime, I was stuck in these fluffy things until Chuck and the guys pick me up. At least the slippers came in blue. In all honesty, they were pretty comfy.

A silver top down Lexus slowed down to a stop in front of me. Ricky was driving while Chuck and Reed were on the backseat.

Chuck threw me a head-to-toe look, staring at my slippers for not less than five seconds before smirking in a way that ticked me.

“What?!” I snapped. “My shoes got stolen.”

“Hop in then, mate!” he said in an Aussie accent.

Without waiting to be told twice, I got in the car with some unmasked grudge. I tossed the portfolio and the mystery girl’s cardigan onto the dashboard. In no time, we hit the road to the morning traffic of Washington Street.

“Get it?” Chuck kept laughing. “Hop in? Because you look exactly like a bunny rabbit—“

Sensing my current lack of humor, Reed gave him a backhand on the chest. He coughed for the next two minutes.

“Very funny,” I muttered, fixing my eyes on the road. “Now which one of you remembered to bring me a pair of undorky shoes?”

“I told Chuck to—“ Reed started to say before Chuck butted in.

“Nuh-uh,” Chuck groaned, scratching the back of his head. “Don’t look at me, dude. I thought you were kidding when you said you’re wearing fluff balls.”

With a sigh, I turned to Ricky. “Please tell me you have my sneakers…”

He rapped his hands on the wheel and gave me a droopy stare.

“Why me?” he groaned. “Is there any law that I should do everything around here?”

I ran a hand through my hair. This wasn’t turning out as I hoped it would. For the next few minutes, I fumed to myself. I totally had no idea what was happening and no one seemed sensible enough to tell me anything. I’d totally been cut off from the Sarah World.

We spent the last half an hour listening to Matchbox Twenty’s last album before the band broke up. It was kind of our favorite at the time. We all agreed we won’t disband like they did. But now, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Ricky drove like his Gran. I’d actually thought riding a mule was much faster. At this rate, we’d reach the beach in no less than two days.

“You should take it easy on her, you know,” Ricky finally broke the silence.

Chuck and Reed exchanged some kind of telepathic look before giving Ricky a ‘shut up or we’re toast’ stare. I was right. They knew something I didn’t.

“I would, if anyone starts to give me something.” Looked like no one was willing to spill it out. “Sarah’s here in Boston, right? She’s not… She’s not—”

“Dead?” Chuck blurted out.

Reed punched him on the arm again. Like magic, he shut up, looking down as he rubbed his arm.

“Thanks a lot, guys. Well, that explains everything,” I groaned ironically. “C’mon! Give me something, damn it! I’m going nuts here!”

Reed just looked away, pressing his lips together.

“W-we can’t, man. We swore. Our reputation may be at stake here,” Chuck murmured to me. “Why don’t you ask Ricky? Everybody already knows he’s a geek I don’t really think he cares much about his reputation.”

“Hello? I’m right here!” Ricky retorted. “I know I’m a geek. You don’t need to rub it in my face. And for your information, I do care.”

“I was just sayin’ maybe you should do it. You’re good at... uh… explaining stuff.”

Was that an actual compliment from Chuck? Still, nothing made sense to me.

“Oh… okay,” Ricky groaned sarcastically. “Let’s make the geek do all the complicated stuff. He won’t care if his deepest darkest secrets get posted in Twitter. Just because he got in a band with a rock star who has a blackmailer ex-girlfriend.”

I had to endure the rest of the trip listening to Ricky’s long list of complains and stuff and whatnots. The conversation was going nowhere so I didn’t bother. This rousing guessing game just seemed to make my headache worse.

My thoughts kept on skipping from one thing to another. And I was forced back to reality right when Ricky parked the car in the side of the road.

At barely ten o’clock, Gloucester Beach was already scorching under the hot sun. The light reflected by the water almost blinded me and the sand seemed to bake under the heat. I couldn’t begin to count how many memories of Sarah came flooding back in as I looked at it. It seemed like forever since all those things happened.

At the rightmost part of the beach—the spot farthest from the highway—was a makeshift tent. It was surrounded by barricades.

Chuck held me back as I about to get of the car. “You sure about this man?”

“Of course I’m not sure,” I muttered, slamming a pair of shades over my face. I grabbed the portfolio and the cardigan. Then, I was on my way. “But if you all won’t talk, I’d find out for myself.”

The small spot was bustling, seemingly too full of people and props. I tried not to think of my fluffy slippers as me and the gang made our way to the shoot area. The beach didn’t have as much guests today, which was a plus for me.

It looked like the action was happening on the beach where a bunch of kids were doing some kind of we’re-innocent-and-cute-while-having-fun montage.

We vaulted over the barricade and stopped to look around. A couple of crew men started to us.

“Hey, this area is off-limits,” said one of the crew.

The other tried to grab Reed, but before he could touch him, Chuck ran straight to the guy. He bent over and rammed his shoulder against the guy’s stomach. Classic linebacker move.

“Opening!” he shouted, pushing the guy backwards.

“Two, eleven, twenty-four… Hut!” Reed grinned. He charged towards the second guy and crashed straight into him.

Beside me, Ricky sighed and rolled his eyes. “What does that even mean?”

“No idea,” I replied. “Make a run for it, I guess?”

He just groaned. Cardio had always been his weak spot.

“Ladies first,” I chided.

I scanned the whole place as we nudged our way across the enclosure. Past the air-conditioned tents were a group of kids posing in the beach. The lighting equipment and props were blocking my view. I craned my neck and hurried to get a better view. As I did, I bumped into a crew. I backed away and toppled a box of props by accident.

A girl holding a clipboard was pointing security towards me. While Reed and Chuck were still wrestling with the crew men,       Ricky was running for his life. Boy, could he run. All he needed was the right motivation. In this case, being scared. He slinked between equipment, ducked under  two men carrying a portable ladder and crashed straight towards one of the tents. It collapsed, bringing down everything in its way.

Things fell one by one like dominoes. People panicked. Some tripped over the scattered wiring. Others got hit by lighting stands.

“Sorry! It was an accident,” I blurted out, slowly backing away from the commotion.

This wasn’t exactly how I expected things would turn out. Well, I really had no idea what to expect. But not this.

I tried to slip away from the commotion as inconspicuous as possible. Moira and Dad would double-kill me if they knew I’d caused this much trouble. Not to mention, there’d be a great possibility that my name, but mostly, my face would get dragged all over media for weeks.

In the act of vaulting over the barricade, I heard a familiar voice. The mere sound of it made me freeze. My heart was pounding in my throat.

“Everyone stay close to me, okay?” said the voice, sounding full of concern. “Don’t cry Jason. It’s okay. I wouldn’t let you get hurt.”

My head whipped to the voice’s direction. Surrounded by fifteen or so kids was none other than Sarah. They were standing on the part of the beach where the waves were able to nip on their feet. She hunkered down and wiped the cheeks of a dark-haired boy. The children kept close to her, hugging her legs, holding her hands, clutching the skirt of her blue doll-ish dress. They seemed to trust her very much, find comfort near her. And I knew just exactly why.

It’s Sarah. It’s really her!

My feet went on their own towards her like I was in some kind of trance. I couldn’t even begin to think how much I wanted this moment to come.

As she saw me approach, she got to her feet and shuffled. She could’ve backed away if she could, but the children were preventing her from taking off. Her eyes were wide with shock, her pale pinkish lips parting a little as I stepped closer.

“Hi,” I mumbled, giving myself a mental whack on the head.

Really? You’re meeting the only girl you’ve ever thought of marrying and that’s all you could come up, Leon? Real slick.

I remembered to smile, trying hard not to look like some creepy stalker or something, but all I could manage was to twitch the corner of my mouth. Basing on her almost-scared reaction, I didn’t do so well.

“I… Uh… You f-forgot some things.” I waved her portfolio, still keeping my distance. Seemed like I was scaring the kids too because they clung tighter to Sarah. “Look. I just want to talk.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, glancing left and right before she finally realized I wasn’t going away without my answers. “W-what about?”

“What about…” I echoed her words like a big idiot, sarcasm leaking from my voice. “How casual. For starters, why did you take off without a word, Jo? Is that even your real name? Because I know someone who looks exactly like you. But that person? I know—no—I’d bet my life she won’t lie to me. She won’t pretend to be someone else because she’s the most honest, kindest person I know. Or knew.”

She shuffled backwards as I took a couple of steps closer. “I… Not now. P-please.”

“Why not, Jo?” I took another step forward. It was confusing. Seconds ago, I thought I was the happiest guy on the face of the planet. And in the blink of an eye, now I was the angriest. “Tell me. So you could run away from me again? You know what? You have something in common with that girl after all. You’re both good at running away.”

The mist forming in her eyes was enough to make me swallow my tongue. Just seeing that reminded me of the Sarah I knew from what seemed to be a long, long time ago. I saw myself running to her, draping my arms around her and telling her that I was sorry. Even though I got no clue what my fault was in this. But I just clenched my fist and willed myself to stay exactly where I stood.

“You wouldn’t understand…” That was all she could choke out.

“Then make me.”  She finally met my eyes and I found myself getting lost in them. I wished I could see the past three years of her life in them, the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve if things went differently. But they were too deep for my grasp. “I’m not as smart as you. I don’t even have half your intellectual capacity. I never know how your brain works. But I can try.”

I got no answer from her. She just looked away, seemingly determined to keep her mouth shut. The crew just got over the mayhem and started to take interest on us.

I could hear Ricky screaming, “You won’t take me alive!” which I was sure he’d gotten from one of those online role playing games he played not less than five hours every day. Reed and Chuck were still playing tag with security and it looked a lot like they were having the time of their lives.

All I could do was sigh. “Seriously? This is all I get? After all those years I’ve waited? After what happened last night too… Don’t you think you owe me even the smallest explanation why one night we’re kissing and—“

Next thing I know, she was in front of me, clasping a hand over my mouth. Being this close to her, I could still smell her hair and see the blush on her pale cheek. I grabbed her hand and yanked it away from my face.

“Why? It was you, wasn’t it? It was you who slept with me last—“

She practically tackled me, forcing her hand over my mouth. “Are you out of your mind?” she hissed. “There are children here!”

“What? I’m just telling the truth,” I blurted in defence. “Be honest. Isn’t that what your mommies always tell you kids—“

I nearly screamed when she stomped on my foot. She totally killed my right bunny slipper. “What gives!?”

An involuntary smile curled the corner of her lips as she stared at my feet. Soon, she was already suppressing a giggle. I felt outstandingly embarrassed all of a sudden. If it was the bunny slippers or the fact that people were watching us, I couldn’t really point out.

“Nice shoes,” she commented.

“Yeah,” I rolled my eyes. “Someone stole my shoes last night. Right after we had s—“

“Leon!” she hissed again, managing a threatening glare.

Her face was redder than Chuck’s underwear. And suddenly, it was as if I could see her again—the Sarah I’d known and loved—right in front of me.

“Okay.” I put my hands up, eyeing at the kids still huddling close to Sarah. “Seeing as we are currently rated GP, I won’t talk about it.”

“G-good,” she snapped, reluctantly taking my arm to tow me away from the scene we’d just made. “Come with me.”

From the air-conditioned tents—or at least, what remained of it—came Chris Meneses. He looked dazed at first but when he took in the mess his shoot had turned into, his big eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

“What the—“ He could’ve been having a heart-attack for all I knew. “What are you idiots staring at me for?!! Move! Call the police! Call nine-one-one! Do anything! Get the hell out of my sight!” he barked uncontrollably.

“I’m so getting fired for this,” Sarah mumbled, quickening her pace. “And it’s on you.”

“Well, he’s the one who invited me here.” I caught up with her, shaking my head. “And all this is my fault now? Since when did you start to lie to me Sarah?”

All the while, she never spoke or even looked at me. She just kept walking with her eyes fixed forward like she wasn’t listening.

She only stopped once we were safely away from the shooting area and in a fairly good distance from Chris Meneses’ fury. Finally, she spun in her heels to face me. The passing cars, the noise of engines and horns worsened the throbbing in my head.

“Come on, tell me.” It seemed like three years worth of patience had just ran out in the last three minutes I’d spent with her. “How long was I running around in circles like your own personal dumbass? Now I totally feel like a dumbass. I waited three years, Sarah. All this time, I never stopped thinking of you.”

“I never told you to wait,” she answered, her voice steely. “Neither did I tell you to expect anything from me besides those stupid letters!”

Blankly, I nodded. Her words hit me on the face like a wrecking ball.

“Yeah. I get it.” I gave her a bitter smirk. “And those letters weren’t even from you, are they? And this whole time, I thought there must be something wrong with me. God, I thought I was losing it. But the truth is, I’d been reading shit all along!”

“You know what? I don’t want to do this anymore.” Her voice broke. She turned away and stared at the beach while hugging herself. “J-just go.”

I took three deep breaths and closed my eyes. I didn’t come here to argue with her. I came here to be with her and it didn’t matter that I all but wanted to explode. Now that I’d finally found her, I wasn’t going to let her go again.

“Sarah… please,” I said, about to hold her when she just stepped away.

“No. Leon. It’s been three years. A lot of things have changed. I’ve changed.” There were tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

I was speechless for a while. But before she could walk away, I managed to find my tongue. “That’s it? Three years and you think one sorry is going to fix everything?”

She paused to glance back at me. “That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” she mumbled with a noncommittal shrug. “We can’t fix everything.”

“And what about last night?” I demanded, my voice getting weaker by the second. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? To the Sarah I’d known three years back?”

It took her a while to hold back the tears and find her voice before she could answer. “No. It wouldn’t mean anything to the Sarah you knew three years back.”

Again with the huge wrecking ball crashing straight to my face. I took her in for the last time, noting how much she’d changed. How she’d grown a tiny bit taller. How her hair had now reached the back of her waist and had that lighter gingery tinge about it. How her gray-blue eyes popped with her light make-up. And I thought to myself that maybe she’d changed after all.

Without another word, I turned around. I wanted to be the first one to walk away this time. I didn’t think I could take losing face again. As I went, I thought she wanted to say something. But maybe that was just wishful thinking. Because in the end, her silence kept me moving forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So it took me forever to update this. So, yeah. We're close to the end. And I hope to see you til then.

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