Chapter 21 – How to Get a Major Promotion from your Nerdy Boss

“What was that all about?” Sarah asked with a look between scared and dazed.

When I didn’t answer, she tightened her clutched around my hand. I just shut my mouth and gave her a shrug, fixing my eyes on the road. Frankly, I didn’t know what to say to her. She already chose Matt. Oh, well. The smartest thing to do was take the earliest flight to LA tomorrow. Never look back. Disappear without a trace. Party all week. Drink ‘til I drop. Get into the front page of gossip magazines. Buzz cut my hair. Change my name to Pedro. And maybe die in some hell hole.

“Is… is there something wrong?” she asked again after a while. “Leon!” she shouted nudging me on the ribs, glaring. She tapped a finger on the side of my head. “Sarah to Leon. Please respond. Over.”

“Nothing!” I snapped at her. “Nothing’s wrong. Everything is so freakin’ perfect.”

“What’s wrong with you?” she retorted, her voice shaking.

I let out a sour chuckle. “What’s wrong with me... What’s wrong with you?!” I shouted through the rickety roar of engines. “Matt’s been making your life miserable for how long? Forever? And now you want to get all cosy and mushy with him?”

Her eyes narrowed, the corner of her lips slightly pulling up. “Wait. Don’t tell me... Don’t tell me you’re jeal—“ She bit her lip before she could say more.

“What?” I barked. “You think I’m jealous? Well, maybe I am. So what’re you going to do about it? How thick can you really get? I’m here, Sarah. I’ve always been here! So why do you always look away? What else should I do, huh? Get crucified? Kneel at your feet? Have your name tattooed on my forehead? Tell me!”

Looking stunned, Sarah shook her head, eyes misty as she opened and closed her mouth. She swallowed and took a deep breath before choking out the words. “Y-you... don’t have to do anything. Just... just you is enough.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, a surprised look on her face as she caught it on her hand. As if she had no clue why she was crying. With a heavy sigh, I leaned her head on my shoulder. Why was it so hard to get angry with her?

“I’m sorry,” I said, my words immediately lost in the wind. “It’s just that Matt has one thing I couldn’t have... You have memories of him somewhere in there.” I pointed a finger to her head. “I can’t compete with that.”

“Well, y-you don’t need to,” she replied, smiling wryly while looking down on her lap. “There’s no need to compete when you’ve already won.”

Seconds ticked. I couldn’t say anything. All I could do was stare at her. Watch her expression. Did my ears deceive me? Was I imagining things out of desperation? Once I got over the numbness, I turned to her and caught her face with my hands.

Her blue-gray eyes fixed on mine and I held her gaze for a few moments before blurting out, “I love you. I always have. You might not remember but I’ll tell you again and again. Every day. Every minute. Every second, if you want me to. Until I’m sure you won’t forget it again.”

I hadn’t planned to tell her that in the back of a dirty old truck. Which smelled. A bit. Not while making a quick getaway from the mess the guys just made. But it was now or never.

Sarah’s eyes widened, her lips parting to say something but pursed to give me a warm smile. That smile she used to give me and only me. That smile that reached her eyes. The one that was hard to come by.

“I knew it,” she said, unable to force back her laughter as she suddenly embraced me and buried her face on my chest. “And I... I knew I was too young to have a heart attack.”

I breathed out, impulsively looping my arms around her, feeling an involuntary grin coming. It felt like a thousand years since I’d held her, making it hard to believe this was real. When I finally managed to make myself let her go, I held her chin with my fingers so I could gaze freely into her eyes. There was a hint of pink on her cheeks as she reluctantly fixed her eyes on my shoulder. Sarah didn’t move. Eyes wide like she’d just seen a ghost. It looked like she wasn’t even breathing.

“Err... T-there it is... again,” she murmured, still not looking to my direction.

“What?” I asked, tilting my head so that she’d be forced to face me.

She gulped. “The heart attack,” she rasped, clutching her chest. Frantically, she covered my eyes with her trembling hand. Then I felt her relax a bit, hearing her gasping as she caught her breath.

“Hey! What do you think are you doing?” I chided while chuckling.

I tried to remove her hand from my face but she whacked my arm away and tackled me down. Her forehead bumped on my chin as we tumbled down the steel floor. When I opened my eyes, she was already staring at me, instantly scrambling to crawl away to a corner before I could even blink.

Weakly, she sat across the steel floor, looking down. “Will you stop doing that?” she muttered.

“What did I do this time?” I asked, sitting up.

“Looking,” she answered hesitantly, her face getting redder by the second. “It’s giving me a heart attack.”

“That’s kind of hard,” I replied nonchalantly, taking her hand. Slowly, I inched my face closer to her until I could almost feel her irregular breaths on my face. “I guess you’ll just have to close your eyes... when I do this.”

Sarah closed her eyes. Yes! That was my cue. Just as I was about to kiss her, the truck skidded against the road, backfiring with an ear splitting noise as it stopped abruptly. My head was spinning like my brain had just been scrambled then fried. Sarah was rubbing the bruised lump on the side of her head. Frantically, I rushed to her side.

“Are you okay?” In panic, I grabbed her on the shoulders and shook. “What day is it? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three?” she answered, wincing.

I looked at my hands. Which were both clutched tightly over her shoulders. Something was definitely wrong with Sarah’s brain. “For crying out loud. Don’t joke on a time like this.”

“I’m fine,” she said, getting up and managing a small smile. “You worry too much.”

“I can’t help it,” I retorted, vaulting off the back of the truck before helping Sarah down. “This,” I gestured to all of her. “... is such an accident prone area.”

She managed to keep on her feet, throwing me a vicious glare. Chuck and Reed hopped out of the backseat while Nathan and Ricky lifted the hood to check out what was wrong. As soon as they opened it, sooty smoke wafted from the engines. The truck was a terminal case.

“These engines look like they came from the Triassic era,” Nathan scoffed, coughing.

“As a matter of fact, they did,” Ricky retorted sarcastically, kicking the front tire angrily before squatting on the sidewalk. “Rest in peace, Martha,” he murmured, making the sign of the cross. “You’ve lived a long fruitful life.”

Chuck and Reed looked at each other and chorused, “Amen.”

“Why Martha?!” Chuck knelt on the concrete. “Why do you have to die so young?” he cried melodramatically.

Reed brushed the non-existent tears from the side of his eyes. “I just knew her name. Didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. You’ll be remembered.”

As if nothing happened, they both pushed the truck to the side of the road while Nathan steered the wheel. Once done, we all sat on the sidewalk, sighing and staring at nothing through the dark. It was half past ten and it was impossible to hitchhike.

“Now what do we do?” Chuck kept shuffling on his spot, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. He’d been muttering silently to himself for a while now and it didn’t look like he’d be able to sit still for a minute.

“It’s bad karma,” Ricky blurted out, looking scared. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

Reed let out a sigh. “Ugh, quit complaining, man. Your car’s just really old.”

The nerd’s quick comeback was “At least I have a car.”

“Had a car,” Chuck corrected with a wild grin.

“I don’t know about you guys,” I said, getting up. “But I’m heading straight home. Let’s go, Sarah.”

“I’m tagging—“ Ricky seemed to have swallowed his tongue after Nathan nudged him on the side. “Go on,” he ruefully waved us off.

“Yeah...” Reed agreed, shooting a meaningful look towards his brother’s direction. “We need time to privately mourn Martha’s passing.”

Chuck nodded solemnly, keeping a serious face. “We want to say a few words before parting with her,” he said, letting out a deep sigh.

Reluctantly, Sarah stood up to follow me. When I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone else was coming, I heard a quiet thump. The next thing I knew, Sarah was on the ground, trying to get up after falling down. She bit her lip, looking more embarrassed than hurt.

“I don’t think she’s going anywhere,” Chuck commented, sniggering.

Leisurely, I took one step after the other, careful not to make any sudden movement while carrying Sarah on my back. She rested her chin on my good shoulder and tightened her arms around my neck. My first reaction after she fell was to bring her to the hospital. But she kept insisting that she was fine. She was as hard-headed as ever so I dropped the matter even if I was still unconvinced.

“Since when did you realize everything?” I asked in a hushed tone. “I mean... about us.”

We were just two blocks away from our houses. The road was already empty and all that could be heard was the gentle whooshing of trees lining the sidewalk as the warm summer air swept past us, turning every leaf every now and then. I could even hear my own footsteps. And the fast, steady thumping inside my chest. I found myself smiling at nothing.

“I... really can’t tell,” she mumbled. “I don’t remember what happened before. B-but all I know is that... something in me wants you near.”

“I’m sorry,” was all I could think of at that moment.

“For what?” she asked.

“For not telling you earlier...” I replied, heaving a sigh. Those past lies made me feel like I wasn’t deserving of her. Because she trusted me. “I... didn’t know how you’d react if I told you. I was afraid you’d freak out and push me away. You didn’t even know me.”

She didn’t say anything for a while until we arrived at her doorstep. I let her down without a word. Surely she must be disappointed in me. I was such a big fat liar.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely before raving on. “I’m sorry I forgot about you. About us. There’s only less than five percent probability that I would eventually get back my memories. Logically, speaking, the odds are that I’ll be this useless lump for the rest of my miserable life. Depressed and unable to move on because of my unfulfilled hopes and dreams... Even if I—“

Her voice cracked but she went on bravely. “Even if I couldn’t remember what happened in the past two years, will you still take me back? Because I think I’m... I’m in l-love with you too.”

Wordlessly, I fumbled on my pockets, frantically looking for my cell phone. And when I found it, I put it in camera mode and focused the lens on Sarah’s face. Automatically, she stepped back as if I was pointing a gun at her.

“Uh... What are you doing?” she asked, eyes shifting everywhere, checking if someone else was watching us.

“Say that again,” I said, still holding the phone up.

“What?”

“Repeat what you just said. Oh, and look at the camera.”

“Err... What are you do—“

“Not that,” I cut her off feverishly. “The one before that.”

She looked on the floor, gulped then faced the camera, her breathing fast and shallow. At this rate, she’d pass out before she could say anything. Anyhow, I waited for her to compose herself and say what I wanted to hear.

“W-will you take me back?” she stuttered.

“Why?”

“B-because I... I—Can we do this some other time?” Before she could turn away, I took her hand, giving her an encouraging look. And then, she said, “Because... I think I’m in love w-with you too.”

Satisfied, I saved the video before pocketing my mobile phone. “That’s for evidence. Just in case you forgot. Again,” I smirked, pulling her in, kissing her hair. “Sarah?” I called her name softly with my eyes still closed.

“Y-yes?” she breathed out.

“Just... checking,” I whispered back, holding her tight. “If you’re still here.”

“Of course I’m here,” Sarah replied. Something told me she was smiling and I didn’t need to look. “W-what’s gotten into you?”

Gently, I shook my head. “So I guess this is a promotion from the contractual best friend position. We’ll have to negotiate on a raise and my benefits.”

“Ugh. Have you always been this demanding?” Sarah muttered, resting her head on my chest.

 When she tried to pull away, I tightened my good arm around her and buried my face down her shoulder. Her hands fell beside her as if she didn’t know what to do. But that was okay. As long she was within my reach, I’d never let her go. Give her time. I told myself. Because I knew I’d wait for her even if it took forever.

“Actually, I have to ask you another thing,” I whispered on her ear, making her flinch a bit. “Can we stay like this for a little while longer?”

Hesitantly, she wrapped her arms around my back. I took that as a yes. We stood there, not moving, not saying anything. There wasn’t a need for words. And words couldn’t be enough to describe it. Was it so sick to be still thinking of her and missing her even though she was safely tucked in my arms? To wish for time to stop on this very moment?

The unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach told me I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Or any other night for that matter. Not when I was sure to see Sarah’s face on the ceiling or under my eyelids. It was so surreal. But her soft frenetic heartbeats, her warmth, the faint scent of apples on her neck, her ragged breathing were assuring enough. She was real.

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I'm back! That's all folks! XD                       ~shim