Chapter 17 – I Gambled With An Edible Dice

“Go on,” Nathan said with a smirk. “We’ll watch the house while you montage with Nerdy.”

I threw him a scowl. “Just don’t break anything,” I muttered, shaking my head, heading for the door.

When I reached the porch, Sarah wasn’t there. Didn’t I tell her to wait for me? Running away from me again, huh? We’d see who’d win this. I jogged over to Sarah’s house and knocked. After half a minute, Emma opened the door.

“Hi, Emma,” I greeted before she could say anything. “Is Sarah home?”

She creased her forehead. “I thought she went over to your house to ask you to go with her to the supermarket?” Sarah’s mom looked worried. “Oh, why does she have to be so stubborn? I told her she can’t go without you.”

“Uhm, I forgot. She told me to meet her at the bus stop,” I replied backing away. “Don’t worry.”

Emma started to say something to me but I didn’t get any of it. Finding Sarah was the only thing that mattered. If something bad happened to her because of me again…

When I got to the sidewalk, I looked left and right. Like a nervous little kid crossing the street.

Where are you, Sarah?

I sprinted to the bus stop. Sarah would probably go there and she couldn’t be too far. I forced my legs to run faster. The heat was making me dizzy. Ugh, bummer. I should work out more. Finally, I reached the last block. From where I stood to catch my breath, I squinted to see Sarah sitting on the bench beside the bus stop sign. Breathing a sigh of relief, I started to her.

I sneaked behind Sarah and tapped her on the back, making her jump a bit. When she looked over her shoulder I, poked her cheek with my index finger. That seemed to annoy and startle her at the same time.

“You’re in so much trouble, Sarah Byrnes.” I vaulted over the bench and sat beside her.

She cringed and inched to the edge of the seat like she was scared I might bite. “How did you find me?” she demanded.

I sported a big smile and shrugged. “Oh, is this what I get after covering up for you? Or maybe I should tell Emma that you went on your own,” I said giving her a meaningful look. “But because we are best friends, I won’t do that. Since it’s what best friends do. They don’t ditch each other.”

Her cheeks suddenly turned red, eyes into slits as she turned to me. For a second, I thought she’d go ballistic and hit me with the bus stop sign. But she froze and finally mumbled something like, “I-is it… possible to have déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?”

Okay. I wanted to say I wasn’t in the mood for a pop quiz but thought better of it. She looked serious. “I’m… not sure.”

She shook her head, looking dazed, blinking at me. “F-forget it.”

“Why? Anything coming back to you yet?” I asked. When she looked down and ignored me, I said, “Because this definitely happened before.”

That seemed to draw her attention. “Really?” She sounded sceptical.

“I swear. Two years ago. I ran after you and luckily, you’re not much of a runner,” I smirked, remembering how she cried like a baby when I told her I liked her.

Well, I didn’t exactly tell her I like you or something like that. It was implied. I didn’t like girls who cried a lot but for her it was different. It felt like I wanted to hold her and make her smile, no matter what it’d take.

“And why was I running away from you, exactly?”

I looked at her, a bit distracted with her gray eyes catching light from the late afternoon sun. I held her gaze and leaned closer. “Take a guess,” I whispered.

She didn’t move, looking a bit scared. The wind blew warm air that carried her hair and made her cheeks a brighter hue of pink. Damn, she looked so beautiful and innocent and sweet. Sarah shivered even though it was so hot outside. I stared at her lips meaning to kiss her. God knew how much I wanted to. She closed her eyes. Was that a sign that she wanted me to kiss her too? Should I do it? I exhaled when I realized I was holding my breath.

Two inches. The gap between us was so little I could almost feel her heart beat. One inch. Then she opened her eyes and started hiccupping. She put a hand over her mouth.

“The b-bus is coming,” she mumbled looking down. “Hick!”

“Right,” I smiled wryly, withdrawing. “We should probably get you something to drink.”

“I’m—hick! Fine.”

As the bus halted in front of us, I rolled my eyes and snatched her hand. Her fingers were cold. I towed her to the seat and slid right next to her. It was the most awkward bus ride of my life. Sarah kept staring through the window. I looked the other way until my neck hurt. Hiccups got the better of me. How lame was that?

We got off the bus at Main Street, heading to a local supermarket that looked more like a house compared to those in the city. I looked around while Sarah fumbled with her shopping list. As we passed by the narrow parking lot, I spotted a familiar red Camaro. No doubt, it was Matt’s.

“Hey,” I grabbed Sarah’s arm to stop her. “I know another store not too far from here. We should probably go there instead.”

Straining her eyes through the glare, Sarah stared at me then to her arm. I let her go. I was being paranoid. So what if she saw Matt? It wasn’t like Sarah liked her before she got the amnesia. Relax, Leon. You got this.

“Don’t contribute to global warming more than you normally do,” Sarah muttered. “Can we go in now? My brain’s losing more electrolytes as we speak.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, catching up with her. I totally didn’t get everything she just said but I thought I’d just go with it. “I was thinking, maybe we could grab something to eat after this,” I said holding the door for her.

She just looked away, creasing her forehead. It seemed like she wasn’t used to kind gestures. I almost forgot that this was the Sarah two years ago. The hard core nerd. The doubting Thomas.

“Like… dinner?” she stuttered.

“Yeah. Something wrong with that?”

In panic, Sarah bumped on the stacks of shopping baskets. Good thing I caught them before they toppled over her. The middle aged woman behind the counter eyed on us suspiciously but I managed an it’s okay smile toward her.

“S-sorry,” she whispered, hurrying to get a shopping cart instead.

Before she caused another ruckus, I pulled the cart from her and started to the grocery aisles. “No biggie. It’s what best friends do. They look out for each other. Just… don’t hurt yourself, okay?” I looked at her with a relieved smile.

She just dropped her gaze and walked beside me. And I just watched silently as she picked up the stuff she needed. While she was busy debating the prizes and the contents of one brand against the other, I was free to look at her. It was hard being so close to her like this, but not being able to hold her. I missed her. I missed us. But if this was the only I could be near her, I’d gladly take the Best Friend of the Year Award any day.

Sarah was nearly done when we stopped in the fruits and vegetables area. After she picked up a couple of salad greens and some potatoes, Sarah stopped in front of the crate of piled up apples and stared at them for a while. I took two and juggled them.

“They look good,” I said, showing her one of the apples. “Eat me. Eat me!”

“Put those back,” she hissed, curbing a smile. “It’s not on the list.” Then she grabbed the cart from me and headed to the counter.

I looked around while she paid for the groceries. No Matt. Maybe he moved away to Alaska and got frozen in an iceberg. With a huge grin, I headed back to the fruit section and picked up two apples. I jogged back to the counter. Sarah wasn’t there. Again.

Hurriedly, I gave the cashier the amount and ran outside. Why couldn’t she just stay where I left her? With my head pounding, I scanned the parking lot. It was already dark. Half past six. The same time Sarah got hit by a car. I made an edgy sprint around. Nothing registered in my brain except that I had to find her and fast.

I saw Sarah standing in front of Matt’s car, with no other than Matt.

“Sarah!” I called, running over to them. “There you are,” I blurted, trying to be patient. I was dead worried about her. Couldn’t she see that? How thick could she really be?

With a smirk, Matt Adams took the bags of groceries from her hand and loaded them into the backseat. “Relax, man. C’mon. I’ll drive you home.”

“I’m good,” I breathed out, managing to sound civil.

Oh. So now, he was using my no-car status to get Sarah. Clenching my teeth, I took Sarah’s hand and pulled her a few yards away from Matt. Once we were out of eavesdrop, I turned to her, breathing hard to control my temper.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

Cringing, she bit her lip and mumbled, “T-talking with Matt. What’s so wrong with—“

“That’s not what I meant.” All I wanted to do was take Sarah as far away from Matt as possible. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Can you just stop making me worried sick? It’s really getting annoying having to look for you every two minutes,” I growled through my teeth.

“Worried sick? Look. I’m not a kid anymore,” Sarah retorted, taking my hand off hers. “I have amnesia but I’m not stupid! I know what I’m doing and I can take care of myself!”

I shook my head angrily. “So why d’you think you have amnesia now, huh? Because you got hit by a car? Oh, right. Because someone tried to—“ I caught my tongue.

Someone tried to kill you. That was what I was about to say. But I couldn’t even let her know that. I was supposed to protect her. Not make her life more miserable by letting her know that some psycho-stalker was out there to get her. And that all of it was because of me.

“Someone tried to do what?” Sarah demanded, tugging on my sleeve.

“Forget it,” I replied, a little calmer now. “If you wanted so bad to go with him, then go. Just… be careful out there, okay?”

Looking down, I went to Matt and left Sarah gaping in the middle of the parking lot. For ten seconds or more, the dude and I did a little staring contest. I blinked first of course. Not because I was intimidated. But because I knew I already lost this round. It wasn’t my right to keep Sarah all to myself. She wasn’t mine anymore to begin with. And even though I’d like it very much to beat the crap out of Matt Adams, I’d let him off, if just for Sarah’s sake.

“Just one request,” I said without blinking. “Take her straight home.”

With a wide irritating grin, he replied, “Fair enough. I can do that.”

“That’s all I need to hear,” I said, turning away.

“So you’re giving her up?” Matt said before I could take a step.

“In your dreams, Matt.” A small lopsided grin involuntarily spread on my face as I glared at him over my shoulder. “Don’t you think you’ve won just yet.”

With a sniff, he raised his hands up with a laidback nod. “May the best man win.”

As I headed to the sidewalk, I heard Sarah arguing with Matt. I hated the dude’s guts more than anything but I knew he won’t let anything bad happen to Sarah. That was enough for me. Even if it was killing me.

“Leonard!” Sarah called.

But I didn’t look back. If I did, I’d just be tempted to grab her and run away. I was angry and unstable. I didn’t want her to see me like this. It’d frighten her and drive her away from me. I needed to cool down and sort out my wits. Make a plan that’d actually work. Or I could just be the good friend she wanted and stay by her side no matter what. With a sigh, I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice. It was the first time Sarah ever called my name since she woke up from the coma.

“Leon!” she shouted.

I froze. Did she just call me Leon? Or was it just my imagination? I turned to find her not too far away from me. She caught her breath and looked up at me.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “Are you mad?”

I creased my forehead. “What did you just call me?”

Flustered, Sarah hesitated for a while and said, “L-Leon…”

“Sarah? Are your memories coming back?” I asked, taking a step toward her but stopped when she shook her head.

“Sorry,” she whispered sheepishly. “It just… slipped out but if you don’t want me calling you that—“

“No.” I cut her off, deep in thought. “Leon’s fine.”

Maybe I still had a chance. Maybe her memories were slowly coming back without her even noticing it. That should be it. At least that was what I wanted to believe in.

Just when I expected her to go, Sarah stayed on her spot while looking at me with some meaning. I wished she said something. But in perfect timing, Matt started to honk his horn.

“Well, somebody’s in a rush,” I muttered darkly. “You better go,” I said when she started gawking again.

She looked at me with questioning eyes before heading to Matt’s car. If she was asking why I’d let her go, I’d no idea. Maybe I wanted her to have some sort of freedom I wasn’t able to give her back when we were still together. I was giving her options because although all I wanted in this world was for her to be mine again, I’d want more for her to be happy.

So out of impulse, I left it all to chance. I looked at the apple in my hand and asked God for a sign.

“Sarah!” I called her. When she stopped to look at me, I said, “If you catch this, it’s yours.”

I made up my mind. If she caught the apple, she’d be mine someday. If not, then I’d stick with the best friend trump card. In my head, I was weighing the odds. Sarah had the worst coordination ever, so my chances weren’t at all good. It was crazy to put my fate in one apple. But it was all I got.

I threw it to her, crossing my fingers behind me. Next thing I knew, the apple was already in Sarah’s hand. I totally didn’t expect that.

“Nice,” I said, casually stepping away while bouncing the other apple on my hand.

Even God was on my side. Or was he?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi! I've been gone for a while. Been having a hard time these past few weeks and I'm on medication again. Hopefully, I'd recover a better disposition soon and upload sooner. Thanks for all your messages and comments and please know that I appreciate all your support. Don't worry, because I will finish this book. I just need more room to think and question my existence and the like. See you soon.

~shim (incubation period T-minus 6/7 days)

PS- If this had a trailer, it would be the song to the right =_=