When the words take days,

You can rewrite and erase anything

You know my heart so tell me honestly

Did you ever really want this?                       The Last Thing That Meant Anything, Mayday Parade

Chapter 12 – The Ferguson Brothers Won Acting Awards

We stopped in front of EMC Park—the same spot where my eyes first landed on Sarah. Now that I thought about it, could it be that as soon as I saw that little hesitant smile of hers, I was a goner?

“Go ahead and wait for us,” I told Ricky. “We’ll walk from here.”

Becky didn’t seem all excited. “Well, I’m not walking.”

“It’s cool,” I replied, grudgingly getting out of the shotgun seat before opening the door for Sarah, flashing a smile that said “I’m boring and harmless.”

Becky could at least pretend to be eager about it, back me up if possible. I couldn’t imagine whatever happened to her that’d explain the radical change.

Hesitantly, Sarah got out of the truck, securing her old pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose with questions evident in her eyes. Silently, she looked around, then away from me. The garish rumble of Ricky’s Isuzu faded after several torturing moments. Then I was sure we were on our own. None of us talked. Most awkward twelve seconds of my life.

Drawing a deep breath, I stepped away until I reached a familiar spot about five yards from where Sarah stood. “This,” I started, “…is where I first saw you.”

I gazed into her gray eyes which somehow had a green hue today. She just looked confused, in deep thought, bleary-eyed like she was about to cry. Shaking my head, I raised a finger and pointed a finger at the little blue flower—which I set up ahead of time—down her feet. She stooped down to pick it up.

“W-what are you trying to do?” she stammered accusingly.

Scratching the tip of my brow, I let out a laid-back chuckle. “Since you can’t remember things, I was thinking, maybe we could do a replay.”

No joy on that. She seemed to distrust me more, looking at me like I was some kind of pervert.

“What d-do you want from me? Why… why are you doing this?” she demanded in panic but succeeded on desperately trying to sound in control.

That was just so her. Pushing people away. So pessimistic. So sceptical of everything.

With a sigh, I stared on the ground. “Because, Sarah. I can’t stand not being part of your life.”

Something wrung inside my chest but I tried to not let it show. I was good at that—hiding beneath a million dollar smile. Casually, I pocketed my hands and looked away with a sniff. When I risked looking up at Sarah, her lips were already pulled up a bit, her eyes melting in a stunned slipup while seeming to examine the blue flower on her hand.

“I’m not asking you to remember everything right now. I just want you to know,” I said, stepping to her, keeping my distance. Easy, I thought. Nice and slow. “Now let’s have a walk.”

With a hesitant nod from her, we moved along the sidewalk quietly, taking our time. As soon as the sun sunk into the horizon, crickets began humming. A slight breeze carried Sarah’s long hair as we strolled under the shades of the trees lining the park. It was a little strange walking with her like this without having to take her hand. At times, I had to restrain myself from involuntarily holding hers. When I realized that she’d no plan to speak to me, I set off the small talk.

“Can I ask you a question?” I began. “When you first saw me in the hospital, what was your first impression of me?”

She seemed to think about for a while, then mumbled, “T-that you were reckless… and a bad driver.”

All of a sudden I found myself smiling—laughing quietly even. For once, Sarah seemed to look at me with curious eyes, coiling slightly like she was afraid someone might hit her. I found this both funny and frustrating at the same time. I wished I could read minds so I won’t have to torture my brain every single minute just trying to guess what went on inside her head.

“What’s so funny?” she asked warily, not letting her guard down.

“Hmm…” I shook my head with a smile. “I just remembered something. We were arguing back then… and you said I drive like a maniac.”

Her eyes widened and as if in embarrassment, cheeks blushing. “I… I said that?”

“Yelled, actually,” I answered holding back a snigger. “You’re kind of fond yelling at me back in the days. And a lot, to be exact.”

She bit her lip. A slight wry smile lit her face before wearing that cynic mask again. “Then, you must be really… annoying.”

I kept my mouth shut after that. It was hard to think of what to say next. My stomach was in turbulence as we approached the school. I wasn’t having any progress with her. That had me thinking, maybe everything was hopeless. All I wanted was to be with Sarah. And now, she saw me as a stranger. That just sucked pretty much like hell. But then, quitting wasn’t an option. I’d soon step in front of a flying wrecking ball than lose her.

The glaring orange streaks soon disappeared from the sky, replaced by a deep star-studded indigo. Some of Sarah’s favorite constellations were visible and for a while I paused to admire them, swearing I’d bring back her smiles no matter what. You can do this. A Walden never backs out on his word, I told myself.

Leaning on the hood of his truck, Ricky nodded nervously at me while Becky started off to Sarah and obligingly took her hand. She knew what to do. Nathan had organized everything and kept her part as simple as possible since she was so unwilling to be a part of the scheme.

“Trust me on this, okay?” I whispered to Sarah, not waiting for a reply before I left with Ricky.

“You really love her that much, huh?” he asked as we jogged-sprinted toward the back door of the school. I didn’t need to answer.

He seemed to get the answer right away when I gave him a serious look.

“At first I thought love was a myth. Like it’s something hormonal since scientifically speaking, the hypothalamic tract controls our seat of emotions. Not the heart,” he rasped in between the harsh breaths. “But now? I think you’ve just… inspired me to… believe,” he panted, hands on knees while he caught his breath. Something told me that he didn’t practice any kind of running. He looked like he was ready to pass out.

Nice. Another blabbermouth in the gang. With a grunt, I paused waiting for him. “In English, man. Don’t be fooled by the glasses. I don’t really speak nerd.”

 “But you’re awesome at chess! You’ve beaten Nerdy! Two years ago. It has never been done before. Some of my subordinates even entered your name in our Chess Hall of Fame.” His already big eyes widened as if it was the most extraordinary thing in the world.

“Beginner’s luck, I guess.”

“Dang! All those years, I really thought you’re one of us. Some eye ailment explains the glasses, I presume?”

Hesitantly, I nodded. Ugh, Crud. Ricky talked too much. We didn’t have the time to exchange scholarly opinions so we hurried to Mr. Collin’s homeroom as soon as he overcame his rib cramp. Chuck, Reed and Nathan were already there, waiting in a small secluded corner just behind the student lockers.

“Again,” Nathan instructed edgily.

Chuck sniggered while reading his lines. “Wait. Why do I have to be Moira? Reed’s the girly one. And why can’t I be Gerald?” he demanded.

Unsteadily, Reed rolled his eyes and glared at his younger brother. “Because I’m manlier.”

Losing the last drop of patience in his body, Nathan waved away Reed’s comment and grumbled, “Because Moira’s a vital character and hers is the hardest most challenging part. I couldn’t think of anyone else being more deserving and capable of portraying her than you.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Chuck frowned, his brows tangled in confusion.

“Very. It’s a compliment for your greatness.” With the sarcasm on Nathan’s face, I’d bet he won’t even dupe a rock. Amazingly, he was able to smooth talk Chuck to do as he wished.

Smirking, Chuck nudged Reed on the ribs. “Heard that? I’m a better actor than you, bro.”

“All set?” I asked. “Sarah’s headed here.”

“Please kill me now,” Nathan muttered under his breath.

“Tempting,” I noted. “But later.” Ignoring his plea, I headed to the homeroom and waited for Sarah.

Two minutes later, I was pacing the floor back and forth. What would Sarah think after this? That I was some kind of psycho-weirdo? Maybe she’d hate me. Like she hated my guts before. The thoughts drove me crazy. Butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Heart hammering. Mind blank.

Soon she came, led by Becky who waited outside with Ricky Burns. Sarah looked puzzled as she reluctantly stepped in. Resigned, I slumped on the leftmost chair in the third row right next to the window and gestured for her to come closer.

“What now?” she asked cautiously.

“It’s okay. Last time I checked; no booby traps here.” I shifted on my seat, not really expecting her to warm up given the short time. “I transferred in the middle of the school year. Said I was from Rogue River, Oregon.” I let out a humorless chuckle at the irony. “Honestly, I’ve never even been there.”

“And I’m… supposed to care about this why?” she retorted rolling her eyes. Typical.

Ignoring her snide comment, I went on. “That day, the class seemed to be expecting some other student other than me. One named Leon Walden. Ring any bell?”

Looking more bewildered than ever, she shook her head.

“Anyway, they were disappointed because of this,” I gestured to myself, “…and booed me on my way to my seat. Here.” I tapped my hands on the armrest. “On my first day of school, you threw your notebook at me for no apparent reason. But you were really bad at throwing things. So you missed. We ended up in detention and you hated me since then.”

“Makes sense.” There was that cagy, untrusting look again as she fidgeted with the hem of her gray sweater. Her wavy hair fell as she looked down creating a brown cascade that hid her face.

With a smile, I turned to her standing up. “We’d have known each other in a better situation but thinking about it now, I couldn’t imagine meeting you any other way.”

For a while, she just stared at me, her pink lips parting a bit. She took a little step back when I brushed past her to the door. Reflex, maybe? She told me many times how she’d been bullied since the first grade. Maybe she thought I’d try an assault on her or something. Phase two—failed.

While I half-heartedly headed to my next position, Becky towed her from the room and led her to the lockers.

“Ready?” I mumbled in an undertone to Chuck and Reed as we assembled at our assigned places.

 With wide shaky grins, they nodded. I craned my neck, making sure that Sarah was able to hear us. Satisfied to see her peeking from behind the lockers, I took a deep breath and tried to recall my lines. It was weird to be in character when you’re actually portraying yourself.

Beads of sweat started to form on Reed’s forehead while he tugged on the pinstriped coat and tie Nathan forced him to wear. I averted my eyes from Chuck. With the power-suit for ladies he was wearing paired with high heels, it was kind of hard to not laugh like mad. He seemed to be in his element though, powered by Nathan’s phony praises.

“I didn’t say anything because I know it’d come to this,” I started with an exasperated tone.

“How about your… album launch? Or your obligations? I have my… contacts. I can easily make arrangements with these… people,” Reed answered as Gerald.

Actually he sounded like he was reciting an extremely complex definition during a pop-quiz.

I cursed inside my head, thinking how dumb we might’ve sounded to Sarah. Anyhow, I continued. “No. They’d sue Dad if—“

“This is an outrage!” he yelled sounding like Romeo calling for Juliet. Ugh. Damn you, Reed. “What if the media… finds out? All of our hard work will be wasted!”

“They won’t have the slightest idea,” I replied signalling Chuck to stop winking at me like a girl. It was starting to creep me out. The hairs on the back of my neck literally stood up. “I’d still do my work… Moira will help me with my school and schedule. I swear I’d pull this off!”

Batting her—I meant his eyelashes, Chuck draped a hand over Reed/Gerald who instantly squirmed away from him, looking both shocked and horrified. Moira would never do that. Ever. But Chuck seemed to be serious about his role.

“Gerald,” he said with a strained high-pitched tone that sounded like he had just been booted under the crotch.

Reed and I looked at each other, and like me, he pressed his lips hard to keep from laughing. His eyes started tearing up, shoulders shaking while forcing back the chuckles.

Unaffected by the hysterics, Chuck continued. “We should trust Leon on this, dear.” He even improvised.

I heard someone laugh. But it was not me or Reed. From behind the lockers, I realized it was Sarah. She placed a hand over her mouth but couldn’t seem to contain the giggles. Next thing I knew, Becky, Reed, Ricky and me; we were all laughing out to our hearts’ content. Only Chuck stayed clueless and silent. He kept bugging us about it but no one had the heart to tell him why.

“And now’s the part where we chase Nerdy,” he urged Reed, still in character.

Rolling his eyes, Reed grunted before shouting his lines, “What’s that? Who’s there?” and started after Sarah.

I heard Becky telling Sarah to run and go to the gym but she was still too busy laughing hard to listen. For two seconds, I stopped and gazed at her. It had been a long time since I last saw her this happy. I felt an involuntary smile coming.

Phase three— epic fail. But it was all worth it.

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Blink. Blink. Blink. *Rubs eyes* Ah there you are. Zup! So here it is. As promised. Beee boop boop bi bee beep. Haven't any decent sleep. What're we talking about again? Didn't expect so many votes in less than 24 hours. *crawls on the floor, cackling madly* You guys are so unforgivving so I'm raising up the notch. Update will be up after 100 votes (random rofl) or after 3 days--whichever comes first. I'm way over in my head and that's the caffeine and sugar talking... pwahahahaha... beat that you voters you!!! XD

Drop dead gorgeous -- not! ROFL! Feel the wrath of my eyebags, dudes!!!

~shim