I'm out of sight, I'm out of might

I'll leave it all for you in time,

And of all these things I've done

I think I love you better now... Ed Sheeran, Lego House ----->>>

Chapter 1 - How It All Started

"Leon?" Sarah called, looking at me while I drove.

"Hmm?" I kept my eyes on the road. She'd kill me if I didn't.

"Do you like to ride Ferris Wheels?" she asked expectantly.

I just shrugged and let out a snort. To be honest, heights had been my worst nightmare since forever but I'd rather not let her know that. I had a reputation to uphold, thank you very much. Plus, she was being unreasonable. I said I'd take her to the Prom. I've already had everything planned out. Ugh, crud. What should I do? Drag her all the way to the Prom? I'd need a burlap sack and gags just in case she struggled.

"I'm thinking, hmm... popcorn. Instead of the Prom, we could go there instead... when you come home?" she teased. At least it sounded like that to me.

"Where?" I faked innocence.

"To the amusement park," she told me with a smile.

How could I say no to that? She looked like she was gonna cry if I go on about convincing her to go to the Prom with me. All of a sudden, I remembered the first time I saw her wear high heels in California. Her shoe just flew off her foot like a mini torpedo before crashing on a vase. The look on Sarah's face was priceless! Something that said, "No please! I don't wanna go to juvie!"

I let out a laugh. Good thing she didn't ask why.

"I'll miss you," she said.

"I'll miss you more." I replied knowing that I'd always come back for her no matter what.

A year later...

My kind, we live a painfully dreary life. But there's lots of it. And believe me-there are things far worse than dying.

I rubbed my temples and tossed the script on the table. It was hard to be in character when I couldn't help but get distracted. It was the first of June-Sarah's eighteenth birthday. I promised I'd celebrate it with her. But I messed it up again. Just like graduation and homecoming and pretty much all the other promises I made in the past year.

If there was one thing I hated about myself, it would be that I let her down all of the time. Sarah had been nothing but understanding about my work even if I hadn't spent much time with her for the past few months. She was such a saint, really. Maybe she'd be nominated for canonization next year.

As much as I loved to be with her all the time, I had commitments-an album launching and an upcoming movie about a three-hundred year old vampire who had fallen in love with the daughter of a vampire hunter. Ugh. To this date, I couldn't understand why Moira, my former secretary slash new manager, accepted the project for me. She knew I don't do romance.

Just thinking about it made my neck itch. Maybe I'd have the hives.

They could make me do everything-cry like an idiot, do dangerous stunts or gory fight scenes. But no one could make me kiss another girl, even if it was just a job. Surely, Sarah wouldn't make a fuss about it but I wouldn't be able to look her straight in the eyes if I did.

I know, I know. I hadn't been like this before I met her. Whether it was a job-and most often not-I'd gladly do it just as long as the girl was hot. But now... I dunno. Maybe I lost my man- mojo.

The door swung open. I heard the clicks of stiletto heels against the floor and knew right away that it was Moira.

"So? What do you think about the script?" she asked with an encouraging tone, brushing a lock of ginger hair that escaped from her tight bun.

"Fantastic! I already signed a contract. What else could I do?" I sighed sulkily.

My new personal assistant Megan entered the dressing room with an armful of clothes, fan letters and hangers. Moira hired her for me but not without a lot ofprotest from me. I could manage on my own. Plus, it was just plain annoying to have someone constantly fiddling over my stuff.

Moira managed a wry smile. "Leon, you've got to try new things. This publicity would be good for your album launching."

"Sure. I guess everyone loves to have athree hundred year-old vampire sing them to sleep," I muttered under my breath, picking up the script. Moira seemed to have guessed why I'd been sullen all morning.

"I'm sure she would understand. After all, it's just work," she replied eyeing at Megan.

We didn't speak of Sarah whenever someone else was around. For more than a year, we managed to hide her existence from everyone. It was Sarah's idea but I agreed anyway. I didn't want to have people poking around her or her life or her parents. I couldn't stand to have people taking pictures of her. Just thinking about it made me want to throw something at someone. Really bad.

Restraining myself, I pretended to read the script. "Just drop those anywhere," I said to Megan. She was Moira's niece, a year or two older than me; a little too tall, with bushy auburn hair and a lot of makeup. Moira said she ditched college to try her luck in Hollywood but didn't get the break she was waiting for so she settled on being an assistant. She was a bit irritating, really. Sometimes, I'd unintentionally find her sniffing my clothes or stroking my guitar which was just downright creepy.

When Megan was gone, I faced Moira. "I'd have to talk to Sarah about it first. I don't want her to... worry."

"Wait. I thought you already did that?" she said fixing a pair of horned-rimmed glasses on her face.

"I was about to. If you didn't just make me cancel my flight this morning," I said dryly.

With a rueful look, Moira got my mobile phone from the table and dialled. "Here, tell her. Now. She deserves at least that." She handed me the phone.

I swallowed hard. I'd been intentionally delaying this moment for a few weeks now. My mind turned blank when she picked up.

"Hello, Sarah. It's me," I said a little too soon after the ringtone.

"Leon," her voice sounded vague. "I was worried about you. I thought something bad happened."

I stared at the wall, trying to remember her face, her stormy-gray eyes, her lips. Was she smiling?

After a while, I answered, "My flight got cancelled. I'm so sorry, Sarah. I knew I promised to be there and you don't how much I wanted to be there... But something really important came up."

The silent pause made it even more unbearable. She must be really mad now.

"Are you okay?" Sarah finally said, her voice softer than a whisper.

I couldn't answer right away. After I let her down on her birthday just because of some stupid interview, she was even more concerned if I was okay. That was just so Sarah. I must've done something right to deserve her. But it didn't make me feel any better knowing that I was hurting her all the time. Of course, she wouldn't fuss about it. Of course, she wouldn't say a thing, but I could feel all that sadness she tried to hide from me. Or grudges.

"Yes. Sarah, I'm really sorry. I swear I'll make it up to you once I get home okay?" I said hating myself more by the second. I had to tell her about the kissing scene but my brain just haywired.

"See you then," she replied seemingly distracted.

"And Sarah?"

"Yes?"

"I... Happy birthday," I breathed as something wrenched in my chest. Guilt trip extravaganza.

"I love you," she murmured, her voice almost breaking.

"I love you more," I replied, missing her more and more.

Moira pointed at her wrist watch, shaking her head. How could I tell Sarah? I just broke her heart and I couldn't bear to make it worse. I put the phone down and stared at the small blue box I intended to give her as a present.

"Five minutes," Moira reminded me as she slipped out of the room.

I clenched my fists, took a deep breath and tried to focus on the script. Someone might ask me about it during the interview and Moira would want people to think that I really loved my role, so I read it. My thoughts always strayed. I couldn't help but think about Sarah.

She seemed to take everything so well that sometimes it made me think if she was just faking it. When rumors about me dating Elle broke to the media, Sarah didn't even complain or ask me if it was true. Even when the talk about her-my secret non-showbiz girlfriend-came out, she just said that it was okay, said it was part of my work and she understood.

I just couldn't take it. People made it sound like Sarah's a criminal mastermind. Like all my mistakes were her fault-that she was ruining my life when the truth was that she was the only thing that kept me going.

When her mom, Emma got fired from her job, Sarah told me it wasn't my fault even if we both knew who was behind the lawsuit against her. It was Camilla Downing, my mother. I just knew it was her who paid the person filing a malpractice case against Sarah's mom. It was just something Camilla would do. Just like what she did to Dad, she wanted to make Sarah's life miserable.

It was my fault for trying to reason out to Camilla. I thought she had changed over the years but as it turned out, I was wrong. And I dragged Sarah to London, to Camilla, making everything far worse than I'd imagined.

I couldn't imagine whatever Sarah did wrong to deserve an all-messed-up boyfriend including his all-messed-up family.

"I play Cain," I replied with a smile to a reporter. He had to repeat his question because I was spacing out a bit. I tried to sit still and keep my eyes on the crowd while sporting a smile that said "Yeah, I'm so enjoying this. I'm so lucky."

"What qualities do you think you have in common with Cain?" said a middle-aged reporter from the crowd.

It took me a while before answering. All I knew about Cain was that the dude's a very old vampire with a teenager's body. Other than that, I had no idea. But I wouldn't let people know that.

"Uhm... we're both blood-suckers?" I said smiling and laughter filled the spacious convention room-as expected. Seriously, it wasn't even funny but I kept my lips pulled up. "Kidding aside, I think me and Cain would agree about many things, like how he'd do anything for love."

There was a short pause as pens scribbled angrily on notepads. Touch down.

Another reporter stood up and asked, "People are wondering, have Leon Walden ever fell in love for real?"

As rehearsed, I kept them on the brink of their seats before answering, "Maybe."

"Leon," another raised a hand. "The rumor that you and Louella Cole are dating, is there any truth about that?"

"Louella and I are close friends and she's very dear to me. But we're not dating."

"Rumor has it that you have a non-showbiz girlfriend. Is it true?"

I cleared my throat and saw Moira at the corner of my eye. She nodded like saying "Go with the plan."

Clenching my teeth, I said, "No. It's not true."

I straightened and managed to keep a casual smile on my face, struggling to keep my coolwhile the reporters threw questions at my co-stars. I hated lying about Sarah. It felt like I was cheating on her. But since it was what she wanted, I kept repeating those lines in every interview.

"I've heard there were several kissing scenes in the movie," a lady in her twenties asked. "Are you done with the shoot? How do you two feel about it?"

I froze on my seat. It was Hayden Levine who answered first. She played Annette, the lead-female.

"No, we still haven't done the part but I must say that I'm looking forward to it," she said smiling, pushing a few blond locks from her face. "It's such an honor to have the chance to work with Leon. I mean, he's been in the business for quite a while now and I've been learning so much from him."

"You made it sound like I'm old," I joked leaning on the microphone propped in front of me.

As the audience twittered, I gave Hayden a grateful nod. It seemed like she knew what she was doing. In fact, we never really talked that much in the couple of months we've been working together so I had no idea what she had learned from me. Maybe I was just too preoccupied to notice that she was a lot nicer than I thought she'd be. And hot... err...

"And is he giving you tips about the kissing scenes?"

Hayden laughed nonchalantly and threw a meaningful look at my direction. "Not yet. But I hope he will."

I had the sudden urge to topple the table over but I just smiled and nodded. Hopefully, Sarah wouldn't see this on TV.

The talk veered to my album. I was secretly grateful for the change of topic but it didn't improve my mood. As much as I wanted to lose the grin and bust out of the interview room, I had to restrain myself and act like I was having the time of my life.

When at last, the movie interview ended, I said my thanks and left the stage a little too quickly than most would've expected. On my way down, I saw Moira shook her head, sighing. That won't stop me and she knew it.

Hurriedly, I jogged to the dressing room to get my stuff. I heard Megan's voice when I reached for the door. She seemed to be talking to someone inside the room.

"What? I'm Leon's girlfriend so don't ever call him again or I'll come find you! And when I do, you'd wish you were never born!"

Cursing, I slammed the door open. Megan let out a startled cry when she saw me coming. I snatched the phone from her, unable to control my anger. The last call log was from Sarah.

"GET OUT!" I growled through my teeth while I could still contain myself from doing something really violent. "Out!!!"

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Hi! It's me again *taps mic...ehem... cricket sounds*

So I hope you're still there. Anyone? Anyone at all? Uh... yeah well I hope you liked this chapter and tell me how you feel about it. Vote, fan and leave a message if you can :) and Oh, I hope you recognize that scene on the first part and if you did, thanks for reading Life as told by Nerdy's Bonus chapter.

So many are asking about the prologue: what happened to Sarah? well that would be answered in the next few chapters so please please watch out okay?

No left turn,

~shim :)