Don't you worry your pretty little mind,

People throw rocks at things that shine

And life makes love look hard                              ---- Taylor Swift, Ours

I remembered standing in the middle of an amusement park. But I didn’t remember how I got there. My mind was too busy to note the little details.

I walked. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I had to go somewhere. I had to do something. It wasn’t clear to me why.

My watch read half past 4 o’clock. The sun would set in a couple of hours.

What’s taking them so long? They should’ve been here by now.

I didn’t know what my destiny was. Sarah thought I was born to be an artist. I was planning on something else.

The old nerdy glasses fit me like it did three years ago. Everything was blurry. But I felt like I could see clearer just because I could focus on the more important things.

The crowd started to thin out. People headed to the bay view to watch the scheduled fireworks display. As they did, no one threw me second glances as they walked by. It felt good to be normal again. To blend in.

I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets.

There was no assurance that I’d accomplish something. And I had nothing but a crumpled piece of paper and a necklace. And maybe, if I was lucky, a few memories that would help me do what had to be done.

I stood there, staring at the Ferris Wheel, dwelling in memories of that day Sarah asked for a date in an amusement park instead of a date to the Prom. I should have just given her what she wanted. Maybe things had turned out differently.

No. It was no use trying to figure out what could have been.

I pulled out the tiny leather-bound notebook from my pocket and flipped the pages until I found some kind of bucket list. She wrote: Make New Memories!

So far, she’d crossed out many things. Most were just petty. Still, it made me wish I had been there to do them with her.

A smile pulled up my lips when I read Learn how to drive. Safely. She’d always hated it whenever I drove fast. Back then, she was too much of a scaredy-cat to learn how to drive. She’d hyperventilate once she got in front of the steering wheel. Sarah was finally being brave.

When I turned the pages, I found a piece of table napkin neatly folded in between the sheets. I carefully unfolded it and realized it was the goodbye letter I wrote for Sarah during our recent press con. How it got to her was a mystery. I remember leaving it at the venue.

“She was there!” I thought out loud. “She was there all along!”

A few people stared at me, but I was too excited to get embarrassed. My chances to a life in a mental institution just went down a notch.

I was laughing by the time I noticed Chuck and Reed making their way through the crowd. Both of them wore shades and baseball caps. Weird thing was, their clothes were soaked. Behind them was Ricky, getting caught by the tide of the moving crowd while towing someone.

“Hey! W-we’re here!” Ricky yelled out, raising a hand like he used to in class. When people looked at him, he pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and looked down. We couldn’t afford getting too much attention in a place like this.

The blonds were the first to reach me. Both of them had grins on their faces.

“Man, taking people to places without their permission is so fun!” Chuck laughed. “People should do it for a living. I’ll be the first, if ever.”

Reed rolled his eyes. “Dude. People already invented that job way before. It’s called kidnapping. You’re gonna go to jail if you do that.”

“Oh.” Chuck scratched the back of his head. “Does this mean we’re going to jail? People like, saw us kidnapping her.”

Reed just sighed.

“Here she is.” Ricky finally managed to nudge his way to us.

Stepping to me was Sarah, dripping in her jeans and beige sweater. She left a wet trail behind her. She was throwing me this kind of murderous look that brought back memories of that time when Dad and I had to kidnap her to keep her from exposing my identity to the whole school.

The smile on my face was automatic. “What on earth—“

“She fought,” Reed answered mysteriously.

“A lot,” Chuck added.

Ricky started to say “And she’s—“ before Sarah marched in front of me and stomped on my foot before hitting me on the side of my head. “…really angry,” he added with a rueful smile.

I went blind for a second. Man, she could hit. I rubbed my cheek and tried to ignore the pulsing pain in my right big toe. I couldn’t keep myself from laughing.

Sarah was indeed becoming brave.

She threw her most threatening glare at me. “This is not funny, Leon Wal—“

I placed a hand over her mouth before she could make a scene.

“Sshhh… We just have to talk.” I started moving, placing a hand on the small of her back and another at her left elbow. “Why’re you all wet?”

Reed pressed his lips into a thin line and looked away. Ricky, on the other hand, cleared his throat, muttering “I’m gonna be so dead.”

It was Chuck who answered, “So we were in Gloucester. And they were still doing that shoot thingy. When she saw us, she just ran. Of course, we surrounded her. She wasn’t much of a runner.”

“Yeah. She’s kind of slow,” I agreed absent-mindedly.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Hello? I’m right here.”

I shrugged. “Still doesn’t explain why she’s soaked.”

“Uhm…” Chuck looked up, as if to think. “She started running to the beach. And she kept running and running until she got herself in too deep. Turns out, she doesn’t know how to swim either. We had to like, get in the water to save her, dude! Whatever did you see in her? She’s such a wimp.”

I thought for a moment. “Now that you mention it…”

Knotting her brows, Sarah stopped, obviously irritated. “Still here.”

We reached the ticket booth, tugging at each other. The guy at the window stared at us.

“Any problem here, Miss?” the guys asked.

Before Sarah could answer, I slipped an arm behind her waist and tugged her closer to me. Now, she was too surprised to say anything. Just the effect I was hoping for.

I smiled at the guy. “Nope. No problem here. We just… went for a little swim and my girl’s not too happy about it.”

The guy shrugged-nodded.

“She doesn’t like it when her hair gets wet,” I sniggered under my breath, pretending like Sarah won’t hear as I took out my wallet to pay for our tickets. “It gets frizzy and all. You know, girls.”

The guy just stared blankly at me after handing us the passes.

Quickly, I towed Sarah and got into the first available ride. Ricky, Reed and Chuck had to squeeze into the next, which was a little too small for three fully-grown men. I could hear them fighting as we went up.

It took me a long minute to gather my thoughts. I didn’t know how to begin. I could feel a pulse at the sides of my neck. My hands were cold and shaking. Bile went up my throat. I’d never been fond of heights. But I was more afraid that if I didn’t speak now, I might never have another chance.

It was Sarah who first spoke. “This is stupid. I’m going.”

She started to loosen the safety bar. Her sudden movement made the cab swing to and fro. We were about twenty feet off the ground. She suddenly straightened. Her shaking hand suddenly clutched my arm.

I tried to smile, but the heavy feeling in my chest did not make it possible. “So this means… I can only keep you until the ride stops.”

She didn’t answer.

Our eyes met. It felt like a million years since I looked into those blue-gray eyes. And it just reminded me how much I missed her. All those years, all that hurt, all the things that happened were erased in a brief second. I guess, deep inside, I was still waiting for her.

One Ferris wheel ride was all I had.

My throat tightened. I clenched my teeth.

“You’re right,” I said nodding, unable to look at her. “This is stupid. Everything is so stupid. It’s stupid why I kept coming back here in the first place even when you keep dumping me. I even thought you died! Do you realize how that messed me up? Kidnapping you is stupid. It’s stupid that I’m risking my job, my reputation, my life for this. But you know what’s more stupid?”

Again, she didn’t answer. I didn’t think she would. She just looked at me with sorry eyes. And I hated every bit of it. It made me feel so pathetic. Still, I couldn’t imagine myself walking away from her. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

I let out a deep, shaky breath. “The stupidest thing is that, I’m ready to risk all I have just so I could have this ride with you. Even if it’s the last one I’ll ever have.”

The cab moved up and up until we were at the very top of the wheel. From there, the orange sky was picturesque. The sun was setting slowly and I knew that by the time it did, my time with Sarah might be over.

As the cab descended, I heard muffled sniff. The sniffs then turned to sobs and I realized they were coming from Sarah.

Her fingers tightened around my arm.

It was getting dark, but I could see tears roll from her cheek and fall to her lap. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn’t know how.

“If I say I want to hold you right now, would you let me?”

There was nothing but silence. I couldn’t stop myself anymore even if I knew she might get angry. I slid an arm around her nape and pulled her close to me. Her shoulders shook with every sob. For a moment, I forgot that my stomach was rolling.

“Can we please just… stay this way for a while? Just until the ride ends,” I whispered to her ear.

I tried to burn that moment in my memory. How warm her cheek was while it was pressed against the hollow of my neck. How her damp hair smelled faintly of green apples and seawater. How she shivered against my chest. How fast and loud my heart was beating. How I was over the moon and miserable at the same time.

She stopped crying eventually and when she did, she whispered, “Why?” so quietly, I barely heard it.

“Why, what?”

“Why do you still do this?” she croaked. “I’ve hurt you a dozen times.”

“I…” I fell into a deep thought. “I’m stupid. That’s why.”

Slowly, she lifted her head from my shoulder and wiped the tears at the back of her hand. “Then, that makes the two of us.”

I was laughing before knowing it.

Her eyes were questioning when she looked up at me.

“Becky said the exact same thing,” I told her.

A little smile pulled the side of her lips. Although, it didn’t reach her eyes. Quickly, she turned away and stared at the horizon.

“Maybe…” I started with a sigh. “Maybe because you’re the only girl who looked at me like I was normal. Like I was just any other average guy. Because you accepted me as me. Not because I’m Leon Walden.”

She kept looking at the view before us, I wasn’t sure if she was listening. A second later, I felt her hand slide over mine. She gave my hand a squeeze. And just like that, we spent the last minute of the ride. Not saying anything. Just holding hands.

Before it was our turn to get off the cab, she finally looked at me and said, “Know what? I think the Sarah who had amnesia loved you more than the Sarah before.”

“And… why is that?”

 “Because you were all she ever had.”

“And the Sarah now? How does she feel about me?”

Right away, she withdrew her hand, shaking her head gently.

“The Sarah now,” she mumbled blankly. “She’s just… remembering things. But it’s like… she wasn’t even there when it all happened. She’s just this walking sack of mess.”

I waited for her words to sink in. “We’re all messed up one way or the other. I think I can deal with—“

“Time’s up,” she said.

The ride stopped. Before I knew it, a guy was already loosening the safety bar.

Sarah jumped off the cab. Without a second look, she walked away.

It took me a few seconds to realize I had to get down. And when I did, I wasted half a minute staring vacantly at her back.

“That’s it?” I mumbled under my breath. “Is that it?!” I shouted at her.

Sarah stopped. People stared. I didn’t care.

“It’s not fair, Sarah.” I had to speak louder or else my voice would shake. “You’re not giving me enough time.”

She looked up, taking a long breath before facing me. Her eyes were misty again. “I—I don’t have much time… to give.”

I felt my brows furrow. “I don’t need much. I just… I just need—“

Sarah’s lips quivered when she cut me off. “You don’t understand.” Her voice cracked. “I… m-might not have much time to begin with."

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Author's notes:  Heya, pipz! Been a busy week. Expect 2 more chapters for this story. And please support my upcoming works. (31 Days to Die & The Villain's Assistant) So yeah. Vote and get a cookie :)

thanks a million,

shim