It's been kinda a while I'm driving no where with this blonde girl. She is only being silent and looking at the road hopelessly. She was smiling though, I thought she was happy or maybe she was just felt safe because I got her away from that place.

I actually don't know where to go, I somehow have a strong feeling that I shouldn't go home. I hate it. Home reminds me so much of blood, hates, cuts, scars and all the craps which I hate and which I don't want to have but somehow I still have them.

I also don't want to go to a hotel with that girl, I don't want to have sex with her or something I just don't want to be a jerk.

All these thoughts just make me so damn dizzy.

I stop driving by the side of the road, near a forest. This is so dark and no one is here. Only me and this blonde girl in the car.

I look away from her, I'm staring no where. I feel like each day I'm getting worse and worse. The more I try to fix my life the more trouble I get the more confusion surrounding me every time.

"Ugh.. what the fuck!!" I screamed as I punch my car window. I feel so messy and I feel my tears are coming out of both of my eyes, so I hide them as soon as possible from that blonde girl.

I feel a hand on one of my shoulders and it was warm and calming. "Don't cry.. you can use me once we get to wherever you want, um.. you don't have to pay more... it's ok.." she said with her voice. I can hear how scared and embarrassed she is by her voice.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not gonna have a sex with you." I said, and it definitely made her surprised.
"Just don't think about sex you wont have it tonight and I will give you money as much as you want later." I said and it made her pulls her hand away from me.

Ugh.. just what the hell did I do to her? She definitely feels as shit as I feel now. Crap, why everything I do keeps hurting anyone? Even if I only talk will still hurt at least someone.

The only thing is my mind now is that I should totally die right now. I can't stand my life anymore. I have enough of me and everything.

"Can you drive a car, Blondie?
"Yes, a bit but I don't have my license yet."
"It's okay, you're just gonna drive around 1 meter then it's done."
"What do you mean?"
"I will stand in front of the car and then hit me with this car as hard as you can. Make sure that I will die instantly!"
"What the hell??"

I open the door and I start to get up but she instantly grabs me by my arm which I cut last night.

"Ahh! Fuck! What did you do???" I screamed in pain and it made me fell down to my seat again.
"Why did you do that? That hurt as hell!" I said as I pull up the sleeve of my hoodie.

"I'm so sorry I didn't kn-" before she finished her words she instantly gasps while looking at my arm.

"What happened to you?"
"Complicated."
"Don't kill yourself!"
"Why?"
"Just don't! Now let's go somewhere, I will cure your cuts, okay? Please?
"Ok.."

She looks so worried all she is doing is looking at me worried the whole time. She looks so scared that I would die or something.

Anyways, I drive to the nearest hotel because my house is a total shit to me.

I put my car in front of the hotel and get out of it as I give the key to that "servant" or whatever I should call him so he will park my car.

I walk inside of the hotel, that blonde girl is only looking up and around and she definitely looks so surprised or something. I guess she kinda likes this place. At least that's the good thing.

"A room for two" I said to the repceptionist
She noods and gives me the bill and the key so I pay it instantly.

"Are we going to sleep here?" That blonde girl asked with her happy face. "Yeah." I answered.

That's weird how she changed her mood from scared to sad and now to happy.

We walk into our room and then I took a seat on the bed and she only looks around.

"Oh um anyways, I need to cure your cuts" she said as she takes a seat next to me. She started to grab some stuff out of her bag.

She got bandages and a tube of cream out. She starts to put it on my arm carefully and softly.

"There we go, and done." She said with a smile. Her emerald eyes and her freckles match perfectly with her hair she is so pretty when she smiles like that.. she is just like an angel.

"Uh, okay thanks, blondie."
"You're welcome and please don't call me that, call me Applejack or Aj." She said as she giggles.

"Oh okay."
"Yep." She said as she looks away awkwardly.

We are only sitting and being silent so I decided to break the silence.

"So.. Aj.. how did you become a slut?" I asked hesitately. She instantly looks down and staring at the floor.
"I'm.. I ain't a slut.." she said. Oh shit yes, I made her feel crappy. I am such a fucking jerk. I hate myself.

"I just started to do this kind of thing tonight, I have no choice. My little sister needs to pay for school and I need to help my granny because my brother is sick.. I have no parent.. it's okay if you think that I'm a slut.. at least I'm still virgin till now.." she said as she drops a lot of her tears on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry.."
"You don't have to.." she said as she gives me her fake smile. I hate myself even more

"Sorry, Applejack. I have to go for a while, you stay here don't worry I'll come back" I said as I got up and walk fast to the door and get out of the room.

I run out of the hotel and then I run and enter the forest it is so dark I can't see anything and the road is really slippery.

I keep running and running until I fall down and my head hit a huge rock.

I lay down on the ground feeling all the pain inside and out. I feel the tears on my face and I feel warm blood is coming out of my head.

I have to survive, if I keep laying here I could die. Well, I don't care if I die but what about that girl? She would get in trouble if I die, she probably would feel bad or something.

I start to get up and trying to find a way to escape this shit forest, but I can't see. Everything is so dark and blurry.

I keep walking until I see the light over there, it's probably the end of the forest.

I walk faster as I wipe the blood out of my head and yeah, I was right. It is the end of the forest now I'm back near the hotel and there is a bar across the road so I decided to buy some drink there.

I ordered 5 bottles of drink which contain really high alcohol in them. I have no idea what's they called and I don't give a damn.

The bar tender soon gives me my drink in a big paper bag I leave some money on the table and then I start to drink one by one.

I am totally losing my mind as I drink a lot of that shit. Thoughts about that blonde girl, about my mom, where the hell my dad is, how happy my "friends" when I'm gone and about where the hell Rarity is now are in my head. Feels like they are banging my head really hard.

Anyways, I know that I have to be back to the hotel as soon as possible. I take a look on the table and I see I already drank 3 bottles of that crap. No wonder why I feel so dizzy.

I walk to the window through those drunk people and walk to the hotel.

I feel so dizzy and weak I also feel like throwing up a lot this time.

I make my way fast to the hotel and to the front of my room.

I rang the bell and then Applejack open the door so I walk in.

"Where have you been?" She asked as I look how worried she is. I also feel so nauseous now.

"I was at th-" before I finished my talk I throw all of the shit out of my mouth and I hear Applejack was screaming and crying but everything starts to fade away as always when I get drunk and it is all black. I don't know what is happening and I don't know what will happen.