Today we live in a world were skinny girls think they're fat, where girls cut themselves in self pity and insecurity. We live in a world that lacks confidence. Girls are blind to their beauty because their eyes are only looking at their flaws. 

     Girls spill their insecurities to anybody willing to listen, family, friends, or desperate boys. They cry because they are lonely, they complain that they will never have a boyfriend, but do they know the only reason for that is because they don't try? They're so busy trying to convince themselves that they are ugly that they forget that boys are so easy to catch. 

     I avoid including myself with "girls" because I don't feel as though I fit in with the majority of the insecure female population. Unlike them, when I look at myself I feel confident and powerful.  The power comes from knowing that I can have whatever I want simply because of the way I look. I'm not being vain, I know that like every other human being I am not perfect. I have my flaws too, but it's my confidence that makes everyone else believe that I have achieved the impossible status of perfect. It's my confidence that makes girls sneer at me and boys fall to the knees as I walk by.

     Guys want a girl with confidence. They don't want to have to constantly remind their girlfriend that she is beautiful, they want her to already know. That's why my boyfriend Derek is a proud guy, because he has a girlfriend who knows she's pretty. It's also why he lies awake on restless nights, fearing that I leave him for somebody else because he knows that I can, because he's insecure about himself, although he'll never admit it. 

     He's right in a way. I may appear to be perfect, but I am a bitch and I admit to that. I flirt and I've cheated on him many times, but his insecurity and desire to keep a girl like me at his side blinds him from the truth. 

     Don't get me wrong, I do love my boyfriend and all, but I don't see myself wanting to be with him until I grow old and wrinkled; that's what important, right? I should want to marry him and be with him forever, but I don't. Our relationship is nothing but a waste of time because I know it's going to end someday, but I need it. Our relationship keeps my secret hidden. Our relationship keeps me safe from the consequence of it. Without Derek I'd be an open book, I need Derek.