kai o na hoku - ocean of stars

"I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow." Rhyme sighs, falling onto his back on the soft queen sized hotel bed.

Emerson can hardly believe it himself. In the past two weeks, he has been pressed, shaken, and practically remade into a different person. Or maybe this was him all along he just hadn't accepted it yet or didn't know how to get there.

The last few days have been spent on the beach mostly. Rosalind had announced that she was fresh out of cool places to go and that we should just get out there and experience the island for themselves but Emerson gets the feeling that she's avoiding him. It's probably for the best.

"Yeah it's been a crazy couple of weeks that's for sure." Isaac responds, picking his shirt up off of the top of his suitcase and throwing it over his shoulder. He's a few shades darker but he's not satisfied seeing as he's going back out in the sun with Gwen in just a few minutes. Not that they'll have much time seeing as the sun is setting. They invited Emerson but he politely declined.

"It's been an experience." Alex sighs, looking down at his phone with a frown, "By the way, Rosalind invited me to go back out with her to the reefs and she wants to know if any of you want to go?"

"Sure, I'm down." Rhyme grins, "Night swimming could be cool and maybe afterward she'll finally let me ride that sweet bike or her's." He practically begins drooling at the thought of the Harley.

"Cool, I'll let her know." Alex replies without much enthusiasm.

"What's up, man?" Emerson nudges him as he walks by, glancing over his shoulder out of curiosity.

"Rosalind. I keep thinking she wants to just hang out with me and get to know me without you guys around and then she goes and confuses me." He rolls his eyes, shoving the device into his pocket.

Emerson regards him with a puzzled expression. Is Rosalind leading him on? Or is that all just in Alex's head? Either way, if Rosalind has expressed some sort of interest in Alex, good for her. That doesn't bother Emerson in the least. What bothers him is the thought of her using Alex as some sort of rebound. However, Emerson doesn't want to make any assumptions so he leaves it be.

"Well it's probably better for Rhyme to be there so that you can have someone else there to gauge her behavior, right?" He tries to help him the see positive, "Plus Rosalind would be a great a friend or otherwise. If she's not interested and it's not going to work then don't press anything." Not that there even seems to be anything going on in the first place. He doesn't want to see his friend get hurt.

"You're probably right." Alex responds with a grin before nodding to Rhyme, "You all set to head out now?"

"Sure just let me grab my shorts." Rhyme rolls off of the bed and begins digging through his bag.

Once everyone has left the room, Emerson sits at the end of the bed with a large sigh. His eyes glide over to the suitcase where his clothes lay askew inside. With a chuckle, he recalls Alex's comment on the resemblance his suitcase had to a "Lunchable."

In some strange way, the sight represents the freedom he's found being here. With a small smile, he grabs a hoodie, a t-shirt and a pair of white cotton shorts and heads to the bathroom. After a short shower, he walks out of the room and down the hall. He hasn't really explored the building so he decides that, out of pure boredom, he's going to check out what's down in the lobby.

Smiling, he finds a pool table in the middle of a common room, tables with chairs taking up the rest of the space along with a few vending machines. Reaching for a cue stick, he rubs the very top with a block of chalk before adjusting the balls inside the triangle.

He plays for a while on his own before he feels someone's eyes on him and he immediately looks to the doorway where Claire leans against the doorframe. "Mind if I join you?"

Focusing on the ball at the end of the stick, he strikes it, watching a striped ball roll slowly onto the left corner pocket. "No I don't mind."

She wordlessly chooses her own cue and leans against it as she stands behind him. Turning around to face her, she looks up at him with a smile. "I'll be solids?" He nods at her suggestion before stepping to the side and gesturing for her to take a turn.

Lining up her shot, she strikes the ball but it rolls weakly passed her desired ball and hits the side of the felt table with a quiet thud. "Ugh." She mumbles to herself before turning to him, "Don't start." She holds up a finger earning a chuckle from him as he raises his hands in surrender.

"I wasn't going to." He laughs, "I think that was...an amazing shot."

"Now you're just lying." Her brown eyes roll as she steps away.

Emerson takes his turn and almost without effort makes the shot before standing up straight. Claire follows suit, mimicking his form and doing her best to line up to cue with the white and solid ball but, again, she misses. "I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow. It almost feels like we live here now in some weird way." He attempts to make conversation.

"I think I could do without eating another continental breakfast for a while but, other than that, it's been a pretty great trip." She smiles, sitting down in a nearby chair.

Crossing his arms, Emerson leans against the side of the table. "It has. But I admit, I am ready to go home. Hawaii is cool and all but I miss my bed."

"I bet. Your bed is really comfortable." She smiles, "Don't forget that I'm the one who helped pick it out."

"Oh yeah." He grins, "You were, weren't you?"

"You're welcome. By the way..." She begins, standing up and setting her stick back on the stand before stopping in front of him, "I have something I want to show you."

He raises a brow, "Okay. Let's go then."

⃒ " love is not a feeling. love is a choice. love is a commitment. love is unconditional. " ⃒

After following Claire outside of the hotel, across the street and down the beach, he catches up to her with a slight pant. "Hate to break it to you but I've already been to the beach one or two times." He chuckles as he stops next to her.

Claire rolls her brown eyes under the light of the street lamp, the moon high in the sky above them. "It's not the beach, you doofus. It's what's at the beach. Come on." Her small hand envelopes his before he's being pulled down onto the sand. "Look." She points at the ocean.

Emerson's eyes glide across the water, catching all of the lights from the far off fishing boats. The distant lights twinkle in the water, masquerading as stars among the surface of the deep. "Who knew boats could be so pretty." He states with a soft smile.

They both take a seat upon the sand, listening to the waves and watching the stars in the sky meet the stars in the sea.

"Hey, Claire?" Emerson speaks up.

"Hm?" She hums in reply, her knees tucked into her chest and her chin rested atop them.

Swallowing, he replies, "I just want to say thank you. For everything. For always being here for me and for always being the first person to tell me I'm being stupid." She laughs a little at this, "And for always knowing what will make me happy. I'm sorry that I can be a sucky friend and I promise I'm going to try harder to be what you need me to be."

"Emerson." Claire takes his hand, "I don't need you to try and be anything. You're already the best person I know. Please...don't change unless it's for the better, okay?"

"Okay." He responds lowly, feeling her hand in his. He hasn't thought a lot about Claire's feelings for him. It's been at the back of his mind but after Rosalind kissed him, all he could think about was how it was hurt Claire. But her amused reaction proved that it had the exact opposite effect.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks him quietly, releasing his hand gently as the wind coming off of the water to brush her short hair across her cheeks.

Emerson wonders whether he should share his thoughts or not. Then he remembers he's talking to Claire. They share everything. "Why did you find it so funny that Rosalind kissed me?"

Claire's jaw ticks slightly and she drops her gaze, shrugging slightly. "How else was I supposed to react? If I got angry, you would have felt bad when it wasn't your fault. If I cried, I would have felt embarrassed and weak. If I said nothing, you would have assumed I was upset with you. But if I laughed then it makes it easier on all of us. If I can think of it as something amusing then it doesn't hurt as much. That probably doesn't even make any sense." She laughs dryly, picking up a shell in the sand, running her fingers across the bumps and ridges as she speaks.

Emerson stares out at the moon, thin layers of clouds overlapping one another to hide most of the light it usually provides. "That's makes sense. For the record, she's a terrible kisser." He looks over at her with a small smirk.

Claire looks over at him with her mouth agape. Shoving him slightly, he chuckles. With a laugh she replies, "I admit, that's makes me feel a little better."

"Good." Emerson responds, feeling giddy on the inside. He can practically feel their special dynamic returning and growing even stronger than it was before. He didn't realize how much he missed it.

"One more thing."

"Anything." He tells her with a smile.

"Do you have feelings for Rosalind? Any feelings at all?" Claire looks him in the eye, almost daring him to tell a lie.

"No, I don't." As soon as he says it, it feels even more true than when he was just thinking it, "Rosalind is someone I would go on an adventure with. She's one of the most interesting people I've ever met and she's so intricate, I'll probably never figure her out...but she's not someone I would date or someone I could see myself spending forever with. She's a free spirit. I need someone dependable and solid." He answers honestly.

"So you were infatuated with her." She clarifies.

He presses his like together, considering this. "Yeah. I guess that's accurate. She's something I thought I wanted but we just don't fit together. Not like - " He stops himself, "Not like her and someone more suited to her lifestyle. I can deal with a hike here and there but I draw the line at riding on the back of a motorcycle forever." He hopes his joke covers up his near slip up.

Claire laughs, shaking her head. "Yeah we'll leave that to Rhyme."

He chuckles at this, nodding. "You know what? Rhyme and Rosalind. That has a nice ring to it." They both laugh as they lay back, falling against the soft sand.

He doesn't know how much time passes as they lie there, staring up at the stars. It feels like minutes but more realistically it's been a lot longer. They spend the time talking; reminiscing on old memories and dreaming about making new ones. Soon, Emerson's eyes grow heavy but he fights sleep, wishing he could stay here like this forever.

He thinks for a moment about his and Rosalind's conversation about the stars. He realizes that after experiencing so much change and, dare he say, freedom - it's not to hard to imagine a world where there's a God who would create dazzling gifts of light in the sky. Not as hard to imagine a love that great.

With his hands folded across his stomach, he glances over at Claire who lies at least a foot away from him. He notices her leggings and t-shirt, her hands holding her own bare arms tightly as the night grows cooler. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm fine." She replies, looking over at him.

When he sees her shiver, he sights, "That's bull. Come here." He gestures for her to scoot closer and her dark eyes flash a bit of wariness and hesitance. He gestures again, "Come on, I'm plenty warm enough for the both of us."

"You sure?" She asks slowly, scooting closer. "We could always go back."

"No I want to stay here a little while longer." He wants to make it last...just a little bit longer.

"Okay." Claire scoots just a little closer until she's near enough that he can wrap her in his warmth, his hoodie up over his head and his arms around her. Her head rests atop his chest and he silently wonders if she can hear his heart beating quickly. That leads him to wonder if her heart is beating just the same.

He feels her petite hand rest over his gently and suddenly she releases a breath and it almost feels as if she's sinking into him. Emerson's never been much of a physical touch kind of person. That may be why her closeness had this effect on him. Or maybe it's not.

"Em?"

"Yeah." He whispers as her small fingers push their way in between his.

"Please don't lead me on." Her voice sounds raw and vulnerable. So much so it almost hurts him physically to hear it.

Emerson pauses, feeling her body cradled against his, shielding her from everything outside of the two of them here together. "I won't."

"Promise?" Her voice is small but hopeful.

He smiles, kidding the top of her head. "I promise."

⃒ ‶ codependency is not love. "  ⃒

☆☆☆

hey it's me. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! the story isn't
over btw. just wanted to clarify that haha. please vote and comment! reading comments is probably
my favorite thing. thank you! much love, - lyss.