01 :: how to ruin friendships
presenting HTT's PREQUEL...
[ HOW TO BE HUMAN ]
a jikook oneshot.
in which the school's pretty boy player has everything he could ever want. everything except his best friend's love.
without a doubt, unrequited love is a hard blow
to park jimin's ego. but during the course of one summer, he quickly learns that there are some
lines that shouldn't be crossed without
facing serious consequences.
contains...
— smut, angst, fluff, & my dumb humor
— brief drug + alcohol usage, mentions of abuse
— mentions of homophobia, strong language
— mainly jikook, vmin, and some yoonmin
— semi-long chapters, flashbacks, no spoilers for htt
— the return of your favorites (htt jk, tae, & jimin)
[ CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE FIC
BUT PLEASE DONT PUT HTT SPOILERS ]
you ready?
all rights reserved.
onelasttae © 2021
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THE SUMMER OF 2008
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Jimin was lost.
He didn't know where he was at all, and at six years old, he thought he knew where to go, but as he passed by the slide five times (his mommy said he was a smart boy 'cuz he liked to count), he realized he wasn't going anywhere.
He was lost, and all he wanted was his mommy, but he was really far away from home. Maybe running away wasn't a good idea, but his papa was so mad at him, and papa was loud and throwing things.
He couldn't stay there anymore when papa was breaking things. He didn't want to see him angry either, so he escaped out the window in his playroom and made a run for it.
Or well, he tried to run. He kept tripping over his feet and hurting his knees on the pavement, but he ran far nonetheless.
He knew his mommy told him that running wasn't what big boys do, and that big boys faced the scary things with superpowers because they were strong and cool.
But Jimin wasn't so sure if he could be a big boy. He wanted to, of course, because his mommy said he could be one, but he was crying, snot and tears all over him. Big boys didn't cry.
And big boys didn't get hurt 'cuz they were strong, but Jimin was hurting, like a lot. A lot, a lot. His knees hurt, and his face hurt. He wanted it to stop, but he didn't know how so he cried.
Mommy. He wanted his mommy, but he kept going, circling the playground even though he didn't wanna stand anymore and looked around for her to see if she had found him by now.
But she wasn't here. He bunched the edge of his sweater in his tiny fingers, chest tight, glancing around the park for his mommy's blonde hair. He passed the slide again. Six. Seven.
"You! Yellow shirt!" His brows furrowed. He turned around at the voice, eyes widening realizing it was a small boy running to him.
Jimin stopped, freezing as the stranger approached him. He stared at him, biting his lip when he came to a stop. The boy stared back, placing his hands on his hip as he shook his hair out of his eyes.
He was the prettiest person he has ever seen.
That was his first thought before he realized that this was a stranger, but that didn't kick in until he was done staring at the boy. He was a bit taller than him, tanned, and his features were soft and gentle, kinda similar to a bunny the longer he looked.
But besides that, Jimin thought he was a little scary. His knees were all bruised up, and bunny bandaids were stuck over cuts. He wore black shorts, and a big white shirt. His hair was like a bowl, but what scared him was his frown.
When people frowned, they were either sad or mad, and Jimin didn't like that one bit. Papa frowned when he was mad, so what if the boy was mad too?
"Can you get it?" The boy asked, voice awfully loud— why was he shouting now? Jimin covered his ears, carefully stepping back, a bit scared.
"M'not gunna hurt you," The boy said, eyebrows knitting together. "I want my ball." He said, pointing at the white ball on the grass behind Jimin.
Jimin didn't know what to do. He blinked at him.
"Fine," The boy pouted, "M'Jeongguk. M'almost six. Can you please get my volleyball?" He pointed again at where it sat on the grass.
Jimin blinked again, following where Jeongguk's finger was pointing. He awkwardly bent down, biting his lip when his knees stung and grabbed the ball. He got back up, waddling over to Jeongguk and handed the ball over.
"Thanks— oh are you okay?" Jeongguk asked, now frowning after getting his ball back. "Your knees."
Jimin looked down at them, only to feel more tears roll down his cheeks when he saw how bloody they were. He raised his thumb to his mouth, biting down on the side of it.
"Shoot. Uh, my mama can help. She knows how to fix every ouchie," Jeongguk declared, pointing to his bunny band aids.
"Come with me, er— what's your name?"
"Diminie," Jimin hesitated before whispering softly. Jeongguk smiled at him, some of his teeth missing.
"I'll fix you Diminie," Jeongguk said, reaching over and taking his free hand in his. "C'mon. My mama can help you."
Jimin couldn't say anything because Jeongguk was already tugging him along, pulling him away from the slide and onto the grass. Wasn't this bad? To be with strangers? Mommy said it wasn't good. Oh no. W-Was he being a bad boy?
Mommy didn't like bad boys. She said bad boys didn't get kisses. Bad boys get in big trouble, and Papa was gonna get mad again. Jimin's bottom lip started to quiver, and soon enough he threw his head back and cried. Loudly.
Jeongguk stopped, eyes wide like saucers. He scratched the back of his head, face pale.
"Uh, shhhh Diminie," He blinked, letting go of his hand and patting his shoulder awkwardy. "It's okay Diminie. I'll fix your ouchies."
"F-fix my o-ouchies?" Jimin asked softly, sniffling loudly. Jeongguk nodded fast.
"Yeah! My mama will kith it," Jeongguk said, taking his hand back into his. Jimin cried harder. "Ok, jeez. She won't fix em then!"
"I want my mommy!" Jimin sobbed. "You're scary."
"M'scary?! What d'ya mean!?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm tryna make y'better. Gosh."
"Meaniehead."
At that, Jimin sobbed harder, getting the attention of a couple people at the park. Little Jeongguk winced.
"S-Stranger," He hiccuped, pointing at him as he continued to cry. "Y-you're a stranger. You c-called me m-meaniehead."
"You know my name!!" Jeongguk said, offended. "M'not a stranger— wait um, think of me as your pal!" Jimin rubbed at his eyes, frowning.
"Pals?" He asked. Jeongguk nodded eagerly, wide, missing tooth smile flashing at him.
"Pals. We can be pals!" He squeezed his hand, "See! It's okay Diminie. We're pals!! Not strangers!"
"P-Pals," Jimin repeatedly softly, sucking in an even breath. "B-But I don't know you." Jeongguk's smile fell.
"Okay, well I like volleyball," Jeongguk said, jutting his chin at the ball beneath his arm. "M'a be a seven foot tall volleyball god!"
"A god? B-But you're five," Jimin's brows furrowed. "And you're small."
"So? I wanna be the bestest volleyball player ever Diminie! M'gunna be on tv and m'a play in Japan!" Jeongguk declared, puffing his chest out, smirking.
"You can be my number one fan!" He gasped, shaking his hand wildly. When he realized he was being rough, he stopped and apologized before getting excited all over again.
"M'gunna be soooo good, and you'll be my fan! See! You know me now."
"O-okay," Jimin nodded after some thinking. He gave Jeongguk a small smile. The other stepped closer, letting go of his hand and brought his shirt up to rub his tears off his cheeks.
"There ya go. See, m'gunna help you! C'mon," The boy grinned, taking his hands in his once more and tugging him along.
"Let's see my mama! You'll love her!"
Jimin didn't know what to think about Jeongguk. He bounced a lot when he walked, and he wasn't quiet for any longer than ten seconds. He was rough too, but when he saw he was hurting him, he said sorry, bowed low, and then kissed Jimin's hand to fix his ouchies.
He was kinda weird, but Jimin forgot about his hurt knees around him. He even made him smile and his tummy flutter. Jeongguk kept making silly faces and speaking in funny voices, even getting a laugh out of him.
"Hey idiot!" A girl came running toward them once she spotted them. Jimin was laughing hard about this bunny impression Jeongguk showed him.
But the second she appeared, the smile slipped from his face. She was a big girl, bigger than Jeongguk and him. And she didn't look happy. Jimin instantly hid behind Jeongguk.
"Hyejung-noona, you're scaring Diminie," Jeongguk said, stepping in front of him, protecting him.
"Who?" Hyejung, the scary older girl, frowned after taking the ball from him. She glanced at Jimin, her eyes softening when she saw him tremble. "Oh. He's hurt, Ggukie."
"I know. M'a give him to mama," Jeongguk said, squeezing Jimin's hand. "I'll play later."
Hyejung nodded, shrugging before returning back to a taller older guy who must have been Jeongguk's dad. In awe, Jimin's eyes widened watching her toss the ball easily with just her fingers into the air.
"That's what my mama calls "setting" Diminie!" Jeongguk noticed he wasn't moving, instead he was watching Hyejung set. "Cool huh?" Jimin nodded.
"Mama said m'a better hitter 'cuz m'gunna grow into a strong boy," Jeongguk bragged, flexing his biceps and though there wasn't much, he smirked proudly. He then lifted Jimin's hand, unraveling their fingers so he could check his out.
"You have fat fingers," Jeongguk said, but before Jimin could figure out if he was being mean or not, the boy added.
"Maybe you can set to me when we're bigger!!"
"I dunno," Jimin whispered, watching the other take his hand in his.
"C-Can we try it after, Googie?"
"Yeah!" Jeongguk's eyes lit up. "Let's fix you, and I can show you, okay?" Jimin nodded timidly, and with that, they went to go find his mom.
After dealing with Jeongguk's mother, who looked slightly concerned that Jeongguk brought him to her, Jimin ended up with bandaids over his knees, kisses to every ouchie thanks to Jeongguk, and an icepack to put over his cheek.
Jeongguk's dad also came by, and they watched him talk with his mom about finding Jimin's parents. But after begging to play, they agreed to find them after.
Later, when Jeongguk's mom said it was okay, Jeongguk showed Jimin how to play some volleyball. He wasn't really good at first, but the boy never got mad at him like his papa did, and every time he dropped the ball, Jeongguk helped him adjust his arms.
"It's okay! I'll help you," Jeongguk wiped his tears off his cheeks with a wide smile after Jimin failed to pass the ball back again.
"I'm sorry Googie," Jimin sniffled, hanging his head, mad at himself for messing up. "I'm not good."
"Oh shush," Jeongguk said, "I sucked too, Diminie. You'll get it 'cuz you got me!"
"Really?" Jimin whispered, cheeks being pressed together as Jeongguk squished his chubby face.
"Really!" Jeongguk smiled, "We're gonna be best friends alright? 'Cuz you're my number one fan. You hafta see me become a hitter, and you hafta set to me."
"You promise me?" He suddenly stuck his pinkie out in front of him. Jimin stared between his pinkie and his face, a little confused.
"I promise," Jimin said quietly, hooking his pinkie around Jeongguk's. He found himself smiling shyly, a big contrast to Jeongguk's wide, nose scrunching smile.
"We'll be together forever," Jeongguk threw his arm over his shoulder, pulling him close. He ruffled his hair, laughing, even getting Jimin to giggle quietly to himself.
"I promise," He said, staring into his moon-shaped eyes with stars in his own. Stars that Jimin didn't know he would end up liking differently in a couple more years.
"We'll be best friends 'till the end, okay Diminie?" Jeongguk whispered, patting his back as Jimin smiled up at him, "I won't hurt you!"
❥❥❥
THE SUMMER OF 2013
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"You could have died!" Jimin nearly screamed, fingers shoving through his hair as Jeongguk sat on the curb, wincing while he examined his bloody knees.
"You're such an idiot Jeon Jeongguk. Gosh, I hate you," He groaned, running his hands down his face before joining his best friend on the concrete, worry in his big, moon-shaped eyes.
The two of them were in the middle of nowhere, or rather, they were in some random neighborhood far from either one of their homes. Why were they there? Well, it was a long story.
To put it in short, Jeongguk biked by not too long ago, wanting to play this new videogame he got. But when he found Jimin, he was curled into a ball crying his eyes out.
So of course, he gave him a big hug like the bestest friend he was, and while Jimin was sobbing, he said he wanted to go away far from his home. Jeongguk, again, being the bestest friend ever, managed to get him on his bike and pedaled the heck out of there.
He didn't have a destination in mind yet, seeing that he would come up with one later 'cuz his mom said he was a smart boy.
However, Jimin didn't realize what they were doing, and the second he did, he started to scream his head off that they were going to get kidnapped.
"We are not gonna get kidnapped! Shut up!! You're making it hard to pedal!" Jeongguk told him over his shoulder, struggling to control the bike handles.
"We're gonna die!!!!!!" Jimin threw his head back and sobbed, arms around Jeongguk's waist squeezing the air out of his lungs.
"Oh my god do you not have ears!?" Jeongguk grumbled, squeezing the handle bars tighter. "Quiet Chim, I won't let you die."
The only words Jimin heard were die, which (no surprise here) made him cry more.
But while Jeongguk tried to get him to calm down, they ended up going down a big hill, he lost control, hit a rock, and the two of them went sliding over the asphalt.
Now they were lost, Jeongguk was bleeding, and Jimin was still crying his eyes out. It wasn't exactly the best situation right now.
"No you don't," Jeongguk pointed out calmly, hissing as he carefully pulled out a small rock out from the gash. "You love me." He hissed.
"Not when you're being a big idiot!" Jimin cried out, gesturing at his current state. "You're bleeding! You're hurt! What am I gonna do?!"
"What happened to 'I'd rather be cool than dead'?"
"Sheesh, Chim, calm down," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, "I'm alive. My bike though," He snorted, jutting his chin over to the mess of trashed metal crashed on the side of the street.
Jimin's bottom lip trembled, gaze following to where Jeongguk was pointing at. The second he saw how badly ruined his bike was and remembered that this was Jeongguk's birthday present he had wanted for months, he sobbed. Harder.
"And it was 'I'd rather be dead than cool' but I like your version better," He said, snickering softly, though his laughter faded the second Jimin began to cry.
"Hey, I'm okay. My knees are just scratched up," He scooted closer to his friend, brows furrowed into a frown along with his lips.
"There's no need to cry, Chim. I'm fine."
"Scratched up?!" Jimin breathed shakily, eyes wide. "You're bleeding. You're not fine! A-And I ruined your bike! I-I broke it."
"I broke it," Jeongguk corrected, taking his friend's smaller hands in his, squeezing them.
"I was the one who said 'let's run away together' remember?"
"But I said yes," Jimin hiccuped, tears blurring his vision. "And I-I was crying. I-I keep crying and I got us hurt 'cuz I'm a big baby. I'm sorry Gguk. I-I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," He patted his hands, grip on them tightening, "Well, you do cry a lot, but that's just 'cuz you're cute. And tiny."
"Did you just call me a b-big baby too?" Jimin's chin trembled, more tears threatening to escape. At that, the younger's eyes widened.
He shook his head frantically, "No!! I just meant, you're crying 'cuz you're like me! You got a big heart Chim!"
"B-But you don't cry." You don't mess up like I do.
"That's 'cuz the Jeons don't cry. My dad said so," Jeongguk said, reaching up to wipe away his best friend's tears while his other held onto his hand, never letting go.
"You are not a Jeon," Jeongguk murmured, "but my mama said it's okay to cry when you're hurt. And you're hurt too." He said, running his tiny thumb over the bruise on his cheek.
"You have so many bruises Chim," The younger said, frowning a little when Jimin pulled away from his touch, his eyes pressed together shut.
"Is it your dad again?"
"N-No," Jimin lied softly, hanging his head, shoulders slumped. "I'm not hurt. Y-you're the one bleeding."
"Do I need to fight your dad? 'Cuz I can. I'm getting stronger and bigger don't you see?" Jeongguk tapped his shoulder. The older opened his eyes, sadly glancing over at him to see Jeongguk flexing his biceps at him.
"I'll fight anyone who hurts my Chim!"
"Stoooop," Jimin shoved him playfully, fighting the smile twitching on his mouth. His teeth sunk onto his bottom lip, though he still couldn't keep the edges from curling upwards as Jeongguk flexed.
"M'being serious," Jeongguk chuckled, throwing his arm around his friends shoulder. He let go of his hand, a smirk on his lips as he ruffled his hair.
"Whenever you're sad, I'll take it away, okay? I promise," He said, patting his head. Jimin tilted his head up at him to meet his gaze, blinking slowly when he was met with a bright bunny-toothed smile.
"You will?" He whispered, chest fluttering as Jeongguk nodded eagerly.
"One day Chim, I'm gonna run away with you for real! I'll make a big plan and we'll go to..," He went silent, practically bouncing up and down while he sat, waiting impatiently for Jimin's answer.
"We'll go to Disneyland," He mumbled, staring shyly at his lap as his cheeks flushed pink, warmth flooding his face.
"Disneyland! I'll take you to Disneyland! And we'll have fun! And we'll be together! Forever! And I will make you so so soooooo happy!" Jeongguk cheered, shaking Jimin out of sheer excitement.
"Don't cry anymore Jiminie," Jeongguk grinned goofily, squishing the older's face in his palms, making him meet his starry gaze. "I don't like it when you cry."
"'Cuz you're so much prettier when you smile."
Jimin's eyebrows eased, stomach doing all sorts of flips and twists when he realized what Jeongguk had said. He swalllowed, shock widening his eyes as his lips curved into an oval.
"You promise?" He asked, fiddling with his fingers on his lap. Jeongguk nodded again, the smile on his lips impossibly getting bigger.
"I promise!" He giggled, "Now c'mon, let's go to my place," He said, getting up to his feet, forgetting about his bloody knees.
Jeongguk laced his fingers with Jimin's, glancing at him over his shoulder as he began to run. It wasn't until they were running up the hill did Jimin begin to smile, forgetting the pain, for all that mattered was Jeongguk's bunny-toothed smile and the promise he made him.
It was there, while they threw their heads back and let out tummy-hurting laughs and bumped into one another with their fingers entangled between them, did he realize that Jeongguk meant a lot more to him than anything else in the world.
And there was no way he was going to ever let go of him. That was a promise he made himself, and surely, there would be nothing in the future that would ever tear them apart, right?
❥❥❥
THE SUMMER OF 2015
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"Today, my fellow brethren. My people I have been friends with since I was six and still eating play doh and shoving crayons up my nose," Namjoon stood up on the blankets they laid out, plastic red cup lifted toward the sky.
"We are becoming men," He declared, "We are graduating from middle school and entering the best four years of our lives: high school."
"Can you stop being so dramatic?" Yoongi grumbled, nose crinkling as he took another hesitant sip of the beer in his cup. "It's just school."
"I agree with Yoongi hyung. We're just going to a boarding school," Jeongguk said, tilting his cup toward Namjoon while his free arm was draped over Jimin's shoulder, leaning into him.
"Just school?" Namjoon gasped, "Bro, we're entering a whole new fucking world. Our parents won't be there. We'll be entering the highschool crowd!
"There's gonna be so many new things to try out!"
"You high or something?" Jimin snorted, resting his head on Jeongguk's shoulder. The younger turned toward him, the edge of his lip quirked upward. He smiled back at him, patting his best friend's chin.
"I wanna be," Namjoon confessed. The three other boys gave him looks, all bordering around the same are you friggin' crazy dude expression.
"By new things, you mean getting high," Yoongi raised a thin eyebrow at him. Namjoon nodded eagery. Jimin and Yoongi exchanged wary glances.
"And other things," Namjoon said, clearing his throat. "C'mon you guys. It's boarding school. None of our parents will be there to judge."
"Imagine all the shit we could do!"
"I dunno about you, but I'm only there to play volleyball," Jeongguk said, tilting his head back to down more of his drink, his nose crinkling slightly at the taste.
"I don't know where this is going," Jimin hummed, eyebrows slightly furrowing.
"It's going somewhere," Yoongi grumbled, downing the rest of his drink, earning a couple oohs from the other boys.
He had known the three of them ever since he was six, and surely, the crap coming out of Namjoon's mouth wasn't something he expected out of him.
Heck, he didn't even expect the four of them to be on the roof of Jeongguk's house, drinking smuggled beer that Yoongi of all people managed to sneak from his dad's liquor cabinent.
Yoongi wasn't a stealer. The guy followed every rule his strict parents put out for him. He didn't dare to even try anything new unless his parents thought it would be the best option for him. Certainly, drinking wouldn't be that.
On the otherhand there was Namjoon, who was a star student and the president of their school. The guy literally adored gardening and reading books that questioned the whole universe. The craziest thing he did was steal a piece of free candy from his neighbor who offered it.
He couldn't imagine him even looking at a girl or doing bad shit.
It just wasn't in them to do those things.
But when it came to Jeongguk, he knew he only did it because they were his best friends. He agreed to literally anything, even though Jimin told him it was okay if he didn't want to come up here.
Before Namjoon and Yoongi came, Jeongguk pulled him aside and grabbed him by the shoulders, looking down at him with one of those stupid crooked grins that Jimin found himself always irritated by but at the same time always feeling warm looking at.
"We should do this," He told him, squeezing his shoulder. Jimin, however wasn't convinced. "We won't do anything bad. It's just a few drinks."
"You sure?" Jimin rubbed the side of his arm, staring into those doe eyes of his that seemed to twinkle no matter his mood.
"I don't want to do anything bad, you know how my parents are." He whispered softly, stomach dropping when Jeongguk's smile faltered around the edges.
"It's not gonna be bad," Jeongguk assured him. "It's just drinking. We'll never do anything bad, okay?"
And that was how they ended up on Jeongguk's roof.
"Why did you want us up here anyways?" Jeongguk asked, setting his cup down beside him, pulling Jimin closer to him, unaware of the way the older's heart raced at the mindless gesture.
"I wanted us to experience the best part of high school together," Namjoon shrugged, bringing the rim of his cup to his lips. "I wanna spend the best four years of my life with you guys."
"You didn't have to bring us up to a roof," Yoongi snorted, crossing his legs over one another, leaning back as he propped his arm up to support himself.
"Just wait," Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I gathered all of us here to make a promise."
"Ooh a promise— ah I'm sorry I'll shut up," Yoongi flinched, shying away from Namjoom who was ready to throw an empty beer can at him.
"What kind of promise is it?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him, not exactly liking the heaviness poking at his gut all of a sudden.
"If we're gonna have the same experience, we gotta have a to-do list," Namjoon flashed him a dimpled grin. "A to-do list of all the shit we're gonna do."
"And what's that?" Jeongguk asked, curiousity sparkling in his eyes. Namjoon held a finger up and fished for something in his shorts pocket. He took a moment, and when he found it, he unfolded it and handed it to Jimin.
There, in his perfect student handwriting was the title: Things to Do With The Forever Homies.
1. Get drunk at a party
2. Have sex!!!!!!
3. Get high as fuckkkkkk
4. Do something illegal ;D
5. Get girlfriends (no gay shit)
"You're joking," Jeongguk glanced up at him, staring between the other boys, noticing how all of them tensed beside him, especially Jimin. "Is this your GTA list?"
"What? No!" Namjoon's brows furrowed. "I mean it. I googled all the shit on how to make your high school experience worth it."
"Y'know Yoongi and I are athletes right?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrown at him. He turned to Jimin, noticing how he hadn't said a word. Jeongguk tried to squeeze his shoulder, but instead, Jimin removed his arm off of him, features pale.
"Do it on your off season," Namjoon shrugged.
"What makes you think we're gonna do all of this?" Yoongi asked, looking up at him. Again, Namjoon shrugged.
"'Cuz we will," Namjoon said in a matter of fact way. "We're all friends. We promised to do shit together."
"Not this kind of shit," Jimin said, suddenly feeling dizzy when all three of the others' gazes fell on him. He swallowed uneasily, putting the list down on his lap.
"What about our parents?" Jimin asked, gesturing at them. "Y'know how Yoongi and I have those type of parents. They won't allow this. They will find out."
"They won't even know," Namjoon corrected. "They won't know in boarding school, Chim. You'll be fine. You need some fun anyways. You're uptight as fuck."
"Ouch?" Jimin's brows furrowed, "I'm not gonna do this, Joon. T-This is stupid."
"You're just saying that. I know you don't like your parents," Namjoon snorted, missing the way Jimin's expression fell, his jaw clenching.
"Think of this like some big fuck you."
"I'm in," Yoongi blurted out. Jimin whipped his head toward the older, brows knitted together. "What? He's right. It is like a big fuck you."
"Your dad won't like that at all! Jeongguk, your mom wouldn't like this either," Jimin said, pointing at the list, feeling his nerves prickle beneath his skin. "This isn't right!"
"Jimin, don't be a baby," Namjoon rolled his eyes. At that, his stomach dropped.
"What did you just call me?" Jimin whispered, meeting the older's eyes.
"We're not ten anymore, dude," Namjoon said, gesturing around at them. "We're going into high school. If you're not ready for it, then go do boring shit with the other lame people."
"I never said I wasn't going to do it," He murmured, freezing. He turned toward Jeongguk, silently begging him for him to say something, but even the younger didn't know what to do.
"It's either you're in or not," Namjoon shrugged, leaning down to grab another beer can. Jimin watched, jaw tight and shoulders trembling as the older cracked open the can.
"You in Jeongguk?" Namjoon asked, glancing over at him. Jimin swallowed, hoping Jeongguk would say no to this. He had to say no— this wasn't right. This wasn't something they should be doing.
"I don't see what's wrong with it if you do it once," Jeongguk said after some time. Jimin swore the air was knocked right out of his lungs. What?
Jimin averted his gaze to his lap, knowing they were all waiting for his answer, but he just couldn't bring himself to say anything with this invisible weight pressing down on him.
He knew if he did this, he could get into some big trouble. This wasn't right, it wasn't what his mother taught him. He was supposed to be a good kid and focus on school, on volleyball, and on the piano like his mom said.
If he did this, he would be throwing away everything his mother set up for him. God, he could already imagine the anger in his father's eyes, the look of shame and disappointment on his mother's usual pleasant features if they were to ever catch him.
But at the same time, there was this part of him that wanted to say yes. He wasn't sure if it was because his friends were staring at him, waiting for the same answer, and the lingering threat that if he didn't say yes, he would lose his only friends.
Or it could have been the little spark of rebellion that seemed appealing while he thought about it. His parents arranged his entire life for him; he made no choices about what he wanted.
And as much as he had the fear of losing it all, this would be the only time in his life he could make a choice. A choice made all on his own with no parent to order him around.
And maybe, it could be a fuck you to his dad. Maybe not his mom, but somehow, spiting his father sounded fun, thrilling, even.
"You only have to do it once, Chim," Jeongguk's voice broke him away from his thoughts. He whipped his head up to see him smiling that crooked smile of his, silently assuring him it was okay.
God, he didn't know what to do. Whatever he chose, he would everything. He hated this, as his mind began to spin, the twist in his stomach nauseating.
But he eventually nodded, holding his hand out for the beer in Namjoon's hand.
"I'll do it," Jimin said, finally flooded with relief when Namjoon gave him the can, the older's lips curling into a dimpled smirk.
He threw his head back and drank, chugging the beer can despite the urge to gag pressing against his throat. It burned, but he willed himself not to tear up as the bitter liquid filled him with warmth.
When he was done, he set the can on the ground, forcing a clumsy smile on his lips as his friends exchanged rather impressed looks.
"You won't regret it," Namjoon hummed, crossing his arm over his chest while he outstretched a hand, holding it up in a toast.
"To being forever homies," He declared loudly, cheering toward the sunset. "Nothing will ever break us apart!"
"To being forever homies," Jimin said along with Jeongguk and Yoongi, the alcohol he consumed making his entire body buzz with this new fuzzy excitement.
"Friends forever?" Jeongguk leaned close, whispering in his ear as Yoongi and Namjoon went on, discussing about illegal things they could do.
"Friends forever," Jimin nodded, a lazy smile finding its way to his lips as he drank more beer. He quickly turned his head to the side, not expecting to bump his nose against Jeongguk's.
Holy shit, he thought, blinking rapidly realizing how close they were. Jeongguk's eyes were wide, and up close, Jimin wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, but his face felt hotter than usual being around Jeongguk.
And woah, was he always this good looking? He blinked again, trying to gain control of his heart that suddenly began to rock in his chest.
"Don't be weird Jimin," Jeongguk said, snapping him out of his thoughts. Jimin froze, realizing that the younger was already pulling away.
"Right," Jimin said, clearing his throat as he stared down at his can. Weird, that was just weird.
He drank some more, trying to listen in to their conversations about girls, alcohol, and all kinds of things he couldn't be bothered listening to.
Because as he sat there, genuinely confused about why he called his best friend good-looking, he wondered if this was the right decision.
But when he saw the way his friends smiled wide, laughing at one another as they continued to drink the beer Yoongi stole, he realized that this might have been the right decision after all.
They would stay together as friends, forever, like they promised. If this was what he had to do, he would do it.
As long as he wouldn't lose Jeongguk as well, this had to be the right decision. Right?
❥❥❥
THE SUMMER BEFORE
•
•
•
Park Jimin never found boys pretty until he met Jeon Jeongguk.
Sure, he kissed a few and fooled around here and there when the liquor he consumed fucked up his thought processes, but that was different. Jeon Jeongguk was different. He didn't need a stimulant or some shitty excuse to find him pretty.
Jeon Jeongguk was gorgeous— high, drunk, or sober.
God, he found him fucking beautiful, even now in the dim-lit, stuffy living room of Namjoon's house. Sweat drenched bodies were packed together and grinded to the deafening blare of trap that made his brain convulse within his skull.
His eyes were closed, pressed-tight as he tried to fall away into the liquor inside of him, hips swaying to the beat while his ass pressed into Jeongguk, who was behind him. He threw his head back to down another bottle of beer— their fifth one tonight amongst other drinks he couldn't name.
Jeongguk's hand found purchase on the side of his waist, nails applying a lingering pressure when Jimin's ass brushed right over his crotch.
It wasn't typical, this close proximity of their's, only being unlocked when both were too wasted to realize friends shouldn't be touching like this.
But none of that mattered. Nothing else mattered but the way Jimin's heartbeat thrashed in his ears, Jeongguk's hand gripping him tight, and the heavy presence of Jeongguk's body behind his own.
Nothing else mattered because tonight was one of those nights.
Tonight was one of those evenings were they got shit faced and so high they were basically astral projecting into another dimension.
These nights were held to let loose, or rather, simply unwind from the stresses through the ironic magnificence of self-destruction.
Here, Jimin didn't have to think at all. Not about life. About school. All he focused on was the ravaging beat, Jeongguk's addicting warmth behind him, the friction of their clothes, and making sure nobody touched his cup.
"Don't," Jeongguk suddenly growled into his ear, lips brushing over the shell of his ear as his word slurred off his tongue.
"Don't what?" Jimin tilted his head to the aside, lips quirking upward when he felt Jeongguk's fingers dig harder into his waist, the touch fleeting, stinging.
"Grind on me," Jeongguk said like it was obvious. He groaned lowly, sound humming in his throat when the older pressed against him teasingly.
"I hate teases," He slurred, running his thumb over his hip, and hooked on his chin on his shoulder.
"I know you do," Jimin chuckled, laughter soft and bubbly as he brought the rim of his cup to his lip, brows furrowing at the burn of dry vodka down his throat.
"But we've been friends since we were six."
"So? Get off my dick," Jeongguk pinched his side. The older felt a ghost of a smirk on his jaw as he writhed to the side, yelping at the ticklish pinch.
"What're you gonna do about it if I don't?" He tipped his drink again, veins on fucking fire with every drop of vodka he soaked up. Jeongguk hummed when his body pushed against his.
"Fuck you," He mumbled raspily, rolling his eyes at the way laughter scrunched Jimin's soft features together, his body shuddering as he felt Jeongguk chug more of his drink.
He took the chance to spin around and face the younger, eyes hooded and heavy along his tongue which he dragged over his dried lips. He grinned, hand reaching toward Jeongguk's and guiding his calloused palm back to his hip.
"We shouldn't be drinking," Jeongguk grumbled, body slowing down along with Jimin's to a steady sway despite the others around them, who were grinding like there was no tomorrow.
"We have a volleyball game tomorrow."
"And so?" Jimin asked, tilting his head up ajd lifting an eyebrow at him. He stepped forward, breath hitching in his throat when their chests pressed together, rapid heartbeats in sync.
"Can't be hungover," The words that leave his lips didn't quite match the way he continued to drink from his bottle, smirking as Jimin rolled his eyes at him.
"My fucking liver is quivering. I can feel 'em vibing, hyung." At that, he lifted an eyebrow at him.
"If I die, then well shit. I died 'cuz my liver vibed too hard."
"You're not gonna die," Jimin rolled his eyes again; a common thing around Jeongguk and his literal inability to filter himself.
"Yeah I am. Alcohol poisoning. Gonna get my stomach pumped. It sounds hella kinky," Jeongguk tipped his beer bottle at him. "But I am not a kinky guy."
"Getting your stomach pumped is for losers."
"And you're not a loser?" He always admired how open Jeongguk was about his sexuality, about what he wanted. The boy didn't give a damn about what others thought of him; he did as he pleased.
And by that, he came out to the whole student body without a single fuck given. That was Jeon Jeongguk for you. If only Jimin, or rather, others could have it that easy.
"Nope," Jeongguk slurred, shaking his head to the beat, "I don't take it up the ass. Stomach pumping is for dick-takers. M'no dick-taker."
"I'm a dick-giver." He was a what now?
"I donate my dick to the needy, hyung. Free charity, that's what I call my willy," Jeongguk declared.
"You're drunk," Jimin chuckled, gazing up into the younger's hooded eyes. Jeongguk snorted.
"M'not drunk, just a concerned dick-giver and nice guy," He rambled, "I don't wanna get my stomach pumped. Or die because my liver vibed too hard. That's pretty stupid."
"Well jeez, if you're so worried," With his free hand, he trailed his finger down the younger's chest, lips fluttering upward into the prettiest of smiles as he flicked the bottom of Jeongguk's chin.
He got on his tiptoes, the ghost of his smile caressing Jeongguk's ear, hand innocenty placed over his firm chest. The younger squeezed his hip.
"Then let's ditch this shit hole."
"Sure," Jeongguk shrugged, letting go of the older, unaware of the way Jimin's chest swelled. "Let's go find Joon. Think he's in the den." He deflated.
It wasn't exactly what Jimin wanted, or well, he didn't know what he wanted— he was fucking drunk off his ass. He merely nodded, giggling to nothing in particular as Jeongguk slipped his hand into his to get him out of the crowd.
It always mesmerized him how bigger Jeongguk's hand was up to this day and how rough it felt enveloping his own. Even then, while his mind was spinning and his limbs were like air, Jimin couldn't help but notice these little things.
These little things like the way Jeongguk's hand seemed to fit his imperfectly, or how he found himself licking his lips watching the muscles on Jeongguk's back ripple with every step beneath that god-forbidden tight black tee caught his attention.
It was bad, maybe, to be staring at his friend like this. Especially since Jeongguk was his best friend: the boy he knew ever since they were little awkward kids with big dreams and naive hopes.
Childhood friends also didn't thirst over each other. They certainly did not imagine how their hands fit with one another, or visualize each other's hard muscular forms beneath frustratingly tight clothes that always seemed to get in the way of spiking hormonal reactions.
And there was also the fact supposedly straight guys shouldn't find other boys fuckable.
But it was Jeongguk— the guy was extremely hot and enticing in every way you could dream of. Every girl and boy at their school wanted a taste of him, wanted to experience what Jeon Jeongguk could offer them.
Everyone envied him. Girls and guys fantasized about tying him down (Jeongguk was known to have quite the body count. No shame to his game).
What were Jimin thoughts? Well, he didn't know, but he was curious just like the rest about seeing Jeongguk in that way. He already had him as his best friend, but of course, curiosity wasn't easy to kill.
Curiosity was a dangerous thing. Jimin, however, wasn't one to dwell on what was dangerous or not.
This really could have been the alcohol talking. He didn't think about this sober, but hey, he was doing this right now and he didn't really give a fuck!
Jeongguk brought them to the den in the basement. There wasn't a lot of people, for they preferred the upper living room level and the backyard. Plus the space reeked of weed, the fog of smoke prickling Jimin's eyes the second they got down the stairs.
Namjoon and Yoongi were there along with a couple other people, chatting amongst themselves. Here, the floor was calmer, for the music was something from Namjoon's indie playlist and the conversations were subdued in a haze of insobriety.
When they approached them, they were met with a couple nods and shit-faced grins. Jimin crashed down on one of the empty couches with Jeongguk beside him after chasing out a couple sucking eachother's faces off.
"You're fucked already," Jimin commented, glancing over at Namjoon, who was smoking out of a bong he balanced on his lap alongside his beer bottle.
"So are you. Before you call me out, I'll let you know that's some hypocrisy right there," Namjoon said after languidly exhaling a cloud of smoke into the space in front of him, smiling lazily.
Jimin turned his attention toward Yoongi, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa, arms crossed, but there between his fingers was a juul pen. He was quiet, and when their eyes met, Yoongi shrugged and brought the pen to his lips, inhaling a drag.
Jimin rolled his eyes, facing away from him and his full-black ensemble. He could feel Min Yoongi's narrowed stare on him, but he chose to ignore him.
"So this is what you guys were doing?" Jeongguk snorted, draping his arm behind Jimin over the couch while he crossed his leg over the other.
"Can you tell me, are your lungs quivering too?"
"Quivering?" Namjoon asked, passing the bong to one of the guys on the ground. If Jimin squinted, he could see his eyes were already heavy, drooping, and bloodshot.
That was a thing about Namjoon— he enjoyed getting high like this: red eyes, loopy laughter, and no fucks given. Even though the food cravings were insane and getting off was a shit show, Namjoon was probably on cloud-nine right now.
He was always on cloud-nine. He couldn't really remember the last time Namjoon was 100% sober.
"Y'know I don't smoke, Joon. Personal reasons. But anyways can I ask, are your lungs vibrating? And if so, do you care that you may die by the vibration?" Jeongguk sipped from his drink, somehow genuinely interested.
"I don't think they're quivering," Namjoon shrugged, bringing the rim of his beer can to his lips. "I dunno. I've been smoking since we got outta that place, cut me some slack."
"Lung cancer greets you," Jeongguk chuckled, dodging the pillow Namjoon chucked in his direction.
"Can someone shut him the fuck up?" Namjoon flipped him off.
"It's Jeongguk," Yoongi hummed. "You can't shut him up."
"At least we tried," Namjoon shrugged.
"I'm literally right here," Jeongguk waved at the both of them, a scowl fitting over his pretty lips. "C'mon, are we gonna do something? We came down here, 'cuz upstairs was boring."
"Boring you say?" Namjoon raised an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk nodded eagerly. "You guys up for a game then?"
"What game?" Jimin asked, taking the bottle one of the guys on the ground handed him. He peered down the neck, eyebrows furrowing when he was met with the putrid, nose-stinging stench of vodka.
Didn't hurt to drink some, his brain measly thought. He tilted his head back, cracking open his jaw to chug the remaining droplets. Sure, it was only a little, but his tongue burned, the liquid roughing up the walls of his throat. Jimin was never fond of drinking hard liquor, and yet, he did it anyway for the cheap thrill.
"Gather some people and we can play some truth or dare," Namjoon's words were already fuzzy in his mind.
"That's a stupid game," Jeongguk said but he was already getting up, leaving Jimin behind.
"Then why are you getting up?" Yoongi asked.
"Because if we don't do something, I might die of boredom," Jeongguk rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. Well, it should be, but he doubted anyone here was able to comprehend that.
Jeongguk wasn't gone for too long. After some time, Jimin noticed there was a small group of people behind him. There were some familiar faces off the volleyball team and some pretty girls from their school. They joined them on the couch, their limbs tangling with Jeongguk's and Jimin's as their bubbly laughter and manicured fingers brushed across their jaws.
Jimin didn't pay too much attention. He was busy staring at Jeongguk through heavy eyelids, his lips pressed into a firm line as the girl on Jeongguk's lap held onto his jaw and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. His gaze lingered on Jeongguk's hand, his mouth running dry as he held onto her waist.
Jeongguk was serious about the whole "no dating" business, so serious that he never stayed with the same person once. Jimin knew that, but it was pretty funny how yearning for someone ignored every rule, every boundary a person could set.
It happened nonetheless and picked at his brain: wanting something he couldn't have. It was easy to repress for now, but in his drunken state, it proved to be difficult to ignore how "want" transformed his heartrate into this incessant throbbing mess.
"Park. Hey, Park. Park Jimin!"
He whipped his head toward the dull voice calling out to him. It was Namjoon. Not really a surprise there, but he was pointing at him again with that ridiculous fucking bong in his hands.
Note to self— for anyone who asked what to give Namjoon for his birthday, Jimin would beg them not to add to his friend's horrendous bong collection.
"Truth or dare?"
God, not this game. What were they, ten?
"Why should I answer?" Jimin drawled, running the rim of his bottle against his plush bottom lip.
"Just answer," Namjoon retorted with a scoff.
He glanced again over at Jeongguk, but he was visibly preoccupied. Just like he expected, he was making out with the girl on his lap, his palm cupping her ass and his other hand cradling his drink against the small dip of her back. Jimin's nose crinkled, his lips fluttering into a mild sneer.
"Dare." Jimin wasn't thinking. He never managed a single, proper thought when he was in this state of pathetic, temporary bliss.
He wasn't thinking of the others in the room while he stared at Jeongguk and the girl getting it on like rabid bunnies in heat.
He wasn't thinking of Namjoon's reaction, knowing how his best friend enjoyed fucking things up on purpose. Whether he was a plain idiot or a sadist in the making, Namjoon was a designated catalyst for trouble.
Jimin hated how his stomach twisted and turned, unsure if his gut wrenching was the fact he was disgusted by his unapologetic voyeurism or the fact Jeongguk wasn't focused. He should be focused, regardless if he was drunk.
Focused on what? He didn't know the answer.
And he certainly didn't know the answer to Namjoon's response, who also gave him quite a mischievous, low chuckle.
"Since we all know where your head's at, why don't I do you a little favor"
Jimin whipped his head toward him, eyes wide, cheeks a little flushed and it wasn't because of the alcohol thrashing through his veins or the fact Jeongguk wasn't listening and he was already getting up to go fuck her somewhere private.
"A favor?" Jimin murmured dryly. God, he uust wished Namjoon would stop being such a little attention whore with that suspenseful smirk of his.
"You know what I'm talking about, and you know where they're going," Namjoon said, a dark glint in his narrowed gaze before adding— "Jeongguk, stay. Listen to this."
And he did. Of course Jeongguk listened, and he stopped like a goddamn deer in headlights.
This was going to be bad. Jimin just knew—
"—I dare you to watch them fuck."
❥❥❥
SURPRISE !!!
christmas came a little early (:
i literally had this sitting around
for a bit in my drafts for a YEAR now.
crazy right? i never knew how to finish
it, nor did i know how to continue it
but i've came to a funky point in my life
where i'm in need of some good laughs &
good times, so revisiting the beloved HTT
universe was the way to go, especially since we've all missed them im sure! recently,
HTT also hit 2 mil, so think of this as a
huge thank you for all your support !
much love to all of you guys, and
hopefully this will be a fun revival
of HTT (: if you have any burning
questions, feel free to ask. note, this
will be a shorter book since it is
a prequel to the original.
💛 mela
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