(8) What Part of Human Don't You Understand?

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We were in the bathroom again.

                  The boys bathroom.

                  Whatever had died in there before and ate itself and such, was rotting so bad that I debated whether to stick my nose into Mr. Teachers cologne-smelling shirt and try to act as casual as possible about it.

                  To bad I couldn't. I couldn't because I was starting to become a crispy French fry under Sin's scolding hot, angry gaze.

                  "Do you believe what she said to you?" Sin asked, locking the bathroom door. "What Grace said to you?"

                  I had to throw a hand over my mouth to prevent myself from laughing. "Grace? That's Blondie's name? Grace? Oh my god, I don't think I can this much irony. Grace? Really?" I wiped a tear from my eye, ending my laughter. "Yes, I believe every single word that she said to me."

                  He paused for the longest time, looking at me as if I had a thousand heads. "And you're not freaking out?"

                  I raised an eyebrow at him. "No, not really. I'm pretty selective in what I freak out about. You guys did look straight out of Barbie's Pale Dream House and Teen Wolf, and I could have sworn I saw this guy sucking on this girls neck this morning lik ea slurpie. Talk about obvious. Why-- should I be freaking out? Because the last time I freaked out about something Pluto was shunned from our solar system, Prince turned himself into a symbol, and an Ape at the zoo randomly turned into King Kong."

                  "What Grace said to you in class, you have to keep it all to yourself. You can't tell anyone, Pepper. Promise me."

                  "So that means it's all true?"

                  "No."

                  "No as in yes but I can't say no, or no as in no?"

                  He wiped a hand down his face. "Pepper...I'm not allowed to talk about this. I'm already going to be in enough trouble as it is--"

                  We both whipped around as a hand crashed straight through the bathroom door, ripped the lock off, and the door slammed open, hitting the wall with a hard crack. The door fell off its hinges, crashing forward as our new bathroom friend walked past it.

                  And just like that, my life was turned completely upside down, shook like a rattle, and drop kicked off a cliff, when a guy strolled leisurely into the bathroom with short black hair, mirror aviators, and a tight black t-shirt and leather pants, looked right in my direction. "It reeks of human girl in here and piss," he said.

                  I turned to Sin. "And this is...?"

                  "The bad, sexy brother that doesn't give a care." Black Hair then slowly took off his sunglasses, revealing a face identical to Sin's but with clouded blue eyes, 

He was blind.

                  Sin 2 tossed the bathroom lock in his hand and splintered wood to the side, then turned his head to Sin 1. "Baby brother... by one minute and forty-five seconds, it's been too long. In case you were trying to reach out to me, which you weren't because I banged your ex girlfriend and then killed her,  I threw that thing into a river. Not the girlfriend. That one I just kinda...left to rot. I got a little lazy. Siri is what I  threw in the river. What a thriving bitch she is. I'm changing to Droid. That little green robot amuses me more than a stupid apple anyways."

                  "I think you should add a little color to your closet," I blurted, criticizing his outfit. "Black on black on black on black combat boots? I'm as unfashionable as it gets, don't get me wrong, but isn't this much black excessive?"

                 Blind Hottie pulled at his t-shirt. "I'm wearing a black outfit?" 

                  Sarcasm, I liked him already. "Was that a blind joke?"

                  "Maybe. Is this the human that's causing so much trouble?" Blind Hottie looked briefly at Sin for an answer, then tilted his head at me. "If not, I just really had to use the bathroom, sweetheart. Small bladder, steroid strength. Too stupid to open a door normally. Don't mind me."

                  "What are you doing here, Hunter," Sin snapped, stepping between his twin and I. His twin! I felt like I was in a really twisted dirty movie. "This isn't your side of town," he added.

                  "I'm here because you haven't scared off the human family like you were supposed to. I gave you two weeks before I stepped in, your time is up. Big Bad Wolf is here to save the day because his brother is wimp, as usual."

                  Hysterically laughing, I turned to Sin and saluted him. "Alright, I'm out. You guys are a couple of loons. I think I'm just seeing double or something. I'm moving to Canada or Britain or somewhere that has a younger drinking age, because this school is too ridiculous for me and if I don't go to high school I should just be an alcoholic and watch television all day because it just seems like the proper thing to do." When both men opened their mouths to speak, I put my hands up to silence them. "I don't want to know, I don't care, and most importantly...I don't give a flying potato. So both of you better get out of my way."

                  Hunter shooed me away from the exit. "I don't think so, Paprika."

                  "Ok, ok, I see how it is, tough guy." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Do you want your balls sunny side up or scrambled? Because I'm about to crack them like you wouldn't believe."

                  "Bow-wow," Hunter said, stepping entirely in my way. When I tried to knee him in the groin, he easily blocked it and shoved me into Sin's chest. "She's feisty and  brunette. Are you going to share this one, Sinny? Or do we have to do rock, paper, scissors again. I'll probably end up banging her anyways because I have the motorcycle and all. Plus I'm handicapped. Chicks dig the blind touch."

                  He winked at me.

                  "You and Sinny can both share each other for all I care. And yes, that was a twin-on-twin sexual reference that was inappropriate because I barely know either of you. As I said moments before, I'm leaving. Adios, perros. That's Spanish for good-bye, dogs." I tried to move around Hunter and he blocked my path again. "Get out of my way, Stevie Wonder."

                  Raising a dark eyebrow at his brother, Hunter barked out a laugh, grabbed me by the front of the shirt, and slammed my back against the tiled wall of the bathroom. My head hit the wall so hard that black splotches danced wildly in front of my vision and I bit right down on my lip.

                  "What did you just call me?"

                  Ok, so short tempers ran in the family apparently.

                  "Stevie"--I coughed a little as he snaked his hand up from my shirt to my throat, strangling me.

                  "How dare you speak to me like that, you little brat. I don't need my vision to rip your intestines out with my mouth and play double-dutch with them until you cry out your lungs," Hunter growled into my face.

                  "Someone's sensitive--"

                  Faster than my mind could process, Hunter reached into his boot, took out a knife, and pressed it against my throat. "I'll give you sensitive, Paprika. Do you know why I'm here? To kill you because my baby brother couldn't kill a fly without trying to give it CPR a few times."

                  "Hunter, no!" Sin gripped Hunter's wrist and Hunter roared ---that's right, roared at Sin, stunning him entirely. I watched, shocked myself, as Sin began to back away.

                  "It's Pepper. Pepper! P-e-p-p-e-r!"

                  "I'll call you what I want, you're inferior to me." Hunter's mouth was so close to mine that I could practically taste the candy he was sucking on in his mouth. Jolly Rancher. Watermelon. My favorite. Wasn't exactly the right time to be thinking about stealing it from him. "Tell me why your family moved to Orange Gate County and quit kidding around before I decide that you're wasting my time and I cut off those plump lips of yours," he said.

                  "Plump? Really? Like Angelina Jolie plump or Contessa Brewer plump?"

                  Nostrils flaring, Hunter growled in my face. "You're a problem. Humans in this town means only one thing to me. Hunters. Recently, I've been the solution to these problems. Haven't I, Sinny-boy? We can't have humans prancing around Orange Gate County like they own the place when supernatural beings literally own the place."

                  "I'm so sorry I'm suddenly in the mood for story telling now that your hand and knife is around my throat," I whispered sardonically, fighting for air.

                  "Hunter, this is not the way to approach the girl and you know it," Sin said.

                  Hunter slowly dropped me to the floor. "Perhaps you're right. This one doesn't crack as easily as I thought. Usually the knife thing and the nostrils makes human girls either wet their pants... or take their pants off.  Let's see how you get the information out of Paprika, then. And then when you fail, we'll do it my way." 

                  "She grows on you," Sin replied dryly.

                  I motioned to myself, looking at Hunter. "Yeah, Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder? And this isn't even my good side." I turned to my left.

                  There was something extremely petrifying about a hot blind guy throwing daggers at you with their eyes.

                  "Pepper, I'm trying to help you here, but if you piss off my brother he'll literally rip you in half," Sin said, stepping towards me. I was pretty tall for a girl. I definitely could be a professional basketball player if I wanted to. Ok, maybe I wasn't that tall, and maybe I didn't even like basketball, but still. "In order to help you, I need to do one thing for me. One small thing. Don't tell anyone what Grace said in class. Not your family. Not your friends back home--"

                  "Oh, so that's why I was locked in the boys bathroom for the second time today? So you could lecture me about keeping my mouth shut about your doggy-genes?"

                  Turning towards Sin, Hunter started to slow clap. "Paprika really listens to you and your good cop tactics, Sinny, I'm so impressed," he said sarcastically, flashing a one-thousand watt grin. "Really I am. But maybe it's time to hang your girlfriend upside down from the Empire State Building or shred her fingers off, don't you think?"

                  "She's not my girlfriend." Sin's face turned a beat red and his jaw clenched. He then ran his hair aggregately through his hair, crossed his arms over his chest, and gave me his best Do You Really Want to F with Me Right Now, look. "Pepper, the last thing I want to do right now is stand here, watching you roll your eyes at me and pop your mouth whenever I say something that doesn't interest you as you have each and every time we have spoken so far. But it's important that you know all of this. Hunter and I...we're...we're...h--"

                  "Hybrids," Hunter intercepted, smirking at me. "Half vampire, half werewolf. Bark and blood. Speed. Strength. I can hide your body twice as fast as a normal serial killer. Doggies do like digging their holes. Let me know if you want to chill sometime, I'll show you a few of my treasures and then my knife collection. Doesn't have to be in that particular order, but dead people are kind of a turn off for me."

                  Sin rolled his eyes, stepping in between us again as if Hunter was about to snap my neck. " Our mother is a vampire and our father is a werewolf. The reason I got a job here is because our parents own the school. They own all of Orange Gate County as of five years ago."

                  "And everyone in it," Hunter muttered.

                  "We don't age anymore so it's tough to find a place to work without freaking people out," Sin continued, shifting his eyes. "This place...it's been the home of vampires and werewolves for centuries. They're bred here. Educated here. Trained here. And then they join whatever clan that they wish. My family has their own clan. We're a very close family."

                  Sin then looked at his brother.

                  "I left the family clan for personal reasons. I don't have to share my story in front of your new girlfriend, Sinny." I could have sworn Hunter was staring right at him. Just how blind was he?

                  One minute, I was fighting the urge to laugh. The next, I was wiping a hand down my face. "Then why is my family here? Why am I...? Why was I...?" A light bulb went on in my head. "The family across the street from us," I said, turning to Sin. "You know them? My parents work for an advertising agency. We got our new house through that family. They also enrolled me into this high school."

                  "The people that live across your property are vampires," Sin said.

                  "This just proves that her parents are hunters," Hunter said, crossing his thick arms across his chest. "Hashtag kill the bitch before she kills us," he added.

                  "Hunter as in Hunter?" I asked, pointing to Hunter. "Or hunter as in..."

                  "Hunters as in"--Hunter slid an imaginary knife along his neck and struck an invisible stake through his heart--"bye-bye Lassie and Dracula."

                  "Pepper," Sin said, "the family that lives across the street from you are vampires. They probably offered Principal Howard a heap load of money if they got you into this school. If what you're telling me is true. If they really enrolled you into this high school and offered your parents this huge job and house. Then..."

                  "They want us dead," I concluded.

                  "Or undead," Sin said. "And if there's one thing I know about true vampires, it's that they're really selective in who they turn. Very selective."

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