HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER

DEEPEST DESIRES

( Sunday 5th October 1997 )

Rowan was pissed. She was infuriated. If she was a cartoon character in one of those Muggle shows, steam would pouring out from her nose and ears, and her face would be bright red. Rowan sat in the corner of the Slytherin common room, a huge book sat on her lap that she had yet to start reading for Charms class, her eyes burning into the back of Draco as he leant against an armchair about fifty feet away, flirting shamelessly with some sixth year girl.

How the fuck was it fair that she had to stop her regular hookups with Clay if Draco still got to sleep around? Granted, Draco was of course not a part of the plan and merely the victim, but still. Rowan felt like a complete idiot — like she was saving herself for Draco or something.

No way was that the case. No way at all. She felt pathetic and stressed and wound up, and she missed Clay the more she watched Draco fake a small laugh at whatever the girl was saying. Rowan nearly gagged when the girl reached out and rubbed at his shoulder.

"Why do you look like you're trying to cast a non-verbal Killing Curse?" Blaise huffed as he dropped down into the seat opposite her.

In the past week and a bit, Rowan and Pansy had found themselves talking more and more with Blaise and Theo. Of course, most of the time it was just about their little revenge plan, but the boys clearly saw no issues in sitting down next to them all the time, or asking what they were doing, or if they'd done the homework yet. Rowan would go as far as to say that she would actually consider the two boys as friends now.

"Look at him," Rowan said, jerking her head in the direction of Draco.

"He was going on this morning in the dorm about stressing over the quidditch match next month. Said he was going to release some frustration," Blaise hummed, "I guess we know how now."

Rowan grimaced. "Ugh. Nice one."

"Oh!" Blaise jumped up from his seat. "Theo came up with another strategy to push things along a bit quicker. Meet Blaise Zabini — reformed wingman, now certified cockblocker."

Rowan's lips twisted up into a grin that could only be described as evil. "What are you going to do, Mr Zabini?"

Blaise grinned back. "Watch and learn, Yaxley."

Her body swivelled around slightly in her seat for a better angle. Rowan's ears strained, but she found Blaise began to talk loud enough for half the common room to hear if they wanted to.

"Draco," Blaise cheered as he moved over, flinging an arm over his blond friend's shoulder. "Did that potion I leant you help with the itching.... down... you know?"

Draco was frozen, too stunned to even push Blaise's arm off. "What?" He hissed, not missing the horrified look on the girl's face.

"Has it not helped?" Blaise feigned concern. "It should've. Did it at least get rid of some of the redness and swelling? I know Pomfrey said it looked so gross that she refused to even go near it, but if you need a hand, that's what friends are —"

"What the fuck, Blaise?" Draco snapped, shoving him back when the girl finally whirled around, rushing back to her friends. "What are you even fucking on about, you freak?"

Blaise snickered and patted Draco's shoulder. "It's called a joke."

"It wasn't very fucking funny though, was it?" Draco growled, yanking his coat off of the arm of the sofa he was leant against and storming away.

Blaise turned around and gave a grin and a thumbs up to Rowan, who was still trying to contain her laughter. She gave him a thumbs up back. So maybe Blaise wasn't too bad.

The only problem was, due to the fact that Draco didn't end up getting lucky with the girl in the year below, he was still extremely stressed by the time the practice rolled around an hour later. He took his anger out on his players, his pointed face growing redder and redder as Crow missed an incoming Bludger and plummeted off of his broom, or as Goldhorn let more than two Quaffles through the goalpost.

Draco just about lost his shit when Rowan laughed a little too loud at Striker swinging his bat and missing a Bludger by what seemed like miles.

"You think it's funny, Yaxley?" Draco yelled, his face coming closer to hers — she could see a vein in his forehead threatening to burst. "Our first match is only one month away and most of you have shown zero improvement from last year! Gryffindor beat us, and they'll fucking beat us again if you don't get your arses on the pitch and play like you actually fucking want to win."

"We do want to win," Rowan huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "Who said we don't want to win?"

"You all tell me it by the way you don't put your all into every practice! What use are these weekly slots if you're just going to fuck up and laugh about it?" Draco sneered, "This is our final fucking year, Yaxley. I thought you, out of everyone, would know how important it is."

"I do know how important it is for Slytherin to win this year," Rowan hissed back, "However, just because there's been a few slip ups doesn't mean it's the end of the bloody world."

"Look, Malfoy," Goldhorn huffed as he landed on the grass beside them. "We'll do the best we can. We're bound to beat Hufflepuff next month – there's no doubt about it."

"Hufflepuff's team are a joke," Striker scoffed. "Of course we will beat them."

"Diggory left two years ago — they've been even worse ever since," Clay chimed in.

"It doesn't matter how good or bad the other team may be," Draco exhaled heavily through his nose, his large hand pushing back his white-blond hair. "What matters is that nobody else stands a chance against us. I don't even want to come close to Ravenclaw, and we best be nowhere near Hufflepuff — but at this rate, we either lose to Gryffindor or we scrape it."

Everybody looked down or around. Rowan sighed quietly to herself. He was right — and he knew his words would reach home to every single one of them. They were Slytherins, and they wanted to excel. They didn't want to come close, not to Gryffindor.

"Most of you will be here next year," Draco said, "To carry on with the Slytherin team. For a few of us, this is our last chance at winning. And I don't want to just win, I want to make Hogwarts quidditch history. You know what I want?"

Draco eyed them all. He had a way of making people feel small. Even Rowan sometimes, though she would never admit it. She held her chin higher.

"Inkwood? You know what record I want?" He picked on the boy kicking a stick around with his boot. Like a child being told off by their parents.

Clay rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Fastest Snitch caught?"

Rowan scoffed a laugh. "Impossible. Fastest catch was 1921, Seeker of the Tutshill Tornados. He caught it in three and a half seconds — total accident, though."

"No," Crow huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "It wasn't a mistake — just because the Tutshill Tornados hold a record —"

"Plumpton caught the Snitch by chance, not skill," Draco cut him off with a pointed look. "But no, Inkwood, I don't plan the fastest catch. I want our whole team to go down in Hogwarts history — I want us to put a stop of Gryffindor's winning streak. I want us to give them their heaviest defeat since 1991."

"We all want that," Blaise nodded quickly.

"I want you lot to want it as much as me," Draco said, stabbing his thumb against his own chest. "As Slytherins, I know each of you have at least some determination and ambition. The teams that came before us never had enough of it. Montague wanted to win, but he didn't want it as much as I do — as badly as we all do."

Oddly enough, Draco was reminding Rowan of Theo. The way he spoke about winning quidditch was the same way that Theo spoke of getting revenge on his old best friend. Both of them definitely were as determined and ambitious as the other — just over different things. Two peas from the same pod, if you will.

"I want you all to want to win," Draco said, "But I want you to fucking mean it. I want you to come to these practices and leave knowing there's no way Gryffindor will perform better than us. I want you to go to bed tonight, knowing you could wake up and play them no problem."

Rowan chewed her bottom lip. It was a good speech, she would give him that. It made her want to fly up into the air and do her best, to actually prove to her Captain that she wanted it as much as he did. Rowan wanted to be a part of what Draco was talking about — she really did.

The next time Draco ordered them to play again, a minute later, they performed exceptionally better. Rowan watched him leave the pitch far less tense. He even gave a smile to Crow, and patted Blaise on the back as they headed for the changing rooms.

Rowan went to the womens' changing room and let the hot water pour over her cold, aching muscles. So maybe Draco Malfoy wasn't the worst Captain the Slytherin team had ever seen. Rowan actually had high hopes that he would bring it back to Slytherin for the first time in years.

...

( Thursday 23 October 1997 )

Rowan glanced down at the list that Blaise had written her nearly a month ago. She had put it in the bottom of her trunk and not really looked at it ever since, but with everybody else at dinner, she had decided to pull it out and take another quick look. Unfortunately for her, so far, the only thing her and Draco had actually managed to sort of bond over was deducting points off of Harry Potter.

Quidditch was at the top of Blaise's list for Draco's supposed interests, but Rowan wasn't too sure if she could say they had particularly bonded over that. Since Draco's small explosion a couple of weeks back, he'd been a little bit calmer with the team. It was clear everybody was trying to drag their weight, and Rowan thought she'd even caught Draco smiling a couple of times when he observed something particularly good on one of their Sunday practices.

However, even if he had begrudgingly admitted a couple of times that she was doing a good job, Rowan wouldn't call it a breakthrough. Not like what Theo wanted.

He asked her nearly every day if anything had happened between them, and it was clear he was starting to get stressed out about the whole thing. In Theo's head, it was nearly November, which meant it should practically be Christmas, meaning the new year was right around the corner and then exams were merely a few months after that.

However, just as Blaise and Pansy had pointed out, Draco was no stranger to female attention — Rowan showing him a little bit of affection wouldn't have him bowing at her feet, or pleading her to have his babies. It was going to be a slow (and agonising) process. Rowan didn't want to freak Draco out, so no, she wasn't going to agree with everything he said, or smile at him every time he looked in her direction. Barely anything had changed between them, but she did try to bite her tongue more often.

Rowan was waiting for the perfect moment. She wasn't sure when this perfect moment would occur, or even what it would be, but she was sure when the opportunity arose she would take it. Perhaps she would pair up with him for a project or something — they'd be forced to spend even more time together, and maybe Rowan would be able to bring up the fact that they both shared the same favourite quidditch team or something.

Ugh, she didn't know.

Rowan had never had to try so hard for a boy before, and the fact that it was Malfoy left a bad taste in her mouth. Normally, Rowan was fortunate to have the boys come to her — and she never had to be anything but herself. She didn't want to change for Draco, but if push came to shove and she began to seriously run out of time like Theo was worried about, then maybe she'd have to start making some first moves — flirting with him or actually smiling.

Rowan shuddered to herself, scanning the list over again. Blaise's handwriting wasn't the best and the way he didn't dot any of the i's really irked her.

He sneaks out some Tuesday nights to practice quidditch on the pitch

He hates the cold

Rowan raised a brow and glanced over at the calendar pinned between her and Pansy's bed. They shared one and had done every year since the fourth, when their schedules started to get a little more busy. It was a Thursday today — she'd be patrolling with Draco in about three hours, but next Tuesday she could try and catch him out there.

"Oh, Malfoy," Rowan grumbled quietly, "What are you doing out on the pitch past curfew on a Tuesday night? None of my business? Oh. What am I doing? That's none of your business either..."

Rowan shook her head, folding the parchment with Blaise's list up and placing it back in the bottom of her trunk, beneath an old jumper with a jewellery box on top. She locked the trunk and then flopped onto her bed, listening to the small growl that echoed from her stomach. She placed her hand on top of it. Rowan hadn't been hungry thirty minutes ago, when everybody else had gone to dinner, and now she was regretting not going.

She sighed to herself and yanked her Mary Janes on, grasping her robe off the back of her chair. Rowan left the common room, everything eerily silent due to the time of day, and found that entering the Great Hall was like walking into a whole other universe. It was bursting with life, students laughing and chattering away. It was so much warmer and brighter, too. Golden compared to the green haze of the Slytherin dungeons.

"Oh, she's here," Draco grumbled, loud so that Rowan would hear on purpose as she slipped into her usual seat in front of him.

Rowan gave him a sneering smile. "Awh, did you miss me, Malfoy?" She mocked, reaching for the roast potatoes placed out in front of her and scooping out a good three or four.

"Hardly," he scoffed, "I was hoping you were sick or something — so we wouldn't have to do prefect duties together."

"Well, it's just your luck that I'm here and healthier than ever," Rowan beamed, watching the way his face hardened in annoyance. "And I'm more than ready to patrol with you, Malfoy. I've been looking forward to it all day."

"Fuck off, Yaxley," Draco muttered in an irritated grumble. "And stop hogging the gravy — that's way too much."

To make a point, Rowan's brown eyes locked with his silver ones, and she let the gravy boat empty onto her plate. Draco gave her a sneering look.

"Whoops," she said.

"Maybe you two should try to stop arguing," Theo huffed, sending Rowan a pointed look. "It's our final year, you two. We should all be friends — we shouldn't work against each other."

"Just because you and Blaise have started hanging around Yaxley and Parkinson for some odd reason, doesn't mean I have to," Draco huffed, "In fact, I'd rather just kill myself."

Pansy released a loud, bitter laugh. "Go ahead, Malfoy. I'd rather you did that than hang around us, too."

Draco turned his nose up at her. "Shut it, Parkinson," he spat coldly, an icy venom behind his tone that made Pansy merely roll her eyes and not reply back.

Rowan huffed as she gathered up some roast chicken to pair with her potatoes and vegetables too — and also the excessive pool of gravy she had created in a moment of pettiness. She came to regret it a little when she took a bite and realised how soggy everything had gone. Lifting her wand, she muttered a quick spell that soaked up most of it.

"So you didn't even want it all?" Draco burst, as if this was the thing that had finally set him over the edge. His arms flung out dramatically and he looked at Blaise. "She wasted it all!"

"You sound like a child, Draco," Blaise muttered.

"She acted like a child!"

"Who's she?" Pansy snapped.

"Oh, sorry — it," Draco corrected himself bitterly. "I forgot Yaxley wasn't quite human."

Rowan glared, stabbing her fork into her food a little too viciously, allowing it to stand there as she pointed a finger at Draco's face.

"Don't you dare, Malfoy," Rowan warned, "What the fuck is your problem today? I didn't even sit down and you were belittling me!"

"My problem?" Draco laughed, leaning closer across the table to snap back. "My problem is you, Yaxley! You're insufferable and irritating. You're everywhere I fucking go and the fact that I have to spend even more time with you tonight is making me genuinely feel borderline suicidal."

Rowan had to brush off his words before they actually hurt her. It didn't matter if it was just Malfoy saying it, or if he had said worse in the past, but words were bound to hurt if you were human — which Rowan was, despite Draco's beliefs.

Her face grew red with anger. Pansy was exchanging a concerned look with Theo, and even some of the other years were glancing over at the little performance the pair of Slytherins were putting on.

"You're such a fucking dick, Malfoy," Rowan hissed, "As if I don't have to suffer with you around either."

"Then stay out of my way."

"A bit hard considering we're prefect partners," Rowan growled back. "Maybe you should stay out of my way."

Theo tried to cut in. "Guys —"

"I bet you were off shagging Inkwood, weren't you?" Draco said, "That's why you were late to dinner. But not too late, actually. Can he not last very long, Yaxley?"

Rowan glanced down the table — Inkwood wasn't there either. She shook her head.

"Inkwood and I aren't involved with each other anymore, if that matters to you so much, Malfoy," Rowan hissed, "And, actually, Inkwood was very... sufficient. Definitely ten times the man you could ever be."

Draco raised an eyebrow and barked a laugh. "I find that hard to believe!"

"Why do you care?" Rowan's skin was hot and prickly with anger. She was barely resisting the urge to storm out of the Great Hall to get away from Draco. "Jealous, Malfoy? Is that why you were so angry with me when I got here? Thought I'd just gotten back from having a better time with Inkwood than I could ever have with you?"

Rowan heard a few small gasps from her friends. Pansy was practically glowing, her grin wide as she stomped her feet excitedly on the ground beneath the table.

"What exactly are you accusing me of, Yaxley?" Draco lowered his voice. "Are you insinuating that I like you?"

Rowan forced a smirk across her face. "Of course not," she said, watching his eyebrows furrow. "I don't think you're capable of liking anyone, Malfoy. But I do think you want to fuck me."

"Oh my God," Blaise hissed in a whisper. He appeared way too happy about all of this.

Draco looked stunned for a moment before he huffed. "Wha – W— Excuse me, Yaxley?"

Rowan didn't say anything but shot him a small, smug smile as she stood up from her seat. "Don't worry about it. Bye, guys. Bye, Malfoy." She gave him a fluttery-fingered wave.

Rowan left the Great Hall, hearing Blaise laugh at Draco, followed by some hissed words from the blond. She entered the corridor that would lead her towards the Slytherin dungeons when she was shoved against the wall to the side. It wasn't hard enough to hurt her, but she jumped, her brown eyes wide, her fingers inching towards the wand in her robe pocket.

She paused when she realised Draco had followed her. He looked furious as he placed his hand above her head on the wall. He seemed to redden further when he saw her scared look contort into a wide grin.

"You're repulsive, Yaxley," Draco hissed, "I want to make it clear now — I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last girl on planet earth. Stop thinking so highly of yourself — it's embarrassing."

Rowan raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "You wouldn't fuck me, Malfoy?" She gave a small pout. "Poor me. I'm so sad that I will never get the two minutes you've given every other girl at Hogwarts. Please move, I have to go and cry myself to sleep now."

He laughed, his head throwing back a little before he clenched his jaw and looked back at her. His silver eyes were a little unsettling. They were so bright and yet so cold. They pierced into Rowan and made her feel like he was invading every single thought she'd ever had, picking everything apart, judging and scrutinising her.

"I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, Yaxley," he said.

"But you've thought about fucking me before, haven't you?" Rowan said, studying his face. It was passive — Draco was good at looking emotionless, almost like she hadn't said anything. "Well, have you, Malfoy?" She purred.

Here was her first shot. She was using it as a way of mocking him, of making him feel uncomfortable, but Rowan knew it would put the idea in his head anyway. It worked in favour of Theo's plan and also wasn't considered actually flirting. Perfect.

"Don't play innocent, Malfoy," Rowan lowered her voice when he hadn't replied. "I bet you've thought about it a lot — maybe some hate sex during prefect rounds, or shoving me against the wall in the shower after a quidditch game..."

Rowan watched the way Draco's tongue poked at his cheek, then how his jaw clenched tighter.

"And you know what?" Rowan said, "The idea repulses me. Makes my skin crawl. I couldn't think of anything worse, actually. But I bet I've turned you on just thinking about it, haven't I? You'd love to put me in my place — but it'll never happen, Malfoy. And I bet that makes it all the more frustrating, doesn't it?"

Draco's lip curled. "Get your head out of your own arse, Yaxley."

"Do I feel good when you think of me in your head?" Rowan whispered, moving closer to him, watching his eyes darken. "Does how much we hate each other make it more thrilling than the other girls? Hmm?"

His hand struck out from the wall to grab her by the jaw. Rowan's eyes widened slightly.

"Watch your fucking mouth," Draco spat viciously, and then he took off down the corridor, taking quick strides for the common room.

Rowan smirked, adjusting her shirt and robes from where they'd been squashed against the stone wall behind her.

She'd say she won that one.

...

Draco never showed up for prefect duties that evening, and Theo said he had been in his bed with the curtains drawn since they all got back from dinner. Rowan briefly wondered if she had taken it too far. Their arguments had never taken such a sexual turn before, and Rowan hadn't even planned on it until in the moment where she realised how much it was annoying him.

Rowan hoped it would work in her favour too, with the whole Theo plan. Maybe now he'd start to think of Rowan in a more sexual way (which she didn't want, but then maybe she could convert that seuxal tension to romantic with some time and patience) and it would speed up the process of this whole revenge idea. She couldn't keep ignoring or fighting him all year and hope one day he'd turn around and confess his undying love for her. At the same time though, she had to make the transition gradual. This fight could be a turning point for them perhaps.

Pansy joined Rowan for the prefect patrol, thankfully. Hogwarts was relatively safe, but it did get sort of creepy at night with the ghosts roaming about and whatnot. She didn't mind being alone sometimes, but if Pansy was offering, of course Rowan was going to take it.

"You really said that?" Pansy howled with laughter, clapping her hands together as she grinned across at Rowan. "Oh Merlin, Rowan! I bet you put some new fantasies in his head — he's probably not opened his curtain because he's been lying in bed and wanking all evening."

Rowan scrunched her face up. "Ugh — Pans! I did not want to think about Malfoy wanking over me, thank you very much."

"Your fight sounded pretty hot, actually," Pansy said, "Mind recreating it on me? I'll play Malfoy — Hey!" She laughed when Rowan pushed her. "He's definitely going to start thinking about you a lot more now. Men are perverted enough as it is — Malfoy's a whole other story though."

"I don't know what came over me," Rowan admitted with a chuckle. "I mean, I've always thought 'Merlin I hope he doesn't think about me sexually', but I ran with it and it seemed to really piss him off."

"Of course he's thought about you sexually," Pansy huffed, "You're hot as fuck and you get him riled up. I was talking to Theo and Blaise the other day — they reckoned he's always seen you as forbidden fruit. Objectifying, but whatever. Like, deep down, he wants you — if only just to try once."

Rowan rolled her eyes and feigned a gag. "Sick weirdo."

"I mean..." Pansy hesitated for a moment, and Rowan could tell just from the smile on her face that she was about to say something that Rowan wouldn't particularly like. "Have you ever thought about him like that?" She lifted her hands before Rowan could shove her. "Hey, hey! No smacking! I just — obviously I don't because I'm literally only into girls, but even I have to admit he's not ugly. And lots of girls go on about him like he's the shit."

Rowan pursed her lips together and sighed heavily. "It may have crossed my mind a couple of times —" she was cut off by Pansy's shriek.

"Rowan!" She howled, jumping up and down a couple of times, hitting Rowan's arm with a grin. "Who the fuck is the sick weirdo now, huh? You pervert!" She laughed.

"Pans!" Rowan tried to fight off the smile, pushing her away. "Look — I like sex, okay? You know that. So obviously I have imagined what he's like one or two times. But it makes me feel ill afterwards! I hate him so much, Pansy. He's got the shittiest personality I have ever come across. He's only nice to look at — and even then, his face pisses me off more than half the time."

Pansy laughed, shaking her head. "Merlin, and to think... I thought my best friend was a sweet, innocent angel."

Rowan shot Pansy a look and the two of them burst into laughter. A portrait of an old man suddenly snapped to life, glaring down at the two girls fiercely.

"Would you shut it? Some of us are trying to sleep here," the man scowled.

Pansy huffed. "You shut up, old man." She shot a spell at the portrait which caused it to flip the wrong way, so the man in the painting faced the wall instead.

They listened to his muffled shouts for a second or two before Pansy grasped Rowan's wrist and raced down the corridor. They laughed the whole way, earning more hushes from other portraits, finally making it to a place a little less occupied by paint on canvases.

"Merlin, where are we?" Pansy said as the laughter died down. "I've never been through this part of the castle before."

"Me either," Rowan admitted, craning her neck to look up at the high ceiling of the large room they'd entered. "We never usually patrol this way. I think it's all old classrooms and storage."

"Should we pretend to be little first years and do some exploring?" Pansy suggested.

Rowan raised her eyebrows. "Fine. If we get caught and my prefect badge gets taken off of me, it's on you."

"I'll just make you a new one," Pansy teased, walking through the room.

They found a wooden door that they pushed open to reveal another empty room. It was all stone, and looked exactly like the previous one. However, in the corner, propped up against the wall, was a huge mirror. Rowan furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why would there be a mirror down here?" She said.

"I don't know," Pansy hummed, heading towards it. "Oh wow!"

"What is it?" Rowan asked, but was taken aback by what she saw inside.

"It's the Mirror of Erised!" Pansy exclaimed, but it drowned out in Rowan's head.

All she could focus on was what she saw in front of her, in the mirror. Rowan was standing there, but she was standing outside some sort of house. Pansy was next to her, the two of them with their arms linked, bright grins on both their faces.

"What is this?" Rowan repeated.

Pansy looked at her strangely. "I just told you. It's the Mirror of Erised. It shows you your greatest desires. My mother told me about it before we started Hogwarts — I remember how much I wanted to find it when we joined! I forgot about it, but wow..."

What Rowan was seeing made so much more sense now. She saw her and Pansy after Theo's revenge was over, and once they had finally graduated Hogwarts. They lived together and they were happy.

"What do you see?" Rowan asked curiously.

Pansy beamed. "I see myself getting married to a woman. She has no face. My parents are front row — and they're actually happy for me. You're standing right beside me too. You're crying — in a good way."

Rowan felt a tightness in her chest. She didn't get very emotional often, but when it came to Pansy, the smallest thing could trigger her. She wanted to grab her friend into a hug, but Pansy hated sympathy as much as Rowan did. So she merely smiled.

"What about you?" Pansy said.

"I see us," Rowan breathed, "Right after Hogwarts — Theo's given us enough money to have our dream house. There's nothing in our way now."

Pansy was silent for a few moments. Rowan looked away from the mirror to her best friend and found her smiling with watery eyes. Then, Pansy nudged her with her elbow and released a small laugh.

"Cringe," she said, "Come on, let's go a bit further and then head back for an early night."

Rowan grinned and shook her head, following Pansy. She swore she would follow Pansy anywhere.

...

i actually quite enjoyed writing the scene with rowan and pansy. i have made the plan for this fic even more detailed too, so things are getting exciting pretty soon :))) updates may not be as regular as they have been -- i go back to uni next week and i have like two assignments due in the next two weeks, so i'm about to be pretty busy!

thanks so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed <333

word count: 5.3k