HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER

THEODORE NOTT'S PLAN

( Monday 24 September 1997 )

Blaise sat with his face buried in his hands, shaking his head. Theo had summoned him to the quad during their free study period to tell him all about his revenge plan on Draco. Apparently, Theo had been given this some thought all weekend since the incident, but had stayed up the entire night before solidifying parts and adding in the finer details.

When Blaise agreed to help Theo get his revenge on Draco, he had expected something a tad bit more lighthearted. Perhaps publicly humiliating him in the Great Hall, maybe sabotaging his homework, or switching his shampoo with red hair dye.

No, Theo was a lot more upset than Blaise had anticipated.

Theo wanted Draco to get his heart broken — a revenge plan that would take weeks if not months, one that would leave Draco more hurt than Theo, most likely.

"Let me get this straight." Blaise yanked his head from his hands and looked at Theo. "You want to find a girl, have Draco fall in love with her, and then get with her to break Draco's heart?"

Theo nodded quickly. "It's good, isn't it?" He said, "It's exactly what he did to me."

"But that makes you just as bad as him." Blaise furrowed his brows. "And let's also not forget the fact that Draco has never even had an actual emotional connection with a girl, let alone fallen in love with one. You're asking for the impossible here, Theo. Any girl you find, he'll just sleep with and ruin. It's kind of his whole thing."

Theo shook his head. "I know, I know. He's a heartless bastard — and that got me thinking. There's only one girl at this school that actually makes him feel something. One girl that gets his attention without even opening her mouth, or looking in his direction."

Blaise's face melted in realisation. "Theo, no —"

"And there's also only a handful of girls who would never fall for Draco's lies and however good he may apparently be in bed. And one of those girls happens to be the one he's practically obsessed with," Theo smirked.

"Rowan Yaxley, Theo!?" Blaise cried, "You're absolutely insane."

"No, it's actually the best revenge I've come up with — and I've been thinking a lot, Blaise," Theo replied, "Yaxley hates Draco — of course she is going to be down for some revenge of her own. Plus, the fact that she literally finds him repulsive means it will be easy for the plan to go ahead. He'll fall in love with her, but she won't fall in love with him. She'll stick to the plan — there's a zero chance of Draco manipulating her like he does the other girls."

Blaise chewed on his bottom lip. "Okay, well what about the fact that Draco doesn't date? And why the hell would he fall in love with Yaxley? I know we like to say otherwise, but he really does hate her, Theo."

"That will be the tough bit, I know," Theo admitted, "Getting Draco to actually fall for a girl seems impossible, but Yaxley's always been different to him, hasn't she? In his eyes, she's like some sort of forbidden fruit. With the amount of time they spend with each other between meal time, prefect duties, and quidditch... I reckon Yaxley could pull it off."

"She will never say yes."

"So we convince Parkinson it's a good idea too," Theo smirked. "Those two are joined by the hip. If Parkinson likes the plan, Yaxley will soon be for it. I think they would love to get some revenge on Draco, too. To see him as heartbroken as all of the girls he's hurt before. And I want to see it because he hurt me."

"I mean..." Blaise scoffed and shook his head. "It does0 sound like it could work on paper, but these are real life people, mate. I still don't think Draco could fall in love with Yaxley."

"Not with the way they argue, no, which is why we would tell Yaxley to calm it down a little," Theo said, "Not all the way so he gets suspicious or bored — but enough for him to realise that she's not as bad as he thinks. Come on, Blaise. It's genius! Draco will be crushed by the end of the year when he finds out we pulled on him what he's done to every other girl at this school."

Blaise was silent as he thought for a few moments.

"Before I even agree, I want to see Yaxley in on it," Blaise said, "You're right — it won't work with anyone else at Hogwarts. If she says no, I say we just pull his underwear down during the next quidditch match or something."

Theo shook his head. "She won't say no," he replied. "I think I can offer Yaxley something on the side that will convince her a bit more too."

He'd heard a conversation a few weeks ago between Rowan and Pansy that was supposed to be a secret. Theo had considered offering some help before, but he didn't know how and they weren't really friends, so it wasn't his place. However, now, he'd found the perfect opportunity.

Rowan would be given an offer that would be extremely difficult to turn down.

...

Rowan rested on Pansy's arm, her eyes shut. They bathed in what could be the last week of sunshine at Hogwarts, inviting the golden rays on their pale skin. Rowan actually looked forward to the colder weather though. She liked wearing jumpers and watching the rain from the library window. Plus, it meant more time being cooped up by the fire with warm drinks.

"Have you done the Transfiguration homework yet?" Pansy asked.

Rowan kept her eyes closed but made a noise of disgust. "Please do not talk about that right now. It makes me feel sick."

"I haven't done it either," Pansy sighed. "I tried starting it at lunch but I literally couldn't get past the introduction without wanting to stab my eyeballs out with my fork."

"That's... graphic and disturbing."

"Just being honest."

"I know, I know."

"Oi!" A familiar call came from down the bottom of the grassy hill the two girls sat upon. "Oi! Yaxley! Parkinson!"

Rowan peeled her eyes open, both Slytherin girls groaning at the sight of Theo and Blaise marching up the hill. If she was being honest, Rowan was just glad that she wasn't seeing their third counter piece walking with them. However, by the looks of things, Theo and Draco were still nowhere near making up and becoming friends once again.

"Go away!" Pansy called, "We're not interested in whatever you have to say."

"I think you will be, Parkinson," Blaise grinned as they made it to the top. "Nice little hangout space you have here."

"Thanks. Admire it for two more seconds and then turn around and leave," Pansy snapped.

"Hey, we're not here to annoy you two," Theo said, and perched down opposite them, releasing a small grunt as he awkwardly pulled his long legs in to sit criss-crossed like Pansy and Rowan were doing.

"What do you need, Nott?" Rowan asked, sitting up a little straighter.

Blaise scoffed and sat next to his friend. "He wants your whole seventh year and your love life."

Immediately, Pansy and Rowan exchanged looks of scrunched faces. "What?" They both said at the same time.

"Have you two lost the plot?" Rowan folded her arms across her chest defensively. "If this is some sort of prank, I suggest you get out of here before we hex you back down the hill."

"It's not a prank," Blaise said, "Well, not on you, anyway. On Draco."

Again, Rowan and Pansy looked at each other.

Pansy raised an eyebrow. "Proceed..."

Even Rowan had perked up considerably. She would think that they were joking if it hadn't been for Draco's betrayal on Theo. She'd always thought of the three of them as inseparable and loyal — like her and Pansy. She didn't realise that they were so messy. Messy enough to involve Pansy and Rowan too, apparently.

"As you know, Draco Malfoy is a womaniser. Yaxley, I'm sure you've called him every name under the sun — those would also apply here," Theo said and didn't miss Rowan's proud smile. "Malfoy knew how much I liked Robertson, and he still used her for sex like he's done almost every other girl of age at Hogwarts."

"He's fucking vile," Pansy cut in.

"Yes," Theo nodded in agreement. "Keep that fact in mind, Parkinson, as I tell you how we can give Malfoy a taste of his own medicine."

Rowan could have cackled like a mad man. She rubbed her hands together delightfully. Was today her birthday or something? How was this happening right now?

"What's your plan, Nott?" Pansy narrowed her eyes. "It better be decent. Malfoy's barely got a heart to hurt."

There was a moment of silence. Rowan had an awful feeling that she wasn't going to like Theo's plan.

"We want Yaxley to make Malfoy fall in love with her. And then we want her to break his heart."

...

( Tuesday 25 September 1997 )

Rowan pulled the crust off of her toast and pushed it to the side of her plate as she thought deeply.

Her mind wouldn't stray from what Theo and Blaise had asked of her yesterday — all she could think about was how ridiculous it was. The plan sounded good if it were to take place in a purely fictional setting, but this was real life and it would never work in a million years.

Besides, even if Rowan did want to see Draco as hurt as all of the other girls he'd emotionally murdered, she did not want to have to go anywhere near him to do that. The thought of holding his hand and kissing his lips made her feel funny.

"Have you got your answer yet?" Theo asked, taking the seat in front of her with an eager look written across his face.

Blaise sighed heavily as he joined his friend. "It's all he's been going on about."

Pansy raised her eyebrows. "I've tried talking to her, but Row doesn't want to get with Malfoy. Which is perfectly considerable if you ask me — who knows what you'd catch off sleeping with him."

Rowan's eyes widened. "Nobody said anything about sleeping with him!"

Blaise scoffed. "It would be a part of this fake one-sided relationship. You know Draco can't go without it."

"Just think about how worth it it would be!" Pansy grabbed Rowan's arm and shook it. "You've hated him for years now, Row. We leave this place in June, now is your final chance to give Malfoy what he fucking deserves. Plus, I hate to say it, but it's not like the piece of shit is repulsive. From what I hear fucking Greengrass gushing on about, he's alright in bed too."

"You do realise you're asking a lot from me, right?" Rowan sighed, pushing her plate of food away from her. "I mean it when I say I can't stand him. That means I don't think I could smile at him without immediately following it up with an insult, let alone have sex with him!"

"What poor bastard is Yaxley having sex with?"

Rowan closed her eyes to stop herself from snapping when Draco emerged at the breakfast table. He sat down on the other side of Blaise, steering clear of Theo who immediately scowled.

"Your father, Malfoy," Rowan spat before she could even think of controlling herself. "I'm planning on giving him a child he'll actually love."

Pansy's pumpkin juice sprayed all over Blaise who cried out in a panic, and Theo's face immediately lit up with an amused grin. Draco's face was tinged pink with absolute fury. He banged a fist down on the table, his lip curled and his nose scrunched.

"Very funny, Yaxley," Draco hissed, "very funny, indeed. Is the reason you've been particularly shit during quidditch practice recently because you've been spending all your time trying to come up with shitty one-liners?"

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Let's not get into the debate over who's better at quidditch than who. We all know I will win, Malfoy."

He barked a bitter laugh. "We'll see. We have practice today at lunch. Don't be late, Yaxley. Or I'll have you doing triple the laps around the pitch."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she replied sarcastically.

Theo suddenly stood in his seat. "Yaxley, may I borrow you for a moment?" He asked.

Draco looked slightly surprised, though he immediately scowled when Rowan stood and began to follow Theo out of the Great Hall. Once they made it into the Entrance Hall, Theo paused.

"I know getting revenge on Malfoy may not be worth it to you, considering how much I am asking, like you said before," Theo said, scratching the back of his neck. "But sitting there and listening to him talk ignites so much rage in me that I will do anything to get you on my team. Also, I talked to Lorelei earlier."

"What did she say?" Rowan furrowed her brows.

Theo gritted his teeth. "She's down for Hogsmeade next week, which I asked her about before I found out what had happened by the way, but she asked if Malfoy would be coming too. And she was disappointed when I told her no."

Rowan pursed her lips sympathetically. "I don't think she was very experienced, Nott. Malfoy shouldn't have done what he did, especially considering she probably now has a slight... attachment to him."

Theo visibly grimaced. "I know. It's not her fault, it's his. And it makes me so fucking angry."

"It makes me mad too," Rowan agreed, "he shouldn't treat girls how he does. And he shouldn't have done that to you, either."

"Look, I know..." Theo sighed heavily. "I know about your father. About how Malfoy reminds you of him, how he's the worst."

Rowan looked slightly horrified. "H-H- What the hell, Nott? How do you know?"

"You and Parkinson were drunk the first week back," Theo explained calmly, "You were in the common room, talking way too loud. I came in because I couldn't sleep, but I heard what you were saying. About how your father's an arsehole and how he's not allowing you access to the family vault because he'd only ever give it to a son."

Rowan felt stiff as she folded her arms against her chest. "What does this have to do with you or the whole Malfoy thing for that matter?"

"I'm not trying to blackmail you, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. However, I know I'm asking a lot from you, so I'll add in some extra benefits. Whether or not the plan is a success, if you genuinely try to get Malfoy to fall for you, I can give you access to half of the money I'm getting from my vault after I leave Hogwarts. Then you can move out like you want to," Theo said.

Rowan's eyes grew wide. "Nott..." she breathed, "What — that's— you're insane."

"I'm angry, Yaxley," Theo breathed. "I've been angry with Malfoy, and this time... Fuck. It's like he takes everything away from me. Do you know how hard I worked to try and get prefect in fifth year? Or how I wanted to try out for Seeker every year since the second, but he always steered me away from it? This was the final straw, Yaxley. I'm sick of him this time. He knew damn well that I was infatuated with Lorelei. That I was... That I think I'm in love with her."

Rowan's heart sank a little. She must admit, Theo's offer was a good one. To get to see Malfoy crushed and to earn enough money to set her up after Hogwarts — away from her miserable father? It sounded like a dream, but she had a feeling it would be anything but to get there.

Rowan placed a hand on Theo's shoulder. "Give me a little more time to think about it, Nott. I want to give you an answer I'm one hundred percent sure of. So it's fair for both of us," she said.

"More than understandable, Yaxley."

...

"You're late, Yaxley."

Rowan audibly groaned as she walked over to the pitch where Draco was standing with the quidditch equipment, ready for practice. He wore his Captain's uniform, one fingerless-gloved hand gripping his broomstick as he glared at her approaching figure.

"It's not my fault," Rowan claimed, "Professor Flitwick made me stay behind for five minutes. I did tell him that I had other commitments."

"Did I ask why?" Draco huffed, then pointed upwards to where everybody else was doing their laps around the quidditch pitch. "Up you go, Yaxley. Make it six."

She rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly through her nose. Rather than arguing back, which Rowan knew wouldn't end well for her, she kicked up off of her broom and flew up into the air to join everybody else. She knew they'd be down very soon, so she made sure to go as fast as she could. Blaise was a blurred shape as she zoomed past him, her hair flapping in the wind, her fingers tightening around the wood of her broom.

Someone laughed from behind her. "Go, Yaxley!" It was Inkwood.

Rowan grinned to herself, flying as fast as she would in a match they were dangerously close to losing, the cold biting at her face to the point where it hurt. People began to fly back down to Draco whilst she was on her fourth lap. She did one more, aware of Draco yelling at her to hurry up, and then, on her final lap, she completed it as fast as possible before flying straight down.

Her teammates parted ways as she landed right in front of Draco, kicking up dirt all over his pristine uniform. Draco remained frozen in place, looking absolutely furious as he stared down at her giggling figure. Some of the others were laughing behind her — including Blaise.

"Did you think that was a smart idea, Yaxley?" Draco hissed through gritted teeth. "I have a good enough mind to send you back up there for an additional five laps."

Rowan raised an eyebrow. "Well then we won't get any proper practice done, will we? That wouldn't make you a very good captain, Malfoy.."

"Don't tell me how to run this team, Yaxley," Draco warned, "Or you'll be off of it."

Clay huffed as he folded his arms across his chest. "Except we need Yaxley. Malfoy, can we just move on?" He proposed, "Doing laps isn't useful other than for the warmup."

Draco's tongue poked at the inside of his cheek as he glared daggers at Clay. "Listen. I'm running my team how I want to. That means I decide what's good for us, who stays, who goes. Here's the plan for the rest of the practice — and if you have a problem with it, take it up with me in your time, not mine. Beaters, I want you to practise throwing the Bludgers at the Chasers — Chasers, you need to get to the other end of the pitch and back without getting hit. You won't always have our Beaters there to protect you from the opposing team."

"And me, Malfoy?" Goldhorn, the Keeper of the Slytherin team, asked.

"You can work up at the goalposts. Our substitute Chasers will throw Quaffles at you. Don't let them in," Draco ordered, "Have I made myself clear?"

There were nods from everyone on the team. Even Rowan was thankful that he was finally using their time not to constantly bash her. The last practice they'd had, Draco had been on her arse the entire time. It was clear he blamed her entirely for what had gone down between him and Theo.

Crow and Striker, the Beaters, grasped their bats as they flew up into the air, taking an even position along the length of the quidditch pitch. Clay sent Rowan a small smile before he flew up, getting into place. Rowan followed Blaise up, the three Chasers tightening their holds on their brooms and preparing for the shower of Bludgers to come.

"Go!" Draco roared from where he'd flown up to watch closely.

Rowan took off, almost immediately dodging a Bludger that had been hurdled in her direction. She flew low, her head missing it by inches, moving in line with Clay and Blaise who were also eager to get to the other end of the pitch. She heard the heavy noise of the Bludger flying through the air and watched as Blaise only narrowly missed it, nearly toppling off of his broom in the process.

Rowan made it to the end of the pitch first and did a sharp turn, flying upside down momentarily and avoiding yet another Bludger. That one seemed to miss by miles. She heard a grunt come from behind her and realised that Clay had been struck in the back, his body shoving forwards on his broom, his actions faltering completely in the air. Rowan continued on, but it was only a matter of time before she had two Bludgers coming in her direction.

The ebony-haired girl missed the first one, however, seemed to dive straight into the second. It smacked her in the stomach, knocking the air out of her lungs. She released one hand from her broom, choking on the air for a moment, trying to fly forwards and fight through it, when another Bludger struck her side.

Rowan felt herself falling. The wind soared through her hair as if she was moving up rather than down, her heart pounding when she realised she had released her broom and lost concentration altogether. Rowan's body was about to smack the ground when she felt someone swoop beneath her. The air was still hardly entering her lungs when she looked up and saw Goldhorn. He looked concerned as she pulled herself away immediately, clutching her side and coughing.

"What the fuck was that, Malfoy?" Clay yelled as he landed on the ground. "She'd already been hit and you ordered another!"

Rowan could have bet money on Draco being behind it.

"And?" Draco said, swooping down to the ground. " It's called a Dopplebeater Defence. It's perfectly legal, Inkwood. Yaxley's supposedly our finest Chaser — no doubt the Gryffindor team will be going through extremes this year to make sure they come out on top. They know she's... decent. They'll come after her first."

Rowan rolled her eyes and gave her ribs one last rub. "I'm fine, Inkwood. Don't worry about it."

"Still. You shouldn't have let her fall from that height. If Goldhorn hadn't —"

"But he was there, and Yaxley is perfectly fine," Draco snapped, "Perhaps stop worrying about your little girlfriend and start worrying about your own performance. You were targeted only three times and got hit once. Your performance was shocking. How are you supposed to shoot Quaffles through the goals with that sort of ratio?"

Clay only muttered back, "She's not my girlfriend."

Rowan huffed. "Can both of you just shut up? I'm fine. In fact, Malfoy is right — I should expect more than one Bludger coming my way, and I shouldn't have lost focus like I did. Quidditch is important, let's not let our social lives get in the way of us winning this year."

"I'm surprised to say Yaxley is also right." Draco scrunched his nose up. "Stop jumping to defend Yaxley all the time, Inkwood. You see? She's a big girl, she can handle it."

Rowan rolled her eyes and shot him a small glare. "Are we going to practice or what?"

"Yes. Back up there, Yaxley. Inkwood."

They took off back into the sky. Blaise sent them an unsure look.

"Everything alright?" He asked. He was looking at Rowan.

"Yes, fine," Draco replied hastily, "Yaxley needs to learn to concentrate better and hold onto her broom tighter."

She swallowed thickly but said nothing. Draco didn't lie about the attack on her being perfectly legal in quidditch, so she knew he was right and that made her angry. Blaise shrugged his shoulders and they continued on with their practice. Crow and Striker continued to throw Bludgers at them, faster or more intensely based on Draco's direction, and Rowan did better at avoiding them this time.

Draco tried to get her again with two at once, which made her angry considering he didn't do the same to Blaise or Clay. Rowan missed them both with a sharp turn to the ground, sending a grin in the direction of Draco who merely raised an eyebrow back.

"Okay, okay," Draco called, "Enough of that. Chasers, grab a Quaffle each. Practice throwing them through the goalposts, we'll have our Keeper try and defend. Bludgers — do your best to catch our Chasers out."

"Aren't you going to practice Seeking, mate?" Blaise asked.

"Not right now," Draco said, "I want to see where the rest of the team needs to improve."

Rowan obeyed Draco's order for the next drill. She tossed the Quaffles towards the goalposts, getting them through more times than she missed, avoiding the Bludgers that Crow and Striker threw over at them. Again, Rowan knew the majority of the Bludgers being thrown were aimed in her direction. She began to grow sick of it when her Quaffle aim-accuracy started to diminish, and she finally gave up, storming to the ground and tossing her broomstick on the floor. She marched over to Draco.

"Stop ordering them to go after just me!" Rowan snapped, "Get them on Zabini or Inkwood too. I'm not the only bloody Chaser up there!"

"Well, you said you're our best Chaser, so you should be able to handle it with no problem," Draco said innocently, "Or at least I assumed that was the case."

Rowan's face was growing red with anger. "You know bloody well that you're purposefully trying to make me look bad! There's only supposed to be two Bludgers on the pitch during games, and yet somehow, I have three coming in my direction whilst you're yelling at me for missing the goalpost!"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "I warned you, Yaxley," he kept his voice low, dangerous. "I warned you not to tell Theo."

Rowan released a loud, incredulous cry, throwing her hands in the air. "Of course this is about how I warned Nott what a shitty friend you are! You're incredible, Malfoy — really! You're fucking insane."

"And maybe you should think twice before you butt your head into other peoples' business," Draco hissed back.

"Malfoy, lunch is nearly over — I gotta shower before Herbology," Striker called.

"Come down," Draco ordered, turning his back on a fuming Rowan. "You all did decently today. Beaters, you need to work on some new tactics — you look as stiff as anything up there. Goldhorn, you're defending three hoops not one. Move about more. Chasers you were fine, Yaxley — try not to fall off your broom and nearly die next time."

Rowan's face contorted with anger but rather than saying anything, she grabbed her broom off of the grass and marched away.

"I haven't dismissed the team yet!"

She sent a middle finger behind her back and carried on towards the girls' showers. Afterwards, she was going to go and see Theo.

Rowan had an answer to give him.

...

i hope the quidditch scene wasn't too boring! i cant wait to start writing the next bits. it's going to be challenging to make the shift in dynamic between rowan and draco natural and at a realistic pace, but im down for the challenge!

thanks so much for reading, hope you enjoyed <333

word count: 4.6k

dyiansobrien.