HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

"How is he?"

Blaise stared at the urgent expression on Rowan's face, his brows furrowed, an aching look on his face that had been there since he had found out the news about Narcissa. He had gone to visit Draco the day before, Draco's birthday, and Rowan had been an anxious mess the entire time. It was a last minute thing— Blaise's mother was going to visit and had asked if her son would like to go with her. Blaise had already gotten to see him earlier that week to deliver Draco his homework— Rowan had been on Prefect patrols by herself and unable to volunteer herself when Snape had asked. It wasn't fair.

Draco hadn't asked Rowan to go and see him and Rowan had been too scared to suggest it in case he felt as though she was being too overbearing. He was at home for a reason— the intensity of Hogwarts was too overwhelming for his grieving heart, and she completely understood that. If she had lost somebody dear to her, the last place she would want to be would be in the Great Hall where everybody was staring and whispering, or in the common room where people thought they had the right to know every single little detail.

However, it didn't stop her from feeling distraught. She missed him so much– it had been a couple of weeks since she had seen him. He hardly wrote to her— she supposed not much was going on over there, other than horribly depressing days— and she wanted to be with him. Even if he spent the whole time weeping into her shoulder, that would be fine, too. Anything but the silence

"He's coming back tomorrow," Blaise replied, "But he's still the same as he was last time, Rowan."

Rowan sighed heavily. The anxiety balling in her chest and stomach made her feel sick, and yet she had somehow come so accustomed to the feeling that when she sat back into the sofa and her leg bounced and her fingers twitched, her body didn't recognise it as anything but the new normal. She was constantly jittery now, jealous of everybody who received owls from their loved ones each morning, whilst she burned holes into her toast.

"I can't wait to see him," she admitted.

"Really?" Pansy said sarcastically. "We had no idea."

Rowan sent Pansy a fierce glare. "Shut it. I've been so worried. I could hardly focus on any of my revision."

"How do you think Draco feels?" Blaise said, "His mother's just died. He's not been able to concentrate on his either."

Rowan's mouth fell open. "I'm sorry, is it a competition? Obviously Draco is in a much worse-off position. I was just saying how I've been feeling."

Blaise huffed. "Yeah. Sorry. I just feel tense after seeing Draco. It's not nice."

Rowan closed her eyes and imagined him in the worst state possible. She hated it more than anything.

She was relieved when the next day came quicker than she had expected it too. Rowan had fallen asleep on top of her homework, waking up the sounds of footsteps in the dorm. She peeled back the curtain after she had woken herself up properly, finding Pansy brushing her hair in the mirror.

"He's back," Pansy told her. "He got here really early, Blaise said he's in the common room."

Rowan's heart skipped a beat. Immediately she was up and in the shower. She put on her eyeliner as always, spritzed the perfume she knew her boyfriend loved the most, and pulled on her black midi skirt and a white baby tee. Her black Mary Janes were pulled on at the speed of lightning, nearly forgetting her wand completely as she darted out of the door and down to the common room.

The back of his white hair was the first thing she saw in a sea of black and green. He sat on one of the sofas next to Blaise, his back to her, listening to whatever Blaise was talking about. She forced herself over to him, swallowing her nerves, and brushed a hand over his shoulder.

Draco tensed, and then glanced up at her. Rowan was shocked to see how different he looked. Draco appeared absolutely exhausted, his eyes sort of rimmed red, his hair a little longer than usual, and his skin was nearly translucent. She squeezed him, pursing her lips as Blaise stood up and moved away to give the couple some space.

She sat down beside him, her eyes melting with concern. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hi," Draco said. His throat sounded raw. "How are you?"

"I should be asking you that," Rowan murmured.

Draco shrugged. "I'd rather not answer it, to be honest."

Rowan nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

They were in silence for a few moments.

"I was really worried about you," Rowan whispered, "I missed you so much."

Draco swallowed. "I missed you too."

She yanked him into a hug. It took him a second to return it, his tense body relaxing under her touch. He released a long exhale, a shaking hand holding the back of her head for a few moments. When she pulled away, his silver eyes were slightly glossy. He clenched them shut and then reopened them.

"I'm here for you," Rowan told him gently, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "No matter what, okay? You can come to me for anything you need. Literally anything."

Draco nodded. "Thank you, Rowan."

Exams started up the day after. Rowan wasn't expecting them to be so difficult— she remembered anxiously anticipating the OWLs back in the day, and then realising they weren't as bad as they seemed. However, she supposed these were taken at the very end of Hogwarts for a reason. They certainly were much more advanced.

The night that she would have loved to have spent curled up in Draco's arms, talking his feelings out and appreciating each other's presence, was unfortunately spent hunched over a table in the library— like most of her year group. Draco did sit next to her, though he was emerged in his own load of revision, as silent as Pansy and Blaise were opposite them.

Unfortunately, this was how the next couple of weeks seemed to go. Rowan and Draco had only been alone a couple of times, even prefect patrolling had been cancelled for seventh years so they could cram in some more revision and get early nights for their morning exams.

"I feel like we've hardly seen each other," Rowan said, walking into his arms, burying her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. "I mean, we see each other everyday, but we're hardly ever alone and we're always revision for these stupid exams."

"Only a few more to go," Draco said, "Then we have the graduation ball. And then we're free."

Rowan tensed a little at the thought. She closed her eyes. She didn't know how on earth she was supposed to tell him about The Plan now, especially after his mother had just passed away. Rowan didn't think she could live with herself if she was ever the reason Draco was crying.

"Yeah," she sighed, "Not too long to go now."

"Then you'll have your Quidditch audition," Draco said, "And you'll be living with Parkinson."

"And you," Rowan said, "You'll be over so often you'll be a lodger."

Draco chuckled. "That's a plan."

Rowan grinned widely. She tried not to think of all of the 'what ifs' or what was most likely going to happen. Instead, she pictured herself swimming around in the pool with Draco, Pansy, and her girlfriend. And then maybe later they would walk through the Cornish cobblestone streets and go for after-dinner ice cream and window shop.

"It's going to be amazing," Rowan promised.

She thought a lot about the future whenever she wanted to give up revising. Every time she felt the urge to plead Draco to put his books away and just kiss her, she willed herself to remember what she was working towards. And yet, the impending doom that lived inside her reminded her that maybe it would never happen if Theo got his way.

She found Theo revising at the other end of the library one evening. He sat at a small table by himself down one of the aisles, books floating around him on the pages he needed, his quill furiously scribbling away at his parchment, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"What do you want, Rowan?" He hadn't even glanced up.

She pursed her lips. "I would just like to know when you plan on telling him," she admitted. "I feel like I deserve to know that at least."

"I'm not."

Rowan blinked.

Then she blinked again.

"I– er, excuse me?" Rowan was dumbfounded. "What do you mean by that?"

Theo scoffed a small laugh and then glanced up at her. "It means what I said. I'm not going to tell him. You're welcome or whatever."

"But... but why not?" Rowan muttered, "After the last few months where you've been so adamant... I mean, what's changed?"

"His mother's dead," Theo said, "I look at him and he's a shell of the Malfoy I used to know. He's always just in his bed with the curtains drawn. He forgot a silencing charm last week. I was the only one in the room, but I heard him crying. He hardly eats. He's not happy. I got what I wanted, I suppose... I can't say it feels amazing."

Rowan stilled. "I... So you're not going to tell him anything? That's it? It's over like that?"

"Yeah," Theo said, "I mean, I am assuming you'll have to tell him at some point how your relationship really came about. But I'm not going to be the one to do it. I don't care much anymore— he's hurting more than I ever have. I can't help but feel sorry for him."

Rowan swallowed. "Thank you. Thank you, Theo."

Theo pursed his lips. "Don't thank me, Yaxley. I think Blaise is feeling as guilty as ever."

Rowan's blood ran cold. "What... what do you mean?"

"Blaise is Malfoy's best friend. I don't think he even realised what an impact this would have on Malfoy. Now that Narcissa's gone, emotions are high, I suppose. Blaise misses her too. He sees how much it's affecting Malfoy. I don't think he wants any of this anymore," Theo said.

"Well, there isn't such thing as 'any of this'," Rowan panicked, "There hasn't been for months and months. Blaise knows that. He knows I love Draco."

"Yeah," Theo said, "He loves Draco, too. I mean, do you think Pansy would keep something like this from you?"

"Pansy would never have done this in the first place," Rowan swallowed, "She wouldn't— Blaise can't— he's— he knows I'm being honest. He knows I love him. Blaise and I are friends."

"Look, don't have a bloody panic attack on me, Yaxley," Theo said, "I'm trying to revise for Divination. I don't have the time for an entire conversation."

Rowan backed away. She felt like she could feel the blood pumping around her body, hot and flushing in her ears, her hands sweaty as she held onto the edge of one of the bookshelves to find some stability. Her mind was racing almost as fast as her heart.

Theo and Blaise had come up with this prank of sorts by themselves. Theo had roped Rowan into it, and consequently Pansy. Now, nobody wanted any part of it— not Rowan, and not even Theo anymore. And yet who was going to face the consequences? Who was the one person that really was going to get hurt? Rowan.

Rowan had set out to break Draco's heart, and yet both of them were going to end up wounded.

"Blaise!" Rowan chased the tall Slytherin down the corridor, weaving in and out of a few Gryffindors. "Blaise, wait! I need to talk to you."

Blaise looked down at her, but didn't stop walking. "Yes, Rowan? I'm sorry, I'm a bit busy— Luna and I are going to Hogsmeade tonight. I need to get changed."

"Yeah, yeah, it won't take a minute," Rowan said, "I just needed to tell you something."

"Go ahead," he said, "I'm all ears."

"I'm going to tell him," Rowan said, "So you don't need to. Don't worry about it, Blaise. I know you've been feeling stressed and guilty, but... but it's my responsibility to make this right, and I will. I'm going to wait until the time is right. I'll let him recover a bit from his mother, and I'll tell him as soon as the time is appropriate. I won't keep this from him any longer than I have to. It's eating me alive, too."

Blaise stilled and glanced down at her again. "Oh. Good, I'm glad to hear," he said, "Thanks for letting me know. I've been feeling pretty... awful about it all recently."

"Yeah, me too," Rowan said, "Or, well, I always have— I really love him, you know? I can't– I can't lose him because I was a complete idiot a few months ago."

"Yeah," he said, and squeezed her shoulder. "He loves you too. I'm so sorry to cut this short—" his eyes landed on Luna standing outside the Slytherin common room, her hands clasped in front of her as she swayed in her spot. "I have to go."

"Bye, Blaise," Rowan smiled and watched as he raced over to his girlfriend.

He grabbed her by her waist and hauled her off of her feet. Luna's face lit up, growing rosy as she held his shoulder. They kissed briefly before he touched the bottom of her hair, saying something about it. Rowan sighed, both envious and happy for them.

...

Exams were officially over. Rowan had never been so relieved as when the final bell went off and she heard the collective sighs of relief, followed by quills dropping on desks and exam papers shuffling closed. Watching the papers float over to the exams officer was a feeling like no other. Her fate was now sealed, there was nothing else that she could do.

The only plans she had for now was a trip to The Three Broomsticks. She couldn't remember the last time she was excited as then as she came out of the shower, hair freshly washed, perched in front of the mirror to reapply her eyeliner— bigger and better than ever.

"We should wait for Blaise and Malfoy downstairs," Pansy said once they were both ready. "I'm sure they'll only be a minute."

They moved downstairs. Rowan swallowed at the sight of Theo sat in one of the armchairs. Exams were over and yet he was still buried in one of his books. She chewed her bottom lip and couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Daphne, Millicent, and Tracey were all getting ready to go out themselves up in the dorm room. Even Vincent and Gregory had some sort of plans for the night, Rowan was sure.

And yet there Theo sat, sat with a book, ignoring all of the Friday night festivities going on around him. She pitied the fact that he had been so upset with Draco that Theo had torn his own life apart in the process of revenge. He no longer spent time with Blaise. In fact, Rowan wasn't sure she had seen him talk to anybody else in a really long time.

She went to stand by him, waiting for him to realise she was there.

"I'm getting really sick of seeing you every time I look up, Yaxley," Theo said with a small huff, glancing up from his book. "What would you like this time?"

"We're going to The Three Broomsticks tonight to celebrate finishing our exams—"

"Good for you—"

"- You should come with us."

Theo looked slightly startled, brows knitting together. "You want me to go to the pub with you all?"

Rowan shrugged as if she had made the most casual proposal in the world. "Yeah, why not? School's ending— we might as well enjoy the last week or so together."

He appeared hesitant. Pansy was staring at her as if she had grown three heads.

"Okay," he said, and closed his book. "I'll come."

Draco and Blaise were both equally as confused to see Theo standing with the two girls when they entered the common room a couple of minutes later. However, after a few nods and some exchanged small talk, the three boys seemed to nearly bounce back to how they had been a few months ago. The tension was still there— jokes slightly hesitant, longer glances than usual— but they were good at pretending this was normal.

The Three Broomsticks was bustling with students, mostly other seventh years who'd had the exact same idea as the five Slytherins. They found a table towards the back of the pub and were quickly ordering in the Firewhiskys and alcoholic Butterbeers.

Theo was slightly quiet, but Rowan saw him laughing loudly and joining in with all of the jokes, especially when he got to his third Firewhisky of the night. Rowan was buzzing, chatting excitedly to Pansy, revelling in the smell of alcohol and smoke, loving the night chill that breezed by every now and then when the door opened, smiling at all of the other tables roaring with laughter and yelling, fists pounding on tables and shot glasses clattering about, the bar staff working quickly to magic away dirty dishes.

"What a year this has been," Pansy said, "I mean, so much has happened already. I'm so excited for the future, you know? Living with one another, both having proper jobs, making money... It's going to be really special."

"I can't wait," Rowan agreed.

She glanced across the table at Draco who was already looking at her. He looked a bit better over the last couple of days, like he had actually been getting a little bit of sleep. She sent him a small smile which he returned.

As soon as they got back to Hogwarts, he was tugging her in the opposite direction of their friends.

"Woah, woah, where are you two love birds going?" Pansy cheered.

"Yeah, where are we going?" Rowan laughed.

"For a celebration of our own," Draco said, and rolled his eyes when Pansy pretended to stick her fingers down her throat and gag. "Come on, Rowan."

Rowan laughed, flushed from the alcohol, dramatically waving goodbye to her friends, grabbing Draco's hand and practically skipping by his side. They found themselves inside the Room of Requirement, the one that had the bed and cosy sofa and fireplace inside, and she was pinned to the mattress, large hands holding hers above her head, lips attacking hers.

She hummed against him, bucking her hips to meet his, revelling in the groan that echoed into her mouth. It had been so long since she'd had him like this, all mouth and teeth, one leg moving up on the bed, his knee in between her thighs, pushing against where she needed him the most. At first she winced against the bruising weight, and then he adjusted himself and pushed more gently, and Rowan sighed in relief, wriggling herself as if it to grind back on him.

"Fuck, Draco," she murmured, "Please."

He kissed down her neck, sucking and biting bruises all the way up to her ear. Rowan enjoyed it for now, but knew she would want to kill him in the morning when she looked in the mirror to see all of the harsh marks he had left over her delicate skin.

Draco's large hand palmed at her chest, squeezing one of her breasts, eliciting a small gasp from the girl beneath him. She pushed herself into him. He said nothing but started to unbutton the shirt he was wearing quickly. Rowan breathed heavily, quickly peeling her own dress off. Draco unbuckled his trousers as if he was running out of time, kicking off his shoes. Rowan did the same and unclasped her bra behind her back.

He was back on her, his back muscles shifting under hands as he kissed her hard again, his hard cock pressing against her stomach and making her throb. Draco grasped her dark hair and yanked her head to the side, kissing her jaw and down to the valley of her breasts.

Just as she thought perhaps he was going to travel even further down south to where she needed him the most, Draco moved up to the bed, on his knees, grabbing her so that she was on hers.

"Please—" She was cut off by his hand on the back of her neck.

Draco pushed her, her hands landing firm on the mattress and stopping her from toppling straight over. She shifted onto her elbows, her face pressed into the sheets, and felt his hand move across her spine. One held his cock, guiding it over to her dripping sex. She gasped when she felt him smooth it up and down her, collecting her slick before he pushed inside.

He moaned as he bottomed out, grabbing her waist tight, his head flinging back. Rowan whimpered, clenching her eyes shut as he rocked back and forth, nearly pulling all the way out each time before shoving himself right back in. Her walls squeezed around him like a vice, clenching as he gained rhythm in his hips, the only sounds being their heavy breathing and moans, as well as the slapping of skin and Rowan's proof of arousal.

"Fuck," Draco muttered when she started to thrust backwards to meet him in the middle. He smacked her ass. "Just like that."

She went quicker, grinning slightly at his encouragement, pursing her lips when he squeezed and felt her body all over. He grabbed her hair and pulled her backwards. Her back pressed up against his front, his mouth right next to her ear. He nibbled on her lobe.

"This is my favourite thing," he hissed against her ear.

"Draco," she gasped. She swore she was seeing stars.

"I'm gonna come," he said.

"Please," she whined.

Draco came. Rowan gasped at the feeling, his hands loosening on her as the ograsm racked through his body. She fell forwards back onto the bed, their bodies still connected as he finished inside of her. Pants rolled from her lips, her body coated in a thin layer of sweat. She throbbed as he pulled out of her. Draco fell backwards, his head on the pillow, an arm over his chest.

Rowan grinned as she climbed onto her hands and knees, moving over to him. She flopped down beside him, her finger tracing patterns across his chest.

"Was that good?"

"Mhm," Draco mumbled, "I'm exhausted."

She felt a surge of disappointment. Her mouth opened to remind him that she had yet to have her own big finish, but his eyes were closed and now she was up close and really looking at him, she could see how boyish and tired he looked. Bags were beneath his eyes.

Rowan swallowed and stroked his hair. "Okay, baby."

"Sorry," Draco said, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Rowan smiled gently and stifled a yawn of her own. "Don't worry about it, I still enjoyed it."

She put her head on his chest. It wasn't long until she fell asleep. 

...

double updates baby!!! 

not proofread :)

dyiansobrien