HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER

STRESSED OUT 

( Sunday 1st March 1998 )

The Great Hall was rowdy all morning over at the Gryffindor table. Rowan discovered thanks to a loud chorus of song, that today was Ron Weasley's birthday, as well as the match between his Quidditch team and the Hufflepuffs.

"Weasel's going to be so smug," Draco scoffed as he buttered his toast, glaring over at the Gryffindors who had started some sort of silly chant. "Obviously Gryffindor will beat Hufflepuff, but that's hardly an accomplishment, is it?"

"Not at all," Rowan chuckled back, popping a grape into her mouth as she made eye contact with Ginny Weasley.

When Ginny glared, Rowan just widened a cruel smirk.

"Good luck, Weaselette!" Rowan called and watched as Ginny's freckled face turned red with anger, her fists clenching visibly where they sat above the table.

It looked like she was going to charge over as the Slytherins surrounding Rowan erupted into laughter, but Hermione Granger had quickly grabbed Ginny by the shoulders and steered her attention back to the circle of Quidditch players putting their heads together for a pre-match talk. Not before the Head Girl sent Rowan a look as if to say seriously? Grow up!

"Too proud for their own good," Blaise muttered.

Rowan opened her mouth to agree when Theo sauntered over to the table, popping down on the other side. Every time he was around, Rowan tended to feel a mixture of nerves and anger. She was always tense — wondering if now would be the time Theo decided to burst and tell Draco everything.

She was also furious because how dare he! How dare he blame Draco for going out with Rowan when it was Theo that had practically shoved them together? It didn't make sense whatsoever.

Rowan ignored him like she had been doing for the past week.

When the match started, Rowan and the other Slytherin Quidditch team members sat around each other with grins on their faces and insults prepared to make each other howl with laughter. And at the beginning of the match, that is how it went.

They'd cry with laughter when someone was hit by a Bludger, call for Potter to go a little faster when he went by without a Snitch in his hand, and overall live up to the Slytherin stereotype that had been forced upon them since they were young. Who cared if it was immature if it was so satisfying to see Ron Weasley's face grow redder and redder as time went on?

It didn't stay like that forever, though. It hit a certain point of the match where Rowan was biting her nails, and even Draco didn't look very sure.

Gryffindor were thrashing Hufflepuff. Rowan wasn't sure if they were about to see one of the heaviest defeats in Quidditch history, but Gryffindor were winning by miles, and they hadn't even caught the Snitch yet.

"Fuck," Draco growled, "Hufflepuff need to catch that fucking Snitch right now or —"

"Potter's eyes are on the Golden Snitch!" Ernie's voice carried through the speakers. "Come on, Hufflepuff... This is really embarrassing."

"Fuck!" Draco snapped louder this time, his fist slamming down on the bench between himself and Rowan.

Rowan jumped a little, but she was more concentrated on the game. In her head, she was frantically trying to work out the scores. Hufflepuff were on a measly 130 points, but Gryffindor were at 350 already. If Hufflepuff got the Snitch now, Gryffindor would be at 680 compared to Slytherin's 850 when it came to their final match next month.

However, Gryffindor were bound to catch the Snitch. And if Rowan's maths was correct... Gryffindor would be placed at 860 points minimum now.

"Come on, come on, come on," Rowan muttered under her breath, eyeing the Hufflepuff Seeker who couldn't keep up with Harry.

It was no use praying. Within moments, Harry's extended hand had reached out and grazed the Snitch, and then it was engulfed by his palm. There were roars and cries and cheers from the Gryffindor stands. Slytherin remained silent other than mutters and small boos.

Rowan swallowed thickly but glared as Ginny flew over to them, one hand on her broom as she grinned maliciously at Rowan.

"Good luck beating that, Yaxley," Ginny laughed.

"I don't need luck, Weasel," Rowan sneered back. "I have this little thing called talent."

Yet Rowan didn't feel great, even as she walked with Draco to Hogsmeade for their date. His hand clasping hers did nothing to distract her from the anxiety she felt in her chest. It felt like the Slytherin team had already lost, every ounce of optimism she had previously had going out of the window.

When she sat at the table Draco had specially reserved for them at Puddifoot's, Rowan tried to force a smile, reaching across and squeezing his hand. A few other couples were dotted about, but it didn't seem to be too busy inside the cafe. The aroma of tea and coffee and pastries filled Rowan's stomach. It only made her feel iller, unfortunately.

"I..." Draco started, his face slightly hard. "Try not to think about it just for today."

He couldn't even bring it in him to lie and say she shouldn't worry. He was worried, too.

"They won with 530 points, Draco," Rowan sighed heavily, "They're beating us now. It's hard not to think about."

"They're beating us by ten points."

"You know as well as I do that that means everything," Rowan replied with a stern look. "At the end of the day, I'm going to have to rack in more points than ever now. And pray that Weaselette doesn't somehow get any better at Chasing."

"Yes, you will have to."

Rowan looked slightly surprised. Almost as if she had expected him to comfort her.

"It's true," he shrugged. "You're going to have to work extra hard, but so is Blaise and everybody else. I am going to have to work my arse off if I want to get the Snitch before Potter. Something which is apparently near enough impossible– but not completely. We're all going to have to put the work in. Don't worry about it right now, Rowan. I'm Captain — worrying is my job."

Rowan nodded and swallowed thickly. He gave her hand a squeeze.

"Now," Draco said, propping the menu open. "What is good here? I've never been."

Rowan liked that he still held her hand across the table. She gave a soft smile and decided she would try and let the crushing fear of not winning her final Quidditch game melt away.

....

Rowan balanced a couple of books in her hands, her eyes lighting up when a large hand swooped in and took them off of her. She chuckled, opening her mouth to thank her boyfriend, but the silver eyes she looked into didn't belong to him.

"Mr Malfoy," Rowan breathed, her eyes slightly wide. Her cheeks felt warm.

He stood in dark robes as always, his long, platinum hair behind him. He looked as though he had somehow aged within the last few months since she had seen him last. Lucius held her books, shuffling through them briefly and scanning each title before popping them into his basket with a smile. Nobody could quite mistake that smile for friendly.

"Miss Yaxley," Lucius greeted her, "I thought I saw you in here with my son through the window."

Rowan forced herself to remain upright and proper, just like she had always been taught to do. She glanced over her shoulder. Draco was nowhere to be seen. She straighted her back.

"You saw correctly, sir," Rowan replied, "I'm afraid I don't know where Draco has wandered off to though..."

"Never mind then," Lucius said, "I have —"

"Rowan, what do you think of the Ballycastle Bats? I know they're second —" Draco came to a stop in front of her and his father, glancing up from the thick biography in his hands, his silver eyes widening slightly. "Father. What are you doing here?"

Lucius gave a small chuckle. "What does it look like I am doing, Draco? Shopping, of course."

Draco looked uneasy. "Right. Well, Rowan and I were just—"

"Rowan was looking at purchasing a couple of autobiographies by former Magpie players," Lucius said, and he sounded delighted. "An excellent choice, if you ask me."

Draco glanced into his father's basket. "Why are they in your —"

"I'll be paying for them," Lucius quipped, his eyes landing on Rowan. "We are family now, of course."

"Wha —"

"Your father and I were tipped off by the eldest Greengrass daughter," Lucius said, and then looked back up at Rowan. "I am pleased to hear you have settled with such a respectable young lady, Draco."

Daphne had told their fathers about their relationship? Rowan felt a surge of anger, but it seemed to simmer quickly because she was confused. Lucius seemed rather happy by the whole ordeal...

"Right." Draco cleared his throat. "And will Rowan's father be popping around a corner any moment to give us his blessing? If so, I think we'll be —"

"Mr Yaxley is not here, though I suggest you put some respect on his name, Draco," Lucius hissed quietly, warning in his eyes. "He did great things for us during the war."

Rowan felt her skin crawl. Her father had done awful things. She spent all of her first year at Hogwarts learning more and more from classmates and older years. She'd had to meet children of the families he'd impacted. Orphans.

Draco's hand touched the small of her back. It was comforting.

"Rowan and I need to leave," Draco said, and then reached forward with his other hand to pluck Rowan's books out of his father's basket. "I will be paying for these. Thank you for your... blessing."

Draco began to tug Rowan away, but Rowan turned to Lucius. "It's been a pleasure, Mr Malfoy," she forced out.

Lucius' grin was cat-like. "Likewise, Miss Yaxley."

...

"I am so glad my father approves of our relationship. Aren't you, Rowan?"

Draco's loud and obvious tone caused Rowan to glance up from her book, her nose scrunched and her eyebrows furrowed until she saw the smirk on his face. Her eyes shifted ever so slightly to the left where Daphne had settled by the fire. Rowan didn't know if Daphne's cheeks had gone red because of what Draco had said or because of the heat.

"So pleased, Draco," Rowan grinned back. "I'm glad that he thinks there is nobody better for you."

"It was very nice of him to invite you on our annual summer trip to France," Draco agreed mockingly. "I just know you'll fit right in."

"Well, your father did say the exact same thing!"

Watching Daphne hurry to stand up and rush to her dorm was the most satisfying to come out of the day — and it had been a long one. Pansy raised an eyebrow, planting onto the seat next to Rowan.

"Not that I am mad that Greengrass ran off with tears in her eyes, but what was that?" Pansy chuckled.

"Greengrass thought it would be funny to tell our fathers about us," Rowan said, gesturing between herself and Draco. "Mr Malfoy spoke to us about it in the bookstore at Hogsmeade. He actually approves of us — so that certainly backfired."

"Mr Malfoy approves?" Pansy looked so surprised that Rowan found herself a bit offended.

"I think so," Rowan said, scrunching her nose. "The whole situation was a bit... unsettling."

"That's my father for you," Draco replied, "Unsettling."

Rowan scoffed. She knew all too well what Draco meant. She found herself reaching out and grabbing his hand, her thumb tracing calming circles against his skin. He smiled ever so slightly at her and Rowan glanced away with heated cheeks, only for her eyes to land on Pansy. The ebony-haired girl sat with a raised eyebrow, her green eyes darting between Rowan and Draco.

Shit.

"You actually like him!" Pansy accused, wagging a finger at Rowan as soon as they were both alone in the bathroom later on that evening. "Rowan, even if you don't realise it, you have caught feelings for Malfoy —"

"I realise it," Rowan huffed and watched as Pansy's eyes widened even more. "I am so fucking screwed, Pans."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Pansy rambled, and pressed her hands on either side of her face and then jumped again. "Wait!" She snapped as if Rowan had moved an inch, which she hadn't. "You just... You just said..."

It looked as if Pansy was going through all of the stages of grief in the next ten seconds. The last that came, of course, was acceptance. Though Rowan could practically smell the confusion rolling from her best friend.

"You admitted it?" Pansy paced, glancing at the ground, almost like she was talking to herself. "You said... You actually like —" She stood in front of Rowan, pointing a finger. "Don't you dare lie to me right now, Yaxley, because this joke isn't funny —"

"I'm not lying!" Rowan swore, exasperated. "Pansy, why the fuck would I lie about liking Draco?"

"Because that was the plan!" Pansy huffed.

She ran a hand through her short bob, her dark hair immediately falling back into place. Her pale skin looked flushed as she raised her finger to bite on it, her brows furrowed.

"This is really bad," Pansy finally said.

"No shit," Rowan scoffed.

"You like Draco Malfoy," Pansy confirmed to herself, running things through in her head. "But... You have to at some point break his heart and admit to him that all of this was one big joke in which his feelings are ultimately supposed to get destroyed?"

Rowan shot Pansy an angry look. "Oh, wow, I completely forgot about that part," she spat sarcastically.

"Don't you get funny with me!" Pansy warned threateningly, "This isn't my fault —"

"If we hadn't done the Unbreakable Vow!" Rowan huffed, but couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.

Pansy's eyes widened. "Shit!" She cried, "Oh Merlin."

"It's not your fault," Rowan exhaled, leaning against the sinks. "I know none of it is your fault, Pansy. I made the stupid fucking mistake of thinking I could play the pawn in Theo's game."

"I told you it was a good idea," Pansy sighed, "So did Blaise. And Theo is to blame too. This isn't all on you."

"It is Draco and I that are going to suffer for it," Rowan croaked, and panicked when she felt her throat tighten and her eyes well up with hot tears. "Fuck. Shit. Don't look at me."

"I think this is a reasonable time to cry," Pansy scoffed, elbowing her best friend. "Go ahead."

"No, no," Rowan shrugged her off. "I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself. I don't. I just feel sorry for him."

Pansy looked surprised for a moment, as if she couldn't comprehend that Rowan actually felt bad for Draco Malfoy — someone that she had sworn to absolutely despise with every single atom of her being for years now.

"It's okay," Pansy murmured, squeezing Rowan's arm. "We can go to Theo. We'll come up with some excuse and find a way to get you out of this me—"

Rowan gave a bitter laugh. "Nott will be no help whatsoever!" Now Rowan sounded truly angry.

"What do you mean?" Pansy's brows knitted together in confusion. "Have you already spoken to him about it?"

"Just over a week ago." Rowan nodded. "Only he told me that there's no way I am getting out of this. Nott hates Draco."

"That's ridiculous!" Pansy growled, "You're one of his best friends and he's —"

"Nott likes me," Rowan blurted, "I — It's made him angrier, Pans! At first it was just about Lorelei Robertson, but now he's angry that Draco has me! How fucking ridiculous is that?"

"He pushed you two together!" Pansy shrieked, "He sought you out of every single girl in this entire school for his Plan!"

"I know!" Rowan complained, "But now I think Nott's mad because Draco knew Nott fancied me back in the day, and Draco never went to Nott about dating me. I think he actually has issues, Pans! I didn't realise how extreme all of this was because I was so wrapped up in how much I hated Draco at the time!"

Pansy buried her face into her hands. "Nott is terrifyingly out of touch... I think we were a bit, too."

Rowan nodded quickly. "And it scares me. I've never..." Rowan's cheeks began to heat up. "I've never liked someone so much in my life, Pansy."

Pansy pursed her lips together. Her green eyes were sad. Unfortunately, Rowan's best friend would not be pulling any Slytherin tricks out of her sleeve tonight.

Pansy's hug was defeat and sympathy.

...

( Wednesday 4th March 1998 )

Pansy had not stopped glaring at Theo for four days. Rowan always subtly nudged her when she caught it happening. The last thing she needed was Draco seeing and asking what was going on. Luckily, Draco seemed to pay no attention to Pansy. It was either Rowan, NEWT work, or Quidditch. Rowan was glad he had no time to really hang out with Theo.

Theo noticed Pansy's glares and was definitely smart enough to piece together the fact that Rowan had told Pansy everything. Whether he cared or not, Rowan didn't know. He didn't approach her. In fact, Theo acted as if Rowan didn't exist half of the time. He mostly kept to himself or Blaise.

Thankfully, Theo wasn't at breakfast that morning. Pansy had invited Nancy over to their table, and the two girls sat in their own little world. They were laughing over something to do with Nancy's Charms homework or something, but Rowan was paying no attention.

When she wasn't thinking of Theo and The Plan (or suffering from the stress of the upcoming NEWTs), Rowan was busy thinking about Quidditch.

Quidditch, Quidditch, Quidditch...

Instead of breakfast, Rowan had a book called 'A Wizard's Guide: The Art of Chasing' in front of her. She thought the title was a bit sexist, and so were all of the diagrams of just men inside, but she ignored it. However, all it was telling her was everything she already knew.

"The best way for us to win is to practise," Draco said, and his large hand came down to close the book right in front of her. He ignored her glare. "No more reading, I think. We've done enough of it over the past few days. What we need to do is work our arses off on that field until April 20th."

Rowan sighed heavily. "It just feels like, when I'm not practising, I should be at least immersing myself in a Quidditch book so I feel like I'm doing something."

"I know what you mean," Draco replied, "I keep thinking about it, too."

Rowan gave another loud exhale, as if the tension in her chest was just air she was trying to get rid of. When Draco pushed a plate of toast in front of her and whipped his wand so the knife magically buttered it up, she couldn't help but give the smallest smile before tucking in.

"What class is first?" She muttered after a few moments.

Draco raised a brow.

"What?" She huffed. "My mind has been preoccupied."

"Not about that," Draco scoffed, and then reached forwards to quickly brush a crumb from her face. "You are talking with your mouth full."

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Oh, Merlin. I am so sorry, Malfoy."

"You should be," Draco replied, "And it's Transfiguration with Flitwick."

"Ah, an easy one," Rowan praised.

"E–Er, Yaxley?"

The dark-haired girl jumped, turning her neck to look behind her. She recognised the voice as Daphne's instantly, but was surprised when she saw the girl herself standing there, looking timid and slightly angry.

"Yes?" Rowan replied harshly.

"I wanted to, er, apologise. For telling your father about you and M-Malfoy," Daphne spoke, completely avoiding eye contact with Rowan. "It could have led to terrible repercussions."

Rowan scoffed. "Which is exactly why you did it."

Daphne swallowed harshly and clenched her jaw ever so slightly. "Would you just accept my apology?"

Pansy had stopped paying attention to Nancy to watch. Draco no longer traced patterns on the back of her hand. His silver eyes watched her face as it scrunched up in disbelief.

Rowan released a bitter laugh. "I'll accept any apology you have to give me when it's the only way to stop the world ending. Until then, fuck off, Greengrass."

Daphne opened her mouth, but shut it again. She shot Rowan one last glare and stormed over in the direction of Millicent and Tracey.

Rowan elbowed Draco.

"Ow," Draco said dramatically, holding his chest. "What was that for?"

"You told her to apologise to me."

"Threatened and forced, more like," Blaise added from the other side of Draco.

His laugh was cut short by Draco's harsh glare.

"Sorry," Blaise muttered, and cast his gaze elsewhere.

"I don't need Greengrass apologising to me when she doesn't mean it," Rowan scoffed, "Saying sorry means absolutely nothing. It's about your actions."

Draco furrowed his brows. "I thought it'd make you feel better."

Rowan laughed. "It'd make me feel better if she disappeared off the face of this earth."

For a moment, the blond Slytherin held a thoughtful look on his face.

"Don't you dare!" Rowan wagged a finger at him. "I don't need you going to Azkaban anytime soon. We have a rather important Quidditch game coming up."

Draco huffed and folded his arms across his broad chest. "If that's all I'm good for..." He said dramatically.

Rowan rolled her eyes with a grin. She leaned in, grabbed his jaw gently, and pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

"That's not all you're good for," she said, her manicured black nails stroking the very faint stubble across his jaw, making him shiver ever so slightly. "I also happen to like you very much and would like you to stick around."

"Fair enough," he murmured, "Now give me a proper kiss."

Rowan grinned, and despite Blaise's dramatic gagging sound, leaned in to kiss Draco.

...

( Friday 6th March 1998 )

Rowan sighed as she brushed through her hair, her head clogged with memories of the Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff match. She kept thinking about Ginny Weasley's cocky smirk, and how elated Harry Potter had been when the Snitch was finally his, making a home in his hand. Gryffindor had won every year since Rowan had attended Hogwarts. She began to feel like this year wouldn't be much different at all.

"What's with the pout?"

Rowan's gaze flickered to meet Pansy's through the mirror.

"Quidditch stuff," Rowan grumbled.

"Ugh," Pansy rolled her eyes. "The match isn't for another month. Why are you so–"

"'Cause Gryffindor now has more points than us, Pansy. That means I'm going to have to work my bloody arse off just to —"

"Oh, come on, Row!" Pansy huffed, moving around and patting the top of her head. "You'll do perfectly! Slytherin are way better this year than they ever have been —"

"But so are Gryffindor, and —"

"Zip it!" The short-haired girl ordered, "Any more Quidditch talk and I'll blow up."

Rowan sighed heavily. "Sorry," she muttered, and yanked her legs up to hug her knees, leaning back in the wooden chair she sat on. "But you asked what the pout was for."

"And I thought you'd say something other than that stupid sport," Pansy laughed back and stroked a lock of Rowan's hair. "Maybe try and remember it's just a school sport. Malfoy's put so much pressure on it all, but —"

"No," Rowan huffed, "It's not just a school sport to me. It's my last ever match. It's my last chance to make my mark on Hogwarts, and to just... I don't know. To do something right before everything..."

"Goes to shit?" Pansy offered with a heavy sigh. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Rowan mumbled.

"I said you and Theo should do the Unbreakable Vow —"

"You were trying to protect me." Rowan shook her head. "Neither of us thought this would blow back up in my face."

"And yet it has — severely."

The two girls sat around in silence for a few moments. Rowan fiddled with the bottom of the Slytherin jumper that she wore and inhaled deeply.

"It feels like there's too much going on right now," Rowan admitted, "Between the whole Theo situation, and The Plan, and then my father, and NEWTs and Quidditch. I might just quit being a prefect to make some more time."

Pansy furrowed her eyebrows. "There was nothing you wanted more than to become a prefect! You worked your arse off in the fourth year to get Snape to notice you over Greengrass."

"And I accomplished it, and now I need to focus on the next biggest thing," Rowan agreed.

"Well, I just think you'd really be letting your younger self down. And then who would get prefect? Greengrass? Merlin, Rowan, I don't think I could handle the smug look on her face when she finds out she's —"

"Okay, nevermind," Rowan muttered bitterly, "I won't give it up if it means Greengrass would get my spot."

Pansy scoffed in amusement. "Good. You will be fine. I will help you with revision, and you could ask some of the younger prefects to pick up on some more duties."

"Good idea," Rowan said, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Hmm..." Pansy pulled a face as if deep in thought. "Because I am clever and you are not?"

Rowan barked a short laugh and turned to shove the girl behind her. "You've lost your mind if you believe that!"

"The evidence is in the pie... or whatever it is they say," Pansy shrugged.

...

(Tuesday 10th March 1998)

The day before, Quidditch practice had been cancelled due to the fact that both Draco and Rowan had their prefect duties. Rowan was more than ready to get out on the pitch since it had been a warm, dry day, but much to her horror, she had started her period that morning.

Periods were never good for Rowan. Pansy seemed to get by with a warming charm over her stomach and a potion or two, but they rarely seemed to touch Rowan's aches. It felt like she was being ripped into two as she stood on the pitch alongside her male peers, silently furious that none of them would ever have to go through what she did every month.

Perhaps the added stress of how much the next Quidditch game meant to her was adding to her pain. Her hair was tied back into two plaits, off her face like always, and she wore her uniform and gripped her broom in one hand.

Draco was delivering commands to everybody, however, Rowan was currently fighting the urge to crouch in an attempt to soothe a ripple of hot stabs in her abdomen.

"Yaxley," Draco snapped, "Well?"

Rowan blinked and realised everybody was flying upwards to position themselves for a practice game. She sent Draco a glare for getting angry with her. Her hormones were all over the place — he should know better. To be fair, she only started her period today and Draco had no idea, but still...

"What's wrong?" Draco said.

"Nothing," Rowan huffed, and flew upwards on her broom, placing herself halfway between Blaise and Clay.

Draco scoffed and shook his head, clearly trying not to seem irritated as he called for practice to start. The substitutes acted as the other team, and they were good, but not good enough. Playing her favourite sport took her mind off of her period problems for a short while, until a cramp hit her so hard that it felt as though she had been struck by a Bludger.

"You okay, Rowan?" Blaise asked her, brows furrowed as he paused beside her.

"Yeah, fine," Rowan muttered, adjusting her grip and surging forwards to look for the Quaffle.

The game seemed to go on forever. It finished after an hour and a half when Draco caught the Quaffle. Rowan had scored about one hundred and eighty points. Nowhere near her personal best, and definitely a decline from her most recent practice performances.

She could tell Draco had noticed, yet he didn't call her out for it like he would have merely months ago. When they were packing away, a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Are you sick?" Draco demanded, "You did awful."

Rowan rolled her eyes and shot him a sarcastic smile. "Merlin, Malfoy. You really know how to make a girl feel good about themselves."

"Oh, the Malfoy card now?" Draco raised a brow. "Have I done something?"

"No!" Rowan said frustrated, and started a brisk walk to the exit of the pitch. "Why does everything revolve around you?"

"Did I say that?" Draco scoffed.

"You imply it!" Rowan snapped, and nearly paused in her place when a cramp felt as though her legs were being torn from the rest of her body. "Stop following me."

"You're being ridiculous!" Draco snapped, "And you're making me look like a twat in front of the team."

Rowan turned around, feeling flashes of anger, and feigned a cooing noise. "Oh! Oh dear. Oh, I'm so sorry, Malfoy. I would never want to make you look like a twat in front of all of your boyfriends!"

Draco's face scrunched up. "Are you on your period or something?"

Rowan's gasp was so loud that Draco nearly flinched.

"How dare you?" She cried, "How dare you see a woman express an angry emotion, one that men express all of the time and you never bat an eyelash to, and assume they are on their period?!"

"I–" Draco looked stunned, taking a step back, signs of panic in his furrowed brows. "Well, I– There's no—"

"Maybe I was just shit at Quidditch today. Maybe today is just not my day!"

Rowan stomped away, and this time Draco didn't follow. Somehow, that only made her angrier. Yet, she was sure that if he had followed, she would have found a problem in that too. She felt frustrated with herself for being so emotional and ruining things for nobody else but her own self.

Once she got back to the dormitory, she showered and buried herself in her bed. Nestling in the duvet, she rested her head on a stack of the comfiest pillows, ripping one out and casting a strong heating charm on it. She lifted her bed shirt and jammed it up there, hoping it would be enough to deter some of the cramps.

Stress filled her head. Knowing that she was going to have to beat records to beat Gryffindor next month made her feel sicker, as well as the NEWTs coming up. Then came the whole Theo-liking-and-hating-her situation, as well as The Plan that would inevitably ruin her relationship with Draco in the coming months. Let's not forget her horrible father she may end up having to move back in with once school was over in June!

Rowan groaned into her pillow. It was a Friday and she was sad and she wanted Draco and that made her feel worse. Where was he? Why wasn't he coming to get her? Yeah, she'd told him to go away, but why wasn't he crawling back to her with some sort of new potion he'd invented that would cure every stress and —

There was a knock at the dormitory door. Rowan groaned.

"Everyone's out," Rowan called back, her voice muffled by her many pillows.

"I'm here for you, idiot," Draco's huff came back.

Rowan felt her heart skip a beat. She sat up, ran her hands through her hair to fix the shaggy mess, and climbed out of bed. She opened the door, practically pouting up at the tall boy standing in her door frame.

Draco raised a single brow as he looked down at her. "What is in your shirt?"

Rowan glanced down and realised it was stuffed with her pillow. "It's heated," she grumbled in response.

"Parkinson confirmed my suspicions..." Draco said, edging into the room as Rowan sat down on her bed again. "And she told me your periods aren't easy."

"Horrendous is the word for it," Rowan huffed, "I could die, Draco!"

Draco furrowed his brows. "I must admit," he said as he took a seat on the edge of her bed. "I don't know the first thing about the... menstrual cycle."

Rowan snorted into the pillow she'd buried her head in. "You're such a robot."

He rolled his eyes. "What can I do? How can I make you feel better?"

"Play with my hair," she mumbled.

The mattress creaked as Draco shifted to curl up behind her, his back resting against the headboard. Rowan pressed her head against his chest and wrapped an arm around his torso. She listened to the steady thumping of his heart and pulled her legs up in a fetal position to ease the cramps.

Slender fingers began to rake through her dark hair, twirling around the ends. His nails gently grazed her scalp and massaged around her neck. She hummed into the jumper he was wearing. Draco had her favourite cologne on again.

She had only been with him for just over a month now, and yet nothing had ever felt so natural. If only there wasn't that little voice in the back of her head every now and again, reminding her of what was to come.

Theo was going to ruin her life. She had done it to herself, sure, but he wasn't letting her off the hook now. He had her right where he wanted her, and she couldn't think of a way out that wouldn't end up with her dead or Draco absolutely crushed. Either way, Rowan was pretty sure their relationship was doomed to be short-lived. 

...

hello friends!!

i am back! i think it's been two years (?) since the last chapter. i hope this is okay! the first half was written two (?) years ago, and the last bit i wrote today, but i am back!! this is a bit of a strange chapter to come back with, but i had to familiarise myself with the book and the characters again. luckily i wrote out a plan so everything is on track! 

 i'm hoping to finish this book, and not to worry, you will not be waiting another two years for the next chapter! 

thank you so much for reading :) 

dyiansobrien