"You have a list on how to avoid heartbreaks?" Medyo natatawang tanong ni Orion.

I glared at him for laughing on my list, making him laugh even more and even louder this time!

We were sitting on the edge of the bed but since his laugh annoyed me, I left his side and went back to my seat beside the floor-to-ceiling window.

Sinundan niya ako at mahinang tumawa. Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko, sinusubukang sumeryoso pero hindi talaga napigilan at napangiti na.

"Aww, my baby is mad," aniya sabay palibot ng mga braso sa baywang ko. He then rested his face on my tummy and showered it with kisses. Napakagat-labi ako sa kaniyang ginagawa, pinipigilang tumawa at dumaing dahil sa kiliting nararamdaman.

Nang makuntento siya sa ginagawa, tumingala siya sa akin at saka ako nginitian. "I just find you so adorable. I mean... I didn't expect you'd do such."

Inismiran ko siya at dinala ang tingin sa malaking bintana ngunit ang atensyon ko ay nasa kaniya pa rin, hinihintay ang susunod niyang gagawin.

Tumayo siya sa pagkakaluhod at walang hirap akong kinarga para makaupo siya sa kinauupuan ko at ako naman ay nasa kandungan niya na.

Before I could even react on his sudden move, he hugged me again from the back, then burying his face on my neck.

After all these years, his effect on me is still the same. If something changed, then that would be because his effect intensified even more!

He can take my breath away with a small smile; he can make me feel better with just a few comforting words; and he can make me feel at home with just a hug.

Siya lang ang may ganitong epekto sa akin.

"I'm actually glad you made such," he whispered, his lips now trailing from the back of my ear down to my neck. "It made you stay away from boys and led you to me instead."

I feel like its a mistake that I told him that he's the only person that made my list ineffective and the only person who made me rebel against my rules.

"So confident," I commented, trying sound serious but also just stopping myself from making sounds because of his kisses.

Why am I even mad at the first place?

He held my waist and in one swift motion, I was now facing him. "Of course! My fiancee just told me that I'm the only one who could make her list not work," he said proudly.

Fiancee... I still can't believe that we're engaged!

"It simply means that what she has for me is not shallow... it means that no rules can make her change her heart about me... no rules can make her stop loving me," he continued, but this time, in a soft, soothing voice.

"Well, I guess so..."

"You guess so? So, you're not sure?" Aniya kunyare nagtatampo.

Bahagya akong natawa sa kaniyang inasta at saka napailing. Ipinalibot ko ang mga braso sa kaniyang leeg at ginawang unan ang kaniyang dibdib.

Nanatili kami sa ganoong posisyon hanggang sa umalis ako sa pagkakahilig sa kaniya at masinsinan siyang tinitigan.

"I was too scared of getting hurt that I honestly doubted if I'll ever be in a romantic relationship," I admitted. "But then, I learned that whatever we do, life will always throw challenges at us and hurt us in the process so we could grow. And you, my Orion Vero, are the only person worth hurting for...you're the only person worth risking my heart for... you're the only person who made me want to commit..."

I cupped his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes. I am not good in expressing my feelings but I hope that what I'm saying will assure him how special he is to me and how much he means to me.

"You're the only person who didn't give up on me despite all the times I tried to push you away... the only person who chose to be with me despite all the unlovable traits I have," I continued.

The side of his lips rose and I can tell that he's just forcing himself not to smile.

"Kilig ka noh?" Tanong ko sa nakakatuksong tono.

"Tss! Stop it, London," saway niya ngunit may bahid ng pagkatuwa.

At dahil matigas ang ulo ko, lalo ko pa siyang tinukso. "Sus! Ano ka ba? Ako lang 'to, si London, ang minamahal mo ng todo."

"You really know how to push my buttons..."

Ngumisi ako. "Which buttons?"

Sige, inisin mo pa!

"This button," he answered, then leaning forward and reached for my lips.

I froze when he abruptly kissed me but immediately loosened and returned his kisses. He gently pulled me even closer to him while running a hand on my hair. And before I knew it, we were already both out of breath.

"On the second thought, I guess you should tease me often," he said with a smirk.

Napailing na lang ako sa kaniyang kabaliwan at pumunta na sa kama at nahiga. He did the same and hugged me from the back, then placing a soft peck on the back of my head. It was the last thing I remembered before I dozed off.

The following day, we went back to Massachusetts as planned. Dumiretso kami sa kaniya-kaniyang condo para makapagpahinga at susunduin lang daw ulit ako bukas dahil may pupuntahan kami.

Everything happened so fast that our trip to Minnesota felt so surreal. I mean, who would've thought that I'd be coming back engaged?

I never thought that my life would be like this. I never thought that I'll get through everything that has happened.

Parang kailan lang, mag-isa akong umiiyak dahil sa mga nangyari. Parang kailan lang, masama pa ang loob ko kay Orion.

But now, everything started to make sense. Everything I went through were just preparing me for this wonderful moment.

Life toughened me first before making me happy. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I'm actually grateful for it.

Hindi man naging madali ang mga nagdaang taon, hindi ko naman maipagkakaila na kung hindi ko naranasan ang mga paghihirap na iyon, hindi ako magiging matatag; hindi ko matutunan kung ano ang totoong pagmamahal.

Kahit nasasaktan, ang puso ay patuloy pa rin na magmamahal. Kahit nahihirapan, ipinagpapatuloy pa rin ang buhay.

And I think this is my favorite glow-up of all time— seeing my life unfold into something better than I hoped it would be; being able to face my fears and growing because of it; witnessing my heartbreaks turn into happiness and blessings in disguise.

"Every time we go here, the place always looks better than the previous times we visited," I pointed out, then roaming my eyes around the place.

Orion brought me to the garden where we used to go to before. The place where we ate before he left for Dubai and I was only at college at that time. And if I'm not mistaken, that was about nine years ago.

"It feels like we were just here yesterday," aniya, mukhang inaalala rin ang nakaraan. "That time, we weren't even together. But now, we're here and engaged."

I smiled on what he said. The memories of those times— the times when I told myself that he just smells good but I don't actually like him, are still vivid on my mind.

I heaved a deep sigh of relief and closed my eyes for a bit, enjoying the crisp air of the night.

He led me to a familiar pathway which was scattered with colorful petals which then led us to the gazebo. Just by looking at it, I could tell that it was repainted.

The antique-white, classical doric column is bursting with vibrant colors from the flowering vines adorned on it. The whole gazebo was lit by fairy lights and twine lanterns; emitting a romantic and fairytale-like ambience.

We made ourselves comfortable on the couches while waiting for our food. After we had our three course meal, Orion invited me for a walk around the place.

"This place is so romantic," I gushed, gesturing to our surroundings. "If we're not engaged, I'd probably think that you'd propose here."

"You think so?" Aniya sa mababang boses at niyakap ako mula sa likuran.

"Mhmm..." I leaned on his chest, savoring the moment so it would be engraved on my heart and mind.

"Then you are right."

Mabilis kong iminulat ang mga mata at nalilito siyang tinitigan kahit nahihirapan sapagkat nasa likuran ko pa rin siya.

Ngumiti lang siya sa akin bago dinala ang mga mata sa magkahawak naming kamay kaya napatingin din ako roon.

I let out a gasp when I saw that he's holding another ring. It was on the tip of my finger and it seems to me that he's just waiting before he slips it in.

I faced him, both surprised and confused on what's going on. He only smiled again and gestured at my back.

I did as I was told and was taken aback to see that the whole garden is now lit by fairy lights. What caught my attention the most are the ones that formed the words "Will you marry me?"

"What's happening—" I asked, then turning my back so I could face him. "—Oh my gosh! What... what's..." I trailed off, speechless to see him kneeling.

"You're right, this is my plan," aniya, sinusubukang sumeryoso pero natatawa pa rin. "I know that I proposed to you already but this is actually the proposal that I first planned. And second, you might think that these are too much but I honestly think you deserve all of these, London."

"I know the past years weren't easy for us and I know that I caused you your heartbreak," he continued. "But I hope that you'll let me make it up to you for breaking your heart by showing how much I love you in the everyday of your life."

"Oh come on!" Iyon lang ang nasabi ko dahil naiiyak na.

"Will you, Lorelle Andionna Farello, the maker of the list on how to avoid heartbreaks, marry me?"

"I already said yes to you!" Sabi ko at tuluyan nang umiyak.

"Hmm... then will you let me slip another ring on your finger?"

Bigla akong natawa sa kaniyang sinabi pero agad din namang tumango.

"Yes, my squid, you definitely can," I said in between laughs and sobs, then giving him my hand.

Kagat-labi niyang pinasok ang singsing saaking daliri. Unlike the one he first gave me, this one has a band embedded with small gems while a bigger diamond is on the middle.

Tumayo siyang malaki ang mga ngiti at saka ako niyakap. Hinalik-halikan ko ang buo niyang mukha na ikinatawa naman naming dalawa.

This is another episode of me having that "feeling" or sudden rush of emotion that feels so good and beautiful that it actually aches.

I cupped both of his cheeks while everything that happened between us flashed in my mind. Those memories, especially the not-so-good ones, made me smile. They no longer hurt me, instead, they are now engraved in my heart and mind as stepping stones that led us to this... to where we are right now.

I may had my fair share of heartbreaks but I don't regret any of it. Even though I got hurt in the process, I don't regret being with him.

Being with Orion made me realize that we shouldn't be afraid of getting our hearts broken. Instead, what we should be afraid of is not knowing what love is and not experiencing it firsthand.

Getting our hearts broken is just part of the process; it's part of life. We'll learn from it and we'll grow because of it.

Heartbreaks may make us weak at first but after that, it'll make us realize how strong we are.

I don't regret getting hurt because of him because it made me realize how much I love him despite of that. But I'll surely regret if I didn't take the risk to be with him.

Losing the chance to be with a wonderful person because of being scared of heartbreaks is the real heartbreak.

He brought my hand to his lips, then caressing the rings with his thumb. His eyes met mine and he smiled again.

No words need to be said because I know that he can feel what I'm feeling too. His smile and the contented look on his face is enough for me.

I looked up to the sky and whispered a silent prayer of gratitude to Him for blessing me this amazing man.

I smiled lovingly at him— at the man who made me realize that I'm capable of loving; the man who made me realize that heartbreaks are part of life; the man who made me disobey my rules.

He is my heartbreaker and my one and only squid.

He is Orion Vero Alvarez, the man who made me rebel against my list on how to avoid heartbreaks.