"Ate! Gising na! Mag-aalas sais na ng gabi!" Agad akong nagising dahil sa sigaw ng peste kong kapatid na hindi pa nakuntento at niyugyog pa ang mga balikat ko.

"Ano naman ang paki ko kung a las sais na? Early pa naman—" napabangon ako sa gulat nang mag-sink in ang sinabi niya. "Ha? Ba't ang bilis? Gabi na?!"

Dali-dali akong umalis sa kama at kumaripas ng takbo papuntang banyo. Rinig na rinig ko ang halakhak niya kaya bigla akong nagduda at lumabas ng banyo.

"Naku! Ang bilis mong maloko, ate!" Natatawa niyang sabi kaya binatukan ko. "Uso kasi ang fact checking."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin ngunit ngumisi lang ang baliw. "Walang hiya ka, Brooklyn! A las siete pa lang ng umaga, ah!"

Bumelat lang ang bruha at pinakialamanan na ang mga gamit ko. Gusto ko man siyang hampasin sa inis, pinigilan ko na lang ang sarili at pumasok na sa banyo para maligo.

Buong oras na naliligo ako, pinag-iisipan ko kung paano makaganti sa kapatid. Hindi pwedeng wala akong gawin dahil sa pag-istorbo niya ng tulog ko!

Pagod na pagod pa ako dahil kahapong umaga lang kami dumating dito. Pagkatapos naming magpahinga, tumulong kaagad kami sa pag-aayos ng bahay at paghahanda ng mga kagamitan para sa Christmas party.

"Huwag ka na magalit. Christmas na bukas, give love ate! Give love!" Aniya nang makalabas ako ng banyo na masama ang tingin sa kaniya. Nagpa-cute pa siya sa akin ngunit hindi naman iyon nakatulong.

"Nakakasuka ka!" I said, rolling my eyes. Bago pa ako makapagtanong kung nasaan si Orion, pumasok na ang isa kong kapatid na feeling Koreana.

"Annyeong unnie! Gising ka na pala, kanina pa kasi gising ang aking oppa," Paris greeted while lowering her head as if bowing to me.

Napailing na lang ako dahil sa kapatid. Hindi ko alam na hanggang ngayon, kina-career niya pa rin ang pagiging K-drama fan.

"Ate, ang bait pala ni oppa! Botong-boto ako sa kaniya!" Aniya at sinabayan na ang kakambal sa paghahalukay ng mga kagamitan ko.

Napangiti ako sa narinig at biglang nawala ang inis ko sa isa. Buti naman at nagustuhan nila si Orion. Hindi naman kasi mahirap magustuhan ang gwapong squid na iyon!

"That's nice to hear!"

"Oo ate!" Aniya at saka tumango. "Sa sobrang bait, gusto kitang ipagpalit sa kaniya."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin kaya agad na nag-finger heart sa akin.

"Oo nga, ate! Kung 'di mo lang siya jowa, baka inadopt na siya ni mama," dagdag pa ng isang bruha.

"Actually, gusto ko rin kayong ipamigay. Ang problema lang ay walang gustong tumanggap sa inyo," sagot ko sa dalawa sabay ngisi. Akala siguro nila magpapatalo ako.

Patuloy kaming nagtuksuhan hanggang sa tinawag na sila ni mama at ako naman ay bumalik na sa banyo para makapagbihis. Ang una kong nakita ay ang repleksyon ko. Naka-bathrobe lang ako kaya kitang-kita ang mga peklat na natama ko noong nakaraan.

I stared at my reflection and my eyes immediately went to the scars on my chest. I brought my shaking hands to it, feeling the marks on my skin.

My wounds are all healed so it doesn't hurt when I touch them. But every time I see my scars, I feel suffocated. Seeing them feels like someone is strangling me.

"Hey, are you okay?" My destructive thoughts were cut off when I heard a familiar voice.

I looked at Orion who was casually leaning on the doorframe. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice him until he spoke.

"Not really..." I answered honestly. He's the only person whom I feel comfortable in sharing what I actually feel. "I want my scars removed."

He didn't say anything so I continued, "I don't really mind having them on my skin since they're proofs that... I survived... and healed... from something that was once hurting me. It means that the hurting is over."

"It's just that every time I see them, they remind me of how I felt that time. They remind me how hurt I was. Seeing them everyday on my body is also like being reminded of... w-what happened..." I trailed off. This is the reason why I don't like talking about this topic because I just get too emotional and dramatic.

"Seeing them feels like someone's hand is on my neck, Orion. It's as if someone is strangling and suffocating me. Seeing my scars feels like going through what happened all over again," I continued, just realizing that I was already crying.

He rushed to my side and held my waist. He then held my chin and made me look at him before wiping my tears.

He gave me an assuring smile and moved even closer to me. I thought he's gonna hug me but I was mistaken.

He lowered his head, leveling his face to my chest before placing a soft kiss on my scars.

I was rooted in place and my heart was hammering on what he's doing. I'm pretty sure that he can feel my pounding heartbeat while he's doing it.

I thought one peck would suffice for him but instead, he didn't stop and just continued showering light, feathery kisses on my scars. He did it from my chest, then to my neck and up until my lips.

Hindi pa siya nakuntento at ipinagpatuloy iyon sa tungki ng ilong ko hanggang sa makarating ang kaniyang mga labi sa aking noo.

Napatingin ako sa may repleksyon namin at agad na napaayos ng tayo dahil sa nakita. I just realized that because of what he's doing a while ago, I unconsciously arched my back and tilted my neck.

Biglang uminit ang katawan ko kaya napahilamos ako. Pagkatapos punasan ang mukha, bumalik ako sa harapan niya at ipinalibot ang mga braso sa kaniyang baywang.

What he did was a simple gesture but it was something I didn't expect and something that my overreacting self definitely can't handle.

"If you want them removed, I know a good dermatologist. I'll support you in that," he said with a smile. "But for now, I'll shower the parts you don't like about yourself with love and kisses."

Hindi kaagad ako nakasagot dahil sa huli niyang sinabi. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o kikiligin o ano. Ang seryoso ng usapan namin tapos bigla-bigla na lang siyang bumabanat. Pero kahit ganoon, nakakataba ng puso na marinig siyang magsabi ng ganoon.

"I thought you were gonna talk me out of it."

"I can't just talk you out of something that will help you feel better. I'm not the one who can feel your pain. So who am I to stop you from doing something that will help you heal?" Sagot niya na ikinangiti ko.

Hearing him say these kind of things just makes my heart flutter. This is the reason why I feel comfortable in sharing with him whatever it is that I'm feeling because he never once judged me nor made me feel bad about it.

"Thank you," I mouthed.

Ever since that incident happened, this is only the second time that we talked about a topic connected to it. Thinking and talking about what happened would just trigger the memories and the pain to come back so I prefer to pretend that it didn't happen at all.

"Anytime," he whispered, then resting his chin on top of my head. "Why don't you change now? Your mom's quite excited for your annual petit déjeuner et cadeaux."

Napangisi ako sa narinig. I would be lying if I say that I didn't find it hot and attractive when he spoke in French.

Petit déjeuner et cadeaux literally means "breakfast and gifts". It is our family tradition where we give our gifts to each other the day before Christmas during breakfast. We couldn't do it on Christmas day itself since we always host a party.

This is the first time that someone who isn't part of our family will join our tradition. Mula noon, kami nila mama, dad, at ng tatlo kong kapatid lang ang gumagawa nito. Pero ngayon, may bago na kaming kasapi at iyon ay si Orion.

Bigla akong na-excite kaya dali-dali akong nagbihis. Pagkalabas ko ng walk in closet, nakaupo si Orion sa may paanan ng kama habang kandong ang mga regalo. Katulad ko, nakapagbihis na rin siya.

He's wearing a red turtleneck sweaters and a pair of black sweatpants. As much as I don't want to admit it, Paris is right! He looks like one of those K-drama actors especially now because of what he's wearing.

I whistled teasingly and wiggled my brows, then gesturing him a finger-heart.

Natawa siya sa ginawa ko bago tinapik ang espasyo sa tabi niya. Pagkaupo ko, niyakap ko siya sa tagiliran at sinandal ang ulo sa balikat niya.

"Let's just give our gifts later," I said.

Sandali kaming nanatili sa kuwarto bago lumabas. Kami na lang yata ang hinihintay nila at katulad namin, handa na rin ang mga regalo nila.

"Good morning sa lahat except sa dalawang bruha!" Magiliw kong bati.

Dahil hindi ito katulad ng karaniwang agahan namin, sa sahig kami umuupo at ang mesa namin ay katulad ng sa mga Koreans.

"Bruha daw ako ma?" Madramang tanong ni Brooklyn sabay baling kay mama.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Ba't ka nag-react? Wala akong sinabing pangalan."

Bumelat ako sa kapatid bago naupo. Siyempre magkatabi kami ni Orion!

Nagsimula na kaming kumain at nagbigayan na ng regalo. I gave my parents matching bracelets with personalized engravings while they gace me a diamond cross necklace. Iyong mga kapatid ko naman, binigyan ako ng Polaroid camera.

"Pinag-ipunan namin 'yan!" Proud na sabi ni Paris.

"Weh? Baka ninakaw niyo lang 'to?" Tukso ko sabay tawa. Hindi na sumagot ang dalawa at sinamaan lang ako ng tingin.

Binigay na rin ni Orion ang mga regalo nila na ikinatuwa naman nila. Among all of them, mom was the happiest. Masayang-masaya siya dahil may bago na naman daw siyang mga plato na idi-display.

"I'm glad you like it, mama," magiliw na sagot ni Orion nang nagpasalamat si mama sa kaniya.

"Mama? Ano ka? Adopted?" Bulong ko sa katabi.

"Hindi, future son-in-law lang."

Napanganga ako dahil sa narinig, hindi inasahan na ganoon ang isasagot niya. This guy's mouth is really something!

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang isasagot kaya nanahimik na lang ako. My silence made him chuckle. Inakbayan niya ako kaya umusog ako papalapit sa kaniya.

"Hala PDA!" OA na sigaw ni Brooklyn sabay turo sa direksyon namin.

"Hala epal!" Sigaw ko pabalik sabay kopya ng ginawa niya.

Tumawa silang lahat dahil doon. Hindi ko alam kung mukha ba akong joker o sadyang happy pill lang talaga nila ako.

Mama then told my sisters to get their gift for Orion. I'm actually really curious about it since they didn't tell me what they have for him.

Crescent handed him a large paper bag which he then accepted with a grateful smile.

Kinandong ko ang kapatid habang pinagmamasdan naming lahat si Orion na maingat na binubuksan ang paper bag na mukhang hindi makapaniwala na may regalo sila para sa kaniya.

He then pulled out what seems to be a frame. It was as big as a laptop but before I could even give it a proper look, I got distracted by his reaction.

He was gaping at it which made me even curious. Napatingin ako sa hinahawakan niya at nakitang painting iyon na naka-frame.

"Oh my gosh! That's us!" Gulat kong sambit sabay turo sa painting.

It was a selfie of us when we went on a date. I sent it to our family group chat to flex.

"You like it?" Paris asked. "We painted that."

"Wow... just wow!" Ani Orion na tutok na tutok pa rin ang mga mata sa regalo. "Thank you for this." Sandali niyang inangat ang tingin at isa-isa silang tinitigan bago ibinalik ang mga mata sa painting.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way but seeing him happy makes me really happy as well. Hindi naman ako ang binigyan ng regalo pero nasisiyahan pa rin ako.

Maybe it's because my family accepts him and our relationship? Or I don't know... all I know is that I'm glad to be here... with all of them.

He only stopped looking at the painting when mama told us to take a group picture. I'm sure that he's awed by it but I can't blame him, my parents and sisters are all artistically inclined after all!

Pagkatapos kumuha ng mga litrato, nagligpit na kami para makapaghanda para sa Noche Buena. Natitiyak kong magsisimula nang magsidatingan ang angkan namin.

"Huy!" I snapped my fingers to get Orion's attention.

Bumalik kami sa kwarto para maitago ang mga regalo pero mukhang wala siyang plano na bitawan ang painting.

"Baka ma-in love ka sa painting ha!" Biro ko.

"I already am... especially to this one," sagot niya sabay turo sa mukha ko sa painting.

"Huh?" I scratched my head, not sure if he's just teasing me or not. "Weh?"

He chuckled while shaking his head. He probably expected my reaction to be this way that it didn't come as a surprise to him.

My heart hammered inside my chest because of what he said. But then, I don't want to overthink about it. I'm sure that we'll talk about this some other time.

Pinatong niya ang painting sa kama at saka naglakad palapit sa akin. He wrapped his arms on my waist and pulled me for a hug, then placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

We stayed in that position for a while before a thought popped in my head.

"I want a bangs!"

"Like the haircut?" Nalilito niyang tanong.

Hindi ko mapigilan na ma-weirdohan sa sarili. Just a while ago, I was thinking about "love". But now, I'm thinking about getting a bangs.

"Okay, I'll go to the parlor with you."

I shook my head. "Can you cut my hair?"

"What? You know I could buy you a parlor if you want," aniya, hindi makapaniwala sa request ko.

Umiling ulit ako. "Ayaw. Gusto ko ikaw."

"Gusto rin kita," sagot niya sabay ngisi at kindat.

"Ugh, shet! Teka wait lang—" I said dramatically while placing a hand on my chest. "—As I was saying, before you distracted me with your sweet words, please cut my bangs."

"Are you sure?" Natatawa niyang tanong. "You might regret it."

"Bakit naman? Wala naman akong ikatakot dahil maganda naman ako, Orion," I said matter-of-factly. Sabay kaming tumawa dahil sa sinabi ko.

"Well, I won't argue with that."

"Ah, my heart," pag-arte ko ulit sabay lagay ng isang kamay sa dibdib.

I don't think I'll get used to his teasing words so instead, I'll just mask his effect on me by being dramatic and have a good laugh out of it.

"Let me at least ask some help from your sisters," he said in defeat when I asked him again.

I smiled triumphantly at him before calling my sisters. They then watched lots of video tutorials before he actually cut my hair.

"Wow! You look younger!" Ani mama nang makita ko.

"Paanong younger, ma? Parang kindergarten student ba?" Humalakhak ako sabay nanlalambing na niyakap si mama.

Bago pa siya makasagot, naunahan na siya ni Orion.

"Parang baby ko, ganon," seryoso niyang sagot at nilagpasan kami ni mama at saka dumiretso sa sala.

"Oh my gosh, Orion!" Sigaw ko dahil hindi ko na talaga kayang manahimik na ikinatawa naman nila.

Hindi ba niya alam na malapit na akong mabaliw dahil sa mga banat niya? Akala niya siguro wala siyang epekto sa akin!

Hindi nagtagal, nagsidatingan na ang mga bisita namin.

"Italy!" I shouted when I saw my cousin arrive. He looked around, trying to find me.

Napangiti siya nang makita ako. Ako naman, tumakbo at patalon siyang niyakap. Parang tarsier ako na kumakapit sa kaniya.

The two of us are pretty close since then. I like asking advices from him since he's pretty wise. The only topics he can't give an unbiased advice are the ones that has something to do with the heart. He's quite bitter.

"So, I heard you have a boyfriend?"

I smirked and playfully tossed my hair. "Duh! Ikaw kaya? Kailan ka magseseryoso?"

He frowned on what I said as if he remembered a bad memory. "Mom's looking for you, she's at the kitchen."

Sabay kaming pumunta sa kusina habang nakasimangot pa rin ang pinsan. Mukhang ayaw niyang pag-usapan iyon kaya hindi na ako nagtanong.

"Where's your boyfriend, dear?" Italy's mom asked after giving me a quick hug.

Bago pa ako makapagsagot, pumasok na si Orion. I introduced him to them and what's surprising is that they already know him. Orion and Italy even bro-hugged each other!

Nagsimula na silang mag-usap-usap kaya ako naman ay pumunta sa labas at umupo sa may sofa swing sa front porch ng bahay, hinihintay ang ibang mga bisita.

Hindi nagtagal, lumabas din si Orion at umupo sa tabi ko. He then told me how he noticed that our names are all names of places as well.

"That's only for my dad's side, though," I shared. "My family on mama's side have names that has something to do with nature."

We stayed at the front porch for a while until mama called us. My aunties were all at the kitchen, probably gossiping, while my uncles were at the dining table, talking about either sports or business. The younger ones, on the other hand, were watching an online concert.

Napakaingay nilang manood dahil tili sila nang tili. Sasawayin ko sana sila dahil sa ingay ngunit natandaan kong ganoon din pala ako at minsan sobra pa nga kaya hinayaan ko na lang.

Nighttime came and we all had to change outfits. I wore a red silk dress and did some loose curls on my hair.

Sabik na sabik na akong kumain kaya sa may dining table ako tumambay. Kukuha sana ako ng pagkain pero bago ko pa iyon magawa, tinampal na ng tiyahin ang kamay ko. Aniya raw dapat maghintay muna ako.

Ngumuso ako at pumunta sa isang gilid at doon umupo. Wala akong ganang makipag-usap kahit nino dahil sa kagutuman.

"Psst!"

Nilibot ko ang tingin at hinanap kung saan iyon nanggaling. Nakita ko si Orion sa isang sulok na tinatawag ako.

"Say ah..." aniya nang makalapit ako.

"Ah?"

He smiled before bringing a piece of ham to my mouth. Surprisingly, my mood improved after it.

Finally, the moment I've been waiting for came. They all called us to eat and that's what we did for the whole night while chatting and catching up with each other.

"Merry Christmas!" We all cheered and raised our glasses when the clock struck twelve.

The night became even better when mama gave an announcement.

"Ma! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Sorry, baby. It's just that we had to wait for a while before announcing it. We didn't want everyone's hope to get high and just get disappointed."

"It's okay, I understand," I said, then hugging my mother. "I'm so happy for you."

My parents just announced that mama's pregnant with triplets. She always told us that one of her wishes is to carry even just one of her children in her own womb since the three of us are surrogate children. But now, because of IVF, her wish came true!

"You're really happy, huh?" Orion pointed out.

We were both at the balcony of the room, just admiring the night sky and about to go to sleep.

I nodded at him with a smile.

I leaned on the railings and looked up, silently thanking The Heavens for all the blessings. First, Orion, and now, my siblings.

Naramdaman ko siyang lumapit sa akin. Hinintay ko siyang tumabi sa akin ngunit nanatili siyang nakatayo sa may likuran ko. Napatingin ako sa kaniya at nakitang parang may tinatago siya sa likuran niya.

"Are you hiding something?" I asked, craning my neck to get a glimpse of what he's holding.

"My gift."

Ikaw pa lang, sapat na regalo na.

Slowly, he placed the box he was hiding on the table beside me. I expected it to be another set of fangirling stuffs but I was mistaken.

"That's me!" I exclaimed. "That's my face! In a cake!"

Muntik na akong magka-heart attack nang makita ang laman ng box. It was a cake but its shape was my face and was accurately "designed" to match my features. Kung hindi ko lang nakita ang icing, mapagkakamalang isang drawing iyon!

"Wow! Sinong talented na baker ang gumawa nito?"

"Me," nahihiya niyang sagot na ikinagulat ko naman. Napakamot pa siya ng ulo at hindi makatingin sa akin.

"You? Like you? As in you? Like the Orion you?"

"Yes, me. Like me. As in me. Like the Orion me," he answered, laughing a little.

I stared at him in amazement, still can't believe that he knows how to bake!

"How do I eat this, though?"

"First, slice it. Second, get a fork. Third, use the fork to eat the cake. Simple as that, London."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at ngumuso. Ang pilosopo! Nahawaan na yata ng pagka-pilosopo ko!

"I know how to eat a freaking cake! It's just that the cake is my face so it'd be weird if I slice and eat it!"

He chuckled and pinched my cheeks. I think I drank too much earlier and now I'm easily annoyed and he knows it.

"I'm just kidding, baby. Just eat it like a normal cake."

"But that's my face on it! Can I at least preserve it or something so I could display it?" I asked, pouting. Sayang naman kasi ang effort niya dahil masisira lang iyon kung kakainin ko na pero mas sayang kung tititigan ko lang ito hanggang sa mapanis.

"Just eat it, I can make another one for you."

Napangisi ako sa narinig at dali-dlaing kumuha ng plato at utensils. Kumuha rin ako ng wine para may mainom kami.

"You like it?" He asked eagerly when I tasted the first slice.

Tumango ako at sinubuan siya. "Masarap diba? Ang sarap ko diba?"

"What?" Napaigtad siya at saka umubo-ubo, mukhang nabilaukan.

"Anong what? That's me on the cake so it's like you're eating me. Duh!"

Bakit hindi niya gets? Clear naman ang pagkakasabi ko, ah!

Tutuksuhin ko sana siya dahil ang slow niya ngunit napagtanto ko na parang may mali. Ang pangit pala pakinggan ng sinabi ko kaya nagngiting-aso na lang ako.

"Hindi mo ba ako tatanungin kung anong regalo ko para sa'yo?" Umiling siya kaya napasimangot naman ako. "Huh? Bakit naman? Tanungin mo na ako, sige na!"

"Hmm... okay, what's your gift for me?"

"Me!" Sagot ko at tinuro ang sarili. "I'm the gift!"

Natawa siya sa sinabi ko at doon ko na-confirm na happy pill niya nga ako!

He bit his lower lip, trying to suppress his smile. "Well, the best gift I ever received, I must say."

Tumayo ako at kukunin na sana ang regalo ngunit hinawakan niya ang magkabilang baywang ko nang dumaan ako sa tabi niya at pinaupo ako sa kandungan niya. His arms were encircling my waist while I rested my head on his chest, feeling so comfortable and safe in his arms.

"Orion?" I called.

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me? It's okay to say no—"

"Yes... so much, London... so much that my heart feels so full all the time," sagot niya at mas inilapit ako sa kaniya at lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa akin. Ako naman, nagulat sa kaniyang sagot at umalis sa pagkakahilig sa kaniyang dibdib at tinitigan siya. "It's weird cuz it hurts but in a good way."

"How did you know?" I asked. "Is there some kind of list or something that was made in order for us to know that we're in love? Or maybe a test?"

"I just know, London," he answered with a chuckle. The simplicity of his answer confused me. Napansin niya iyon kaya nagpatuloy siya. "You know what they say about love being a choice right?"

I nodded, waiting attentively to what he's about to say next.

"Well, that's it actually. It's that easy and that hard." He smiled and caressed my hair. "Hard because you have to do it everyday but then... it's you... I don't think choosing to love you everyday and choosing to do what's best for you would be hard."

"Why not?"

"Because it's you," sagot niya ulit na para bang sapat na dahilan na iyon.

"So love is about choosing you and wanting and doing what's best for you?"

"Yup." He nodded. "Love is not selfish, but rather free, total, faithful and fruitful. So in my case, free because no one is forcing me to love you but because I want to; total because there's no conditions; faithful because I'm choosing to be committed to you and only you; and fruitful because our relationship is making me grow and become this person who doesn't only think about himself."

"You're right, it's that easy and that hard," I admitted. "But hey! It's you, my squid! I want what's best for you too and I certainly will choose you everyday... and actually, I've been doing it yet... I just realized it now..."

"Hmm... is this your way of indirectly telling me that you love me?" He asked, trying to be serious but ended up smiling ear-to-ear.

"Yeah... it's not hard to do so since it's you."

"Hmm? Paano mo nasabi?"

"Uh, cause you're Orion Vero Alvarez," I answered with a smile.

"And so what if it's me, London?" Tanong niya, mukhang gusto pa akong pasalitain para kiligin siya.

"Let's just say it feels like the most natural thing to do..." Hinalikan ko ang tungki ng ilong niya na ikinangiti niya ulit. "So yeah... I prefer you over all my favorite desserts." Nag-thumbs up pa ako sa kaniya na nagpahalakhak naman sa kaniya.

"You really have a good way in mixing things up, you know?" He said in an amused tone.

Nanatili akong nakakandong sa kaniya at siya naman ay niyayakap ako mula sa likuran. But from time to time, I would face him when I think of something like questions or just some random facts and jokes that I'd like to share with him.

"I have a question," I said, then facing him again. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko nang inayos ang pagkakaupo dahil may gustong sabihin. "You said you'll do what's best for me, right? So what if something happened and doing what's best for me would require you to leave?"

"If it's for your best, then I will leave," walang pag-aalinlangan niyang sagot.

"What?! That's unacceptable, Orion." Napatayo ako dahil sa narinig at ngumuso. "Why would you leave when you just said that you want what's best for me? You're the best for me... so why would you leave?"

"Because if I am... then I wouldn't have to leave, London."

"But you said you love me..." I trailed off.

I don't know why I'm fussing about this when it's just a situational question that I shouldn't have asked. But I guess it's because the thought of being left by him would be the worst heartbreak. I don't think I could handle it.

"Leaving doesn't equate to stop loving you... I would still choose you over everyone even though we're not together... If I'm not doing you any good, then what's the purpose of staying? I think it would be selfish of me to choose to stay when it will just put your wellbeing at risk," sagot niya, puno ng sinceridad ang boses. "Think about it, London... think..."

"Hmph!" Hindi ko na kayang magseryoso lalo na't hindi na ako makapag-isip ng maayos tapos ito pa ang pinag-uusapan namin.

Gumawa nga ako ng list on how to avoid heartbreaks tapos aaksayahan ko pa ng oras na pag-isipan ang heartbreaks na 'yan?

Tumayo ako at saka kinuha ang regalo para sa kaniya bago bumalik sa pagkakaupo sa kandungan niya.

It was a blank notebook that I turned into a photo album. I placed our pictures there, added some designs, and scribbled some messages.

He browsed through the photo album while I tried reading his expression but I'm not really sure cuz I might be hallucinating. But if I'm seeing things right, then he's biting his lower lip and his eyes were shining with what seems to be like tears.

Naiiyak ba siya dahil nagustuhan niya o napapangitan siya?

I brought my hands to his face, wiping his unshed tears. "I'll take these as tears of joy."

I poured some wine on our glasses and prompted him to clink his glass with mine's. "Cheers cuz it's Christmas!"

We finished our drink in one chug before refilling our glasses.

"Cheers cuz the cake is so delicious!" We clinked our glasses again and finished our drink.

We continued doing it until we consumed the whole bottle of wine. Tawang-tawa siya sa mga pinagsasabi ko pero sinasabayan naman ang trip ko. Kasalanan ko bang sobrang grateful kong tao?

"Cheers cuz my squid is here with me and I'm so happy!" We clinked our glasses for the last time and finished our last drink. I then leaned on his chest and sighed contentedly.

I may have drank a lot and I may not be able to think straight, but there are three things that I am sure— I meant it when said that I'll continue to choose him and decide to love him everyday; that I am at my happiest and most grateful state right now; and that I want to spend all my Christmas and all the holidays with him.