Step One:
                Slowly squat down in front of the cow. Dance a silly dance.

Step Two:
                 If the cow didn't like it, it doesn't like you. Therefore, it will literally never like you. Get kicked noob.
If it did, slowly crawl towards the utters.

Step Three:
                   Carefully reach your hands out to the teats.

Step Four:
                  sNATCH DAT TEAT, AND YANK IT-