The cell door clanged shut as Hiccup stared in utter shock. Somehow, his increasingly improbable quest to finally go home for Snoggletog and celebrate with his family had landed him in a jail cell in Berserk on Snoggletog Eve. And worse, he seemed to have been abandoned by everyone he was travelling with.

"You do realise you've got the wrong person don't you?" he asked the cop who had pulled the short straw in having to watch the cells while the rest of the force had gone to the bar next door.

"They all say that," the cop grouched back and sat in his chair, lacing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

"Well, on current experience, I would guess that it's because you keep catching the wrong people!" Hiccup snapped back. "I demand a lawyer, a judge and bail!"

"No, no and no," the cop replied snarkily.

"I have a right to an attorney," Hiccup pointed out. "And if I cannot afford one, you have to appoint one for me."

"We'll do all that after the holiday," the cope said. 

"No you won't," Hiccup snapped. "Holding me without charge over Snoggletog is a cruel and unusual punishment especially as I am innocent."

"So we'll charge you," the cop said, sitting up and glaring at Hiccup.

"Not without reading me my Miranda rights...and then you have to get me an attorney..."

"On the 27th," the cop sneered and Hiccup rolled this eyes.

"By then, I will literally be a dead man having missed Snoggletog and my Dad's 60th," he protested. 

"Then you shouldn't have blown up this trucks..."

"I DIDN'T!" Hiccup shouted.

"Then who did?"

"I didn't see," Hiccup said truthfully. Though I have a damned good idea... "Some guys were grabbing my girlfriend and I ran to get them off her and then a load of goons jumped on me and I ended up here..." The cop stared at him.

"You know the Mayor's son demanded you were locked up?" he told Hiccup, seeing the tall man grip the bars tightly. "You really hacked off the wrong person, sonny! So you're going to rot in jail until after the holidays and then we'll sort this all out..."

"This is unconstitutional!" Hiccup growled.

"Tell someone who cares!" the cop sneered and the auburn-haired man threw his arms up.

"Fine!" he snapped. "I try to go home after six years, I end up being knocked off my bike by an insane woman driver, being kept awake by the noisiest sex...ever, caught in a car fire, thrown off a train, chased out of a diner by men with guns and now wrongfully arrested in Berserk. And all I wanted was to spend the holiday with my family!"

"Better luck next year!" the cop said smugly and settled back in his chair. Hiccup stomped to the bed and sat down, his face locked in a furious scowl.

"Next year I'll lock myself in my apartment with my cat, a good book and a triple giant sized turkey and pepperoni pizza," he grumbled, then closed his eyes. Truth be told, he was disappointed that the others had left him. He had looked out for Astrid, gotten Fish away and mended the twins' truck. True, he hadn't done much for Snotlout except sabotaged his car but his cousin had so much owed him a simple breakdown hardly even scratched the surface of what he owed Hiccup. He ran his hands through his auburn hair and sighed. He had one phone call and he would have to spend it to apologise to his Mom-he couldn't talk to his Dad because he would end up hanging up during the ensuing argument. And, of course, if he ended up locked up much longer, he would probably lose his job as well.

So it was with these grim thoughts that he tried to ignore what was going on around him...until the door opened and someone walked in.

"Are you in charge of the cells?" a familiar voice purred. Hiccup's eyes opened-and then he gaped...though the cop's eyes were already metaphorically out on stalks.

"Ya...ya...yes..." the man managed as a sultry figure sashayed towards him. The woman was dressed in an absolutely form-fitting blood red silk dress with high mandarin neck, no sleeves and a slash all the way up to the left hip. Black fishnets and killer red heels along with blood red nails and lips accessorised the stunning outfit. Mascara emphasised sparkling azure eyes and golden hair fell in waves to her mid back. Astrid leaned forward and smiled playfully.

"I'm Astrid Gregory," she purred. "Wife of Bryan Gregory-the Vikings United Linebacker?" The man nodded hopelessly, his jaw hanging open.

"You're beautiful..." he drooled. She gave a smile that promised so much...

"I've come to see your prisoner," she said sensuously, raising her arms and running her fingers back through her loose hair. "Hmm...I guess you want to frisk me? A little? Perhaps...big boy...?" And she smiled. The cop almost fell over himself as he hastened towards her and she fluttered her eyes. "I like a strong man," she purred. The cop nodded and stared hopefully into her eyes. She smiled...then punched him out. 

He landed like a felled tree across the desk, then bounced to the floor. Astrid scowled and stomped to the sprawled shape, fetching the keys and briskly stamping across to the cell door, her eyes flicking up to stare at the lean shape sitting casually on the bed.

"What happened to Miss Come-and-frisk-me-big-boy?" he asked, grinning as she unlocked the door. 

"Hey, you try wearing the damned heels," she grumbled. "Thank Thor I decided not to bin the damned things..." He got up and walked to her, his limp still obvious. He stood inches from her and gave a small smile.

"Now don't take this the wrong way, Astrid, but you are damned gorgeous in that dress," he murmured, then leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss on the mouth. "You make an outstanding Bonnie..."

"For that to work, you'd have to be Clyde," she pointed out as they went to the cupboard to retrieve his jacket and possessions. He checked his wallet, keys and phone carefully and then smiled.

"Yeah, not really a criminal...until I walk out that door and become a wanted fugitive..." he admitted.

"Only in Berserk," she reminded him as he linked his arm with hers.

"Thank Thor-nowhere important then!" he grinned. She glanced around.

"Um...where are all the cops?" she asked him and he jerked his head to his right.

"In the bar next door," he smirked. "Now I think we oughtta get out of here before someone notices that I'm no longer in my cell..." Astrid stared at the long rank of cop cars lined up outside the station and bar. 

"Any good?" she asked and he shook his head, laughing softly. 

"No, that really would be pushing it too far," he murmured...then his eyes alighted on a bulky shape parked a few yards down the street. A red-painted garbage truck was sitting conveniently waiting and unattended.

"Wow-you know how to show a girl a good time," she protested. He checked the street and led her swiftly across, opening the doors and helping her up before scrambling in himself.

"To be honest, I thought you'd upped and left me," he said quietly, retrieving the keys and starting the engine. She stilled and looked at him. 

"Oh Harry...I would never leave you," she said gently. "While those idiots were running away, you ran into danger to rescue me! Of course, I did have to break Snotlout's nose when we got back to the truck because he did want to leave you behind, though the twins and Fish wouldn't allow it. And Fish got a phone call and told me to tell you the box made it!" She shrugged and then looked even more perplexed as he slowly smiled. 

"Then we've got Dagur," he said softly. "Tax evasion..."

"Hah...can't see the twins accepting that as suitable retribution..."

"Hey-they got Al Capone on that!" Hiccup protested. "And the IRS is big enough not to care how powerful Oswald is..." 

"But we're not," Astrid said suddenly. "I think we should go..."

An explosion shook the truck and Hiccup stared at her. He peered into the wing mirror...to see the Town Hall blow up. "Oh Gods," he muttered. "Thorston specials?" She nodded. "What is it about them and Town Halls?" he exclaimed.

"They're mutton-heads," she said resignedly as the green and white truck roared down the road, swerving and ramming the backs of all the parked cop cars. There was an unearthly crunching and rending of metal and the cars all smashed together and cops began to pour from the bar.

"And that's our cue!" Hiccup said, flooring the gas pedal and pulling out after the rapidly receding truck. The cops were staring in shock as they raced away...and then Berserk's finest milled around, pushing and shoving as they started trying to find a squad car that hadn't be totally trashed by the twins. A volley of shots zinged around them. "Again with the shooting! What is it about people?"

"This is Berserk," Astrid grinned, stretching her legs out. Hiccup's eyes popped wide and he almost swerved. "HA! Now who can't drive?" she said smugly. 

"Hey...no one can keep his eyes on the road with a killer pair of legs next to him," he protested. "I'm a man not a stone!" Her eyes flicked up as he precisely swept the garbage truck round to follow Barf'n'Belch and she smiled.

"Hey-where did you learn to drive a truck anyway?" she asked him. He shrugged.

"Work," he said. "They needed someone to move the gear so I volunteered to get trained. I learned to drive the trucks after I lost my leg...it made me feel...normal..." She inspected his face and saw his lips lift in a little smile, his emerald eyes sparkling gently. She felt a flutter in her chest and unconsciously touched her fingers to her lips.

"Oh you're not normal," she murmured. "You are very very special, Biker Boy..." He chanced a glance at her and gave a little dip of the head.

"Why thank you, Milady," he said cheerfully as the bullets zinged off the garbage truck. "Now all we need to do is evade the police chase and get safely back to Berk..."

"Haven't you learnt by now that getting to Berk seems to be next to impossible?" she smirked. He sighed.

"I suspect you're right, Milady," he murmured. "And we will soon have half of Berserk on our tail..." He drove quietly for a few minutes and then glanced at Astrid. "If we go over the hills, we can get to Berk quicker...but Dagur and his gang will be after us." He paused. He knew every route out of Berserk because he had been dragged along every year to the annual Mayoral visit-and had to deal with Dagur every time. The psychopathic son of Mayor Oswald had tormented the younger Hiccup every time and the boy had learned the map of Berserk by heart, learned every possible way he could get away from Dagur...

"Have the twins got any explosives left?" he asked suddenly. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"They're the twins-of course they have!" she said sarcastically. He grinned.

"Sarcasm? I seem to be rubbing off on you, Milady," he murmured.

"Milady? Where did that come from?" she asked him suspiciously. He flicked a brief glance at her. 

"From the moment you walked into that police station, looking like the most amazing Valkyrie in the history of the Nine Realms and punched out that cop," he told her. There was a pause as her lips tilted up in a genuine, delighted smile at the sincerity in his intense voice. For a moment, she looked utterly delighted.

"You know, that is probably the sweetest compliment anyone has ever paid me," she told him.

"I mean every word," he murmured, then sighed. "Can you ask the twins to chuck me one explosive and then head up the hill road and get someone to almost chop down Fredbor's pine? We need them to be ready to blow down the Four Sisters  as well to block the road... once we get there."

"And what will we be doing?" Astrid asked, her eyes widening.

"Blocking the main bridge to the Highway," he told her with a grin, "while drawing pursuit off. With the bridge out and the mountain road blocked, they can only follow us to Berk by heading the wrong way through Murderous and Meathead-an extra fifty miles. We should be able to get away..."

"What do they teach at Engineering School?" Astrid asked him in shock. He chuckled.

"How to solve problems..." he admitted and there was a pause.

"That's what you've been doing all trip, hasn't it?" she realised. He nodded.

"Though, to be honest, I never anticipated being chased by the authorities in Berserk with the Mayor and his super-violent psychopathic son on our tail," he said thoughtfully. Astrid flipped her phone over and rang Ruff...and soon they pulled alongside the twins, accepting a couple of what looked suspiciously like sticks of dynamite and shouting instructions. Snotlout visibly swelled in pride.

"I'm the all-Berk tree-felling champion!" he boasted.

"As long as you delay the actually felling until we're past, knock yourself out!" Hiccup shouted and peeled away towards the oncoming cars, causing them to scatter, then spin round and race after the garbage truck. The twins roared off up the road, vanishing through the commercial distract and up the winding road into the hills. Astrid leaned forward.

"This is dangerous, isn't it?" she asked quietly. He nodded.

"I would have offered you the chance to swap trucks..." he said, "but I'm afraid I really need you to throw the explosives..." She gave a small smile.

"I wouldn't have left you anyway," she told him honestly. "I ruined your trip and I want to see you safely back in Berk..."

"I will make sure you get home too," he promised, his emerald eyes shining as the bridge came up ahead...and the blue and red flashing lights of the massed cop cars illuminated the road. Hiccup narrowed his eyes, seeing Dagur and Oswald, standing with their goons by a pair of top of the range Mercedes with darkened windows. Both were in matching sharp suits and shiny black leather shoes. "Now...if you see anyone looking more like a gang boss around here, point him out to me," he commented dryly as the congenial-looking Mayor gestured violently to his men and they all raised guns, aiming at the truck.

"Wow...they seem pissed," Astrid grinned, fumbling in the glove box and finding a lighter. 

"They'll be more pissed in a moment," Hiccup said, dropping his foot on the gas pedal and accelerating. "Get down!" he added as bullets zinged at them and he ducked as well, aiming the truck precisely at the most expensive vehicles present. There were shouts as everyone tried to leap out the way while Hiccup managed to sideswipe both Dagur and Oswald's cars, sending then careening into the barriers with an awful crunch...and down into the icy river below. Astrid gaped.

"Did you just...?" she asked in shock. He smirked.

"I can see why the twins enjoy mindless destruction," he admitted as he slowed, spinning the unwieldy truck round and managing a turn that only knocked a hole in one of the rails that ran along the bridge. "This is the hard part...are you ready, Milady...?"

"I think you just made Clyde," she commented, flicking the lighter on. The flame flickered as she shared a smile with the auburn-haired man. "You know, this has been the best trip ever?" 

"Boy, what that says about your previous travels doesn't bear thinking about..." he commented sarcastically.

"There's my Harry," she grinned.

'My' Harry? Oh Thor...

"We just need to wreck the road surface, not demolish the bridge," he reminded her. "We just need to stop them cutting us off at the city limits of Berk.." She grinned and wound her window down.

"I'm ready..." she said as the cops moved their cars to intercept. He revved the engine...

"NOW!" he shouted and slammed his foot down. The garbage truck lurched forward as Astrid leaned out of the window and grinned. A couple of cop cars came at them and she lobbed the first explosive at them. The ensuring explosion blew the cars high in the air, tumbling onto the carriageway and melting the surface as they burnt. Hiccup slammed the truck through the cordon once more as Astrid tossed the second, catching the middle of the cordon, exploding more cars and blocking the bridge. Bullets zinged around the truck as they swung away and sped towards the mountain road. 

"WHOO!" Astrid grinned, sitting back into the seat as he checked the wing mirrors and cornered carefully, then accelerated on the narrow road up into the mountains. "Wow! The only way that could've been better would be if it was Bryan I just blew up!"

"Your ex-husband better hope he never crosses path with you again..." he said dryly as they began to zig-zag up the winding road. Away from the city, the only illumination were the truck's lights, picking out  trees at the side of the road and the occasional shape of an owl that silently flapped out of the gloom for a few wingbeats and then back into the darkness once more. Astrid stretched and yawned.

"I was really worried about going home because I knew my family would quiz me forever about Bryan and my failed marriage," she sighed. "But now I have something else to tell them...someone else to tell them about..." He felt his lips curve in a smile at her next words. "Thank you, Harry." 

"My pleasure..." he murmured. Really...my pleasure...