"I feel bad leavin' 'em," Malcolm said, pacing across the floor. "Hope they're not pissed."

"They'll be fine," Bon said. "We'll ring 'em up later."

The roadie dropped us off at the hotel and we ran to the doors, almost colliding with Bon and Cliff who had taken a separate car. The rain hadn't let up and our shoes squelched through the lobby toward the stairs. We didn't bother waiting for an elevator. 

Out of breath and soaking wet, the boys let me find Stelle and I's shared hotel room. Running straight for our door, I knocked on it, knowing good and well the keys were inside. "Stelle?" I asked gently. 

"Stelle, it's us," Cliff said. A few minutes later the door opened and Stelle appeared. Makeup covered her cheeks and her skin was flushed. Upon seeing us she burst into tears again and left us out in the hall. Malcolm found his way to the front of the group and followed her in, Stelle picking up the pace and locking herself in the bedroom. Malcolm stopped in his tracks as we filed in the room, spreading out and finding a place to sit. All except Mal, who spent his time pacing.

"What do ya' think happened?" Cliff asked. "I mean....was it someone else who hit her or did the car lose control....?"

"Who fuckin' knows," Malcolm muttered. "Could be a whole army of maniac drivers on the road."

"Her mum still in England?" Angus asked. There was a minute of silence.

"Guess so," Cliff said after no one answered. Stelle's muffled voice and heartbreaking sobs bled through the bedroom door while she talked on the telephone. I sat on the sofa hugging my knees up to my chest, my boots on the floor. It seemed like hours since she locked herself away. Apparently the boys found out right after the show finished by one of the roadies whom Stelle had called. I couldn't remember his name, but I was sure it was the one we met weeks ago. Without another word they let their team pack up while they hauled off to the hotel, taking me with them. We had to make sure she was okay, after all. 

The lock on the door clicked and the doorknob turned. Malcolm stopped pacing and met up with Stelle in the hall, her sobs breaking then starting up again. "They lettin' ya' see her?"

"They're running tests," Stelle said, finally showing herself. Her hair looked as if she ran her hands through it a million times and her skin started drying out around her eyes. "They're keeping her overnight for surgery and they told me she's critical." She wiped her face with the backs of her bathrobe sleeves. 

"We can send you up there," Cliff said. "Find you a plane if ya' want."

Stelle managed a smile. "Thanks," she said then choked down another sob. 

"She'll be alright," Malcolm said. Stelle covered her face and shook her head.

"But you don't know that, Malcolm," she said. "They said critical but they wouldn't give me any details." Malcolm led her to the chaise lounge and she sat down, her breath shaky. "I know she works late sometimes," she said. "And the weather is pretty bad up there too....slid or something into a rail."

"That's terrible," Angus said. Bon stood up from the bar stool and went into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle on his way. Stelle leaned against Malcolm, using his jacket as a tissue. "Like Cliff said, we can call up your work an' tell 'em you're comin' back early or..."

"That's okay, I can call my office," Stelle said. "But I could use a plane home." Shrill whistling came from the kitchen before dying down.

"How 'bout somethin' to drink?" Bon asked, coming back from the kitchen holding a cup of tea. "Jus' tea this time, sorry, love." Stelle tried to laugh and took it from him. 

"Thank you, Ronald."

"I'll give the airport a call," Malcolm said, standing up from the lounge after giving Stelle one last hug. "Any seat preference?"

"Window, please," Stelle said. "I can pay for it."

"Nah, we'll pay," Malcolm said, grabbing the living room phone from off the little table. He turned the numbers and they spun back in place with a clatter. "We'll take care of ya', Stelle."

Stelle sipped her tea and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. I could tell she was trying her damnedest to hold it together. But why shouldn't she break down in a fit of sobs? I certainly would if a family member of mine got in an accident. Thinking about how long it had been since I'd seen or talked to any of them after going back in time, I began to feel a pang of homesickness. 

I wanted my own mother.

**********

"Flight leaves at ten tomorrow," Malcolm said, coming to sit by Stelle again. "Morning, not night. Was all they had left."

"Thank you, Malcolm," Stelle sniffed. 

"That gonna be enough time for ya'?"

"It will be fine," she said, attempting to fix her hair. She combed her fingers through it. "Kind of want to get out of here as quick as possible. See her after the operation." 

"Ya' need anythin'?" Phil asked. "Before we go, I mean?"

Stelle gave up fixing her hair and shrugged, laughing without humor. We had all been here for about an hour now. It had to be going on midnight at least. I couldn't help but think of all the concert goers who had paid for the chance to see the band after the show only to be told they were gone. Making up for that wouldn't be easy. And even worse was Stelle's dilemma. Worrying about her mother turned her appearance concerning and she refused to eat anything. The band obviously hesitated to leave her alone, stalling as they gathered their things. Phil hung around by the door, leaning sleepily against the wall. Angus remained seated on a chair while Bon tapped his fingers on the tops of the bar stools. Cliff took his turn by Stelle's side while they softly chatted. Probably reassuring her everything would be okay. Malcolm stood up and left them to it, crossing his arms and staring out the window. 

And I never left my spot on the sofa.

"We should get goin'," Malcolm finally said. Steady rain beat against the pane. "Hate to, but it is what it is."

"Thank you for coming," Stelle said letting Cliff go. "All of you."

"Course, love," Cliff said, patting her on the shoulder. Angus stood and met Phil at the door, muttering about something. I could only make out the words "morning" and "no". Bon came over to Stelle and leaned down to give her a hug.

"Ya' know the hotel numbers," he said. "Call anytime."

"I will," she said, sniffling into his shoulder. "Be good, Ronald."

"Ya' know I won't, Estelle," he said and she laughed. 

"Can we order food for ya'?" Angus asked from where he stood. Everyone turned to look at him and he suddenly looked unsure of his suggestion and shrugged. "Room service or somethin' so ya' have somethin' to eat if ya' want?"

"No, please don't," Stelle said. "You've all done enough. And I'm not hungry anyway."

"Take care of yourself," Malcolm said. "Can't have anythin' happenin' to you."

"Speak for yourselves," Stelle smiled. "Got a tour coming up." 

Stelle saw the band out the door, giving their condolences and hugs and kisses. They were nice boys, really. After one last goodbye and clicking the door shut, Stelle covered her hands with her eyes and sped past me, retreating back into the bedroom. Slamming the door shut and leaving me in silence.

**********

I woke to the sound of zippers being pulled shut and wheels scraping the floor. Rubbing the clouds from my eyes, I could just make out Stelle in the living room wearing a tracksuit and sneakers. Her luggage lay scattered over the furniture with pieces of clothing and her camera sitting on the kitchen counter. I sat up and stretched after spending my night curled up on the sofa. Breathing into my hand and sniffing, I almost passed out.

"Did I wake you?" Stelle asked, folding a shirt in her hands. 

"No," I lied. "What time is it?"

"Seven," she said. "Couldn't fucking sleep. Just want to get the hell out of here while I have it all together." I watched as she zipped another suitcase up and gathered more bits and bobs. "I swear to God, if I cry on the plane..."

"Have you called the hospital at all?" I asked. Hoping maybe they'd have some good news for her and she could head home in better spirits. 

"I tried and they said they were unavailable for talking right now," she huffed. "So I have no fucking clue how Mum is."

"I'm sure she's okay," I said and winced at my false optimism. I fucking hated when people spewed that shit in light of a tragedy. In my experience, they're usually not okay. Stelle seemed to agree with me and sighed instead of answering. 

"So where are you going to stay?" she said. I froze at her words. I hadn't even thought about that. Stelle's office was paying for the room we were in. Once they got word that she left, they'd check her out and I'd be left with nowhere to go. I didn't have nearly enough money to pay for a hotel room, or even a motel room. In other words, I was fucked. 

"I...don't know," I said. Stelle grabbed her camera and set it in a fancy looking case with accessories and a pack of fabric cloths. 

"I'm sure one of the band will be happy to take you in," she said, zipping it shut. "They like you well enough."

I turned red, thinking of the night before with Malcolm. Would it be too awkward to ask to stay with him? I could fulfill my fanfiction fantasies and stay with Angus but my insecurities told me he'd say no for some reason. 

"The office will probably keep the room for another day or two," Stelle said. "Maybe. I wouldn't count on them making an exception for you, no offence. You don't work for them."

"I understand," I said. Stelle wrapped the camera bag around her neck and stacked her suitcases on top of each other by the door. She put her hair in a messy ponytail, not fixing it up any more than that. Glancing at the kitchen I could tell she hadn't made anything for breakfast. "Are you going to eat anything?" I asked. Maybe I could offer to cook her something?

"Are you kidding?" she asked. "My tummy's in knots as it is, it will only end up on the floor." After a second thought Stelle shrugged. "Maybe I'll pick up a granola bar on the way to the airport. Glass of Pepto."

"Appetizing," I said and Stella laughed. Her eyes were dull and red. The makeup had been wiped off her cheeks and her face looked freshly washed. 

"I'll have to call Janice," she said. "Tell her what's happened."

"Maybe she'll meet up with you in England," I said, hoping that might brighten her up. She didn't make it obvious if it did. 

"Did you know this would happen?" she asked. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Did you know Mum would get in a wreck?" she asked and I scratched at the fabric on the couch. It was impossible for me to know little details like that unless I had known them before I time traveled. Stelle's mother's accident was a complete surprise. Confident in my answer, I felt scared of her response all the same. 

"No," I said. I flinched, waiting for her to call me a liar and say I could have changed something. Or maybe accuse me of causing the accident all because I went back in time, therefore changing something by accident. But she said nothing. "I had no idea."

"I wish I had known," she said. "I'd have left long before today."

I didn't tell her that stopping events from happening was potentially impossible. Of course I didn't know for sure myself but once something happened, you would surely have a hard time trying to change it. The best we could do was to take the best course of action in the present to prevent anything bad in the future. 

Unfortunately that's where my anxiety stemmed from.

Stelle continued to sniff and wipe her eyes but I didn't see any tears flowing. Maybe she had been crying all night and there was nothing left. Even more important than eating was drinking. "You want something to drink before you go?"

"No thanks," she mumbled. "I hate using jet loos." I nodded in understanding. "This is such a fucking drag. The rails are there to protect the people and they get in accidents anyway. She could have fucking-" Stelle took a sharp breath and released it slowly. "She could have died, you know that?"

"I know," I said.

"I only have one mum," she said. "What the fuck am I supposed to do after she's gone?" I couldn't answer what I didn't know. "The Scorpions are going to have to wait for her to get better. If my boss thinks he can fucking send me off to work at a time like this..."

"We'll miss you," I said and I meant it. It was great having another woman around to hang out with. Female friends was something I lacked growing up. I didn't feel so out of place with a friend like her. The band would miss her and I'm sure some of the roadies would feel her absence as well. They had been quite touched by her company.

"Yeah?" she smiled. "I'll miss this place. Everyone's been great. I love my job. I love this band and I love this life." Her eyes grew misty. She stared at a spot on the floor like she was hypnotized. "I gotta get home." Stelle stood up then turned to me. "Maybe I will have a quick bite to eat," she said and I felt a sense of relief. "If you want you can wash up. I know it's been a long night for both of us."

"Sure," I said. "I'll join you in a second." I stood from the couch, my body aching something fierce. Smelling and tasting my breath again I picked up the pace and went into the nearly vacated bathroom, shutting the door. Cupboards were open and drawers were emptied. After freshening up as best I could while I still had time to join Stelle for breakfast, I left the bathroom and was met with a haunting stillness. The kitchen was empty. "Stelle?"

The living room was empty. Stelle's suitcases were gone. There was no clinking of dishes in the kitchen or the smell of food cooking. There were no sniffles or crying or rolling wheels on the floor. There was nothing but me alone in the room. 

It was my turn to cry.