The derisive smell of bleach brought me back to him. 

It was symbolic, as my friend had told me things were, today. Almost forgot how to believe...nevertheless in symbols if not miracles. 

And even my boyfriend told me it was better to think positive, because it might happen, that positive thing. 

But it was amazing: I'd never associated bleach with him, so passing the lady with the mop at the Red Line really made me wonder. 

I was at my Grandma's for a while. Well, two days was a while away from Dad's influence, so it felt so long. Plus my PS3 and books were at my mom's house, so I was bored. 

I say mom's because my dad doesn't pay for anything, except that cable bill that my dad said he finally paid because he got bored (while I was away). 

I haven't said much lately because it has been up and down, my relationship. My boyfriend has undoubtedly challenged the borders of my bluntness, as last entry told, and him being able to deal so well with my issue, even such a small one and selfish one of me wanting to communicate more with him, made me stronger and honest with my feelings when speaking to him and others. And honestly, up and down has been my feelings. Changing, and so much going on even in the physical life of mine to explain everything't's happened. 

But I am glad, because it is summer. IT IS STILL SUMMER. Have I had such a long one before? The other ones seemed so fast and boringly. At least I can have someone to tell "F*** me harder" to be with, relationship-wise. And thankfully, he won't mind to when the time comes. 

Guess I need to think of that statement whenever I have a stressful study preparation to sit through at college.