I have been running my whole life a runner on the track field. I've been running from myself in hope of finding a better life. Been running trying discover who i was. I have been running trying to escape the hold the devil seemed to have on my life. I had been running for years trying to find my place in this world.
I've been running from a curse that I felt I had on my life.
I was running like Forest Gump.
Just like Forest Gump I too got tired of running. I was drained inside. I was tired mentally physically and spiritually.
I was tired of running from what was after me.
Are you wondering what happened next? Let me tell you what I did.
I turned around and started facing my fears head on. Turned around and put my gloves on ready for the fight of my life.
I found out I had never been alone because God was right there with me the whole time. Instead of God fighting unknown battles for me I joined His side His team and put on His armor and shield and started fighting with Him not against Him!
No more was I going to hide how I felt from those who hurt me. Why should I hurt myself and bite my tongue when that only caused pain to myself? I thought I as mute because everyone I said something I had to keep repeating myself so I thought I want being heard but my God when I found out I was gifted with a beautiful voice I have been talking ever since!! I lift my voice and sing praises to Him.
God showed me I was stronger than they said I was! I had been abused mentally and physically from childhood and even throughout my adulthood. But my God said no my child you are not weak YOU ARE STRONG. At first I had my doubts but when I was almost raped by a very skilled military vet I was ready to put up a fight. No more was I going to be raped by another person! That night one of was going to lose and my mind was set that I was going to win this time.
I was disrespected by a so called gangster and I didn't care what his street status was but I snatched him up and threw him on the wall so fast that it had scared me!! Him being taller than me didn't matter. I had picked him up so far in the air his feet could've kicked my knees and I'm 5 foot 9 inches tall! I dropped him to the floor with tears running down my face. I was not scared of him but of my own strength and what I almost did to him.
For years I thought I was ugly. I didn't have a single mirror on the walls of my home. Don't know how I tore down the bathroom medicine cabinet mirror but I never put it back up. I had one mirror in the living room but it was so high up You couldn't see yourself in it. I had a big dresser mirror in my bedroom that I let dust cover it so you really couldn't see in it clearly. I didn't want to see myself in them because I didn't like what I saw. But I know now that all the things God created was great and beautiful in their own unique way. If that's the case and I know He created me then that means I too am good beautiful and unique. Slowly day by day I have come to accept this fact and can look in a mirror and see me the beautiful queen God created me to be.
I used to be terrified of dogs. I mean once when I was younger I locked my mom and grandma out of the house because one of my granddads dogs had gotten loose from its chain. They were trapped between the screen door and the main door. I couldn't risk letting them in and the dog getting to me!
I walk down a street now and spot a dog barking loud and coming angrily towards me I don't stop walking or runaway. I look at them and yell over their loud barking "MAN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND STAY IN YOUR YARD!!" They keep barking but for a few seconds they look at me quietly as to say did she yell at me 😆. I tell them," yes I did and if you come out here you're going to be eating puppy food again because I'm going to try to kick your teeth out!"
Needless to say I walk confidently the streets whether it's day or night without fear of a dog. I walk by faith and not by sight. I great no evil cause thou aren't with me. Thy rod and they staff comfort me.
I picked up habits sticks weapons throughout the years to fight but the biggest thing the biggest weapon I should've picked up and kept a tight hold on Is The Bible!!! It is equipped inside with everything I need to be strong and holds all the tools in this fight of my life!
God says be still and let me fight for you. So I'm still fighting but not as hard as when I was fighting and running off my own way. Losing battles before I would even get started because I wasn't prepared.

Thank you all for continuing to follow me. Thank you all for your encouraging words support and love. It all really means a lot to me. I would love to hear from y'all again so if you can drop me a line or more. Do y'all have any questions or comments for me?