**FLASHBACK**

(Lauryn's pov)

Christmas was here and I was so happy. I loved Christmas. Christmas was my favorite holiday and this year felt extra special. Conrad had invited me to spend Christmas at Cousins Beach, and I was thrilled. The idea of a snowy beach was enchanting and exciting. Plus, I loved spending time with Conrad. It would be just the two of us and I was very excited. Okay, I was nervous too. Really nervous. I never spent a holiday with a boyfriend alone, but I trusted Conrad. I love him. And he loves me. I knew I would have a great time.

I packed my bag with plenty of warm clothes and other essentials. My heart fluttered, my cheeks growing warm at the thought of Conrad. We were about to spend our first Christmas together and I was so excited. I could barely sleep last night, the butterflies in my stomach making it impossible to. Lately though despite the festive holiday, symptoms of my leukemia coming back had been weighing on my mind. I tried to push the thoughts away, focusing on the joy and anticipation of the holiday season. But the worry was there, lingering in the back of my mind like a shadow.

As I zipped up my bag, I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. I reminded myself that this trip was about making memories with Conrad, about celebrating our love and the magic of Christmas. But I couldn't ignore the subtle signs — just a bit of fatigue, the occasional bruises that appeared without reason, and the slight shortness of breath that crept up on me during simple tasks. I couldn't shake the unease. What if the leukemia really was back? The thought terrified me, but I tried to push it aside. This was Christmas, our first Christmas together, and I wanted it to be perfect.

I stepped outside into the crisp winter air, I looked up at the clear, blue sky and whispered a small prayer. Please, let this just be paranoia. Please, let this Christmas be perfect.

When the time came, I left the house with my packed bag, a wide smile on my face. Conrad was in his car, waiting for me. He had drove all this way to my home town to pick me up. That made me feel even more loved. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I needed to stay positive. I promised myself that I would enjoy every moment with Conrad and not let my fears ruin our time together. After all, this was something I'd been looking forward to for weeks—just the two of us, cozy and warm in the little beach house, surrounded by the snowy landscape.

As I walked out the door with my bag, I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. The future was uncertain, but I knew one thing for sure: I was going to make the most of this Christmas, no matter what. Conrad was waiting for me with a bright smile, and seeing him made my heart skip a beat. I smiled back, determined to let go of my worries and focus on the happiness of being with him.

I had a bounce in my step as I made my way to the car, my smile never faltering. I opened the door and climbed into the car, immediately being greeted by a pair of familiar lips on mine. I giggled softly against his lips, blush rising to my cheeks as I kissed him back, butterflies in my stomach once again. His hand rested on my cheek, the pad of his thumb gently caressing my cheekbone. The kiss was slow and sweet, conveying the love we had for each other.

I pull away after a moment, giggling softly and feeling slightly breathless. "Hello to you too, Mr. Fisher." I murmured, my heart fluttering. He smiled, and my heart melted.

"Hello, beautiful. Are you ready for our little adventure?" He asks, his eyes shining with excitement and anticipation. He was so cute. He took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers and resting our hands on my lap. I smiled at the warmth and comfort his touch brought me.

"Yes! I can't wait! A snowy beach? It sounds so magical." I said eagerly as I began to buckle my seatbelt. I was buzzing with excitement and anticipation. I've never seen a snowy beach and this was gonna be a great experience. And the fact I was gonna share this special moment with him made it even better.

"It'll definitely be a unique experience. Plus, it's a great chance for us to spend some quality time together. Just the two of us." He said, sending me a wink. His words caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach and my heart rate picked up a bit. "I've missed you so much, Laur. And I'm so excited to spend the holidays with you. I love you."

"I've missed you so much too, Coco. I love you so, so much." I replied softly, leaning over to place a loving kiss on his cheek. I couldn't wait to spend time with him. I had missed him terribly. Being away from him was hard, but it made me treasure and appreciate every moment I had with him.

"Now, let's get to Cousins, shall we?" He smiled, pressing a loving kiss to the back of my hand. He started the car, pulling out of the driveway. I rested my head on his shoulder, reaching over to turn the radio on. It was playing soft and soothing Christmas music and I smiled, feeling the car vibrate beneath me as we began driving to Cousins. I knew this was going to be the best Christmas ever.

****

Conrad and I sang along to the music on the way to Cousins or comfortable silence filled the air. Either way, it was nice. When we arrived at the beach, the sky was dark, the moon and the stars illuminating the sky. I perk up at seeing Cousins Beach decorated in Christmas decorations. I pull away from Conrad to move closer to the window, my eyes sparkling with wonder. I never had been in Cousins Beach during Christmas before.

"Wow.." I breathe, a bright smile spreading across my face. It looked like something out of a fairytale. "It's so beautiful."

I didn't know Conrad's gaze was fixated on me, his heart warming and swelling at the bright, child-like smile on my face. "Yeah, beautiful..." He agreed quietly, smiling softly. But he wasn't looking at the scenery. He was looking at me. When I look back to smile at him, my face flushed at realizing he was looking at me, his expression full of love and adoration.

My heart flutters, the butterflies returning and causing me to shyly look away. I didn't know how or why he always seemed to have that effect on me. "Stop looking at me like that." I mumbled shyly, my heart skipping a beat when he chuckled.

"Sorry. Can't help it. You're just so beautiful." He replied and I blush more when his hand reached over to caress my cheek. His hand moved to the back of my neck, gently pulling me forward, his lips meeting mine in a sweet, gentle kiss. I kissed him back, a content smile forming against his lips. We pull apart after a moment and he intertwined his fingers with mine, giving my hand a loving squeeze.

"I love you." He mumbles, his voice soft and affectionate. I smile and my heart swells.

"I love you too, Coco." I reply, my smile never fading. I was so in love with him and I knew it. There was no denying it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

We arrived at the house and Conrad parked the car. I grin at seeing the familiar house that felt like a second home. It felt different though. Especially after Susannah had passed. The lights were off and the house looked empty. Conrad noticed the shift in my demeanor and squeezes my hand, giving me a reassuring smile. I smile a little, appreciative of his effort. He didn't have to do anything, but he was trying and that's what mattered.

He gets out of the car and makes his way over to the passenger side, opening the door for me. I smile, taking his hand and getting out of the car. I shivered slightly as the cold air hit my skin. It wasn't snowing yet, but the breeze was a bit chilly. Conrad pulled me close to his side and I instantly relaxed. I follow him to the trunk so we can get our bags and then we walk over to the house. The house wasn't decorated, neither was my family's beach house next door. My family and I never had gone here during Christmas so we didn't bother decorating. Conrad opened the door for me and I stepped inside, my heart aching at seeing how empty the house felt.

"Are you okay?" Conrad's concerned voice pulled me from my thoughts and I realized he was staring at me with worry and concern. I didn't mean to worry him. He had walked in behind me, closing the door and setting the bags he held down while I did the same.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking.." I replies, offering him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, really." I said when his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He didn't look convinced and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. He leaned his forehead against mine, his gaze filled with concern.

"You can talk to me, you know." He murmured, his voice low and gentle. I was touched by his concern and the sincerity in his voice. His hand caressed my cheek, his gaze searching mine. I swallow hard and smile softly.

"I know." I respond, placing a gentle kiss to his nose, which earned me a soft smile from him and my smile widened at noticing faint blush rising to his cheeks. "I'm okay, I promise...It's just weird being here after Susannah had..." My voice trailed off and Conrad's gaze softened, understanding. He didn't say anything, not wanting to push. Instead, he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I melt into his embrace, his arms bringing me comfort and making me feel safe.

"I know. I miss her too." He murmured, resting his chin on top of my head, his fingers stroking through my hair. My heart ached at the sadness and melancholy in his voice. I knew he missed his mom dearly, we all missed her so much. I pulled away after a few moments and reach up to cup his face in my hands.

"I know." I murmur, placing a kiss to his nose and then his forehead, my thumb gently rubbing his cheek. "And it's okay. To feel sad and hurt. But she's in a better place now and I know she's watching over us."

He didn't respond, he just nodded and offered me a small, appreciative smile. His eyes were shining with emotion and my heart clenched at the sadness I saw. I knew it was gonna take him awhile to fully accept the loss of his mother. I was going to be there every step of the way, just like he's been there for me. I pull him down for a kiss, my hands resting on his shoulders. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer and kissing me back. The kiss was slow and tender, our emotions being poured into the kiss. I pull away after a moment, smiling a little.

"Come on, let's go upstairs and unpack." I murmur, reaching over to intertwine our fingers together and squeeze his hand gently.

"Okay, then I can start the fire and we can watch a movie." He suggested, picking up the bags and following me up the stairs. I smiled and nodded, liking the sound of that.

"That sounds great." I agreed, walking with him to the room we'd be staying in. We would be staying in his room and I smile at the familiar room. After we unpacked, Conrad started a fire in the fireplace while I made us hot cocoa. Then, we went into the living room and sat on the couch, cuddling and watching movies. It was perfect.

A while later, I notice snowflakes falling outside the window. I smile widely, my heart racing and the child-like glee returning. I got up from the comfortable position I had on the couch, snuggled next to Conrad, and ran over to the nearest window. Conrad watched me with a fond, amused smile on his face.

"Conrad, it's snowing! It's really snowing!" I squeals, turning to him with a wide, bright smile on my face. "Can we go to the beach? Please?"

I gave him my puppy-dog eyes and pouted. He chuckles and stands up, making his way over to me. His arms wrap around my waist and I grin up at him. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and I hum, my eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. Every time he kisses me, no matter if it was a long, passionate kiss, or a short and sweet one like this, my heart still races and butterflies fill my stomach.

"Of course we can, baby." He smiles, resting his forehead against mine. "Let's go."

He lets me go, and we quickly put our coats and boots on before making our way to the beach. I'm practically bouncing on my feet, the child-like excitement and giddiness returning as I watch the snowflakes fall around us. I felt a rush of exhilaration as we stepped out into the snowy night. The cold air was refreshing, the sound of the ocean waves calming and soothing. Everything felt so magical. There wasn't much snow on the beach yet since it just started snowing, but the sight of the first few flakes settling on the sand made everything feel like a dream. The contrast of the white snow against the dark sand was breathtaking. The cold air felt invigorating, and I couldn't help but laugh with pure joy.

Conrad took my hand, guiding me along the shoreline. We walked slowly, taking in the quiet beauty of the snowy beach. The ocean waves lapped gently at the shore, the moonlight casting a pale glow upon the water. We walked along the beach, our feet leaving a trail in the wet sand. We stopped, standing near the edge of the water and gazing up at the starry sky as we watch the snowflakes fall around us. A warm, tingly feeling settles in my chest and my heart felt full. This was perfect.

We stopped to watch the snowflakes dance in the moonlight, and Conrad pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into him, feeling his warmth against the chill of the night. We stood there for a few moments, just enjoying the peacefulness and each other's company.

"This is incredible," I whispers, gazing out at the snowy scene. "I always thought Christmas at the beach would be magical, but this...This is so much more than I could have ever imagined." I look over at him with a fond smile. "And I'm so glad I got to spend this with you."

"Me too," He murmurs, a soft, affectionate smile on his face. "I love you so much." He whispered, leaning down and kissing me tenderly. My eyes flutter closed, a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading throughout my entire body. I kissed him back, savoring the feeling of his lips against mine and his arms wrapped around me. The kiss was slow and gentle, full of love and emotion. I felt breathless when we pulled apart, a warm, happy smile on my face. Conrad was gazing down at me with such adoration and love, his eyes sparkling under the moonlight.

"I love you too, Conrad." I whisper, my heart skipping a beat. I could never get tired of saying those words to him. His smile widened and he placed a kiss on my forehead.

We stand there, in the snowy night, watching the waves crash onto the shore, the stars twinkling above us. I grin as I get an idea and hit his shoulder as I back up quickly. "You're it!" I shout, laughing as I take off running. Conrad's eyes widened with playful surprise as I dashed back, laughing. He quickly caught on and, with a mischievous grin, started chasing me along the shoreline. The snowflakes continued to fall, dusting the sand and creating a magical, shimmering effect under the moonlight. Our laughter echoed in the crisp, cold air, mingling with the soothing sounds of the ocean waves.

As I ran, I glanced back to see Conrad closing the distance between us, his face lit up with joy and a twinkle of competitive spirit. The snow crunched beneath our feet, and every so often, I could feel the cold spray of the ocean as the waves crashed against the shore. I stumbled a bit, giggling uncontrollably as Conrad's arms reached out to tag me. Finally, he caught me, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around in his arms. I shrieked with laughter, holding onto him tightly. He set me down gently, our breaths mingling in the cold air as we stared at each other, both of us grinning.

"You got me." I breathe out, giggling and gazing into his sparkling, beautiful eyes. His hair was tousled, and his cheeks were flushed. Snowflakes clung to his hair and eyelashes, making him look absolutely adorable. He was staring at me with such warmth and affection, his eyes crinkling slightly as he smiled. My heart swelled and fluttered in my chest. He was perfect.

It was moments like these that made me forget about the fact that I had some possible symptoms of my leukemia coming back. I felt a fleeting sense of peace amidst the magic of the snowy beach. Conrad's laughter and the warmth of his embrace created a bubble of happiness that helped momentarily push away the nagging worries in the back of my mind.

"Yeah, I did." He murmurs, leaning forward to capture my lips in a kiss. The kiss was soft and sweet, full of love and joy. We pull apart after a few moments, still grinning at each other. "Now, what should I do with you?" He says playfully, raising his eyebrows and grinning mischievously. "Should I throw you into the water?"

I gasp and squeal, shaking my head rapidly. "No! Please, don't do that! It's probably freezing cold! Don't you dare throw me into the water, Conrad!"

"Well, too bad!" He exclaimed with a laugh, his eyes glittering with mischief and he scooped me up in his arms, carrying me towards the water. I squealed and laughed as Conrad carried me toward the ocean, his grip firm and playful.

"Conrad, no! Don't you dare!" I protested, though my voice was filled with laughter. The cold air and the snowflakes falling around us only added to the exhilaration of the moment. I struggled playfully in his arms, my laughter mingling with the sound of the ocean waves. The chilly breeze felt invigorating, and despite my protests, the thrill of the moment made me laugh even harder. Conrad's grin widened as he waded closer to the edge of the water, the snowflakes melting on his warm skin.

"Okay, okay! I surrender!" I shouted, laughing as I tried to wiggle free, though my struggles were half-hearted.

Conrad finally stopped just before the water's edge, setting me down gently on the sand. He looked at me with a triumphant smile, and I could see the laughter dancing in his eyes. "Alright, alright. No water for you." He grins. "For now."

I narrow my eyes at him, shaking my head. "Don't even think about it. You're the worst."

"Aw, you know you love me." Conrad replied, pulling me closer and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"I do." I murmur, tilting my head up to meet his gaze. I smiled fondly, my heart fluttering. "I really do." I ignore suddenly feeling lightheaded and the dizzy spell I'm feeling. I just thought it was because of losing my balance when he sat me back down and being lightheaded from us playfully fighting and laughing. I'm fine. I'm just fine. Everything's okay. I'm fine. We're fine. Just focus on him and everything will be okay. I push the thoughts out of my mind. I didn't want to ruin this moment with worrying thoughts. 

This was the most peaceful and perfect night. I wasn't going to let my worry about the leukemia coming back ruin it. I wouldn't allow it. So I ignore the worry in the back of my mind. Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay. I was with the love of my life, surrounded by snowflakes and the calming sounds of the ocean waves. Nothing could be more perfect. "I love you, Conrad." I said softly, my heart racing. "More than anything."

"I love you too." Conrad returned the smile, his expression softening as he gazed down at me. He leaned forward, his lips brushing mine in a tender kiss. I closed my eyes, sighing happily and relaxing into the kiss. The soft, slow rhythm of the ocean waves, the chill of the breeze, the gentle, cold flakes of snow landing on my skin, it all made the moment feel surreal. My heart was racing, and yet, I felt so peaceful and content. This was absolute bliss.

We pulled apart after a moment, smiling softly at each other. I felt like I was in a dream, the scene before me seeming too perfect to be real. The snow had started to accumulate on the beach, giving the shore a shimmering, magical appearance. Conrad was gazing down at me, a look of pure joy on his face. His eyes were full of light, and his smile was radiant. My heart skipped a beat and a rush of love and affection for him coursed through me.

"Oh! Hold on, I wanna take a selfie." I pull my phone out, opening the camera app and stand closer to Conrad. He wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. I smile brightly as I take a picture of us, the background showing the snow and ocean. I look through the pictures and grin. They were absolutely perfect. "Perfect." I grin after looking at the picture I took. I look back at Conrad, blushing when I notice his gaze. He had been staring at me, his gaze full of love and affection.

"Yeah, perfect." He murmured, his eyes never leaving mine.

We stare at each other for a few moments, before Conrad reaches out and brushes a stray hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. The gesture was simple, but it made my heart race and my breath catch in my throat. The snowflakes continued to drift down around us, the moonlight illuminating the water's edge. Conrad was looking at me with such adoration, his eyes shining under the stars.

"You are so beautiful." He whispers, his gaze searching mine.

I blush and duck my head shyly, his words making my heart flutter and a rush of warmth flood through me. "Shut up." I playfully shove him, giggling when he reached forward and tried to tickle me. I squealed, dodging his attempts. Somehow we end up tumbling to the sand, our laughter echoing in the cold air. We ended up rolling around the beach, snow and sand flying everywhere, neither of us caring that we were getting all dirty.

Eventually, Conrad managed to pin me down, his hands pinning mine above my head. He had a triumphant, smug smile on his face, which was covered with specks of sand and snow. His eyes were filled with light and joy, and his cheeks were flushed from exertion. I grinned up at him, feeling breathless.

"Well, hello there." I grin, looking up at him. He smirks down at me, his eyes twinkling.

"Hey, there." He replies, his voice low and playful. "So, I have you trapped now, what should I do?"

"Hmm, I don't know." I say, smirking up at him and batting my eyelashes playfully. "I think you should give me a kiss."

Conrad chuckles, leaning down and capturing my lips in a passionate, slow kiss. I return the kiss, feeling breathless. His lips were warm against mine, and the feeling of his weight pressing down on me made my heart race. My eyes fluttered shut, and I lost myself in the kiss. The feeling of the cold sand, the soft snowflakes falling around us, the chill of the ocean breeze, and the warmth of his kiss was a thrilling contrast. It felt like a dream, and I never wanted the moment to end. All too soon, Conrad pulled away, grinning down at me. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were sparkling. His hair was a mess, and he was covered in sand and snow. He looked absolutely beautiful.

"We should head inside." He suggests. "It's cold out here."

"Yeah, we should." I agree as I nod. He was right. It was a lot colder than I thought it was, and my teeth were starting to chatter. Plus the chilly breeze was beginning to seep through my layers, making me shiver. As Conrad helped me up, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of reluctance to leave the magical night behind. It had been such a perfect moment, and I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible.

Conrad let go of my hands and stood, reaching out a hand to help me up. I take his hand, smiling gratefully as he pulled me to my feet. We make our way back to the house, holding hands and walking slowly. The snow had started to accumulate, creating a light dusting of white on the sand. The moon was full and bright, casting a silver glow on the water's edge. Once we were inside, Conrad went to the fireplace, starting the fire while I made us hot cocoa. When we had everything settled and ready, we sat on the couch, snuggled under a blanket, and sipped our drinks as we watched the fire crackle and the snow continue to fall outside the window.

The cozy atmosphere, the warmth of the fire, the softness of the blanket, and the closeness of Conrad's body against mine made me feel so safe and loved. I sighed happily, feeling a wave of contentment and serenity wash over me.

"This is perfect." I murmur, nuzzling into Conrad's side and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, it is." Conrad replies, his voice soft and tender. "I love you so much. This is one of the best Christmases ever." He stroked my hair gently, his fingers brushing against my cheek. I nestled closer, savoring the warmth and comfort of the moment. The soft glow of the fire cast a warm light around the room, and the sound of the snow falling outside created a serene backdrop.

I close my eyes, feeling peaceful and happy. "I love you, too, Conrad." I whisper, feeling his arms tighten around me. "This is the most wonderful Christmas ever." I open my eyes, meeting his gaze. His eyes were full of emotion, his face softened by the firelight. He smiled tenderly at me, his gaze warm and affectionate. His hand in my hair moved to cup my face, his thumb gently caressing my cheek. I shiver at the sudden coldness from his hand. He must've noticed because he pulled his hand back.

"Sorry, my hand is a bit cold."

I laugh. "That's okay." I reach for his hand, taking it in mine. "Mine are too, I don't care." I bring his hand up to my lips, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. I smile when I see his expression change, his eyes softening. He smiled warmly, his eyes reflecting a mixture of affection and gratitude. I lean my head on his shoulder and his hand moved from my cheek to slid down my arm, sending a shiver down my spine. 

His hand came to rest on my hip, sliding under my shirt. I shiver again as his fingers traced slow circles on my skin, sending tingles throughout my body. This time when I shiver he doesn't pull away. Conrad's touch was both electrifying and soothing, sending waves of warmth through me despite the chill from his fingers. He continued to trace gentle circles on my skin, his touch making me feel cherished and adored. I leaned closer, reveling in the closeness of our bodies and the tender connection between us.

The fire crackled softly in the background, casting a warm, flickering glow around us. The snow outside seemed to create a magical cocoon, insulating us from the world and making the moment even more intimate. I felt Conrad's heartbeat against me, steady and comforting, as he held me close. His fingers slowly explored the curve of my waist, and I let out a contented sigh. The softness of the blanket, the richness of the hot cocoa, and the warmth of Conrad's embrace combined to make everything feel incredibly perfect. I felt loved and safe, and I never wanted the moment to end.

I look up at him, my heart skipping a beat at the tender expression on his face. He was looking out the window at the snow, a thoughtful smile on his lips. He was beautiful, and the fact that he was mine, well, that made him even more beautiful. I reached up and traced the outline of his jaw, smiling softly as he turned to look at me. His eyes were filled with emotion, a mixture of love, tenderness, and desire. I blushed under his intense gaze, my heart pounding. When I notice his gaze flick to my lips, I lick them nervously, swallowing hard as I leaned closer, our faces inches apart. 

I feel the warmth of his breath mingling with mine, the anticipation creating a tender electric connection between us. Conrad's eyes soften, and he closes the gap, his lips meeting mine in a gentle, lingering kiss. The kiss is both sweet and intense, a perfect blend of passion and affection. I can feel his love in every touch, every caress, and it's like we're the only two people in the world. I return the kiss with equal passion and tenderness, savoring the taste and feel of his lips. It feels like a dream, and I don't want to wake up.

After a few moments, we pull apart, both of us smiling softly. Conrad's eyes are bright, his cheeks flushed. He looks so beautiful in the firelight, and my heart aches with how much I love him. He brushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my neck. His hand came to rest on my shoulder, his thumb brushing lightly over the bare skin just above my collarbone. His touch sends tingles through me, and I shiver slightly, a small gasp escaping my lips.

"I love you." Conrad says, his voice low and husky. "So much."

"I love you too." I breathe, feeling breathless from the intensity of his gaze. He leans down, capturing my lips in another tender kiss, and I lose myself in the sensation. His lips are soft and warm, his tongue darting out to tease my own. My hands move to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and I can feel his arms tighten around me.

He tastes sweet, like hot chocolate and love. Our kisses grow more heated, and his hands roam over my body, caressing my curves. I shiver again, gasping when his hand slides under my shirt, his fingers exploring the skin of my back. His hand was still cold, but his touch was so gentle and tender that it sent sparks of pleasure through me. I arched against him, pressing my body closer and deepening the kiss. The heat from the fire, the softness of the blanket, and the closeness of Conrad's body was making me feel so comfortable and relaxed, and yet, the intimacy of the moment was thrilling and exhilarating. I felt so connected to him, and his touch made my heart race. I was drowning in pleasure, and I never wanted the moment to end.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Conrad breaks the kiss, pulling back slightly. He gazes at me, his expression full of love and tenderness. He reaches out, gently stroking my cheek. His eyes search mine, and his smile is filled with affection. I melt under his gaze, and a rush of emotion swells in my chest. We've never went all the way yet, but tonight...It felt like the perfect night for it. I felt a shiver run down my spine as Conrad leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. The kiss was sweet and slow, and when we pulled apart, he was gazing at me with such devotion that my heart skipped a beat. 

His hands gripped my hips under my shirt, gently tugging me closer. I let him pull me on his lap, blushing and smiling shyly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked so gorgeous in the firelight, and I wanted nothing more than to be close to him, to feel his body pressed against mine. I leaned down, capturing his lips in another passionate kiss, my heart racing. His hands were warm now, and he explored my skin, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

We continued to kiss, losing ourselves in the moment. The heat from the fire, the softness of the blanket, the warmth of his body, and the intensity of his kisses were making me feel so alive, so loved, so cherished. I never wanted the moment to end. As we lost ourselves in the feeling of each other, I knew that tonight would be a night we'd never forget. Our kisses grew more passionate, our touches more heated. He explored my body, his hands moving slowly and gently, yet with an urgency that took my breath away. He kissed his way down my neck, his tongue tracing circles on my skin, sending waves of pleasure through me. He was intoxicating, and I was completely lost in the moment.

Eventually, we had to break apart for air. We rested our foreheads together, breathing heavily and smiling softly. Conrad looked at me, his gaze full of love and adoration. His hands came to rest on my waist, holding me securely as he leaned forward, pressing a tender kiss to my lips.

"I love you so much." He whispered, his breath warm against my skin.

"I love you, too." I replied, my heart skipping a beat.

He smiles softly, his eyes full of emotion. He pauses before adding, "Um, I hope you know I didn't just bring you here for, you know...That." He blushes, ducking his head shyly. "I mean, not that I'd mind if we did, but um, yeah..." He trailed off, looking adorably flustered. He didn't normally act like this. It was cute.

I blush, my heart racing at the thought. "I know, I know." I reassure him, smiling tenderly. "I love you so much. I know you brought me here for a romantic getaway, not just...For that. I mean, we've been together for months, and you've been a complete gentleman, but...Tonight, I really want you. All of you." I confess, my cheeks flushing. "I want my first time to be with you, Conrad."

Conrad's eyes widened, and he swallowed hard, his gaze searching mine. I could tell that he was trying to hold himself back, but the desire in his eyes was clear. He bit his lip, his hands tightening their grip on my waist. He looked like he was about to say something, but I cut him off with a passionate kiss, pressing my body against his and tangling my fingers in his hair. He returned the kiss with equal fervor, his hands moving from my waist to cup my face. I could feel the desire building within him, his touches growing more urgent.

He pulls away, panting. "You're sure?" He asked, his voice low and husky. He sounded a little hesitant, and I knew that he didn't want to push me into anything. He was always so careful and considerate. It was one of the things I love most about him. He'd always put my needs and wants before his own. He was always so sweet, caring, and protective, and he had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever met. He was kind and compassionate, and he treated me like a queen. But as his gaze ran over me, his eyes fell on my arm and concern filled his gaze.

"What?" I question, furrowing my eyebrows.

"How'd you get that bruise? It looks fresh." He murmurs, his hand coming up to graze the bruise on my arm. I shiver at the sudden coldness. I look at him with confusion and glance over at it, not realizing I had. Then I remembered something. Unexplained bruises was one of the symptoms of the leukemia, and that made me realize the unexplained bruises I've had lately now made sense. I wasn't able to come up with a reasonable explanation, and it was getting harder to lie about it.

I knew it would eventually lead to him finding out that my leukemia was back, but I wanted to avoid it. At least for now. "Oh, I think I must've hit it on something. It's nothing, really. You know how clumsy I am." I say, hoping that would satisfy his worry. He looked skeptical, but he didn't press the issue. I was grateful, because I wasn't ready to tell him yet. I didn't want to ruin the moment. He leaned down, kissing the bruise gently, as if his touch could heal it. It made my heart flutter. How was he so perfect?

He pulls back, giving me a soft smile. "Okay. If you say so." He said, his tone laced with uncertainty. "Just let me know if you need anything." He added, his voice soft and tender.

I smile at him, feeling a rush of love for him. He was so sweet, so considerate. Instead of replying, I just smile and kiss him again, putting all the love and desire I feel into the kiss. I push the thought of my leukemia possibly coming back out of my head and focus on the moment, on the feel of his body against mine, his lips on mine. My hands moved to the hem of his shirt, tugging on it. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, to be as close to him as possible. Conrad seems to understand my unspoken desire, and he breaks the kiss to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. I admire his toned body, running my hands over his smooth skin. He shivers under my touch, his breath hitching.

I feel a rush of desire, my heart pounding as I lean in to capture his lips in a searing kiss. He responds eagerly, his hands gripping my waist. We lose ourselves in the feeling of each other, and soon the blanket falls off of us, the heat of the fire and our passion driving away the chill. Conrad gently pushed me back, laying me down on the couch. He looked so sexy hovering over me, his body bathed in the firelight. My heart fluttered, and I pulled him closer, desperate for his touch. As we continue to explore each other's bodies, the fire continues to crackle and the snow continues to fall outside the window. The scene was so beautiful and serene, yet full of passion and desire. It felt like we were in our own little world, and the rest of the world didn't exist. The only thing that mattered was the two of us, and the intense connection between us.

My shirt comes off, he pulls it off and tosses it to the floor to let it fall next to his. His breath hitches as his gaze travels down my body. His gaze is filled with admiration and desire, and it sends a thrill through me. I've never felt more beautiful than in this moment. He smiles softly, his hand coming to rest on my hip. His touch is warm, and I shiver as he traces circles on my skin. He leans down, pressing soft kisses along my neck and collarbone, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin. He's careful and attentive, and I know that he'll be gentle and patient when it comes time for the real thing. I can't help but feel a thrill of excitement and anticipation, and I can't wait to take that final step with him. I can't believe it's finally happening. I can't believe we're here, together, on Christmas Eve, about to make love. It's a moment I've been dreaming of for a long time, and it feels so right, so perfect. Conrad's touch is gentle and loving, and I know that tonight is going to be special, no matter what.

****

Later that night, we laid next to each other in front of the fire on the couch with a blanket covering our naked bodies. We were pressed against each other, and I could feel his heartbeat against me. I had my head resting on his chest, listening to his breathing. It was calm and steady, and it lulled me into a state of relaxation. His arm was draped across me, holding me close. It felt so nice, so safe, so right. I was between him and the couch, on my side as I laid my head on his bare chest. My right arm was around his waist and my hand laid on his chest, lightly brushing against the skin. 

Our legs were tangled together, and our bodies were pressed together, skin-to-skin. His other hand was on my back, his fingers gently tracing patterns on my skin. The feeling was both soothing and electrifying, sending shivers down my spine. The warmth of his body and the heat from the fire were keeping me warm, and I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to spend the night. Sweat glistened on our skin from our earlier lovemaking, but neither of us seemed to care. It was quiet, the only sound being the soft crackling of the fire.

I sighed contentedly, snuggling closer to Conrad and closing my eyes. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. To think that a few months ago, I was still a virgin. That I'd never had sex before, and never imagined that I'd lose it to the most handsome man in the world. Now, here I was, curled up naked with him on a couch by the fireplace, having experienced the most amazing, passionate, sensual night of my life. I still couldn't believe it, even now, hours later. It was a dream come true. A small smile formed on my lips, and I opened my eyes, gazing at the flames. 

They were dancing, flickering, casting their golden light around the room. It was beautiful, and I couldn't help but think that it was a perfect representation of how I felt inside. The fire was warm, bright, and alive. It was full of energy, yet it was also calming and soothing. It was a contradiction, but it made sense. Just like how I felt. I felt like I was on fire, full of passion and desire, yet at the same time, I was calm and content. Happy, relaxed, and satisfied. I had never felt more loved, cherished, and adored, and I knew that Conrad felt the same way.

I turned to look up at him, my eyes roaming over his face. He looked peaceful, his eyes closed, a small smile playing on his lips. His head was resting on the cushion, his hair slightly mussed. Noticing hickies on his neck, I blushed, a thrill going through me as I remembered how I put them there. Conrad's skin was glowing in the firelight, and his face was soft, the lines of stress and tension gone. He was completely at ease, and he looked absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't help but admire him, and I felt a surge of love for him. How did I get so lucky? How did I find the man of my dreams? It was like a fairy tale. I never thought I would end up with Conrad, but here we were, naked, lying in front of a fire on Christmas Eve. It was almost too good to be true.

I reached up, gently touching his cheek. He stirred slightly, opening his eyes and smiling at me. His gaze was full of love, tenderness, and desire. It made my heart race, and I felt a rush of warmth go through me. Conrad leans into my hand, turning to kiss my palm. The gesture was simple, but it was full of emotion, and it made my heart skip a beat. I smile warmly at him, leaning up and capturing his lips in a soft kiss. It's gentle, sweet, and loving, and it fills me with a sense of joy and happiness.

"I love you." I murmur in between kisses, my heart overflowing with emotion.

"I love you too." He murmured, smiling softly.

Conrad's eyes are full of love and adoration, and I know that he's the one for me. The man of my dreams. The person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I snuggle close to him, sighing contentedly. It's late, and I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep. I want to stay awake, to bask in the glow of the fire and the warmth of Conrad's embrace. To enjoy every second of this perfect, magical moment. Outside, the snow is still falling, the fire is still crackling, and Conrad is still holding me in his arms. Nothing else matters. I've never been happier, and I know that this is a moment I'll treasure forever. Possibly having my leukemia come back was something to deal with later. For now, I was content, happy, and at peace.  Outside, the world may be cold and dark, but inside, it's warm and bright. And tonight, on Christmas Eve, in front of a fire, in the arms of the man I love, everything is perfect.