(The beeps are the things that separate each incorrect quote)

*The squad is having dinner together*

Greta: Hermione, can you pass the salt?

Hermione: *throws Draco across the table*

*BEEP*

Greta: C'mon, I wasn't that drunk last night

Hermione: You were flirting with Draco

Greta: So what? He's my partner

Hermione: You asked him if he was single

Greta:

Hermione: And then you cried when he said he wasn't

*BEEP*

Greta: What's a word that's a mix between "sad" and "mad"?

Hermione: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated--

Draco: Smad

*BEEP*

Greta: I know you snuck out last night, Draco!

Hermione: Play dumb!

Draco: Who's Draco?

Hermione: NOT THAT DUMB!!

*BEEP*

*Greta and Draco are sitting in jail together*

Draco: So, who should we call?

Greta: I'd call Hermione, but I feel safer in jail

*BEEP*

Greta: I trust Draco

Hermione: You think he knows what he's doing?

Greta: I wouldn't go that far

*BEEP*

*Squad's reaction to being told "I love you"*

Ron: Thanks, fam!

Harry: Oh, no!

Neville: *cries* I love you too

Draco: Sounds fake but ok

Greta: *a flustered mess*

Hermione: Can I get a refund?

*BEEP*

"Can I copy your homework?"

Ron: I can help you with it!

Harry, Yeah, sure

Neville: Bold of you to assume I did the homework

Draco: Lol nope

Greta: Wait, we had homework?!

Hermione: *read 5:55 pm*

*BEEP*

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Ron: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad. I just wanna know

Everyone:

Harry: ...I did it. I broke it

Ron: No. No you didn't. Neville?

Neville: Don't look at me. Look at Draco

Draco: What?! I didn't break it

Neville: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Draco: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken

Neville: Suspicious

Draco: No, it's not!

Greta: If it matters, probably not, but Hermione was the last one to use it

Hermione: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Greta: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Hermione: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Greta!

Harry: Ok, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ron

Ron: No! Who broke it?!

Everyone:

Greta: Ron... Neville's been awfully quiet

Neville: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Ron: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it

*BEEP*

Ron: Hewwo

Harry: Hihiiiii!

Neville: Greetings, Humans

Greta: Three kinds of people

Draco: I want pudding

Ron: Four kinds of people

Hermione: WHAT'S UP, *******?!

Greta: Five kinds of people

*BEEP*

Draco: I've done a lot of dumb stuff

Greta: I witnessed the dumb stuff

Harry: I recorded the dumb stuff

Hermione: I joined in on the dumb stuff

Ron: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!

*BEEP*

Draco: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Harry will and will not eat

Greta: Grass? Yes!

Draco: Moss? Yes!

Greta: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Draco: Shoelaces? Strange but true

Greta: Worms? Sometimes

Draco: Rocks? Usually nah

Greta: Twigs? Usually

Draco: Ron's cooking? Inconclusive

Hermione: How did you... test this?

Draco: You just hand him stuff, and say "eat this" and if he eats it, he eats it

Hermione: ... I don't know how to feel about this

Ron: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?!

*BEEP*

Draco: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Greta: "Prettiest Smile"

Harry: "Nicest Personality"

Hermione: "Most Likely To Start A Bar Fight"

Ron: "Least Likely To Start A Bar Fight, But Most Likely To Win One"

*BEEP*

Draco, trying to convince Ron to join the group: You know... I'd thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong

Greta: And loud

Harry: And grumpy

Hermione: And oblivious to reality

Ron:

*BEEP*

Draco: Bye Greta! Bye Harry! Bye Hermione! Bye Ron! Bye Greta!

Harry: You said "Bye Greta" twice

Draco: I like Greta

*BEEP*

Draco: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Greta: Self-esteem! Haven't seen you in years

Harry: Oh, wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Hermione: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Ron: My morel code, is that you?

Draco:

Draco: I was just gonna show you this cool truck my mother left me, but do you guys need a hug?

*BEEP*

Draco: Anyone d--

Greta: Depressed?

Harry: Drained?

Hermione: Dumb?

Ron: Disliked?

Draco: --done with their work... What is wrong with you people?...

*BEEP*

Draco: Favorite horror movie?

Greta: It

Harry: Saw

Hermione: Annabelle

Ron: High School Musical. After watching it, I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics

*BEEP*

Draco: I'm an idiot

Greta:

Harry:

Hermione:

Ron:

Draco:

Greta: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day

*BEEP*

*stubs his toe*

Draco: ****!

Greta: Mind your language!

Draco: What else am I supposed to say? "Woe is I?"

Greta:

Draco: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes

*BEEP*