At first, Louis has been sceptical. Spending an afternoon in town with Sean didn't sound like such a good idea to him, considering their past school friendship and taking into account that Sean knew too much and could ask any second and corner Louis. But so far, he didn't seem to plan on bombarding Louis with questions. He had survived two hours and actually felt good. It was nice to have Sean back in his life, in some way. They've been such good friends.

"That really wasn't my fault. Josh had the original idea" Sean claimed, almost choking on his own laughter.

"That's so you, always putting the blame on someone else" Louis laughed along with him. "You didn't need to go along with it".

"Oh, but I did. Josh had a way of animating people to blindly do his bullshit and you know that" Sean justified himself.

"Fair point" Louis had to admit, wallowing in memories. "I can still see Mr Bennet's face in my head. He was so mad".

"It was worth the month of detention" Sean shrugged amused.

"We had so much detention that it was weird not having a single day of detention in my last year," Louis thought out loud.

"You were definitely missing in our group" Sean let him know, obviously trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

"I missed you, too. I just couldn't ... It was difficult for me" Louis struggled to find the right words. He didn't mean to go there.

"I can only imagine how hard it was for you and I never had the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I wish ... I understand why you cut yourself off from everyone. It was just sad" Sean stopped to look at him but Louis couldn't look him in the eye.

"I didn't mean to cut myself off" Louis muttered quietly, not sure if Sean had even heard him.

"Louis, can I ask you something without you getting mad at me?" Sean rocked back and forth nervously.

"Yeah" Louis wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this question.

"When we were at Àmbar's you told the others you never had a boyfriend. Why did you lie?" Sean asked carefully, definitely trying not to upset Louis but he had expected him to ask one day.

"Wasn't keen on questions. They don't need to know. I know he's your brother but ... our relationship wasn't good. Don't feel like talking about it" Louis pretended to be unaffected but inside he was screaming and only these few sentences hurt like hell.

"Is this also the reason you never contacted me again but your mother thought we were still friends?" Sean checked softly. Louis felt his throat closing up, so he only nodded without looking up. "I know how Kyle can be when he ... I've seen him with his new ... Be honest, Louis. Did he tell you to cut us off?".

With his heart racing wildly in his chest, Louis looked up at Sean and put on a neutral expression. "Shouldn't we hurry? Harry's off in three minutes. Don't wanna leave him hanging".

"Louis!" Sean called after him when Louis started to sprint towards the bakery but Louis ignored him. Quickly, Sean caught up with him. "I get it, Louis. I understand. Won't ask again".

A part of Louis felt like shit for pushing Sean away like this all over again but he couldn't talk about this, especially not to Sean. They were brothers. Sean could never be on his side, not even if he wanted to, which he obviously wouldn't want if he knew the truth. All Louis wanted was to forget about the past. Talking about it wouldn't make it better, only worse. He didn't need sympathy or pity from an old friend. There was no turning back.

"Guys, Hi. Thank you for picking me up" Harry greeted them when they had reached the little bakery. Louis really hoped they didn't look suspicious or tense. "Everything alright?".

Of course, Harry would notice the obvious tension between them. That's why past talks were never a good idea. It only made life worse instead of making it better. Where was the use?

"We're good. We've been talking about old school stories. We've caused a lot of trouble back in the day" Sean rushed out, nudging Louis' side shortly in reassurance but it only made him flinch against his will. Sean only meant well. And of course, this didn't go unnoticed by Sean, who frowned lightly.

"Just the two of you?" Harry quirked an eyebrow at them in curiosity.

"We and our old group. Josh was the leader together with our Louis. They were a great duo of mischief" Sean let him in on old memories. "Then there was Alec and Cody, our evil twins Ethan and Aidan, who were actually quite nice. And we had women power in the form of Chloe, Maya and Bailey. Oh, and Victoria".

"That's a pretty huge group" Harry marvelled impressed.

"You're right with that. We were part of the football or basketball teams or the swim team. The school newspaper was also infiltrated by us, just like the drama club and choir. We were everywhere and inseparable" Sean continued letting Harry in. "Always sad when those friendships don't last".

"None of them?" Harry frowned sadly while Louis watched Sean in surprise. He didn't know that.

"I mean, we text here and there but it's different. We have other lives now and our ways parted. Not all but most. I'm still quite close with Alec, Cody and Chloe but that's about it" Sean told him.

"And Louis. Now that you met again" Harry added excitedly.

"And Louis" Sean smiled down at Louis, who didn't know what to feel but tried to send him a smile back.

Together, they sat down by a water fountain in the middle of the city. It was a cloudy day but luckily, not rainy. That's why the city wasn't too crowded and Louis had a good view of the people around him while Harry and Sean chatted lively next to him. A few times Louis was close to joining their conversation but something held him back. Louis really wanted to get to know Harry better and maybe get Sean back as his friend but he had become overly careful of what to say or do and couldn't change it.

"We loved to do that back then. For fun, we always pretended to be a band" Louis heard Sean tell Harry freely.

"I'd love to see that" Harry chuckled at the thought. "What bands did you cover mostly?".

"We sang our own songs, Louis' songs mostly" Sean informed him thoughtlessly.

"You write songs?" Harry immediately addressed Louis in surprise with big question marks on his face.

"I did, yeah. Sometimes it's a good way to put your thoughts into words and let them go" Louis replied curtly.

"Wow, I didn't expect that but somehow that makes a lot of sense. Would you show me something someday?" Harry asked cutely.

But Louis didn't answer him. He was staring into the distance absolutely petrified. He had spotted someone he never wanted to see again and at the same time, he has been longing to see him again. His mind and his heart were torn on how to feel.

"Louis?" Sean snapped with his fingers but in vain.

"What's wrong with him?" Harry asked worriedly.

Louis could only stare at them. There he was, right in his reach but so far away. Kyle wasn't seeing him. He was too focused on the girl next to him, a possessive arm around her waist. Louis would bet his life that this was the girl who had picked up the phone a while ago and told him to fuck off and leave Kyle alone. Seeing them all loved-up right now hurt like a bitch and Louis didn't know what to do or to feel or to think. This was too much.

But life could always get worse. Suddenly, Kyle turned his head around and looked around as if he was searching for something. Maybe he had felt someone watching him because only a second later, their eyes met and Louis froze completely. Kyle's eyes glowered darkly when he recognised him and Louis gulped in fear. To his relief, Kyle didn't come over to him. Instead, he tightened his grip on the girl's waist and pulled her more into him, kissing her passionately while side-eyeing Louis to prove a point. Watching the way he held her and kissed her and claimed her made Louis feel sick. He needed to get away.

"Sorry. I need to go. Jonah wanted my help" Louis jumped up abruptly, startling Sean and Harry big time.

"What? But we wanted to ...".

"What's wrong, Louis?" Sean grabbed him by the shoulders, not without obviously seeing him wince at the touch.

"Nothing" Louis croaked out, glancing back at Kyle.

Sean saw that and followed his gaze, spotting his brother making out with some girl, causing him to sigh heavily. "Louis ...".

"I really need to go. Sorry" Louis all but ran away from them.

He didn't care what they might think now or what they would do without him. He couldn't sit there and watch Kyle snogging the living hell out of someone only to rile him up. The way he had grabbed her and kissed her looked so familiar and Louis had felt Kyle's touch all over his body, which he didn't want. Not anymore. Not after realising how wrong it has been.

Bolting through the big front door of the house of love, Louis ran up the stairs and right towards the art studio but it was empty, which was so weird. Hastily, Louis ran to Jonah's room and didn't bother knocking. He tore the door open and Jonah jumped at the sudden interruption but as soon as he spotted Louis, his whole posture softened and his eyes filled with sympathy.

"Come here, Tommy" Jonah patted the spot next to him on his bed and maybe Louis was okay with sympathy when it was Jonah.

Emotionally overwhelmed, Louis waddled over to Jonah and sat down with a shaky sigh. His eyes were stinging and he could feel his throat going dry and closing up. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating up his throat, making him feel as if he was suffocating on the spot but then he felt Jonah's arm around his shoulders and his hand on his back gently. Something about Jonah being there for him in silence without any kind of pressure made Louis relax and melt into the touch.

"Whenever you wanna talk about what's bothering you I'm right here, Tommy" Jonah mumbled into his ear softly.

The softness of Jonah's voice and his caring made all of Louis' walls crumble and the tears started to fall uncontrollably. He buried his head in Jonah's chest and cried for what felt like hours. Jonah just let him and drew soothing circles onto his back. He was so thankful to have met Jonah. He was his rock in the wild ocean.

"I saw him. In town. With someone else" Louis brought out between his hiccuped sobs.

"Who?" Jonah asked a bit befuddled.

"Do you remember that Sean has an older brother?" Louis wiped his nose with the end of his sleeve, sitting back up.

"Yeah, Kyle, right?" Jonah nodded, watching him closely.

"He was my boyfriend" Louis locked eyes with Jonah.

"That's why Sean looked so confused when you said you never had a boyfriend" Jonah looked puzzled but didn't ask the obvious question of Louis lying to him as well.

"He asked me about it today and I partly lied to him again. I feel so bad but I don't want everyone to know about K-Kyle. I don't wanna answer questions and tell them what happened. I only recently realised everything that was wrong with us" Louis hung his head down in shame, expecting Jonah to be mad at him or upset.

But Jonah only touched his chin tenderly and lifted it up so Louis would meet his eyes. Jonah's eyes were full of understanding and oh-so-soft, that it brought new tears to Louis' eyes. "I get it, Tommy. It's tiring and triggering to always get questions about your past".

"It really is. I tried to bury my past as deep as possible but it keeps coming back up. It left so many scars and I can't hide from my demons anymore" Louis sniffled quietly.

"If you wanna tell me what happened between you two I'm all ears but if it's better for you to push it away then I accept that"Jonah offered him an honest smile.

"I planned on telling you about him a few days ago but I didn't find the right words yet. After seeing him today I just needed to see you. I left Harry and Sean behind and came right here" Louis let him know truthfully.

"I'll take whatever you tell me to the grave with me" Jonah promised him, taking Louis' hand for comfort.

"Thank you, Joey. You're really the best friend in this entire universe" Louis just had to let him know that before collecting his thoughts and trying to find the right words to cut this as short as possible but there simply was no way. "I met Kyle obviously through Sean because we've been friends for years. During my junior year, things got ... bad. My younger sister Emily died of cancer right before senior year. I couldn't go to school, mentally mostly. So, I had to 'retake' my senior year. Around that time, my friend Alec and I had been dating for two months. We have only kissed but nothing else. But when Emily's health only got worse I spiralled down and that's where Kyle came in. He obviously knew about this through Sean and by now, I think I only gave him a chance because I was emotionally so vulnerable. Due to him being persistent and always pressing without a break, Alec and I didn't work out and I ended up with Kyle instead. He didn't want me to hang out with Alec and the guys anymore because he claimed they would try to get me and Alec back together. Naïve as I was, I believed him and cut my friends off without an explanation. That's how Sean and I and the other guys lost contact. Which is weird because Sean was always around but never involved".

"Recently when I met up with Maribel and the guys, I realised how shitty he was to me. She told us about her ex-boyfriend and how she was manipulated into her first time. Somehow that opened my eyes. The way she talked about it and the whole situation. I mean, before that I've noticed some things while looking back but that was a key moment for me. I still remember the day I arrived here. The first thing I did was call him, even though it was his fault I ended up here. In a way. He never picked up, she did but that doesn't matter. It matters that even though he abused me that day all I cared about was hearing his voice and apologising for everything".

After saying this out loud, Louis laughed dryly at his own words and his old self. How could he have been so dumb? He has been so pathetic, maybe he still was.

"He also manipulated me into my first time. I realised that by now. I wasn't ready for it but he didn't care. He is two years older and always gave me the feeling I had to catch up to his standards. I had to rush into ... to make up for those two years worth of lack in experience. He made me feel so small and insignificant and as if I needed him more than he needed me, as if he was doing something amazing by being my boyfriend. By enduring me and letting me have him. It wasn't amazing. This first time was cruel and every time after that wasn't any better. It was always harsh and brutal and possessive. He was very possessive everywhere. I wasn't allowed to do anything that could draw attention to me. No football, no skating, no friends and almost no uni. He didn't want me to go and I was ready to obey but my mum wasn't okay with it. She didn't know about him obviously. We kept it a secret from my family but everywhere else he always made sure everyone knew I belonged to him and they better stay away. That's why Àmbar and Luke only became my friends now. He always waited at the class entrance and kissed me ... It wasn't nice".

"But that all came to an end when I wanted to do something different. For a short moment, I had a clear mind and noticed that he was always taking but never giving. I've been left with blue balls so many times I lost count but ... The day I came here, I asked him to top for once. That was the biggest mistake of my life. He flipped. He has been abusive before without me seeing it as that but on that day he completely lost it. I ended up beaten up on the floor, where he took what he wanted one last time before he told me we were over and left. And what did I do? I ran after him, still in pain but I didn't care. Instead of Kyle, I was met with my father. He screamed at me for being gay and having disgusting sex under his roof. He kicked me out five minutes after Kyle abused me".

Letting all of this out felt so good and like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. Finally, someone knew and could understand why he was the way he was now. Why he reacted to certain things the way he did even if he didn't understand it himself for some time.

"Oh, Tommy" Jonah pulled him back into his arms tightly.

"It's okay, Joey" Louis assured him with trembling hands.

"No, it's not. But you're okay now" Jonah tightened his grip on him but not too much, giving him the possibility to leave.

"Getting this off my chest felt good. Seeing him today with her and realising he kissed her like that to rile me up because he is purely evil did something to me. I need to get over this and leave it in the past but pushing it away won't do the trick. I just needed to tell you. I'm just not sure I can tell this anyone else" Louis admitted meekly.

"You don't have to. I'm here and I won't leave" Jonah caressed Louis' face tenderly.

"God, I forgot how it feels to have friends" Louis breathed out shakily. "Well, I never had a friend like you. I love you, Joey".

Jonah pressed a short kiss to Louis' forehead before pulling him back into his arms. "And I love you, Tommy".

"We did it! The first semester is over" Àmbar beamed freely.

"And we actually all passed. Are we sure no one bribed the professor?" Louis threw them a funny look.

"Don't look at me. My hands are clean" Luke held up his hands.

"They look dirty to me" Louis examined Luke's hands closer.

"They could be dirtier" Luke wiggled his eyebrows funnily.

"You're insufferable" Àmbar slapped him against the head.

"What? I didn't even say anything slightly sexual. You and your dirty thoughts are at fault here" Luke huffed cutely.

"Where did I say that anything you said was sexual? I only said you're insufferable" Àmbar raised an eyebrow at him challengingly. "Get your head out of the gutter, Luke!".

"What did I ever do to deserve you?!" Louis sighed dramatically.

"Something really bad" Àmbar winked at him. "Damn, I'm really glad I waited this long to start uni. Don't know if I would survive this without you two weirdos".

"Waited? You told me you never wanted to study because writing is your passion" Luke stared at her in disbelief.

"Details" Àmbar waved him off with a grin.

"How did you not kill each other without me in the picture?" Louis seriously wondered at that moment.

"I have no idea".

"That is still a miracle to me".

"Too bad that I have to leave you alone. I'd really like to watch your banter for a bit longer" Louis said sarcastically.

"Fuck off and fraternize with the little demons" Àmbar poked her tongue out at him jokingly.

"Have fun with the boys" Luke smiled brightly at him.

"Thanks. I will. Enjoy your evening, babes" Louis waved exaggeratedly in farewell.

Only fifteen minutes later, Louis arrived at Niall's 'flat' door in the employee quarter of the house. He could already hear some music and laughter coming through the door and he felt his heartbeat picking up. He hated this anxiety so much. He missed the easier times when he didn't have it.

After Niall let him in, Louis was met with the sight of his new friends scattered around the room. Harry and Sean were laughing about something while Liam had apparently found a way to talk to Jonah, who didn't look as uncomfortable as Louis had feared. It was nice to see Jonah letting someone else into his life.

"The lost son is here" Niall announced loudly, getting everyone's attention and Louis really wanted to punch him.

"Tommy!" Jonah jumped up and hugged Louis tightly.

"Hey, Joey" Louis mumbled into Jonah's neck smilingly.

"You are disgustingly cute" Niall gagged exaggeratedly.

"We're not disgusting" Jonah pouted like a baby.

"Sh, Joey. Ignore the Spanish devil. He is a mean and lonely Diablo" Louis cupped Jonah's face into his hands.

"If he is a Diablo, what am I?" Sean asked amusedly.

"A pain in the ass" Louis winked showy at him. "Mister America".

"It's not my fault my parents are American" Sean huffed sulkily.

"But it's your fault you're telling this everyone" Louis countered cheekily.

"He has a point" Liam threw in evilly.

"I hate both of you" Sean crossed his arms over his chest.

"But not me, right?" Harry made big eyes at him.

"No, you're nice to me. I love you" Sean pulled him into his arms.

"Do I smell a new ship?" Niall grinned excitedly but something was off in his voice. Louis just couldn't say what it was.

"Fuck off, Diablo" Sean glared at him playfully. "H is my platonic soulmate. I stole him from you for being mean".

"You can't do that!" Niall exclaimed outraged.

"Oh, but I can and I did" Sean smiled proudly.

"Sorry, Nialler. I was bribed into this with food" Harry grinned shamelessly. "And Sean gives nice hugs".

"I give great hugs" Niall looked right out insulted.

"Your hugs are old news" Harry shrugged unchanged.

"But Sean is evil. Come back into the light" Niall niggled.

"You can't lead me back into the light" Harry played along.

"But someone else?" Niall's ears perked up.

"Maybe" Harry grinned sheepishly.

"Who?" Niall was right in his face.

Harry's grin only grew wider and his eyes settled on Louis after what felt like an eternity. "Louis".

"Why?" Niall knitted his eyebrows together while Louis didn't understand what was even going on and Jonah and Liam seemed to be with him on that.

"Because a little bird told me he writes his own songs and that could convince me to come back to you into the light. To the right team and leave Sean" Harry revealed to him, making Louis freeze." But only if he can sing as well".

"You can sing, right?" Niall whirled around to face Louis.

"Um ... I wouldn't say ..." Louis felt cornered.

"That's a yes. All the good singers claim to be shit at singing. Sing us your song and Harry comes back to us" Niall made no freaking sense but no one seemed to care.

"No," Louis said simply but surely.

"Oh, come on. It's just for fun. We won't laugh if you're actually horrible" Niall whined childishly.

"Still no" Louis became restless.

"But ...".

"No means no, Niall" Louis pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Louis, please" Harry begged whiny, pouting dramatically and making big eyes at him. "For me".

A cold shiver ran down his spine and he tensed up upon hearing those words. His common sense and will to make friends shut off and only the heavily triggered part was left, making him snap at Harry meanly. "I said no! I only do things for myself and not for someone else, especially not for you!".

"What the hell, Louis?!" Niall exclaimed livid when Harry paled.

"Okay, fine. Don't sing but do you have to be so mean to him? Don't you think he was snapped at enough in his life or else he wouldn't be here? Be a bit more sensitive" Liam intervened now.

"I don't give a shit about his story. He didn't accept my answer. Where was the understanding there? I don't take orders or pleas for personal favours. Never" Louis balled his hands into fists.

"Never thought you'd be so ignorant and self-centred" Niall sat down next to Harry to comfort him, which was so overdramatic.

"I'm not ...".

"Are you all fucking serious right now?" Jonah exploded out of nowhere, taking everyone by surprise. "He told you more than once that he doesn't want to sing but you kept pressing and didn't accept his answer. It wasn't funny. Big eyes and a seductive pout with a fakely cute voice won't change that. Actually, it was pretty shitty to even go there and try that. Don't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. That's ignorant and pretty fucked up".

Liam, Niall and Harry stared at Jonah in utter shock while Louis only blinked up at him completely touched by his support. He really always had his back and understood what was going on with him. Jonah was an angel without wings. His guardian angel.

"Um ... I agree with Jonah. You really went too far. He said no pretty clearly. No means no, in every case. In a different context, your behaviour could be categorized as manipulative and toxic, which you're not but ... just saying" Sean spoke up hesitantly, making everyone look at him. Louis had the feeling that his words were supposed to mean so much more. He couldn't know, right?

"I think he knows" Jonah whispered into Louis' ear.

"But how?" Louis felt his hands starting to sweat.

"He's his brother after all. Maybe it's happening again" Jonah mused quietly.

"Maybe. I never even considered that as an option" Louis noted a bit too loudly.

"What option?" Liam and Niall questioned bewildered while Harry only looked at him with sad eyes.

"That you're toxic. You're not. I just ... I don't like to be told what to do or when someone tries to convince me against my will" Louis cleared his throat, coming up with a good reply.

"I never meant to force you into anything, Louis. I'm sorry. Also for calling you ignorant. Sorry" Niall looked so guilty.

"Me too, Louis. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just don't like to see Harry sad but seeing you in so much distress because of us is also not something I ever wanna see again, especially not when I'm the cause of it" Liam apologised wholeheartedly.

"It's okay, guys. We all went a bit too far" Louis waved the matter off, trying to ignore Harry's eyes still on him.

"How about we now go the far distance into the kitchen to grab some snacks and then throw in a movie?" Sean suggested to end this issue for now.

"No way. My feet are killing me" Louis shook his head. "Joey, can you grab something for me?".

"Of course, Tommy" Jonah pecked his cheek before he stood up and followed Sean and Liam.

"Harry?" Niall checked softly but Louis saw Harry only shaking his head no. "Okay".

When the other four were gone and Louis was left alone with Harry, a tension-filled silence fell over them. Louis didn't know what to do or what to say but seemingly, he didn't need to because Harry scooted over to him with a guilty look on his pretty face.

"Louis, I'm really sorry. It wasn't my intention to tell you what to do or manipulate you into agreeing with my face. I'm so sorry" Harry apologised heartfeltly. It made Louis feel weak in the knees.

"And I didn't mean to snap at you and I also didn't mean it when I said I don't care about your story. I do. I just don't know it yet and couldn't take into account ...".

"You don't need to apologise, Louis" Harry cut him off. "I don't know why Liam said any of the things he said. I did not get snapped at by everyone. That's not why I'm here. No idea how he came up with that".

"Oh" Louis didn't know what to say. "Why are you here then?".

"My grandparents are very religious and thus, homophobic sadly. I never could be myself around them and they never took any of my relationships seriously, always treated them like friendships. So, I left. I told them I would stay with Niall. They didn't care" Harry told him surprisingly easy. His story hurt Louis' heart.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Family should always care about you. It's really sad that's not always the case" Louis tried to show his sympathy. "And your parents? Did they ...?".

"They died years ago. Car crash" Harry let him know strongly.

"I'm sorry. I kinda know how that feels. I lost my sister too" Louis confessed to him and didn't know why. "Cancer".

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Louis" Harry's whole face fell.

"I can handle it by now but talking about it is still difficult for me" Louis tried to smile convincingly at him.

"You didn't need to tell me any of this" Harry made sure immediately. "It wasn't my intention to make you open up".

"I know, Haz" Louis assured him moved. "But you were honest with me, so I wanted to be honest with you".

"I appreciate it, Lou" Harry grabbed for his hand, squeezing it and Louis only winced shortly but sadly, not unnoticed.

"How do you feel about a party?" Louis quickly distracted from his weird antics.

"Depends. Whose party and where and when?" Harry let go of his hand and focused on Louis' face.

"My friend Luke from uni invited me to a party to celebrate the end of the first semester tomorrow. He told me to bring my friends. It's hard to get Joey anywhere near people, so I thought about you" Louis let him know, feeling himself blush. "And the guys".

"What about us?" Niall came back into the room loudly, followed by the other three guys.

Jonah sat down next to him again while Liam and Sean sat down next to Harry, forcing Harry to sit closer to Louis. "Um ... a party. Tomorrow. It's the end of the first semester for some of us".

"And the end of our semester as well" Jonah reminded him.

"That's right, JoJo. Party sounds lit. Let's do it" Sean rejoiced.

"You heard the man. Party it is" Liam cackled at him.

"Party time, guys!".

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Did you guess his backstory right? What are your thoughts?