There was a stretch of time after Blitz died when I disappeared from the world. Everyday felt the same.

So much was happening but I wasn't there to witness it. Blitz was my last hold to any kind of semblance of sanity that remained.

He and Robin had been my only friends and the only people I could see getting through this. They were brave, strong and now they were gone. It felt strange, and unfair for me to have somehow outlived them. 

And now I had no one at all.

A month or so in, Rachel started talking at me.

I say 'at' because she might as well have been conversing with the wall, I never reacted. I spent my days sitting in the same room for hours at a time, then falling asleep and waking up to start it all over.

I would have starved if Rachel hadn't brought me food. Sometimes I wish I had.

She would tell me about what Red was doing, nothing important, just gossip she overheard the guards saying.

We were going to get assigned roles soon, Red was making a game to decide who got what.

That was the big one that got spread around. At the time I thought it was made up. That Red hadn't really known what to do with us, that was why we were all locked up.

The only major difference he made for us was splitting the kids into three different houses.

One for the girls. One for the boys and one for the babies.

Me and Rachel shared a room with eight other girls. They didn't talk much either but they had their groups.

Would gather and huddle together. It looked comforting from a distance.

"We should have a funeral." Rachel told me on the tenth or so day of gossip-sharing.

"For our families and for R-our friends," She couldn't say their names.

Just lowered her head, letting her low auburn bangs cover her face. They had grown long over the month.

The other girls were listening and agreed. They passed along the message to the other girls in the house who spread the word to the boys.

They were careful to keep the message discrete so there was no trace for the teens to find.

The funeral was held from the  night of July 20th to the morning of July 21st. It was a coordinated plan, sneaking a few people out at a time to Blitz's tree to pay their respects to the dead.

Some buried things by the roots, nothing of value of course. Just little trinkets, clips and things.

I went with a girl I knew and a boy I didn't. We left one at a time and met at the tree.

Red did what he could to remove Blitz's remains from the husk that was the tree.

Though it might have been a trick of the light or my mind playing tricks on me I thought I could see his face melted into the dark wood.

The girl left a ribbon tied into a bow. The boy left the silver end of a pencil. I didn't leave anything.

We stood together in silence for about five minutes. I thought of my mother, my father, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, older cousins, teachers, neighbors and of course, Robin and Blitz.

I wondered if they were all together. Something inside me knew they weren't.

Then it was over.

The walk back was cold and silent. I had a mosquito bite on my thigh.

We were back just before the guards came by for the hourly check-in. They had relaxed the security again now that Blitz was gone.

No one tried to run away anymore. 

Rachel was waiting for me when I got back. Her turn had been one of the first.

For some reason I was surprised she was still awake. For once she didn't say a word to me.

She just sat by my mattress, curled up with goosebumps clear on her arms and legs. She was crying.

I made room for her in my sleeping bag and she took it, holding me tight as she drifted off as if afraid I would leave her too if she let go for even a second.

I hadn't really known Rachel before Red snapped. I'd never had many friends but she was always surrounded by people.

She played sports, and always wore her hair up in high ponytails. She got good grades and her parents always took her and her sister on vacations over the summer.

The closest we had been was while playing a game of truth or dare.

It was the first day of summer, a group of us were hanging out at the playground, sitting in a circle on the merry-go-round.

A pile of junk food, cans and water bottles were kept in the middle. I was there with Robin. I don't remember why she was there.

Rachel picked me for her turn. I wanted to pick truth but knew that was the boring answer so went with dare instead.

She passed me a pocket knife and dared me to go into the forest and give it to Rook.

Robin got pretty mad, took the knife from me and tossed it back to Rachel, telling her she could take it to Rook herself.

That was the first and last time she hung out with Rachel.

The next day I heard a knock at the door and found the pocket knife on the doorstep.

There wasn't any kind of note with it but it didn't need one. The message was loud and clear.

Then I had considered telling Robin. For some reason I didn't. Instead I took the knife to the forest like they wanted me to.

I didn't really understand that there was something wrong with Rook, I knew we were supposed to stay away from him but I didn't understand why. I thought he was just kind of weird and a little creepy.

My house was at the edge of the town, it wasn't a long walk to the forest but I went down the hill and followed the lake up to it anyways, scared one of the adults would see what I was doing and get me in trouble.

I didn't know where Rook would be but the woods weren't really all that big.

Big enough that larger animals weren't uncommon, but small enough that getting lost in them wasn't a concern. There were no paths to follow but plenty of clearings.

I spent an hour or so in those woods looking for him. Just when I was about to give up and take the knife back to Rachel I found him.

He was standing over a hole in the ground, something dark and furry in his hands.

His back was to me.

Unsure how to approach, I stayed perfectly still, afraid to snap a twig and startle him. He noticed me anyway and turned to face me.

I could now see the thing he held was a baby rabbit. I kept the pocket knife clenched in a fist.

"Are you lost?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"What are you doing out here?"

I tossed the knife to the ground and took a step back when he took one forward.

Gently, he shifted his hold on the baby rabbit so he could pick up the knife. He tucked the blade carefully in his pocket then gestured for me to come closer.

"Come here," I kept my distance at an arm's length but inched forward. He was leading me towards the pit.

"It's good you gave me this,"

I leaned forward, peering into the dirt hole.

"I needed something to get to the bones. Was gonna use a sharp rock but this is better."

Dead rabbits. A family of them. All piled on top of one another in the dirt hole.

When Red snapped in the beginning the kids were kept locked inside. Overtime he figured it would be good for us to get outside, if at least for a little while.

After Blitz died I always found an excuse to avoid these walks, preferring to just stare at a blank wall.

After the funeral I let Rachel drag me along.

On the walk we passed Blitz's tree while walking in a big circle around town. Only it was different now.

All the offerings that had been left had been dug up. Around the tree were four dead rabbits. An adult female, an adult male and a baby girl and boy.

The Robin had a bullet necklace. The Blitz was burnt around the edges. The parents were drenched red with blood.

I saw it before Rachel and nearly puked right then and there. The pocketknife was stabbing the tree where I saw Blitz's face, blade buried in the eye.

July 21st was the second day of the funeral.

It was also the day Rook showed me the dead rabbits.

It was also my birthday. But there was no one left alive who remembered that.