Ruhn had little recollection of the past week. He didn't remember screaming and sobbing until he passed out. He didn't remember Flynn and Declan carrying him up to his bedroom. He barely remembered waking and refusing to leave the house. He barely remembered a Witch being hired to erase all evidence of the murder.

    He faintly recalled hearing that Bryce had left his mother's villa the morning after arriving. Ember Quinlan had come and the two were now staying in a hotel together. He should've gone to see Bryce. He should've let her know what had happened to Sarai.

    But he couldn't bring himself to move. To care about anyone. To feel anything other than this soul-crushing pain. This ravenous guilt that gorged itself on his thoughts and still wasn't satisfied. So he did what he could to sate it.

    He tortured himself by listening to Sarai's voicemail over and over again. He could hear it in his dreams now, full of pain and terror. And when he woke up, tears streaming down his cheeks, all he could do was hold one of Sarai's shirts to his nose and torture himself some more. The tattoos on his forearms would have to be fixed eventually, but long sleeves were enough for now.

    Ruhn stared vacantly at the ceiling, not even bothering to wipe away the few tears that dripped from the corners of his eyes. He took a long drag from his joint, then let the smoke roll out of his mouth. This was his second joint of mirthroot this morning. He was beginning to think he'd need two more before he was ready for what lay ahead.

    The Devils' Sailing had commenced that morning, and he'd heard how Ithan Holstrom had rent the air with his cries. How he'd collapsed and had to be held up by his sunball team. Now it was Sarai's turn to Sail. It was her turn to be judged. To make her way to the Bone Quarter or be lost to the river.

    Ruhn wasn't sure he could do it. He couldn't stand on that hateful black dock and watch a boat carry her remains towards the Bone Quarter. He couldn't stand there, waiting to see if the boat tipped and cast her body into the deep, to be fed upon by the creatures of the Istros.

    "She should've Sailed with the Devils," Ruhn rasped to himself.

    Danika was one of her best friends. Connor had always meant a lot to Sarai. And Nathalie... Nathalie was like her sister. Her last true family in the midst of a world that had despised her.

    A small fact nipped at the back of Ruhn's mind. That family would've grown with the birth of Nathalie's baby. A baby that had perished with its parents before it had a chance to live. Before anyone even knew of its existence.

    Ruhn held the joint to his lips once more. His chest constricted and more hot tears ran down his face. His love was alone. Alone in death just as she had been alone in life. He wondered if her pack would even bother coming to the Sailing. He hoped they wouldn't. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he saw them.

    Someone knocked on the door before it opened. "We need to go," Flynn said. Ruhn didn't answer. He just let smoke blow through his nostrils. "Ruhn." He barely turned his head. "Come on. She would want you there."

    Ruhn looked back at the ceiling, hooking his finger through a chain around his neck. Sarai's ring dangled from it, cleansed of blood thanks to Declan. Flynn sighed and sat down beside him. "I can't do this," Ruhn whispered. "I can't. I can't see that boat. I can't watch her Sail alone." He choked on his words. "I can't, Tristan."

    Flynn gripped his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Do you want her to Sail forgotten? Do you want her to Sail with no one there to send her off? She loved you. She deserves your remembrance."

    "Ruhn! I'm scared. I'm so scared."

    "I should've been there."

    The words were barely audible, but Flynn still heard them. "If you were, you would've died too."

    "At least she wouldn't have been alone."

    "They still would've had her Sailing separate from yours and the Devils'."

    "But she wouldn't be alone."

    "She isn't alone, Ruhn. It's just her body in that boat, not her soul. I can guarantee that she's already with the Devils, and if she's not, she soon will be." Flynn squeezed his shoulder a second time. "Come on. Let's go."

    Ruhn sat up slowly and didn't protest when Flynn swiped the joint from him. He twisted off the bed, standing on shaking legs. He tugged the leather sleeves of his jacket down to his wrists. If Flynn saw the tender marks slicing through his tattoos, he said nothing. Flynn just draped an arm around Ruhn's shoulders and led him out of the room.

◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ☾☽ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦

    The day was bright and hot, but not at the Black Dock. Here, everything was shrouded in a cool mist. A black boat sat at the edge of the dock, waiting to be cast off. Waiting to be swallowed up by the thicker mist that hid the Bone Quarter from view, or to be tipped over in the middle of the river.

    It was all Ruhn could do to hide his shaking as he stood there. He gripped Sarai's ring tightly, willing himself to draw steady breaths. Declan and Flynn stood on either side of him, not touching him, but ready to grab him if the boat tipped and he made a run for the river.

    Because he would. He knew he would. If Sarai's boat tipped and her remains were lost to the river, Ruhn would dive in after her, and pray that the creatures of the Istros fed upon them both. Small waves lapped at the hull of the boat as it floated away from the dock at last.

    Footsteps echoed behind them, but Ruhn barely heard them. He was hardly aware of Declan and Flynn beside him. All he felt was raging pain. Horrible guilt. Sorrow so great that it was crushing his heart into dust.

    Tears burned beneath his eyelids and Ruhn blinked rapidly. He gripped the ring tighter, his breaths growing uneven. "She's mine," he breathed. The boat continued to sail away. "She's mine."

    "What?" Declan asked, keeping his voice quiet.

    "She's mine," he sobbed, already sprinting towards the edge of the dock. Declan and Flynn lunged, grabbing him by the arms. "No," Ruhn cried. "No, she's mine! She's mine! They can't have her. She's mine!" The boat was still floating towards the mist around the Bone Quarter.

    Ruhn dropped to his knees, tears running down his cheeks. "Give her back," he pleaded. "Please, please give her back." His shoulders shook with the weight of his sobs. "She's mine. Give her back! Please..." His voice fell below a whisper. "Please come back."

    Declan and Flynn kept a tight grip on his arms, but followed him down onto the dock. "Ruhn," Flynn said gently, "she's not coming back."

    Declan was gazing across the river. "The boat is gone." Ruhn's head snapped towards him. "She made it through the mist," he added.

    "You doubted she would?" A voice behind them asked.

    A muscle in Ruhn's jaw twitched. He scrambled to his feet, lips curled back in a snarl as he rounded on Rafe Fenix. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

    "Sending off my Second," Rafe answered calmly. Two more Wolves stood behind him, Holly and Salem.

    "Your Second?" Ruhn spat. "Who you treated like absolute shit? Do you think she would've wanted you here? Do you think I want you here?"

    "It's not about what you want, Prince."

    Ruhn barked a wry laugh. "You think I don't fucking know that, Asshole? If it was, Sarai would be here and you would be at the bottom of that fucking river."

    Holly stepped forward, touching Rafe's arm. "Let's go," she urged. "We've paid our respects."

    "Your respects?"

    "Ruhn," Flynn warned.

    "No, they come here talking about giving her their respect. But where the fuck was that respect when she was alive? When she spent every day slaving away for you and Sabine Fendyr, and neither of you showed her any kindness?" Ruhn pointed an accusing finger at Rafe.

    "Do you know why that was?" Rafe growled. "As long as I was lording over Sarai, Sabine didn't believe she was a threat. She left her alone. The minute I backed off, Sabine swooped in. You think I didn't try to do right by Sarai?"

    "No, I don't."

    "Of course not."

    "You were nothing but a dick to her."

    "And that saved her life a few times, believe it or not. Besides that, I kept your relationship a secret for her, and I tried to make the rest of the pack do the same. That small act cost me dearly." His gaze darted to Holly.

    "It should've cost you more," Ruhn muttered.

    "Ruhn," Declan snapped. "That's enough. Let's go." He grabbed one of his arms. Flynn took the other.

    Rafe didn't bother responding. He stalked off with Holly right behind him. Salem lingered, looking as though he wished to speak. A moment later, he did. "Sabine is already having their apartments cleared out. If there's something of Sarai's that you want, text me or Holly. Our numbers are in her phone." He left without another word.

    As soon as the Wolves were out of sight, all strength fled from Ruhn. His head fell against his chest and his arms went slack at his sides, with Declan and Flynn still holding onto them. "I'm sorry," he rasped. "I...I don't know what came over me."

    "Let's just go home," Flynn sighed.

    Ruhn let his friends lead him along, but he glanced back at the river one last time. Sarai's boat had vanished entirely and he couldn't see through the mist around the Bone Quarter. Renewed pain dug its claws into his bruised heart. Ruhn pulled his gaze away. With every step he took towards the house, some of his pain vanished and gave way to cold numbness.