I followed that light with my eyes: left, right, up, down.

''Vital signs look good, however your body is still in a state of shock Ms. Melrose, but apart from that you'll be absolutely fine'' the good doctor reassured me with a kind smile ''We'll still need to keep you here for a couple of nights observation though, then once we're happy your stable and doing fine, you'll be free to go. Do you have someone that can pick you up and look after you? Because you'll need support at home for a while as we don't want you doing any strenuous activities that could pull at your stitches'' he continued. I just shook my head no. The doctor looked very concerned, but decided not to press me any further as he could clearly see that I was in a very traumatized state still. I wondered how many cases like mine he'd seen during his profession. Not something anyone should ever have to deal with.

With my body completely worn out, I turned over and fell asleep straight away.

****

Two days later, I was back home and sleeping in my own bed again. I usually sleep sprawled out on my stomach like a star-fish, but my injuries forced me to sleep on my side, all propped up with pillows around me for support. I remember lying to the doctor on the last day, telling him that my sister had flown in from New York to come look after me, and that she was going to be coming by to pick me up shortly.

I'm an only child.

As soon as the doc was out of sight, I quickly ubered a cab to get myself home. When I got back, my studio apartment looked much bigger than I remembered it to be. I guess it would after being stuck in that little hospital room for two days straight.

Later that night in my own bed I turned over and began crying. My life was fucked! How was I going to continue as a normal person now? I know I had no reason to feel guilty in any way for the assault that happened to me, still I just couldn't help but think...what if?

'What if' I hadn't attended the Christmas party at my office that night? I remember feeling tired earlier that day, and not really wanting to go (I had done a bunch of extra shifts at work that week, covering for one of the temps who had called in sick) but everyone kept convincing me to go and have fun, and I kinda wanted to wear my new red dress, so I went anyway.

In the end, I actually did end up having a lot fun, that is until one of my drunken male work colleagues started hitting on me by the punch stand , trying desperately to get me to dance with him...eew no thanks! So as not to cause a scene at the party, or make any awkward moments for the following day at work, I decided to excuse myself from the party and go outside to get a bit of fresh air, then when I was sure no one was looking, I quickly snuck round the corner of my office building and lit up the secret emergency cigarette I had stashed in my purse.

The next thing I knew, I was being dragged away from view, and my red dress being torn apart by a vicious masked man!

After the assault, I just remember waking up in a hospital bed with wires and things attached to me...what a nightmare!

I quit my job the next day. I just couldn't bring myself to go near that building again, not after what happened. I had enough money saved to get me by for at least the next eight months, which meant there was no rush in looking for a job right away.

I remember the authorities taking a statement from me on my first night in the hospital, and me doing the best I could to tell them about the mask, his size, and the strange odor on him. And as humiliating as it was, I knew I also had to inform them that he came all over my dress too, in the hopes that they could possibly get DNA evidence or something to identify him with. Unfortunately though the authorities informed me that I was completely naked when they arrived on the scene, telling them one of two things: this was either a very cunning individual, or...it wasn't his first time. They told me that an elderly woman who lived in the old people's residence next to where I was attacked, had popped out late to empty her rubbish, and discovered my naked body lying on the floor. She immediately called 911, and now here I am.

They questioned me for a good of couple hours, trying to extract every little detail while it was still fresh in my mind, but reliving it all again was just too much to bear! I felt mentally numb, and honestly just wanted to block everything out.

They never caught him, ''lack of evidence'' was what they said. And now each day I had to live with the sinking feeling of dread that he was still out there somewhere. The thought made me instantly shudder!

My only job now was to concentrate on slowly getting my life back together, statring by booking myself in for private counseling.