N a s h

"It's just funny." Xian finished his laughter about something stupid as he fixed dinner. I sat at the table, waiting for my laptop to download the files.

I tried once and my computer died. I didn't pay attention. It's my fault but I'm still angry.

We got home around 2 AM last night. I'm still tired and Bree went to sleep pretty fast.

She's in the shower now and it's been quiet here. A bit odd. I'm used to all the recent chaos.

"Coal. Did you find anything in Rodger's?" I asked, glancing toward him. He shook his head, fixing his sweatshirt.

"Nope... Well, nothing valuable." He bit his lip, standing up and grabbing plates for Xian.

"Okay..." I feel a bit lost now. I don't know what to do. All I can do is get the info I can off of this and see where I can go, but...

Ugh, I need just a break, but I can't afford to take one now. I fiddled with the bandaids as I waited for this to be done.

Knowing how long it took last night, I won't be surprised if it takes forever here too.

I placed my face into my hands, sighing.

"Here." Xian passed me a plate of chicken parmigiana."Thanks."

Bree came out of the bathroom, rubbing her eyes with a yawn.

"Hey there, pretty lady do you want anything to eat?" Xian asked, approaching her.

I watched him from the corner of my eye, gripping my fork.

"Sure.." She yawned, sitting down in the seat next to me. She has no clue, does she?

Her hair was still damp, the long pieces spiraling down into her grey shirt. She didn't look like she had slept well at all.

Xian placed the food in front of her, before his own, sitting down next to her. Coal already had his but wasn't eating.

He wasn't exactly acting himself either. Maybe it's something in the air. He poked at the chicken as Xian took a bite.

I returned the computer, checking the percentage.

56%. This is awful...

I leaned back into the chair as Bree peeked over. "Is this Rodger's stuff?"

"Yup. And now I'm just waiting to be able to search it..." I stretched, feeling her eyes on me.

"Okay..." She took a bite, returning her gaze to the plate.

"You know, we should go out and just relax tonight once you get that done." Xian proposed, glancing toward Bree.

"Where?" I furrowed my brows and he smiled. "You remember the bar we used to go to? Not too far from here."

"She can't go though." I raised my brow and she gestured no. "My head is killing me, I'm not going anywhere tonight anyway.."

I didn't expect that. Is she worn out from last night? It's unlike her. Maybe something happened..?

"Awe, well that's okay. We'll leave you to rest instead of being loud here. So, the old trio back together?" Xian smirked, glancing between Coal and me.

"Alright.." He sighed, finally taking a bite.

I looked at Bree. I don't know if I should offer to stay with her. Her eyes appeared as if she had boulders tugging them down. She looks so exhausted.

"Do you need anything..?" I asked, reaching for my glass of water.

"No, go out." She smiled, taking another bite.

I nodded. I hate worrying so much. She'll be fine, she just needs to rest.

And I guess I should probably keep an eye on Xian so he doesn't mess something up somehow.

"We'll leave at 7." Xian said, taking another bite.

This is going to be an odd night.

-

Dinner was done rather. None of us had much to say. It was simple and I still was waiting for these files.

It's so boring... Bree laid down. I wonder if it was just the secondhand smoke. She isn't as used to it as I am.

I know I can't control her, but a piece of me still regrets not telling her to seriously not go.

I snapped back into reality, zoning into the screen,

99%. Oh, thank goodness, finally.

I grabbed my notebook, flipping to a new page. This should at least give me access to something.

100% and Rodger's files were installed. I grabbed my pen and began to surf through them.

There were folders, some Word documents, pictures, and simple things I expected. I opened one of the folders and searched through the information.

A Word document called Dates. I opened it curiously, leaning into my chair. I guess this is the moment of truth of how smart Rodger is.

The dates ranged from 2023 to 2024. Some now. One from yesterday.

7/20/24

I furrowed my brows and returned to the files, searching for the date. There was a file named list, created the morning of yesterday.

'List swatches: #B5E063 #E0DE63 #80E063 #E0CF63 #56E06A #DEDB66 #B6DE66 #52524C '

I furrowed my brows and opened my browser, copy and pasting in the names. They're shades of green.

Well, that's more proof. I guess he's getting this information to Cyrus. Though, I do have a thought.

I began to search for Cyrus's name in the files. I want to know how he is involved with this. Someone so shy, reserved, and plain.

It makes sense on Rodger's part, perfect person to use, but it also is odd why Cyrus would agree to such a thing. I would say drugs but when he tried to buy them from Coal, he seemed so much a mess and Xian did not leave him alone about it.

First, he laughed at him, then he tried to scare him so he would "snap out of wanting them". Then when we told him to hurry along, Xian harsher than I.

I'll admit though, I was behind him, not being nice either. I laughed too. I told him to run off before he cried. I was a jerk.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh.

I found a file.

Cyrus Griffin.

I opened it, seeing several documents and pictures. Oh gosh.

I sorted them by date, latest to newest, and then I began to open them. This may be where he's being stupid.

'Cyrus Griffin. 18. 9/04/05. Stole money from a fundraiser at school on 3/02/22. Stole a fellow student's painting after they gave up on the class on 1/22/21.

Family member's contacts:'

Oh. I blinked a couple of times as I processed what I was reading.

He's blackmailing him. I clicked around more, taking a deep breath. What could the images be then?

I took a deep breath and clicked on one, covering my mouth.

Cyrus was holding the printed money, cutting it into pieces. He looked exhausted, the room was dark, it looked like there was a pistol on the table, and Robert was in the corner.

So Robert is involved?

I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"Find anything?" Xian asked, walking in from out by the pool.

"Well, Cyrus is being blackmailed." I pointed to the screen, Xian rushing over to see.

"Oh, looks rough." He leaned onto his elbows, staring at the screen."Gosh, he looks so pathetic.."

I pushed Xian back, going back to checking the other things in the folder."Don't be so blunt."

"What? He can't hear me.." He laughed, sitting in the seat next to me.

"Still." I glanced toward him for a moment, watching him roll his eyes."You mocked him too."

"I wasn't as mean as you.." I argued back, reading through the rest of the blackmail document.

"You still were mean." He began to read my notebook.

"Should we see if he would crack if we brought up this blackmail?" Xian proposed, grabbing my pen.

"Do you think we can get that close for that long?" I scrolled, seeing all the family members.

Gosh, big family.

"He has a big family, write that down. Rodger highlighted Rosemary Griffin as his mother, maybe he's a mama's boy..." I instructed, Xian jotting it down.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He snickered, making me raise my brow.

"I mean- look at him. He doesn't change. This is the most rebellious thing he's ever done." He pointed back at the picture.

"Yeah, but this isn't rebellion. It's a felony." I said, pushing Xian's hand away.

I opened another photo, a picture of him at one of the parties popping up. There was a lot going as I expected, drugs on the table, he looked out of place. Anxious and of course, exhausted.

"Yeah, why else would Rodger take pictures of him doing shrooms unless to send it to his mama?" Xian commented, writing it down.

I exhaled and closed my eyes. I can't exactly empathize."I guess we can use it too.."

"Use what?" Bree asked, walking into the room. She rubbed her eyes, smearing the remaining mascara. I turned around, in tune with Xian.

"Hi there." He smirked, making me roll my eyes.

"Hey.." She groaned, walking closer to my chair."Did you drink?" I asked, making her eyes land on me.

"Oh- no I didn't." She shook her head."I think it just was a lot going on... So many different things in the air." She yawned, stretching her arms.

Xian laughed and reached toward her."You'll be okay." He patted her arm, which she smiled in return.

I looked down, gripping my mouse before forcing myself to continue to search.

"Did you find anything?" She asked, which Xian took the notebook."Cyrus is being blackmailed." He pointed, showing the things on my computer.

"Oh no- can we help him?" She asked, making my eyes go back to Xian. Her lips curled into a smile. Innocent ignorance. He returned the glance, seeming to go a bit pale.

I guess I'm going to have to reply...

"No... We are taking money from them, you know?" I explained, watching her eyes sadden again.

"But if he's being blackmailed, doesn't that mean he isn't getting a cut of the money?" She questioned but both Xian and I shook our heads.

"Not necessarily. You can blackmail someone and still give them a cut. He's done it." Xian gestured to me, making me snap my head in his direction.

"What?" I hissed but he laughed."Okay, I have too. We all have." He shrugged.

"It's just business."

Bree's big brown eyes began to shimmer with a bit of fear again, reminiscent of the night this all began.

"What will happen to him then..?" She asked, scratching her arm. I don't know how to respond.

But her sadness and naivety about the situation is bothering me. She doesn't know what this is. Not one bit...

Xian bit his cheek and sighed. He reached for her again, bringing her a little closer."Don't look so blue, he'll be fine. Rodger might throw a temper tantrum but they might quit their operation after this."

I turned away, trying to ignore his hand rubbing against her arm. He's wrong anyway. It isn't certain they'll give up.

They may start from scratch. And Rodger could get worse to Cyrus. But I won't say it...

"What are you guys going to do..?" She asked, glancing between us."Are you going to use him?"

I hesitated before I nodded, feeling judgment shift into her eyes.

"It's business... As Xian said." I cleared my throat, avoiding her eyes. I wish she wouldn't look at me like that...

This shouldn't be bothering me. Gosh..

Xian ran his hand against her back, which made my stomach twist. I'm not looking.

I'm not...

I looked toward the clock. 7 PM. I slammed the laptop shut and sighed.

"It's 7. Let's go." I stood up, Bree's eyes lingering on me. Please stop.

"Will you guys try to help him maybe..?" Her sweet voice was so soft, almost pleading.

Why must she beg me..?

Despite the stiffness in my neck to keep my eyes away, I returned her gaze. She remained looking into mine. Xian was quiet, looking at me too.

My chest tightened a bit as I tried to keep my stern expression from cracking.

I caved, nodding.

"I'll see what I can do..."

-

"Coal, he agreed to it... He agreed to protect him." Xian complained as I sat in the driver's seat.

Coal looked at me, his eyebrows rose as wrinkles formed on his forehead.

"You are going to help him? Why..?" Coal questioned, making my ears heat up.

"I... Well.." I coughed, pulling into the bar parking lot."I just feel bad.."

I saw Xian roll his eyes in my rear view mirror.

I grabbed my keys and stepped out of the car, the both of them following. Xian leaned against my car and sighed."It's been a long time."

"Did you miss our little gang?" He asked, grabbing Coal and wrapping his arm around him. Coal's eyes widened as he grabbed Xian's arm around his neck, pushing it off.

"Too tight.." He winced, rubbing his neck. Xian's eyes softened."Sorry."

Xian.

I watch him and I see a big mess. A flirt. Loud, and reckless, but still his heart can be in the right place at times.

He can be the best friend you could ask for, like how he hit that guy and may have killed him just to protect me.

But he got me into this mess. He was reckless there.

I feel so bitter toward him, but... I'm not that worried about the situation right now. It's other things.

I took a deep breath and pushed it down. That's the best thing to do right now.

I followed them into the bar and we took our familiar seats at it.

The bartender, Abel, smiled at us, seeming to recognize our faces."Ah! Xian, Coal, William Henderson.." He pointed at me and I clicked my tongue.

"You got it.."

I know he knows my ID is fake. He's heard them call me Nash endless times, but he has lost all care.

Small-town bars.

"What can I get you guys?" He asked as Xian glanced around."Brandy and cola." He replied.

"Caipirinha." A drink Coal taught Abel to make and keep in stock.

"Water." I sighed, resting my head in my hands."Are you sure?" He asked, making both Xian and Coal look my way.

"I can give you the usual but a little lighter?" He suggested and I went into thought, looking down.

I don't know. I haven't unwound but I don't know if I should.

"Just relax, Nash, it's our night out." Xian cheered as one of my band-aids fell off.

"... Okay. Give me a gold rush." I shoved the band-aid into my pocket, grabbing my wallet. Coal stopped me and placed the cash to cover all our drinks.

"Save it. You need it." He demanded, looking toward the TV. I guess he's right...

There wasn't anything interesting on, just sports. I know he's not interested. But we all seem to be waiting for Xian to speak. He was the leader of most of our conversations.

"So- what do we all think of Rodger currently?" Xian finally said, grabbing his brandy and cola.

Coal looked at me, kind of wide-eyed.

"I still think he's a mess of a person..." I sighed, clasping my hands together.

"Yeah, but this is crazy even for him. I mean he's a party guy, not the one you'd think be putting a gun to someone's head." Xian sighed, Abel's brown eyes snapping toward us.

"Figuratively." He reassured, making the frazzled blond man calm down.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Look at his supposed best friend?" I rolled my eyes, being slid my drink next.

"He's... I don't know." Coal bit his lip, lowering his head.

"Why do you act so uncomfortable when he's brought up?" Xian interrogated, making his body tense up.

"Xian, let it go. You aren't getting secrets out of Coal, he's a box with no key." I sighed, taking a sip of my drink.

"I'll always try.." He smirked, leaving Coal with a sad expression."It's a long story and I'm not discussing it tonight."

That's the most information he's ever given us on it. I laughed and took another sip, closing my eyes.

"Well. Let's see... Tomorrow, what are we doing?" Xian asked as Coal pulled out his phone.

"I mean, you have all that data on Rodger, why don't you just report it back..?" Coal whispered, finally getting his drink too.

"I'll call... Tomorrow." I volunteered, avoiding saying Mr. Clyde's name here.

Xian killed his drink right after I said that, smirking. "Well, might as well have fun tonight before all that gets crazier. Give me another."

-

I ended up having 3 drinks and now I'm sipping water and eating chips.

But Coal had a few more and Xian, of course, the most.

They were laughing while I remained quiet in my thoughts. I can't help but find myself back to thinking of Bree.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It's been a struggle.

"Haha- Nash!" Xian called to me, making my head turn.

"Hey. Come here.." He patted the seat next to him. I furrowed my brows."The only thing between us is Coal." I questioned, meeting his eyes.

"Well, I wanted you closer but fine.." He rolled his eyes, snickering after.

I hope Bree is okay..

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, before raising his brows."Oh, are you worried about the situation?" He gasped but I shook my head.

"No, it's not that. I'm just... Thinking." At least it wasn't a lie. Not exactly.

"Hmm... Is it Cyrus?" He asked again, but I shook my head. Xian went into thought as I did before laughing.

"I can't believe Bree asked that." He began, turning to me."She is so sweet..."

I almost shattered the chip in my hand.

"Yup..." I cleared my throat, eating it.

"Are you really not interested in her?" He asked, making my stomach sink.

I don't know how to answer. Especially not when faced with the question, but my mind is racing and my heart is pounding and I don't know what to do.-

"Yes."

Coal stared at me, before chugging the rest of his drink.

"Oh- well good, 'cause I think she's attractive." Xian began, laughing as he leaned back a bit. "Will she respond well to me?"

I furrowed my brows, glancing over. "What?"

"Like, do you have any idea if she would? Anything she'd like?" He asked, making my jaw tighten."I don't know."

"That makes sense, to be honest, I wouldn't expect you guys to talk about that." He smiled, keeping his eyes on me. He isn't making a lot of sense anyway.

"She really is cute though." He brushed his hair back, making my nose curl. Coal glanced at me again before tapping his glass. "Another." He gulped.

"I really like how wild she is," Xian smirked, making Coal's expression grow more anxious.

"Please..."

I covered my mouth with my hand, taking in a deep breath.

"She seems like she'd be so fun." He continued, making my breath hitch. He doesn't know what he's talking about, he doesn't one bit.

"Maybe I'll try later-"

I stood up, cutting him off as the bar stool squeaked. Coal winced and Xian furrowed his brows, but I ignored them both.

I headed straight for the doors. I have to get out of here, I can't do it.

The cool summer air washed over me, knocking a bit of reality into me; I realized how I was still intoxicated...

I sighed, shaking my head. I just need to shake this off. I need to get home soon.

I need to get out of here.-

"Hey- why did you leave??" Xian followed me, both his hands out at his sides. I turned my back to him, taking a deep breath.

"Oh- dude, what is wrong with you?" He hissed as Coal followed us out. I continued to keep my back to him, turning my head to block them out.

Leave it alone, just- leave it alone... I'm fine.

"Why would you tell me I'm not interested and then get mad at me??" He raised his voice, getting closer to me.

"Are you interested in her actually?" I asked, watching his brows tug down.

"What? Like commitment..?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck."I don't know."

I closed my eyes and tried to relax my jaw, but every word from him was like nails on a chalkboard. She doesn't deserve that...

"Why are you being so confusing.." Xian sighed, before he gasped.

"Is that what you're doing to her? Ha!" Xian let out a sardonic laugh, making my fist tighten.

"You must have her so confused. You are so wishy-washy, it is cruel." He barked, making me finally turn around to face him.

I scowled at him, which made him laugh.

"You're mad at me- but, you are the one being so weird." Xian shook his head as a crueler smile appeared.

"You don't even know what you're doing..."He hissed, making my anger grow hotter.

I glanced at Coal, who kept his distance still.

"Stop confusing her. And me. And frankly yourself. Just give it up." Xian crossed his arms, stepping closer.

I took a deep breath and tried to let go of my anger. This is so stupid.

But the way he's speaking- I have to let it go. Just calm... I'm calm.

But it's disrespectful.

"At least I know what I'm doing.." He laughed, making my eyes shoot open, his face much closer to me.

"You aren't even good for her."

"You think you are?" I finally spoke back, watching him sneer."Just let me go have fun with her." He kept getting closer, only lighting the fuse to my anger.

I gritted my teeth and he shook his head.

"She'd have more fun with me anyway, you're not like me, you don't know- Agh!"

My vision went red and I swung with all my might, punching Xian.

Coal gasped and stepped back as Xian held his nose, groaning.

My fist began to burn as I realized what I had done, and the color faded. All I could see was red blood, not red anger.

"You... Punched me?" Xian sobered up, his eyes mixed with shame and embarrassment as he held his nose.

Coal rushed over to us and grabbed Xian, forcing his hands away from his nose. I stood still, just watching as the blood gushed down on his green shirt, leaving it a nasty color.

"We need to get the blood to stop- Nash... Can you still drive home..?" He asked, tears from the pain beginning to seep down Xian's cheeks.

I nodded, uncertain in my decision as I glanced down at my fist. I busted my knuckles open. They were bleeding too.

Or is it his blood? But I didn't punch twice. Only once.

I started to my car, opening the door. Coal pushed Xian into the backseat, holding his nose too.

I put the key in the ignition, my mind beginning to go clear.

I don't know what to think.

I don't know if I am thinking.

-

I rushed Xian home, I knew I shouldn't be drunk driving, but I couldn't do anything else. I remained outside. Coal took him in and I stood at my car, smoking a cigarette.

I'm not really mad anymore. But his words are lingering in my mind, biting at every thought. What does he mean I don't know what I'm doing..? I know what I am doing.

I kinda hope Bree isn't up. I don't want her to see Xian... Well, honestly, I hope I see her. I just don't want her to know what I did.

I don't want to see her eyes look up at me with all that worry. All those thoughts I can see reflecting in them.

I don't want it...

I inhaled the smoke and held it, staring at the front door. In the gravel and on the porch there were drops of blood in a trail.

She's going to know no matter what...

And, as soon as I went to look away, the door opened. And her short figure stood in the doorway with concern in her eyes.

She was in the same grey shirt, staring with a bit of shock.

I looked away. I can't bear to meet her eyes. I crossed my right arm with the busted knuckles across my stomach, trying to hide them.

"Nash..?" Bree's voice rang as she stepped into the gravel with her bare feet. She started approaching me and I leaned up.

"Hey, don't- be careful there's sharp things out here," I warned but before I could get to her, she already rushed in front of me.

I frowned and she looked up at me."Bree.."

"What happened?" She asked, getting rather close to me. My heart began to beat a bit more.

I looked down into her eyes, the worry I longed to avoid seeing swirled in them."Bree..." I repeated, my head feeling just a bit dizzy.

"I didn't mean to.." I muttered, watching her brows furrow."What..? Did you punch him?"

Oh, she didn't know. Shoot...

"Yes.." I whispered, throwing down the cigarette away from her. "That right there is why you shouldn't walk barefoot.." I chuckled, watching her eyes soften. I took a deep breath and looked down.

"But, I punched him yes.." I nodded, feeling her soft hands touch my wrist. She pulled it from my side and inspected the wounds.

"Oh... What happened?" She pulled my hand close, my heart began to pound more.

"I can't.. I can't tell you." I gulped, tracing my finger along her wrist. She watched me as she laughed.

"Must not be that bad then, let's go apologize." She teased, going to pull me.

"Wait no-!" I tugged her arm back, pulling her close to me. She stepped onto my foot, but I barely felt her weight."It was about you.."

Bree's smile dropped as she looked up."Me?"

I nodded, keeping my hold on her arm. Her hair shifted down her shoulder as her pink lips parted. She just looked at me, examining my face.

"Yes.." I whispered, mesmerized by her alone. She placed her hand on my bicep, keeping her balance on my foot.

Her complexion was so clear, almost shining in the night light. Even with no makeup on now, I couldn't help but just be hypnotized.

Heat rose to my face as I felt inclined to get closer.

My lips parted as my voice went void for a moment, but nevertheless, I pushed out.

"You are so pretty..."

Bree's cheeks flushed pink, the porch light dimming a bit. I gulped, staring at her lips.

Her skin in my hands was so soft. It was addictive to be near. Is it wrong I've wanted to feel it since that night I caught her..?

I just want her close.

I cupped her cheek with my free hand and pulled her in, kissing her. I could feel the sudden surprise from her as she stumbled for a moment but kept a stern hold on my arm.

I let go of her arm and moved to the small of her back, lifting her up. She stood on her toes, keeping her balance on one foot on top of mine. She pulled back for a moment and looked at me with wide eyes.

"What happened..?" She questioned, tightening her grip on the sleeve of my shirt. I admired her red face for a moment before gulping.

"I'm sorry, do you.. Uh, I can stop..?"

Bree shook her head and pulled me back in, allowing me to pick her up. I ran my hand through her hair and turned around, setting her on my car hood.

Her lips were as softer than I could've imagined. Even with the brisk soft kiss she gave me at Mr. Clyde's, I felt it, but I don't think I could've expected this.

She isn't rough, or anything. She's just sweet. Gentle. And it's making my heart race. My palms are a bit sweaty and I do feel like I could melt, but I couldn't care less.

She traced her nails down my neck. Chills ran up my back as she did, making me shiver and gasp a little into the kiss. I pulled her as close as I could, leaning her back a bit.

She finally broke the kiss, sprawling her fingers across my neck as I caught my breath."You're drunk..." She whispered, her breath brushing against my lips.

"No..." I replied, resting my forehead against hers.

"I taste the alcohol though?" She questioned, making my cheeks turn redder. I twirled her hair around my finger as my heart dropped.

"Gold rush, only 3- Sorry.. I drank and ate..." I whispered, leaning back in as she placed her hand against my chest.

"But, I'm not drunk..." I whispered, but she shook her head, grabbing my face by my chin.

"We should fix your hand up, Nash.." She grabbed it, leaning back enough to inspect it.

I just want to kiss her. I'm desperate. But I'll stop if she says to. Anything she wants right now.

I looked into her eyes, removing my hand from her hair and back to her cheek. I ran my thumb along the bottom of her lip, exhaling. She closed her eyes and placed her other hand on top of mine.

"You're giving me whiplash.." She laughed, making my eyes widen."Oh- no, I'm sorry. He's right isn't he..?" I sighed, all the doubtful thoughts he caused beginning to circle in my mind.

"Xian..?" She questioned and I nodded, pulling her closer.

"Let's just get you patched up." She smiled, brushing her fingers along my jawline. I bit my lip and gulped, her touch alone was making me feel like fire.

I nodded and carefully picked her up."Let me carry you..." I offered, her hands resting on my shoulders.

"If it'll get you inside.." She smiled, but when I went to walk, I stumbled. Bree's grip tightened on me."Okay... Don't kill me." She met my eyes, her cheeks still blood red. Mesmerized, I nodded.

I held her tighter, my thumb pressing into her thigh as I started walking up onto the porch.

I sat her down and brushed her hair back, only for my knuckles to burn for some reason. I winced and pulled it back, shaking my hand.

"Careful, come on, they should have Xian in his room now."

I followed her like an clingy dog, feeling the tiredness grow on me.

Maybe I need to go to bed.

-

-

-