Burrito: u guys aren't gonna Beleive what happened today

Months: you spelled believe wrong

Burrito: shut up I have a story

Hatrick: can you hurry up and tell it

Burrito: I deleted the entire paragraph just so I could tell u this next sentence

Burrito: give me a minute you impatient stale ham sandwich

Tidepod: HAHAH Holy shit

Burrito: I was walking back to my dorm after my class and I got hit by a bike

Burrito: it wasn't the schools bike or anything so I can't have my tuition paid for

Burrito: but I got hit by a bike today and instead of maybe calling an ambulance to HELP ME they sped off like they didn't run me over like a speed bump

Peeter: I was with you

Peeter: you literally stepped in front of her because you were on your phone

Burrito: don't invalidate my traumatic experience

Hatrick: sounds like it was your fault

Tylenol: why would you need an ambulance

Months: did you break any bones

Burrito: no

Months: concussion

Burrito: no

Months: ?????????

Burrito: emotional damage and some bruises and my finger ouchy

Months: I'm going to fly over there and mow you down on my own bicycle you twat

Burrito: ugh please I miss you

Months: we spoke for less than five seconds

Burrito: yeah but u were cute

Months: don't try to crack on with me in a group chat people can read

Peeter: I can't

Hatrick: can't what

Peeter: can't read

Peeter: I have a gold seal on my high school diploma for complete illiteracy

Burrito: ur ruining our moment

Months: there is no moment

Tidepod: I can feel the chemistry

Months: there's no chemistry

Tidepod: he's smiling at his phone

Tidepod: wAIT HES IN A SEPARATE CHAT

Months: hey

Tylenol: Brendon what the fuck we're all in this relationship together

Hatrick: that's so insensitive of you. Show some respect

Burrito: I'm not doing anything

Peeter: I'm on my way out of class give me ten minutes I'm across campus but I can run really fast sometimes

Burrito: I said I'm not doing anything

Months: we're mortal enemies

Tidepod: he has heARTS Next to his name

Months: Josh you wanker stop peeking at my phone I will punt you out of this trolley

Peeter: are you okay

Hatrick: subway > street car

Months: what the hell is a street car

Hatrick: equivalent to a trolley

Months: dumb Just call it a trolley

Peeter: too English for us Americans

Tidepod: wow that's a lot of heart emojis in that text you just got Dallon

Months: you fucking tosser I'm about five seconds from boxing your ears off you absolute fuckin muppet

Peeter: HAHA HOLY SHIT

Peeter: Josh broke him