DANIEL SANTIAGO IS rarely home.

He works as a chef in his own restaurant called Crystal Clear. He's been working in restaurants almost all his life once he graduated from college, studying culinary arts, obviously. And as years passed by, he met a cynical but adventurous woman named Delia.

In her flight attendant uniform, she dragged herself into the place he worked at that time, which was located somewhere in the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. And you know how the typical story went: they caught each other's attention and started talking, blah blah blah. He got her number, and they talked to each other almost every night since they couldn't see each other often due to their jobs. It was kinda hard as well since Delia constantly traveled to places, and timezones are a major pain in the ass.

But eventually, they made it through.

He was there when she talked about her first and only husband leaving her. Even then, he stayed. She talked about raising her one and only daughter after the divorce. Even then, he stayed. She talked about drowning her problems in alcohol and treating her child like shit for years before quitting. Even then, he stayed. She made him meet her impatient, rude, and hot-tempered daughter who goes by the name Louise.

Even then, he stayed.

And before Louise could even see it coming, he became her step-father.

She didn't like it one bit, but what could she do? She was only seven years old at that time. However, she had little hope that he could be the one to change her family. Her family that was built out of broken promises, harsh critiques, and detached feelings. Before Daniel came to her life, she lived with an almost absent father figure, and a mother who barely cared, and also would rather spend her spare time with her friends than her own daughter.

Til this day, Louise can't say that Daniel never tries. She sees his efforts. She notices his concerned facial expressions when he comes back home, and sees her awake late at night, surrounded with notes and books everywhere. She appreciates his little messages on the fridge when she wakes up, saying 'I cooked breakfast for you. Please eat before going to school. Love you, Lou.'

But it isn't enough.

She can't even remember a specific person who makes her feel all warm inside. Someone who gives her care. Someone who makes her feel important and good enough. Someone who makes her feel loved.

Her first father's definitely out of the list, because she can't clearly remember his face and his pictures are nowhere to be seen in the house. Her mother? The only thing she makes Louise feel is neglect. Daniel? After her accident, she feels nothing but discomfort towards him.

It's unfortunate that she only has memories of her mom, Daniel, and a few of her friends—more like only one or two.

Ah, Alison. Lovely little Alison Sanchez.

Alison's probably the only person who's close to making Louise feel loved. Sure, she loves how Alison's still by her side until now, but sometimes she thinks she's only there, because she feels pity for her. It's bad to think like this, but Louise can't help it. She can't even completely trust her. There's something Alison's hiding from her, and it's her past.

Normally, she wouldn't bother trying to figure out what happened. But it's different now.

Because this time, it involves Uriah Walter.

So screw with fresh starts, because now, she's going to find out what happened three years ago.

          ❄           ❄           ❄

After a long time, having dinner with Daniel isn't exactly a 'joyful' reunion.

"So . . ." he trails off, his voice wavering and deep. "You stopped by the restaurant last night?"

Louise glances at him quickly before going back to her carbonara. She expected him to start a conversation, but to talk about her presence at his restaurant yesterday? She was sure that he didn't see her there. Unless . . . someone informed him. "Yeah."

"You should've told me," he says a little more enthusiastically than a few seconds ago. Then, he purses his lips. "You wouldn't have to pay for the food."

"Oh, no." She shakes her head with her mouth full. She swallows a little bit down before telling him, "Jerome was the one who got food. I was only there to study." And to feel less lonely.

Albeit she's used to it, she hates being home alone.

The corners of Daniel's lips drop, and she notices this. But he quickly gives her a small, tight smile, and nods once. "I see. Well, you still should've told me. Your friends are an exception, too."

She feels guilty for not telling him the truth; that she actually missed him and wanted to spend at least a few minutes with him while he was on his break, but she left before he could even see her.

She hums a reply, and stays quiet.

But a question remains at the back of her mind. She's been wanting to ask him ever since Uriah came to their house last time, but never found the courage or time to.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He loves Christmas," Uriah had said.

After a few more seconds of contemplating whether to ask him or not, she finally decides to put her pride down and go for it. It's now or never. She clears her throat softly, nervously looks up at Daniel, and asks in a small voice, "Are we going to celebrate Christmas this year?"

He freezes, staring back at her in shock. His eyes have widened a little, and he searches her face to figure out whether she's being serious or not. "I . . ."

"I mean," she adds, cheeks burning instantly but ignores it, "You love Christmas, right? And . . . we haven't celebrated it for a long time so I was just thinking if . . . you know?"

Daniel breaks into a grin, the sides of his eyes crinkle. It's a rare sight for Louise, but she already likes how genuine his happiness is. "I don't see why not."

"Really?"

"Yeah, of course!" he responds excitedly, still grinning ear to ear. "I have no problem with that."

"Great. I guess we'll have to get the decorations soon then. It's already the eighteenth."

He shrugs with a shoulder. "Sounds like a plan."

Louise glances down at the table, and smiles to herself.

"But if you don't mind me asking . . . why all of a sudden?"

She completely understands why he's asking. They haven't celebrated it last year. Or the year before. Therefore, the sudden request just had to make him curious. A few things pop into mind, but all she can concentrate on is 'move on'.

"Just thought that we can't keep waiting for her to come back on this time of the year," she answers, knowing he'd understand who she's talking about. "So it's about time we move on and celebrate together."

When she looks up, she doesn't expect him to be already looking at her with a gentle smile and proud expression etched on his face. His eyes have turned soft, and so has his voice when he agrees, "It's about time."

          ❄           ❄           ❄

When Louise wakes up the next morning, she doesn't expect to see a huge and fresh Christmas tree in the corner of her living room.

She turns her head to the left, and then instantly figures out why. The beaming faces of her two best friends explains everything. She crosses her arms, and stares at them with a poker face. "What did you guys do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Jerome responds chirpily, grinning.

"Yeah, but . . . why?"

Alison shrugs. "It's Christmas."

Louise has the urge to roll her eyes and say "Yeah, I know." but resists it, and shakes her head instead. "You shouldn't have. I could've just—"

"Your dad loves it," Jerome interrupts, waving her off. "So just accept the surprise and help us decorate it when you come back from work, will you?"

She makes a face at them. "Its your tree and you want me—?"

"Louise," Alison warns, raising her eyebrows. "Just appreciate it, will you?"

She stops and stares. After a while, she pouts and walks towards them. "I do appreciate it. It's just that you didn't have to go through all this—"

"Oh come here, you," Jerome coos, throwing his arms around her and bringing Alison in as well. Louise groans while Alison lets out a content giggle, pulling everyone closer. And together, they share a tight and warm hug.

"Jerome."

"Yes, my dear Lou Lou?"

"Your armpit's in my face, and it stinks. Badly."

He pulls away instantly, a horrified look etched on his face. "Well, what do you expect? I had to help bring in that damn tree, and mind you, Ali didn't even help me—"

"Hey! I did help—"

"Before you two start a fight, someone tell me what time it is," Louise says.

Alison glares at Jerome. "Time for the filthy animal to take a shower."

Jerome checks the time on his watch, and then glares back at Alison. "Nine thirty-four."

"Shit, I'm late for work."

          ❄           ❄           ❄

Louise doesn't understand how Connor looks like a lit up Christmas tree every morning.

She also doesn't understand how Melanie looks so effortlessly beautiful even when she's sleeping with drool starting to roll down her chin.

Within seconds, Uriah walks into the office.

And there it is; the biggest 'I don't understand'. It's everything she feels around him she doesn't understand. It's everything about him she doesn't understand.

She thinks he's here to talk to her, because this isn't the first time this happened. Whenever he'd come into the interns area, he'd pass by her desk after doing whatever he needed to say or do to the other interns, and then appreciate her presence by at least giving her a small smile or nod.

But he doesn't walk her way. He goes straight towards Connor, not paying any attention to her. She shrugs it off. It makes sense anyway since it would seem a little suspicious if he keeps going straight to her whenever he comes into the office. And that's what she doesn't want; attention. But with friends like Connor and Melanie, she knows it's going to be hard.

When Uriah straightens his back after ending his short conversation with Connor, he takes a sharp turn and walks out of the office without even a glance at her. Unknowingly, the corners of her lips drop into a small frown. Confused, she tips her head down and stares at the desk. Is he not in a good mood?

She shakes her head. Why does she care? It's nothing. He probably has a lot in his mind, and forgot to give her his usual greeting.

"Hey, Connor. What did he want this time?" Louise calls out, sounding very disinterested and slightly playful to appear casual.

He raises an eyebrow at her strange question, but answers anyway, "His assistant isn't free to buy him lunch today so he personally asked me to do it instead, which is weird, because isn't it usually you?"

Louise doesn't know what to feel. Something's definitely wrong. All she knows is that she doesn't feel good. She merely shrugs, looking away. "I don't know."

"Why do you sound like that?"

"Like what?" she breathes out in annoyance, rolling her eyes.

She doesn't have the need to continue this conversation with Connor anymore. She got the information she wanted, and it does nothing but mess up with her mood today by confusing her again and again. Damn you, Uriah.

Slowly, he smiles cockily and wriggles his eyebrows. "You feel sad, don't you?"

After hearing his words, she snaps her neck towards him. "What, why—?"

"It's okay, Lou. I'll pretend I'm busy and tell you to do it instead, like you usually do. I know it's always been one of your excuses to see our smoking hot boss again—"

"Shut the fuck up before I—"

"Now that I think of it, you two actually do have some sexual tension there—"

Cheeks flaming, she hastily reaches for a stapler on the side of her desk and holds it up in front of him. "I swear, I will staple your fucking arm if you say one more word."

He doesn't say a word.

She exhales in relief. "Good."

He starts making kissing faces and sounds.

She gets up from her desk, and so does he. She runs after him with a stapler in hand while he only tries to protect himself, just running away and out of the office.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Melanie chuckles to herself as she hears Connor screams in agony and Louise yells out a string of curses. She hears two faint clicks coming from the staple, and she shakes her head to herself in amusement. Connor is so dead.

          ❄           ❄           ❄

Throughout the end of the day, Louise doesn't bother with seeing Uriah.

She doesn't try to buy him lunch, go up to him, and ask what's wrong. He didn't call her. She didn't text him. If there's seriously something wrong, she'll wait for him to open up to her at the right time. But then why does she feel like he's trying to avoid her?

Suddenly, the doors of the elevator opens up for her, and she lazily brings her gaze upwards from the carpeted floor. Immediately, her back turns rigid as soon as she recognizes the one and only person inside. Just her luck.

Resisting the urge to groan, she quickly composes herself and walks in without casting another glance his way. The doors close, and it becomes quiet.

It's that awkward elevator moment again. Except it's not her avoiding him this time. It's him.

She finally gives in, and glances at his reflection in the mirror in front of her. He's staring at the LED display above with a frown, probably wondering when will the journey end. Before he can notice, she quickly looks away. The heat in this 'box'—elevator—is finally getting to her despite being a person who gets cold easily, and rarely feels hot at this time of the year.

Okay, so maybe it isn't easy as she thought it would be.

Louise Julia Santiago is a woman with so much pride and ego. So it's pretty much a big deal when she puts it down and make the first move, which would be right now.

Taking a deep breath, she spins to stare at him. And stare, she does. It's not because she finds him super attractive at the moment—which is basically all the time, no doubt, even now—but he looks . . . pale. His eyes don't look alive, and his lips have turned blue. His hair is even a bigger mess, and she feels like running her fingers through it just to help fix it.

She shakes her thoughts away.

"Why the frown?" she asks lightheartedly, knowing that this was the first and exact question he asked when she was avoiding him, and ended up in the same elevator last time. Hopefully, it'd work to make him smile a bit.

It does, but she still can't find any sincere happiness in his eyes.

With a small smile, he finally makes eye contact with her and says, "I'm surprised, Santiago."

"Why?"

He stares at her for a while longer with 'that' look. That look she can now recognize from anywhere, because he does it a lot when they're together. The kind of look where it seems like he's staring into her soul, and she can't help but feel vulnerable. "Nothing."

She tries not to roll her eyes at his lie. "Okay." And now is the time she goes straight to the point. "Are you avoiding me?"

To her surprise, he chuckles as if he expected this. "Oh, Lou. You won't ever change, will you?"

"What do you—?"

Ding! The elevator doors open.

With a mischievous smile, he tells her, "But it's okay. I've always liked you this way." Her eyes widen and throat runs dry. She can't even form a coherent sentence in her head. As he walks past her and out of the box, he winks at her. "See you tomorrow, Ms. Santiago."

Even when she's left alone, she's still dumbstruck.

And when the doors close, still keeping her in, she finally lets out a frustrated groan and holds her face in her hands.

What is he doing to me?

          ❄           ❄           ❄

Now.

It has to be done now.

After what went down in the elevator and with Uriah's cryptic sentences for her, Louise knows exactly what to do. And this is where she is now, in the attic, searching every corner for anything significant that has to do with her past. Anything that links with Uriah specifically.

The dust is getting to her nose, but she doesn't stop. She knows that this is the only way she can get her answers. Alison wouldn't give her any, because she knows that she's been hiding about something from her since a long time ago. And even if she did, it wouldn't be the complete truth.

Either way, Louise got this.

          ❄           ❄           ❄

"Lou!" Daniel shouts.

Wiping the sweat away from her forehead with the back of her hand, she yells back, "Yeah, dad?"

"Dinner's ready!"

She sighs heavily. "Okay, coming." She looks around the dark room that's filled with open carbon boxes, crumpled papers from her high school lying on the floorboard, and more rubbish. But nothing significant.

"Where are you?" she talks to herself desperately, her blood boiling. "Why can't I find anything?" She feels absolutely lost. Hopeless. Empty.

To let out her anger, she grabs the closest thing to her which is a math textbook and throws it against the wall. Her chest heaves up and down as she takes deep breathes in order to calm herself down. The abrupt sounds of her textbook doesn't cause any attention to her dad, because the house has suddenly gotten quiet.

And she hates it. She hates the silence, because it doesn't tell her anything. Because she's still clueless as hell.

Sensing the tears that are forming in her eyes, she forces herself to stand up and take deep breathes again. It's not the right time to break down. Not now, when her dad is literally downstairs waiting for her to eat dinner together. It's not often that he's home to have dinner so she has to appreciate it and not let this moment pass.

She walks across the room, and bends down to grab the textbook she threw. And just as she's about to stand up, she sees something fall from the book at the corner of her eye. With narrowed eyes, she leans closer to it and swiftly picks it up.

As soon as she sees it clearly under the light, her breath hitches and her heart start to beat faster. It's a picture of two people looking at each other while in each other's arms. It's of a guy looking at the girl that Louise can recognize from anywhere, because it's the same one that Uriah gave her just three hours ago. It's of a girl looking up at the guy with a big smile on her face, looking as happy as ever. A look she can't even recognize on herself now, because it looks that foreign.

It's of him and her. Them.

This time, she can't stop the tear that rolls down her cheek.

- - - - - - - - - -

i hate the fact that i haven't finished this story before Christmas really i do but i srsly didn't expect senior life to be like this. full of public exam pressure and everything i hate it. my holidays aren't rly holidays anymore bc i have school tutorials on some days like ?? gimme a break

and i know Christmas is already gone/or almost gone but i couldn't nOT update this story on this special occasion esp when it's basically themed around it so?? ok i don't know what i just said there but it's pretty late here and i need some sleep

i wish u all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! :)