~*****~

"Just take the damn potion, you idiot." I complain as Natsu dry heaves. Normally, I'd put up with the constant heaving, but he's pressing his face into my lap, still dry heaving.

"This is torture--" Natsu complains. "Come on, make it stop!"

"Hold those guts in for two more hours and then that's it, we're done!" Lucy giggled as I shoved him off of my lap.

"Can he be any more pathetic?" Carla asked with a sigh.

Ballad laughed. "You should see him on trips to the mountains! He gets way worse, cause that's a six hour train ride!"

Natsu complains again, his hands scrabbling against my legs to try and heave himself back into my lap. "It's too long--"

"Maybe you should put another Troia spell on the poor guy," Happy suggested. "With all this sweating, crying, and throwing up, I'm afraid that he's gonna melt away."

"Yeah, you're right," Wendy smiled. She approaches him calmly and presses her hands on his back. "Troia." A faint glow shimmered from her palms and his grabby hands halted for a moment before he began heaving again-- this time he threw up.

"Poor Natsu!" Happy cried. "Eeewww!"

I palmed at my face irritably. "I'm dying..." He whined. "You gotta save me. Please."

"I don't know why it didn't work," Wendy stammered. "I'll try to do it again. Troia!" She says louder.

"I feel so funky--" Natus complains.

"I'll help!" Ballad called. I smile in amusement as both of them start chanting Troia.

I catch Ballad as she slumps from using so much magic energy to help him. "Why won't it fix me?" Natsu complained.

"I don't know!" Wendy cried.

"That's really weird; it normally perks him right up." Lucy hums.

"Not this time," Happy shrugged.

"I'm fairly certain that I know why it failed." Carla mentioned. "This spell has been used on him over and over again on several long journeys. So much so that it's ceased to work at all!"

I shrug. "That's why my potions are getting harder and harder to make. People like us start growing resistance to certain spells and potions if we take them long enough." I pat at Natsu's head. "We're immune to the Troia spell since we've used it so many times."

"That can actually happen?!" Lucy cried.

Carla shrugs. "How did you think I built up my resistance to some spells?" I ask.

"You'll have to grin and beat it." Happy sighed. "Sorry pal, but we'll be there in a couple of hours."

"I'm sorry," Wendy hummed delicately.

"Two more hours?" Natsu complained. "I'm gonna run out of puke!" He then proceeds to throw up, yet again.

"Oh, for goodness sakes. Get over here and I'll distract you. Just stop puking, it's making me sick." I hiss at him.

Natsu groans and drags himself towards me before crawling into my lap, his face buried into my belly. He starts snoring when I scratch at the base of his skull.

~*****~

"You think he's okay out there?" Ballad asks curiously, her gaze peering at the door.

I hum in response. "Should be. If he falls, he should bounce back on his feet and chase the train, so it's not like he'd abandon the job on purpose." Wendy began sniffling again. "Hey, it's not your fault that we're immune to the spell, that's just the way things go sometimes," I say in a comforting manner. "Ballad's not worrying about it, and she's the main reason we're probably immune."

Ballad raises her paw. "I like using Troia! Mostly cause I can't stand the smell of puke!"

"Don't bother trying to cheer her up," Carla mentioned. "She'll be sulking for a while no matter what you say. Besides, Natsu knew exactly what he was in for. He gets sick, so he should have never taken this job."

"Actually, I was just gonna invite you guys and Lucy on this job, but Natsu overheard and wanted to butt in, despite our attempts to tell him it was a job on a train." I explain.

Lucy just smiled. "He can't stand the thought of being away from you. Goodness, you guys are so cute."

I snort at her, puffing a blast of cold air at her. "It's not Natsu I'm upset about," Wendy sniffled. "If I can't use my magic when it's needed the most, I'm a complete failure of a wizard."

"You're an awesome wizard!" Lucy chimed. "Don't be silly!"

"Now get your butt up, just in case Natsu ambles through the door and vomits again." I mention lightly. Wendy sniffled and took a seat on one of the crates, her head hung low. I huff irritably and plop down next to her, my hand resting on her head. "Don't worry too much about it. Everyone starts experiencing problems with their magic." I explain lightly. "I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time at all."

"Really?" Wendy asked, her innocent gaze pinning me in the spot. I swallow roughly and grin as neutrally as possible.

"Yep!" I chirp enthusiastically.

There's a knock at the door, causing us all to turn our gazes over. "Natsu? Ya had enough fresh air?" Lucy chimes.

"Maybe he's feeling better now." Happy hummed.

"He's not the brightest, so perhaps it took a while for the spell to effect him." Carla stated.

Wendy slips off the crate and approaches the door before pulling it open. "You okay? Come on in." Wendy chirps, before gasping in shock.

"Hi there!" An unfamiliar voice rings out.

"So nice to meet you!" Two other voices ring out.

I peer over in confusion. "Please, excuse us for a minute." The first man with a pointed hairdo hums, carting in poor Natsu like a fallen princess. His two friends follow in behind him.

"Hold it right there!" I snap. "This freight car is for authorized personnel only."

"Oh, I see. But we found this poor young man passed out in front of the door way." The first man mentions.

"Oh no!" Wendy cried.

"He passed out?!" Lucy gasped.

"His condition is far more serious than we thought," Carla hummed.

"Man, this stinks," Lucy grimaces.

"You're telling me." I huff.

"Poor Natsu," Wendy whimpers.

"Come on, buddy! Talk to us!" Happy chirped.

There's only a split second of reaction that I can manage. I grasp Lucy's arm and pull her behind me as the men swarm, taking Wendy hostage and opening the doors to the train cart. "Make one move and the little girl gets it." The first man threatened.

"That was an awesome threat, boss!" His underling cheers.

"Like a true scoundrel!" The bigger one chants.

"What's going on here?" Lucy stammered.

"They're totally trying to get their grubby hands on the cargo, that's what!" I exclaim.

"Of course we are!" The leader grins. "And we ain't afraid of no wizards! Cause we're as rotten as they come!" Every single one of them stick their butts out, a small toot escaping each one as they do. "They call us, the Butt Jiggle Gang!"

There's an awkward silence as I stare, horrified. "Seriously?" I ask. "That's... so disgusting..."

"Natsu's really not lookin' so good," Happy murmurs.

"Shut your pie-holes!" The leader barks. "Now, boys! Let's power up!" They begin shaking their butts, chanting booty as if it would seriously power them up.

"What the heck are you doing?" Lucy asked irritably. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"I'm afraid of the punch line," Carla grimaces.

"I think I'm gonna be sick, too." Ballad whimpers.

"Listen up, the contents of this car are now the property of the Butt Jiggle Gang! And you kids need to blast on outta here!" The leader barks.

"Are you freaking kidding me? We won't leave cause you're shaking your butts at us!" Lucy chimes irritably.

"You're gonna be eating your words, girlie," The leader snorts.

"I'm scared, guys!" Wendy cried.

"It'll be okay, Wendy," I try to comfort her.

"These goons wouldn't dare hurt you!" Carla exclaims.

"Yeah, I bet they're just a bunch of old windbags!" Happy shouted.

"I'm warning ya! You'd better blow, or we're gonna!" The leader warns. "Well?" They all chime. They press their butts together. "Full of beans now, you ready? Fire the colon cannon!"

"Gas butt!"

"Triple!"

"Ecstasy!"

My nostrils are assaulted by the worst smell ever. I waver and slam onto my back, watching the room spin as I cup my hands over my face. I vaguely hear Lucy and the cats screaming about the smell, but my stomach is trying to escape from my body and it could be succeding.

I come to what feels like hours later to Wendy shaking me hurriedly. "Oh, please don't tell me you're suffering from motion sickness now, too!" Wendy cried.

I shake her off and shed my overcoat as quickly as possible. "No--" I stammer, my stomach clenching. "The smell-- I think I need to cut off my nose--" I grip at it tightly, squeezing my eyes shut in response.

Ballad tugged on Wendy's sleeve. "Aria's nose is more sensitive then the others, due to being raised in such a harsh place. Do you know any spells to block her nose right now?"

Wendy hummed dejectedly. "No... There's nothing that I can do to help her..."

I peer over through one eye and grimace. "Are they--" I say in a congested tone. "Fawning over Plue?"

I try to let my nose go, only to start retching again and slamming my head against the ground. "I guess it's up to me..." Wendy stammered before walking off.

"Someone get rid of that smell--" I whine, my eyes watering from the awful, putrid smell still clinging to the air. The cart starts moving and my head spins harder.

~*****~

I feel my head snap up as a very comforting scent envelopes my nose. "I'm ready to go!" I shout, suddenly pumped full of energy.

"I hope so, Lucy just washed a handkerchief in the river, so please don't pass out again." Ballad complained. "Now, let's go! Wendy needs our help!"

We gaze at one another before hoisting ourselves up onto the top of the train car. Lucy and Carla are pinning the booty gang with an intense glare that would scare even me. And Wendy... is in a skin tight suit like them. My head snaps over to the gang. "Who's perving on Wendy?" I ask in a deadly hiss.

"Lackeys! Huddle up!" Wendy suddenly chirps.

The three men suddenly bow in front of her, chanting something about a goddess. "Is she in their gang now?" Carla drones.

"I have absolutely no idea what the heck's happening here." Lucy sighed. "Or why they're calling her goddess."

"Listen, maybe the plan needs to be to stop being true scoundrels," Wendy suggests. "Maybe you guys should try bein' wizards instead. Fairy Tail has some correspondence classes you could take. I'll even put in a good word for you if you're interested!"

"D'you mean it?" The leader whimpers. "You care about us bums that much?"

"These feelings are all so new to me!" The skinny one whimpered.

"I never even thought about my future," The chubby one sobbed.

"Little Lady Boss, you're the nicest person we ever met!" The leader cries.

"This is getting weird," Lucy commented.

"Wendy can get anyone to like her, even undesirables like these." Carla sighed. "It's her gift, I suppose."

"Yeah, some gift." Lucy complains.

I hear someone leap onto the cart. "All right, you turds--" I hear Natsu growl.

"Natsu!" Lucy exclaims.

"I explained to him what was going on!" Happy exclaimed.

Ballad rubbed the back of her head. "I just said Wendy was in trouble," Ballad stammered.

"Wendy, these bad guys are taking you hostage, aren't they?" Happy cried.

"No, it's not really like that, Happy!" Wendy stammered, shaking her hands desperately.

"You guys were just pretending to be nice to me because you wanted to steal from my client?" Natsu growls as he stalks towards them. "Getting tricked like that makes me angry!

He charges at them as Wendy shouts. "Hold on, Natsu! They're changing their ways!"

She has to jump out of the way as he completely shoots them off of the train cart and into the sky-- and probably breaking through the atmosphere. I perch my hand over my brow and stare hard. "Wow, it's like the stink left with them." I comment.

"Those poor guys. I don't think they were anywhere near as bad as they pretended to be." Wendy sighs.

I drape my overcoat over her shoulders and stare hard. "Get dressed into your normal attire, please. You're too young to be dressed like that."

Wendy purses her lips at me and stamps her foot down, as if she were saying no. There must've been a harsh look in my eye, cause she flinched and immediately said yes and leapt back into the train cart to dress into her regular clothes.

~*****~

"Just how long we're you going to make me wait?!" The client complains when we finally get the train cart back to the station.

"Sorry, but we ran into some trouble along the way!" Lucy whines.

"Why does my body hate me," Natsu complains as I readjust him on my back.

"We're not on the train anymore, you know," I mention.

"Still, I'll be having your pay." The client states.

"A bit harsh," Carla sighs.

"Hey, Wendy. You need to work your magic on this guy. Melt his heart and get him on our side!" Lucy complains.

"I could always break his fingers," I mutter mostly to myself.

Ballad hums. "But that might mean we have to spend the night in jail."

"We'd still get paid, though!" I retort. "God, those stinky guys cost us some big bucks!" I sigh loudly and hoist Natsu up higher. "No use pleading with the greedy jerk, let's get home. Job's done. I got a few bars of gold at home you could have if that's what you need."

I hear them complain as I drag off Natsu.