~*****~

"So, this is what its like to sail the seas without puking your brains out." Natsu sighed as I peered over the edge of the large ship.

"Aye, matey! Welcome to the good life!" Happy chirped.

Natsu began to cheer. "Look out vehicles! Natsu's gonna ride you hard!"

"Careful!" Wendy giggled. "The Troia spell doesn't last forever!"

It's as if she brought it on, because I slumped over the railing, my stomach turning and forcing itself up my throat. "Aria!" Gray exclaimed as he quickly grasped my waist as I nearly tumbled over.

"Cast that spell again!" Natsu whined. "Hurry!"

"I'm sorry, I can't!" Wendy explained. "It only works a couple of times."

"Guess it's back to barf bags," Gray laughed as I leaned against the wall, grasping my stomach tightly.

"Oh, go suck an egg--" I bark before I throw my head over the railing again to barf. "Someone stop this thing--"

As soon as we're off the ship, and back at Fairy Tail, it's like everything went back to normal-- plus the addition of some new friends.

"Long story short; Wendy and Carla are Fairy Tail's newest members, so you better treat them well." Erza explained.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all!" Wendy chirped happily.

"Adorable!" Wakaba cried.

"Look, there's another cat like Happy and Ballad!" Nab exclaimed.

"Bet your mom's real pretty!" Macao said.

"Back off, ya bunch of freaks--" I snap. "She's underage!"

Natsu began going into great detail about our fight with Cobra-- that he totally leeched off of me. "And the giant snake sprouted wings and started flying!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, now I know you're pulling my leg." Elfman retorted. "Snakes aren't manly enough to fly!"

"It did!" I shout back.

"Yeah! And Aria can sprout wings, too!" Natsu shouted.

"Are you dippin' in the rum, Natsu?" Elfman laughed. "Ballad carrying her around ain't exactly sprouting wings--"

"You wanna find out?!" I bark.

"All right everyone, listen up!" Makarov shouts. "Let's welcome our new members the only way Fairy Tail can! Now eat, drink, and make merry!"

"Yeah! Who wants to brawl!" Natsu shouted.

My fist slammed against his face. "Bring it, you fire eating glory hog!" I shout at him.

"Hell yeah!" Natsu shouted. The entire guild filled with fighting, eating, and loud chatter for what felt like days.

~*****~

Just as I open my windows, a familiar face pops in, sending me backwards, screeching obscenities. "What's the big idea?!" I shout at Natsu as he laughs like a child who pulled the best prank. "I should freeze you to the sola tree!"

"Oh, quit with the threats, now c'mon, we're headin' out on a rumor about the dragons!" Natsu retorted.

"A rumor?" I ask, my brow quirked.

"Yeah, a dragon sighting. Some girl named Daphne spoke to the dragon." Natsu explained in a suddenly serious tone.

I hum softly and cross my arms over my chest. "And this is worth following up?"

Natsu nods. "Don't you want to find Everest? Even if it isn't her, and someone else, then it's a real lead to the other dragons!"

I hum again, my knuckle pressing against my chin. After a moment of thought, I nod. "All right. I'm in. Ballad, let's go!"

"Aye, miss!" Ballad chirped as she swooped down and perched on my head.

I leapt out the window after Natsu, my gaze catching sight of Wendy and Carla staring at Natsu strangely. "So, where are we headed?"

"Some place called Hotel Rise in the Western Wastelands," Natsu hummed.

"There's a hotel in the wastelands?" I comment dryly. I sigh loudly and pat my pockets. "Hold on. Ballad, in my drawer, there's two ice diamonds, could you go snag them real quick?"

"Ice diamonds?!" Carla exclaimed. "Those are very valuable, what on earth do you need those for?!"

Ballad drops them in my hands and I just hold them up before pocketing them. "Ice Diamonds are actually just condensed forms of Nevermelt Ice." I explain casually. "I had seven, but I only eat them when I'm going to dry, arid areas, like the wastes."

"Yeah, she gets dried out if she's in that much heat!" Ballad comments.

Natsu tugged on my arm. "C'mon, let's get going already!"

"We're coming, we're coming!" I snap at him. "You're totally gonna run poor Wendy and Carla off if you get too pumped up, you know."

Wendy giggled. "I'm fine," She says softly. "I'll try not to get in the way."

I ruffle her hair and we start our journey.

~*****~

"It looks kinda out of place, doesn't it?" Happy commented as I fanned at my face. My head felt so heavy with all the dry air around us.

"Not to mention run-down," Natsu snorted.

"I hope there's A/C inside," I mutter as we stride into the open doors.

"It doesn't look like anyone's around." Wendy mentioned.

"I think that's by design." Carla commented.

"What do you mean?" Natsu asks as I peer closely at the crystal on the desk.

I hum curiously at I tap on the jar. "That's a Lacrima." I mention.

"Yes. This place is run automatically by a Lacrima Lodging system." Carla nods. "It can check in and check out patrons, so there's no need to hire employees to work the desk."

"Wow. Blessed with beauty and brains to boot!" Happy chirped affectionately.

"You'd think there'd at least be someone around to maintain the place, but I don't even see any lodgers." Carla ignored Happy.

"Next time I see Gray, I'll punch him in the nose!" Natsu barked.

I sigh. "You took a rumor from Gray?" I ask loudly. "C'mon, he's probably yankin' your leg! Which means he's yankin' mine, too!"

"If you don't mind me saying so, I think we're jumping the gun." Wendy cut in. "There are plenty of rooms to check. If the lodge is automatic, Daphne might be staying in one of them."

I snort irritably and scratch at my head. "Yeah, that makes sense." I comment.

Ballad giggles. "You're already suffering from dehydration, miss! Time for a drink!" She holds up my canteen and hands it over to me. I chug it hastily.

"All right then, let's split up and start knockin' on all the doors!" Natsu declared.

And that's just what we did, ambling through the hallways until one room remained. "This is so... not suspicious at all. Why didn't we think of this one first?"

"I dunno," Natsu shrugged. "What's with the giant Happy dolls? Is anyone named Daphne in there?!"

"Yes, yes~" A woman's voice chirped.

"All right!" Wendy cheered.

"Open up!" I shout. "We need to talk with her now!"

The door opens and a woman peers out, crunching on something. "My, my. You certainly are a noisy bunch, ain't ya?" She says in a thick accent. She slips out of the door and peers very closely at Natsu.

"We heard you might be able to help us." Natsu commented.

"Oh, yes, yes indeed! Helping's what I do!" The women, who I presume is Daphne, yelps with a wide, bright smile. "Look no further, stranger, your search for aid is over! Come inside and I'll ease your burdens!" I give a shout of surprise as I'm suddenly being sucked into the room. We skid to a stop in the dark, dark room. "You're in for a treat, yes yes! I'm a missionary of beauty who travels the lands, aiding folks just like you. Dazzlin' Daphne!" She's on a stand held up by her cat figures as small fireworks erupt around her. "And I'm not talking about the run-of-the-mill beauty, friends. I mean real beauty. Genuine beauty. Beautiful beauty only nature provides. Yes, yes, yes! And here is a fabulous product that will help you achieve the natural magnificence of the reddest rose. Miracle diet Metamo-Chan!"

"Multiple chins?" Ballad echoed.

"Beauty, huh?" Natsu grimaced.

"Yes, yes! You!" She bellowed as she pointed down at Ballad. "Please do not mispronounce the name of my money maker! Metamo-Chan fights obesity with ease! It's scientically created, natural monounsautred and polyunsaturated nutrients that melt the pounds away!"

"Excuse me!" Natsu barked.

"Even it's creation is a delicate process!" Daphne ignored him. "For three whole days, we soak it in a secret herbal solvent, and then sun dry it for a week so it's bursting with flavor! And the result is-- say it right!"

"The Miraculous Diet Food Metamo-Chan, ma'am!" Ballad cried.

"Good, good! Super job, my baby pink feline friend!" Daphne praised. "In fact, you did so good, I'm giving you a sample completely free."

"But I'm not obese, and I only eat blue fin tuna--" Ballad trailed off.

"Yes, yes, it happens to come in fish flavor!" Daphne interrupted her. "Take one bite and your skin will be silky smooth. Take two bites and you'll be as slim as me!" I grimace as I stare down at the floppy thing in my hands. "You three must be siblings, right right. Have some for yourselves, on the house! Take the plunge and live the dream of absolute beauty! Don't believe me, see the results for yourself!" All her fat dolls immediately slimmed down. "It's a miracle!"

"Amazing!" Happy cried.

"Wow!" Wendy cheered. "I wanna try some!"

"You're actually buying this?" I ask irritably. Somehow, we're somewhere completely new, sitting on couches with drinks in front of us.

"If you're still not convinced this is right for you, listen to real testimonials from real customers. Metamo-Chan has completely transformed me, just like you said it would!" Daphne read her card aloud.

"Wait a minute--" Natsu tries as I glance around.

"Ten days later, and I am slim and gorgeous!"

"Stop talking." Natsu tries again as I slump back in my seat, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"Diet spells are out for me, it's metamo-chan or bust!" Daphne keeps going.

"Would you listen to me?" Natsu asked as I sat up, my fingers drumming against my legs in irritation.

"Yes, yes, and the success letters keep pouring in from all over Fiore and the far reaches of the wor--"

"QUIT SAYIN' YES YES!" Natsu and I bellow.

"Yes yes, of course sir and ma'am!" Daphne chirped, cleared unbothered. "You interested in signing up for the I Beat Obesity newsletter?"

"No, no! I'm not interested in your dumb letters, your obesity or your fishy diet kabob!" Natsu shouted.

"A kabob sounds like a super idea!" Daphne chirped. "You want to become business partners?!"

"We're only interested in dragons!" Natsu barked at her.

"Yes yes, everyone has a preference." Daphne hums as she adjusts her glasses. "You won't find judgement here! How many pounds does your dragon friend wanna shed? We could work out a diet plan!"

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH FOR FIVE SECONDS!" Natsu roared. "I'm a Dragon Slayer from Fairy Tail! I've been searching for a dragon named Igneel who disappeared. My friends here have also been searching for one, too-- The Ice Dragon, Everest, and the Sky Dragon, Grandeena." Natsu explains irritably as he thrusts his hand towards us. "We heard a rumor that you recently met one. That's the only reason we're here, all right? So if you know anything, tell us what it is! We need your help!"

Daphne hummed delicately, turning her back on us. "Yes yes, I did say that I met with a dragon. But that was just a fib for marketing." Daphne explains. "Sorry~"

"You lied?" I snapped.

"That's too bad." Wendy sighs.

"And the winner is Gajeel!" Happy exclaims.

"I had a feeling this would just be a waste of time." Carla sighs.

"Yes yes. Metamo-Chan works so well 'cause of the primary ingredient, which happens to be powdered dragon scales." Daphne explains. "Without 'em it would be a complete flop."

"Dragon Scales?" I echo.

"Yes yes, indeed. Of course, that's a lie, too." Daphne sighed. "Those are impossible to obtain."

"You mean metamo-chan doesn't work?" Wendy asked, flabberghasted.

"Bingo, darlin'!" Daphne cheered. "A well-crafted scam, if I do say so myself!"

"Unbelievable! Shameless!" Carla shouts.

"Yes yes. A girl's gotta make a livin' somehow. I'm sure you understand, dragon boy~" Daphne coos as she presses on Natsu's nose.

"I UNDERSTAND YOU SUCK! WE'RE LEAVING!" Natsu barked before marching to the door, and kicking it open.

"What the--" I bark as I peer out of the door.

"You gotta be kiddin' me!" Natsu shouted.

"Why is the hallway melting!?" Happy cried.

"How does a whole building vanish?!" Wendy asked.

"You're all mine now, birds in a cage~" Daphne chirped.

"We'll see about that!" I shout as I slam my fist against the door. I give a yelp as I'm thrown away from it.

"Aria, you okay?!" Natsu shouted.

"It's some kind of magic wall--" Ballad exclaimed. "You're a wizard!?"

Daphne giggles. "Yes yes. Quite a display, Ice Queen. If anything, you live up to your reputation." Her accent disappears.

"She's kinda scary without her twang!" Happy comments.

"I'm so glad that all of you could make it. Good things really do come to those who wait." Daphne chirps.

"This was a set up?" I ask angirly.

"Yes yes yes! And you fell right in it!" Daphne beams as she chews on one of her dumb metamo-chan's. "So sit back and have some metamo-chan!"

"Why would I want that?" I grunt.

"Perhaps you'd like the strawberry flavor?" Daphne asked excitedly. "There's also wasabi and teriyaki!"

"I said no!" I shout.

"We can't go out here, either," Wendy hums as she pries open a window.

"Seems this trap was masterfully crafted," Carla says.

"Yes yes yes. My magic is quite splendid." Daphne cheers.

Natsu growls. "I never met a wall I couldn't bring down by force!" He snaps as he runs to the door again.

He gets thrown back by a familiar wave of ice magic. "Natsu!" Happy cries.

"What the--" Natsu gasps.

"How's the floor feel, Natsu?" Gray asks with a strange look on his face.

"Oh, it's Gray!" Wendy beams.

"Wait, how were you able to get past that magic wall?" Ballad asks delicately.

"Good question!" I snap.

"Yeah, I've got my own bone to pick with you," Natsu agrees. "Next time make sure your info isn't complete garbage!"

Gray sighs as he strides towards Daphne. "It wasn't garbage. You did just what we wanted."

"Yes, yes, yes, they did." Daphne beams. She props her elbow onto Gray's shoulder. "So glad you could make it, my beloved Gray."

"You know her?" Natsu barks. "What's going on, man?!"

Daphne caresses Gray's face with an affectionate look. "Whoa! I think they're in love!" Happy cried.

"You're really slummin' it if you're with this chick!" Natsu shouted.

"Shut up." Gray sighs. "If you didn't think this was gonna happen one day, you're even dumber than I thought."

"What was that?" Natsu hisses as I just stare, dumbfounded.

"It's time for you and me to settle this little rivalry once and for all." Gray explained.

"What are you talkin' about?" Natsu snapped.

"Jeez, you're slow. I'm sayin' I'm tired of always following your lead." Gray stated irritably. "Now, I'll follow my own path. As of this moment, I'm through with Fairy Tail. And I'm through with all of you."

"You're serious?!" Natsu growled.

"Yes yes. That's what I call a man~" Daphne cooed. "My darling ice-cube really knows how to warm me up! Now be a dear, and fetch me a dragon slayer, would you?"

"You don't want to do this, Gray!" Natsu exclaimed.

"If you really believe that, stay there. It'll be much easier to end you!" Gray states as he cups his hands together.