Hospital Diaries #6

19th August 2021

I'm on the way to the clinic that I'll take the virginity test. Am excited and scared. I really wonder what the doctor is going to say.

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I'm in the clinic. Little bit too anxious. It's gonna be fine.

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She said I'm virgin. Oh okay. Now what?!

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I think I've gone mad. I must be making up my alters either. I'm certainly not sane. That's why people want me to be admitted to a madhouse.

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Someone on Reddit commented this once I shared the situation:  "The doctor sounds like a sack of shit 
Virginity has been long disproven to be ''observable'' 
bc it's not indicated by the Hymen, that can tear by normal movements and activities, and can even stay partially intact during penetration. It's not an indicator of virginity, it's leftover from the infant stage to not let feces in when wearing diapers. 
Not to mention rape isn't always PiV  Unless you immediately went to the doctor afterwards and found residue like sperm or skin particles of the rapist, there is no way he can tell you're a virgin or not"

And I feel better. Still I don't think I can be over it for several days.

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I've talked to Mahin, and he made me feel better by lots. Huh... It'll be fine.

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I feel like losing my mind. We are on the way to the district that I was raped. I will try to pin point the house that the rapes took place in. I hate the doctor who said that I was virgin although virginity tests scientifally have never been a thing.

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It feels like time has slowed down. We will soon be there, in the town that I was raped.
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I found the house. I dont know why, I want to cry. And die.

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I fell upon the floor and the parents had to help me get up. Why? Just why does no one believe?!

Someone, anyone please tell me its real!

I want to die. I want to kill. I want to kill people. How do I resist?

Am scared. Will it ever be okay?

It happened. I saw it. I know it happened. Why does nobody believe? I say it happened why don't you believe? Just why?

I want to die. I want to kill.

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