The alarm woke me up and I groaned, rolling over and hit the top button on the digital alarm clock.

"Arlo, we gotta get up."

He didn't reply.

I turned towards him, slinging my arm around his body. "Babe, we gotta get up."

"Mmh," he breathed.

I pulled on his shoulder and turned him around. I smiled at him and kissed him softly.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah."

I pulled up and frowned down at him. "You okay?"

"Just tired." He looked to the side, avoiding my gaze.

"Arlo, if something's wrong, you'd tell me, right?"

"Yeah," he repeated and turned on his side, his back turned to me.

"Okay, well... I'll go take a shower." I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and walked into the bathroom. I was quickly finished and jumped out, drying my hair with the hairdryer.

I returned to the bedroom to find Arlo still in bed. He'd usually be up by now, making coffee.

"Arlo?"

"Mmh."

"You really need to get up. Otherwise we'll be late."

He pulled the covers up further, shutting me out. I balled my fists and walked around the bed to his side, crouching down in front of his face.

"Arlo, please. We need to get ready."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "I can't," he whispered.

I clenched my jaw and reached my hand out, brushing his hair away from his eyes. They were so swollen, and he looked hollowed.

"What's happening?"

"I can't," he just repeated.

"Okay, it's okay, babe." I leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I'll go make you some tea, yeah?"

He nodded and pulled the covers all the way up to his nose.

I grabbed my phone and brought it with me into the kitchen. I put the kettle on and found Oliver's number.

He picked up after the second beep. "Hey man, what's up?"

"I-it's Arlo. He won't get out of bed and he's barely talking."

"Okay, what you need to do is not push him. Just ask him what he needs. I'll call Achilleus and tell him, so don't worry about work. I'll come over as soon as I can, okay?"

"O-okay," I stammered, and he hung up. Without even saying bye or anything.

My stomach was a pit. My legs were jelly and I was so scared. What if Arlo wasn't going to be okay again? I just needed him to be okay.

I poured the water into Arlo's favourite mug and dumped a bag of tea in it. Also put some sugar in it. He liked it sweet.

I brought it to the bedroom and Arlo was lying the same way as when I had left him. I crouched down in front of him again and tried to smile.

"I've got your tea."

He opened his eyes and smiled a little. "Thank you." He pushed himself up and took the mug from me, carefully taking a sip.

"What do you need?"

"Please just... Stay with me?" His voice was so tiny.

I smiled fully and nodded. "Of course. I'm not going anywhere without you."

I opened the door for Oliver, and he looked worried.

"How is he?"

"He's in the living room. We're watching a movie."

He nodded and followed me inside. Arlo sat on the couch and barely looked up when Oliver entered.

"Hey Arlo. You in your head again?"

"No," Arlo muttered.

"That's not what Dion said. You didn't wanna get out of bed this morning. You're missing a day at work too."

Arlo shrugged almost carelessly.

"Come on, man. Talk to me."

Arlo clenched his jaw and reluctantly looked up at Oliver. "I'm not there yet."

"No, you're out of bed."

Arlo nodded. "I'm just..."

"Yeah."

Oliver and Arlo might as well be speaking another language. I didn't understand what was going on at all. But I didn't feel like I needed to know either. As long as Oliver was here, there was someone who knew what to do, because I had no clue. I had just parked Arlo in front of the telly and then wrapped myself around him. He had held on to me too, almost constantly moving his hands to remind himself I was still there. I'd place a kiss on his cheek when he did it, just to reassure him I still loved him.

"And Dion's staying with you?"

Arlo nodded and looked back at the telly again. Oliver nodded and then glanced at me, jerking his head, motioning me to follow him to the kitchen area.
"Listen," he said with a low voice. "Just stay with him. He's not too badly off, he's probably just a little anxious. So try to get him out of his head as much as possible. If you can get him out of the apartment, then that'd be great. A walk in the nearby park might be really good for him."

"Okay, so far I've just watched some movies with him."

"Yeah, that's good too. Just get him through this. It's just a phase and he'll be okay." He patted my shoulder a little awkwardly. "I also called Achilleus and he has given you guys the week off. He knows Arlo needs this from time to time. So, don't worry about work."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"It's just Arlo." He smiled a reassuring smile and took his leave.

I returned to Arlo and he wrapped his arms around me, pushing me down on the couch, he cheek on my chest.

"You feeling alright?" I asked and ran my hand through his hair.

"Better with you here," he muttered.

"Just tell me if you need anything. Anything. I'll get it myself. Or get it delivered."

"I just want you here." He tightened his grip around me a little.

"Okay, I'll stay here then."

I got us pizza and even got Arlo to eat some of it. He wasn't very interested in eating, he just wanted to lie very closely to me, his arms wrapped around me. But I still got two slices almost shoved down his throat with the promise I'd cuddle him after.

"Hey Arlo?" I said tentatively.

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me a little about what is happening to you right now?"

He sighed deeply and looked up at me. "I just feel so wrong."

"Wrong how?"

"I can't describe it. But everything feels wrong and I'm scared to leave the apartment."

I nodded a little hesitantly. "Like something would happen if you left?"

He nodded.

"What do you think would happen?"

"I don't know. And I'm too scared to find out." He smooshed his face against my chest. "I know it sounds so stupid."

"It doesn't sound stupid, Arlo. I can't say I understand it because I know nothing would happen, but... I guess that doesn't really help?"

"No. Not really. But I feel better with knowing you'll stay here too."

"I'm staying right here." I ran my hand through his hair, and he exhaled loudly, the tension in his body disappearing.

He moved up a little and kissed the side of my throat. It caught me so off guard, my hips bucked on their own and a groan slipped out of my mouth.

He lifted himself up and looked down at me. I was about to apologise but the look in his eyes, his expression, it stopped me. It was a weird one. Very serious but also something else.

He lifted off me and left the living room. I had no idea what was going on but then he was back with a well-known tube and a condom. He joined me on the couch again and pulled my shorts off me.

He was careful when he slipped his fingers inside of me, carefully watching me. We still hadn't said anything, and it didn't help my racing heart or heavy breathing. He just kept looking at me until I was ready. Then he opened his trousers, took care of the condom and grabbed my thighs, carefully pressing himself inside of me.

I circled my arms around him and pulled him down. He placed his forehead right next to my head on the armrest of the couch, slowly moving his hips back and forth.

I couldn't stay quiet. I was digging my nails into his back and he was completely quiet, just breathing hard and holding on to my thighs.

I finished so fast, clenching my body around his and he started to move faster. He growled and grabbed my arm, fitting his fingers in between mine. He was still with me, not getting lost in his head. Not when he held my hand.

I cupped his cheek with my free hand, getting him to look at me.

"I love you," I whispered.

He moved down and kissed me, low growls rumbling through his body with every movement. I could feel his teeth against my lips, growing bigger but for once he didn't stop. He didn't apologise. He lost control but he was comfortable enough to lose it with me.

His hand on my thigh ran up on under my shirt, his nails growing and digging into my skin. But he didn't break it. He was so careful, even when he kissed me to not hurt me.

He growled and then I felt him pulsing. His body shivered and I felt his nails retract.

He pulled up and looked down at me. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." I smiled up at him, but he didn't smile back.

"I used you..."

"And I didn't stop you. Whatever you need to feel better, Arlo, I'm here for you. Even if it means a quickie on the couch. We don't have make love all the time."

He still didn't look so sure as he moved away from me and pulled his trousers up. He handed me my shorts in silence.

"Arlo," I breathed and moved into his lap, right after getting dressed. I took his face in my hands, forcing him to look up at me. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I don't wanna be like them." His eyes got very shiny.

"You're not. Honestly, I enjoyed it. It was hot."

"You sure?" His voice shook.

I nodded and leaned in, kissing him. "I like the way you fuck," I whispered against his lips.

I knew the growl was involuntary, but it wasn't unwelcomed. Neither was the hunger in his kiss as his tongue swirled around mine.

I wasn't kidding when I told him we didn't have to make love all the time.We truly didn't. It didn't have to be heartfelt and soft accompanied by longand heavy eye contact. If he needed to release some pressure in some way andbeing with me would help, then I was more than on board with that.