Erean did not let himself get concerned over the pained look on Rannok's face when they finished packing up and went to saddling the horses. The crow landed in a branch nearby. He could feel its mind press against his again, and he quickly smoothed out any thoughts of worry.

"You could always ask him what he is so afraid of," it said. 

Erean cursed himself for not paying attention. He ignored the cramping in his fingers as he threw the saddle over the back of his horse and pulled its cinch tight. The travel had not been easy on him. It sucked away all his strength and balled his fingers and calves into rock hard twists of muscles. He did not wince as he threw a leg over his horse's back. 

"Ignoring me will not make me go away, and you cannot keep me out forever. I can tell that you are exhausted already."

"We will see how long I last, then," Erean said as he grabbed the pack mule's lead and tied it to the horn of his saddle. The animal lifted its head from the grass, blinked at him, and blithely followed as he kicked his horse toward the trail head.

"I could make your life easier."

Erean laughed. "Or you could make it harder. It is not a chance I am willing to take"

He tried not to watch Sasha as she struggled to get on her dancing horse's back. Eventually, with some trouble, she got herself over his back and kicked him forward. Erean's horse scuttled out of the way as Driver surged forward onto the trail. He could see the bandages poking through the top of her boot, already soaked with blood. They'd have to stop soon to change them. He cursed himself for the delay.

"Control your animal," he said, but Sasha did not respond. He still wished she would allow the animal to carry their belongings, but the more time passed, the more he was uncertain he'd even be suitable for that. The horse spooked at the slightest provocation, and seemed to take offense at the presence of other horses. He should have insisted more that she pick a different one.

Rannok came astride him, hands clenched so tightly around his horse's reins his knuckles had lost their coloring. Erean gave him a side glance, but said nothing. Rannok kept his eyes locked on the road ahead of them.

"You saved her life, you know."

Rannok nodded and did not turn his head in either direction. Erean watched as his knuckles tightened. His horse lifted its head a bit. Rannok's posture stiffened. He let out a quiet gasp and pulled up on its head.

"Easy on his face and he will not do that," Erean said. Rannok nodded again, but his posture stayed stiff as a tree in the wind and his hands did not falter. Erean stifled a sigh before it could escape his lips. 

"I do not know what happened to you, but it must have been terrible," he said. He did not add any words about how if Rannok would only relax, the trip would go easier. He was sure he already knew. Erean recognized the stiff posture and the frantic sleep talking and the terrified gaze, like Rannok was worried there might be a bear over his shoulder.

"There was a reason I left Terres," Rannok said. 

"Most people have a reason."

"I still worry," Rannok said. "About the people I left behind...Terres isn't good for marked ones."

"I've noticed," Erean said dryly. He'd seen plenty of people shut up for much less coming into southern plains ports. Women with odd colored eyes. Children with birthmarks. Some as young as eleven. They tried to purge them of the magic they supposedly carried, or worse. He didn't wish to ever see it again. He could only imagine how badly a place like Terres treated them, for them to feel a need to leave for somewhere like the southern plains.

"Horizon was the first place that had a boat out. I had some money and I spent it all on the trip over. I couldn't go back even if I wanted to." Rannok laughed a little under his breath, in a way Erean knew wasn't meant to be funny. 

"You can't make other people change their minds if they have already made them," Erean said. "Who was she?"

"Childhood friend," he responded. "It wasn't like that."

Erean nodded. "That makes it better." He could feel the crow pressing on the edges of his consciousness again as he thought about his wife, and the children he left. For a moment he'd forgotten it was there.He did not allow himself the indulgence of his own hurt and thought back to Rannok instead. 

"Actually, it makes it worse," Rannok said, as pressed his lips together and furrowed his eyebrows. The flash of pain lasted only a moment, then the boy's expression settled. His knuckles were no longer white. Erean wondered if he had relaxed, or just forgotten his fear for a moment. Either one was as good as the other, he supposed. 

"I won't pretend to understand," Erean said, though he understood better than Rannok thought, what it was to leave your family. What it was to see their faces get smaller over the back of a ship as it pulled away from the harbor. How hard it was to know you could never go back, even if you had the money and wanted to. Sometimes he wondered why he was still trying.

"Because you have hope," the crow replied. Erean shook his head and spurred his horse forward into an easy lope, until he could no longer feel the crow's presence. The ache in his fingers made it hard to close the reins in his hands.

"Watch where you're going," Sasha said as she struggled to keep Driver in check. Erean pulled at the reins with one finger, slowing the horse just in time to keep them from colliding, or even worse, running past and spurring Driver to take off with her again. The mule snorted out its nose. Driver dropped a foot. Sasha booted him in the ribs. Erean winced as he danced and she pulled at his face once more.

"My apologies," Erean said. He massaged the stiffness out of his fingers as best he could. He tried not to think about it. About his children and the cramps and the fact that if they did not find a solution, he would die. And then his family would die. And none of them would ever learn what the reason was, to why the world was so cruel. Why it felt the need to steal children from their parents and to make uncles die in pain. He would never find the reason for his own clumsy fingers and stiff calves. 

He would have left his home and desecrated those bodies and abandoned his children for no reason better than pride. His colleagues had laughed at him. They'd called his search a fool's errand, told him there was no way to understand the whims of gods and magic. Had advised him to quit his job and spend as much time with them as he could before the stiffness took him from his family, with varying levels of kindness and sarcasm included in those words.

He did not want to think about the possibility that they were right. It was all he could do to keep the crow out without thinking of those things.