Chapter 6: Dreams and Nightmares
Dinner concluded, and the Scouts were sent to finish unpacking and prepare for curfew.
As Kuro was preparing for bed, a soft, dusky orange glow from the setting sun hung in the air. Outside the window, and down two stories, there was some training equipment fashioned out of wooden beams, and some movement below caught Kuro's eye.
Captain Levi walked out onto the grass. He was alone, and he wasn't wearing his uniform. Instead, he had on a pair of black pants and a plain, grey cotton shirt with long sleeves. The neckline was loose and wide, revealing his prominently strong deltoids and sharply defined collarbone. The Captain had a small white towel tossed over his shoulder, and he removed it to drape it over a metal bar. Looking toward the fiery sunset, he began rolling his sleeves up past his elbows. His forearms were toned and athletic with visible veins running down from the bend in his elbow.
A sparrow landed on one of the wooden posts, and Levi turned his head to look at it. The little bird hopped one way and then the other, its head tilting to either side as it chirped and twittered, and then it was gone almost as soon as it had arrived.
The Captain watched it fly away, a dull ache pulsing in his chest. Quietly, he looked down as he pulled on a pair of black fingerless gloves. Then he sighed as he dropped his arms to his sides, letting them swing freely a little as he eyed the bar that sat several inches above his head. Tilting his neck on both sides, he then bent both elbows back as he crouched slightly before jumping straight up and grabbing the bar with both hands to begin a set of pull-ups.
Kuro sat and watched the Captain for a bit. He wished he could have done some training, but the barracks were too full for any late-night press-ups let alone anything else. Back at the Cadet Training Ground, Kuro would often exercise before bed... or more like work himself to exhaustion, pass out and still wake up before everyone else. It was the only way he found to avoid having dreams and nightmares.
As he watched, he kept a mental note of how the Captain trained. His father had always told him that sometimes it was better to learn by watching others. Since the Captain was the best, surely he could learn a thing or two by watching.
Levi continued to work out as the sun slipped behind the treeline. A symphony of crickets harmonized with the wind in the leaves and the rustle of grass, and the soft, rhythmic clunk of a metal bar on wood. Levi's legs were bent over the bar now with his ankles crossed, and he hung upside-down with his hands behind his head. Over and over, he curled upward to meet his knees, working his powerfully strong core. His effort was audible in his soft, grunted breaths and visible in the sweat that caused strands of ink-black hair to start to stick to his forehead and around his ears, but his expression was perfectly plain as he stared up at the night sky studded with stars.
With how hard the Captain worked, Kuro was beginning to understand how much time and effort he would have to put in to even begin to be close to the standard of Levi Squad. Any down time he had would have to be spent training. Not that it was ever a problem.
He also had a feeling that he should put more effort into things he was forgetting, like how he learnt to fight during his two years on the streets. It wasn't like during training but here... maybe it would be a little more accepted. Even if it was just a way to train his body.
About a half hour passed, and at last, Levi's boots dropped to the ground. He reached up for the towel that hung over the metal bar. His chest moved subtly up and down as he breathed through parted lips, and his shirt stuck to the damp skin on the middle of his back. He lifted the towel to rub at his forehead, his hair falling limply over the coarse fabric. Then he flipped the towel over his shoulder and proceeded to pull off his gloves, looking up at the sky once more as he did.
Kuro noticed that the Captain seemed to look at the sky a lot. Maybe it was a habit from fighting titans. There was no point looking down while they towered above you. He obviously worked hard to be where he was. He, himself, would have a long way to go. But he could do it. For Ryu.
Levi used the end of the towel to rub at the back of his neck as he looked down again. He then turned and headed toward the castle, disappearing from Kuro's line of sight.
The Captain had a lot on his mind tonight. Seeing the new recruits had brought back a lot of memories...
The heavy castle door opened, and it could faintly be heard from the barracks as it shut again with a creak and a solid thud.
Retreating from the window, Kuro moved to lie down on his bed. He felt restless however. Looking up at the ceiling didn't help at all. He didn't know what to do with himself... just lie there until morning probably. Even after three years of training, he still struggled to fall asleep without wearing himself out first.
"Can't sleep either, huh..." came a soft voice beside him. It was Eren. He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head.
He sighed. "No," he said quietly. "But it looks like I'm not the only one." He didn't realise anyone else was still awake.
"Yeah..." Eren said lowly. "I haven't really been sleeping well lately. Not that I ever do... but it's been a lot worse since Trost."
"I know what you mean. It was almost like Shiganshina all over again... at least... those are the memories brought back for me... I don't think I'll ever forget what I saw back then." He looked over at Eren. "Everything seems too normal."
"Yeah... I don't even remember a lot of what happened." Eren was quiet for a moment before adding, "...I remember getting eaten."
Kuro pulled a face. "Sounds disgusting. I remember it quite well. Took my first titan down. It was the bastard that had ruined my eye. Assisted with another one later... think you got the cadet record though."
Eren squirmed a little. "I still haven't taken down a titan using ODM gear," he said tightly.
"A kill is a kill in my mind." Kuro smiled a little. "Anyway... you've lived through another titan attack. There aren't many of us that can say that."
"That's true..." Eren acknowledged. "Kinda feels like we got the short end of the stick sometimes, doesn't it..."
"Yeah..." Kuro looked up again. "Sometimes I didn't think we could get a shorter stick... Wall Rose didn't help that much."
Eren was quiet. The key he wore around his neck rolled around in his fingertips as his other hand remained behind his head.
Why did this power have to fall on him? He was nobody special. And what did his father have to do with it? Nothing made sense...
"Hey, Eren," Kuro called over quietly. "Look, I hate to be the optimist but we'll figure this out. We've had one victory against the titans. We can do it again."
"Yeah," Eren agreed quietly. "I don't know where this power came from, but hell, I'm gonna use it."
"There we go. That's the Eren I know." Kuro smiled. "We'll get stronger as well to help you."
Eren's eyes shifted downward to the key he held. He said nothing more, but his thoughts kept him awake long into the night.
And Kuro wasn't in a much better position. If he tried to go asleep normally, he would have just woken up with nightmares. Better to stay awake until he passed out...
No nightmares that way.
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