It was so quiet. Soft, flickering lamplight danced with the shadows over the books and equipment and loose sheets of paper scattered around Hange's office. She was sitting at her desk reading, or at least appearing to do so. Her forehead was in both hands, her elbows on either side of the open book, and she hadn't turned a page in twenty minutes.

Moblit had a desk too, only Kuro sat there now. The Vice Captain was elsewhere for the evening, and Kuro had been given permission to use the space from time to time for his studying.

Neither Levi nor Hange had told anyone their news, but anyone could see that the Section Commander was off her game. It had been nearly a week since the incident in the hot sun... A week since Kuro had spoken to Hange of his hunch.

It was unusual to see her this quiet and subdued. Even when she was researching, Hange always seemed to be swapping books or writing pages and pages of notes.  Kuro was beginning to find the quieter atmosphere concerning, but he didn't think that pointing it out would help anything.

The brash tolling of the clock tower outside the window startled Hange, her one elbow dropping off the edge of the desk as she inhaled sharply. She looked around, as though not having realized the lateness of the hour. "Still here then, Kuro?" She removed her glasses with one hand and pinched the bridge of her nose with the other. "I'd almost forgotten you were sitting there."

He looked up from his book, turning to face Hange. "Yes, Section Commander. I was just finishing up some reading before tomorrow's training, but I can leave now if you need me to."

"No... no." Hange replaced her glasses with a sigh. "You're fine, Kuro. I'm just... not myself these days, I suppose." She leaned forward on the desk, taking hold of both elbows. It was quiet for a moment longer before she spoke in a voice uncharacteristic to her usual demeanor. "...you were right, you know. But you may have guessed that by now."

"I suspected so, but I didn't want to say anything." Kuro gave her a small smile. "Well, congratulations, Section Commander."

Hange looked sideways, resting her chin against the front of her shoulder. Congratulations felt very out of order right now... but of course, that was the customary thing to say. She chuckled without much feeling. "Thanks, Kuro." Her voice sounded sad.

He knew he was the one who had pointed it out, but due to Hange's reaction, he wished he had been wrong. The news had obviously taken a toll on her.  Kuro stood up slowly and made his way over to her desk. "Is there..." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Is there anything I can do?"

Hange looked up at him as though she hadn't noticed until now that he'd walked over to her. "Oh... no, I don't think so." She gave him a smile as her thumb rubbed against her arm. "I probably seem pretty dramatic right now. But... it doesn't quite seem right. Bringing a child into this world. Levi and I..." She lifted her shoulders and shook her head. "We aren't meant to be parents. We're soldiers. Our lives are dedicated to a cause that threatens to take our lives every time we step outside those walls. I've never been afraid to die... but then, I've never had to leave behind someone who depends on me." She started to go on but then sighed, dropping her head into her hands again, her messy hair falling forward through her fingers.

His hand dropped back down to his side. Even though Kuro could never fully comprehend what she was going through, he did understand in a small way. The only reason he was here with the Scouts was because there was no one depending on him and no one waiting for his return. When Kuro looked into his own future, he only saw the jaws of a titan, and he knew that it wouldn't matter if what was left was never found. The world would carry on as if nothing had happened.

He realised his thumb was running over his knuckles and quickly clasped his hands behind his back. "Section Commander..." he began cautiously. "I can't pretend that I understand your position, but, if I may... there might be another way to think about this... situation." He had never been the most eloquent, and it showed. Kuro's heart went out to her, but he felt so helpless when it came to his words. Clearing his throat lightly, he continued. "We know we don't really fight for ourselves or for those beside us. There are many here who don't have anyone to fight for, but it's never really been about that... We fight for a future that a lot of us, if not all, will never see." Kuro's hand wrung his wrist behind his back, trying to find the best way to say this. "But, maybe, Section Commander... those we leave behind will."

Hange's hands had come to rest with her fingers interlocked just above her top lip. Her eyes were faraway, but she was listening.

Kuro sighed as he thought back to a distant memory by a warm fire. "Fighting for the next generation, I guess, is like... planting a tree, really. They grow slowly, so you aren't planting it for yourself. It'll benefit whoever comes after." Kuro stood up a little straighter. "This world is far from perfect... but we can hope that the future will be better. That the future for your child well be better."

Hange was very quiet, and the silence that followed made Kuro wonder if he'd had no right to fill it. And when her eyes slid slowly shut, he braced himself for a tongue-lashing about remembering his place. But then, Hange reached out and took his hand, gripping it firmly with feeling.

"Thank you, Kuro," she murmured with quiet sincerety. She sounded so tired.

Kuro's eyes widened as she took hold of his hand. It was unusual, but it made him feel like he'd done the right thing. "You're welcome, Section Commander," he replied, keeping his voice quieter than usual.

Sighing strongly, Hange sat up straighter as she let go. She reached for a notebook and returned to her work, a little more clear in the head at least, though far from her usual self. Still... it seemed to be a tiny step in the right direction.

*****

It was late by the time Hange returned to her quarters.  Levi had left a single lamp on for her, and the bedroom door was shut.  Making her way over to it, her steps slowed by the weight of another day, Hange's fingers worked the buckles and straps to remove her harness, stepping out of it completely after removing her boots.  Then quietly, she opened the door to their room.

A light for her benefit was on in here too, though it was turned down very low.  Its soft glow hardly filled the little room.  Levi was lying on his back atop the bed, not even having bothered to get under the covers.  From the looks of it, he'd laid down without the intention of going to sleep, but it had claimed him anyway.  One arm was at his side while the other hand rested over his middle, his head turned slightly away. He still wore his uniform pants, but his white shirt was untucked with the first few buttons undone.  His chest moved slowly and rhythmically up and down with his breathing.

Hange walked silently over and sat down gently onto the mattress beside him, careful not to jostle him.  He was a light sleeper, and for him not to even stir at her movements meant that he must be exhausted.  He was sure to wake up by the time she crawled in beside him... but she wanted a moment just to look at him.  Finding him like this was rare, and Hange felt her heart swell as her eyes took in his sleeping form.  She loved this man... more than life itself.  In some ways, she always had.  Oh, not in the way she did now, but ever since the first time she'd seen him, he'd been something special to her.  She understood him, spoke his language, knew his heart... to some, he was a legend, to others a killer, but to Zoe Hange, he was friend, lover, and soulmate... her other half in every sense.

Very gently, she reached out her hand, letting her fingers slip under his open shirt to touch the skin just over his heart.

He inhaled softly, turning his head against the pillow.  Slowly, his eyes opened halfway.  Glimpsing her beside him, they closed again as he exhaled, bringing his hand up to her wrist.  "What time is it?" he asked, his voice wrapped in sleep.

"It's late," was all she whispered in return, not completely knowing the hour herself.  She could feel his heartbeat beneath where her hand rested against his subtly rising and falling chest.

His eyes opened again, still sensitive to the light.  "Is everything alright?"

"Mhm."  She nodded, letting her thumb brush against his skin.  "I just... Something was said to me today that I needed to hear."

Levi sat up slowly, briefly rubbing one eye with the base of his palm as one knee bent up.  "And what was that?" he asked quietly.  Blinking his steely grey eyes, he looked at her in the dim light.

Hange sighed, letting her own gaze stray as she tipped her head thoughtfully.  "I know we've never wanted a family, Levi... not as long as this war threatens our very existence.  But... why fight at all if we don't believe in a future?  A future long after we're gone... one cultivated for the next generation."

Levi sighed, looking down and away.  It was the first they'd really spoken of it since first learning the news. It was like they were finally acknowledging the titan in the room.  

Hange went on, carefully and gently, as though she herself were still processing the words she was saying.  "It's true that our world is wrought with pain and suffering.  It's true that any one of us could die the second we step outside those Walls.  But we cannot allow the titans to take away from us the hope of a free world.  And... children ARE that hope."  Her hand came affectionately to his bent-up knee as she continued, her voice only subtly rising with conviction.  "If we fail to raise up another generation, then we are admitting defeat.  We have to hang onto the belief that one day, there will be a world without titans.  And we have to fight with the hope that our child will be a part of that world."

Levi was quiet for what felt like several minutes, pondering Hange's words.  What she was saying made sense... but then so did all of their fears.  But what could they do now, aside from choosing which perspective to focus on?  His chest lifted and dropped heavily in a weighted sigh.  "I guess there's no use pretending this isn't happening," he said lowly, his tone still characteristic of himself and yet just a touch softer.  His eyes met Hange's again.  "I can honestly say I've only ever been truly afraid a handful of times in my life... and this is one of them."

"Me too," Hange exhaled, smiling just a little.

For a moment, they just looked at one another, and what was said between them in the flickering lamplight was without words.  And then Levi reached out to wrap his hand around the back of her neck, his fingers weaving into her hair as he pulled her forehead to his.  It wasn't quite hope that they felt... not yet.  It was too small still to be called much of anything, but it was there.  

And unbeknownst to them both, in that very moment, a tiny heartbeat pulsed for the very first time.