Asking Nate to come over for dinner hadn't been that hard. But waiting for dinner time to arrive had been torture. Literally.

First, as I walked out of class, I freaked out thinking if Dad would invite Marie for dinner as well, because that was bound to be truly awkward, not for Nathan, but for me.

I was nervous as it was, there was no point in adding more problems to the whole equation.

Then, I thought about dinner itself. Dad was an amazing father and a respected lecturer at Harvard. But he had no cooking skills. He could make great sandwiches. Nothing more.

What if it had all been some kind of sick joke? What if he didn't actually want to meet Nathan? What if I was making a fool of myself?

"Calm down," Farah squeezed my arm reassuringly. "I'm sure you'll have a great evening, I mean Nathan is not" she gestured with her hands, "you know, Scary or anything like that" her blue eyes gazed at me sympathetically since I was sure that was exactly what she was thinking.

"And Chris is not?" I mocked her.

She shrugged. "He was the absolute definition of politeness with my parents. You know, he tried to make conversation with both of them and he even made a few cheesy remarks to my Mom. She was giggling like a little girl." She rolled her eyes.

Thinking it through, I didn't particularly see Nathan as the talkative one.

And Dad was, well, Dad.

I grimaced as I pictured all three of us eating pizza in awkward silence.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This was such a bad idea.

Farah rolled her eyes after slapping my arm. "It will be all right!" She pulled up her glasses while narrowing her eyes, "did you actually hear anything I said?"

Eyes wide, I blinked at her completely clueless. "I just don't see Nathan making conversation."

"Look" she added gravely, "he's the one that has to make a good impression, doesn't he? Let him sweat a little, then!" she shook her head, "I'm sure he'll try his best, stop worrying so much!"

I nodded for her sake. But to be honest, he seemed pretty unfazed when I told him, so I was sure that he wasn't even thinking about it.

I couldn't help but think about Mom. She would have been thrilled and pulling out all the embarrassing photos after making something scrumptious and delicious. I bit my lip as I wished Mom was there. I could see her making jokes to ease up all the tension. A sad smile formed in my lips as we walked out of school.

Farah had been continuing to talk and I felt bad for not paying attention to her. At some point, she noticed because she grabbed my arm stopping me. "I'm sure everything will be all right, Cass." Her eyes were sincere and reassuring. "But make sure to take in every detail because I want to know everything, ok?"

"Yes." I rolled my eyes grinning at her.

"Good!" her eyes darted behind me, "Starting right now, ok?"

I blinked confused as she smiled cheekily. She nodded her head making me look behind me. My heart skipped a beat as I saw Nathan leaned on his truck with his arms crossed staring at me. A lopsided smile played in his lips as he noticed me looking his way.

"What is he doing?" I turned panicked to Farah.

She chuckled, "seems like he's helping out with dinner, silly!" Completely grave, she added raising her index finger, "Details, I want all details, ok?"

Swallowing hard, I ignored her and walked to his truck completely annoyed at my stupid stomach. It was making me feel weird.

Gosh. I hadn't felt like this yesterday, had I? I didn't want to dwell on my answer, because it was pretty pathetic. Of course, I had. I was just feeling worse since I kind of accepted that I liked him.

"Hey" he uncrossed his arms and stood straight. Sporting that lopsided smile on his face that made him so attractive. Ugh.

"Hi" my voice was high pitched. I cleared up my throat, "so, I'll see you at seven?"

He chuckled as if what I had said was funny. "We're working on Math, remember?"

Scratching the back of my head, I murmured, "I thought we were doing it after dinner." As soon as the words left my mouth, my eyes widened and my cheeks flushed like crazy.

Nate's lopsided smile appeared again as he took a step closer to me. Playfully, he added "I like this side of you." He leaned closer completely invading my personal space. His grey eyes were piercing. Placing both palms on his chest, I pushed him away.

"You know what I meant!" I said in one breath.

His grey eyes darkened as he stared at me. "I do. And that's why I want to finish homework first." He raised an eyebrow as I stopped breathing altogether. A moment later, he burst out laughing. He grazed my arm as he opened the door for me. "Let's hurry up with homework, then."

Annoyed at his cockiness, I huffed and hopped inside the car. He closed the door with that stupid smile on his face. As he walked around the car, I gazed at where Farah had been but she was gone already. That was good since I appeared to be making a fool of myself.

Sighing, I pulled out my phone and texted Dad that we were coming home to do homework. And I asked him about dinner.

Nathan's car roared into life and Dad still hadn't texted back.

"Tsk. So eager to finish homework, Taylor," he shook his head smirking.

"Whatever" I muttered annoyed while crossing my arms and looking at the road.

Nate chuckled. "So, should we get something for dinner?"

"You're already hungry." My lips twitched as I knew the answer.

Gazing at me for a moment, his lips tugged up in a bright smile as his eyes looked blissful, "you know me!"

I shook my head. "I don't know what we'll have for dinner, but we can stop by the store to get something," I trailed thinking if I had enough money to get food for dinner in my wallet. Reaching out for my backpack, I pulled out my wallet and saw that I had three twenties.

Without turning at me, Nate added, "I've got it, don't worry."

"I invited you, remember?"

Once again, he turned to me and his lips tugged up in that lopsided smile of his, "I do." My mouth went dry as my heart raced.

That smile was going to be the death of me.

He found a spot on the parking lot and we both got out of the car at the same time. My phone's tone startled me making Nate crack up. Embarrassed, I pulled it out and answered Dad, "hi."

"Hey sweetie! So, I am meeting your prospect tonight?"

Gosh. Tightly, I pulled the phone closer to my ear, hoping that Nate hadn't heard anything. "Dad, we're at the supermarket, what do you want to have for dinner?" I said through clenched teeth.

Dad laughed at the other side. God! What was wrong with him?

"What about steak and veggies on the side? Maybe some potatoes?"

That seemed easy, so I shrugged somewhat relieved. "Yeah, okay."

"Remember I gave you an additional credit card? Use that." I nodded despite the fact that he wasn't looking at me.

"Dad?" I grimaced as Nate drove the shopping cart next to me, "is just the three of us, right?" I gestured at him to stop at the veggie section.

Dad sighed at the other side of the line, all playfulness completely gone. "Yes, honey. Just us. You do know that one day she'll also be at dinner, right?"

My stomach clenched and I clasped my lips tight. "Yeah." Just not today.

"Okay. I'll see you back at the house. And honey?"

"Yes?"

"Behave." I rolled my eyes. I could totally picture him smiling on the other side of the line.

"Bye Dad." I shook my head and shoved the phone down my back pocket as I surveyed what we'd got so far in the cart.

"Is she coming?" Nate's brows furrowed as he looked at me.

"No." I murmured faintly.

His lips set in a straight line, as he nodded. His hand encased mine for a moment before he burst out excitedly, "let's get some goodies." He wriggled his eyebrows making me laugh.

"What kind of goodies?" I walked beside him as he drove the cart through the hallways.

"I'm thinking about chips and chocolates and maybe ice-cream" he deadpanned. I raised an eyebrow while staring at him. "What? I'm still growing! I need," he grabbed two bags of chocolates, "sugar and shit."

I shook my head. "We need to get steaks."

Nate shoved me playfully, "What kind of shit do you like?" An old lady that was passing by glared at him while he smiled mischievously at her.

"I don't eat shit." I answered coyly making him raise an eyebrow. "However, I do like these" I signaled the small colored chocolates he'd gotten "and this" I grabbed a large bag of white marshmallows from the counter.

"Marshmallows?" he sounded incredulous.

"They're my favorite." I beamed at him. "But just the white ones." His eyes darkened as he gazed at me.

Slowly, he smiled back at me and grabbed three large bags. "Marshmallows, it is."

After getting chocolate chip ice-cream, we finally went to the meat section and got the steaks we needed for dinner. I tried to pay for everything, but Nate pulled me off by giving the cashier his credit card despite all complains.

He drove us home after ripping open one bag of chips for him and marshmallows for me. Even though they were my favorites, I didn't eat them often. At least I hadn't eaten any in a while probably because all the sugar and stuff. I looked down at the half-eaten marshmallow in my hand thinking how many things I'd given up trying to be cool. What a fool I had been.

The white fluffy disappeared out of my hand. "Didn't you love this things?" Nate's voice came out muffled since he'd just stuffed the sweet in his mouth. "Because we got three bags!" he made a face as he swallowed it.

"I do love them. It was just that I hadn't eaten one in a while. I was just thinking about that."

He parked in front of my house and turned to look at me. Showing me the other bags, he grinned at me, "well, you are getting back on track tonight."

His eyes were shining happily, like a little boy's. My mouth went dry as I gazed into those amazing grey eyes. I looked at his lips for a moment as I swallowed hard.

I wondered what it would be like if he kissed me. I hadn't been experienced with kisses. My whole experience consisted in kissing Tom and he hadn't been so amazing. The only time he'd kissed me like ever before was once at a party where I'd let myself let go and got quite drunk. And since he'd never kissed me like that ever before, I blamed it on the alcohol. But boy, that night was completely blurred. I only had those kisses etched in my mind.

Nate was just staring at me and I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. Biting my lip, I grabbed one of the plastic bags and opened the door to get out of the car. The air was kind of suffocating. He did the same and followed me as I unlocked the door to my house. I left the bag on the kitchen counter and started to unpack everything. Nate was taking too long, so I left the things and searched for him.

He was holding the bags in his hands while looking at a picture in the living room. As I approached him, my stomach clenched as my eyes landed on the photo.

It was Mom's. She was smiling and she looked healthy. It had been taken a few years ago.

I stared at the picture memorizing her almost curly dark hair and her vivacious brown eyes. It was such a different person from the last time I'd seen her alive. For a moment, I wondered when Dad was going to take her pictures away.

"You have her hair." Nate murmured still gazing at the photo.

"And my father's eyes," I trailed absentmindedly.

"And her smile." Nate gazed at me with a sad expression on his face. My eyes brimmed with tears. I wanted Mom to be there smiling at me like that.

His hand cupped my chin and his thumb caressed my cheek. He seemed like he wanted to say something, instead, he pulled me closer to him with his other arm. I leaned on his chest and closed my eyes for a moment as he hugged me.

A warm feeling ran through me as I stayed in his arms for a moment. Eventually, I pulled back as Nate's grey eyes bored into me. The groceries bags were at our feet. Silently, I grabbed one and walked to the kitchen.

He followed me and we both unpacked all the things. I took out a potato peeler and passed it to him with a small smile on my face. He stared at the odd instrument in his hand and my smile widened. "You're not much of a cooker, huh, Rivers?"

He gazed at me intensely. "I am a good student, Taylor."

"Well" I passed him the bag of potatoes, "you have to wash, peel and place those here." I placed a large ceramic bowl in front of him.

"Challenge accepted" he raised an eyebrow while smiling lopsidedly.

"Peeling potatoes is not that hard, Rivers." I shook my head while taking another pot out for the rest of the veggies.

Nate chuckled, "I'm going to make you sweat after dinner, Taylor" he trailed coyly still teasing me.

Blushing, I scrunched my nose and ignored his innuendo. I washed the rest of the veggies while he started to peel the potatoes. He was having a hard time and was taking forever to finish the potatoes, so I eventually took the peeler away from him and ended up doing the whole thing myself.

As I was putting them into another pot with boiling water, I gazed at Nathan. "What about your family, Nate? You never talk about them."

Nate's eyes clouded while he gazed at the boiling pot. "I don't get along with them. Especially with my father." His hand clenched in a tight fist and I had the urge to grab his hand but I clenched my own hand at my side.

"Nate, it's ok, you don't have to tell me anything.

"I had a sister." He murmured before gazing at me. Had?

I wanted to ask him more about it but his eyes, his eyes were so sad that it made my stomach churn and my blood froze.

Nate closed his eyes for a moment as I swallowed hard. That was the reason he was in so much pain. For her.

I grabbed his hand. He opened his eyes. They were still sad, but another emotion passed through them. It was really fast, I couldn't see what it was.

"I'm sorry, Nate." Even though I hated those words I meant them. I was really sorry that he had to go through something as painful as losing someone you love so much.

Especially his sister. I could tell how much he loved her and how it pained him not having her around. And it was something that he didn't want to talk about, I could tell.

He nodded and while looking at me, interlaced our hands. My heart skipped a beat as he leaned closer to me. Suddenly, the front door opened and Dad came in announcing that he'd gotten home. We pulled apart and I grabbed a wooden spoon and checked the carrots as Dad entered the kitchen. My heart was racing a mile a minute and my hand was shaking as I stirred the pot.

"Hello! You must be the infamous Nathan!" Dad greeted us and reached out his hand to Nate.

"I hope Cassie hasn't said anything bad about me, Sr."

Dad's blue eyes looked at me as I smiled nervously at him. "Let's us hope that there is nothing bad about you, boy." They shook hands and Dad walked to me. He kissed me on the cheek before surveying the steaming pots in front of me. "It smells good, guys!"

"It's all your daughter's doing, Sr. I have just followed directions."

I gazed at him surprised at the fact that he didn't seem unfazed as me. He was grinning at my father as I tried to calm my racing heart and shaking hands.

Was I imagining things, then? Maybe he wasn't about to kiss me. Although it felt like that.

My heart sunk as I took out another pan for the steaks. Dad took out the plates and glasses and he set the table on the small dining room, while asking questions to Nathan. Things like his age, how did we meet and stuff like that. Nate leaned on the door frame while answering.

Shoving any doubts and questions away, I cooked the steaks as Dad told Nate about his job at Harvard and his imaginary black belt in tae-kwon-do. I smiled at that as he told Nate about his supposed gold medals and stuff.

Overall, dinner was nice. Dad talked about baseball and I was surprised when Nathan answered him excited. Apparently, he was a big fan of the sport. They talked animatedly most of the meal, as I tried to finish my meal. I couldn't take my mind off Nate's lips and eye's and how sad he'd looked before.

We took out the ice-cream for dessert and Dad told us to get upstairs to finish homework while he cleaned up the kitchen. I led Nate to my room leaving the door open since Dad had felt the urge to create new rule overnight. It was kind of cute how he was trying to be overprotective and such.

Nathan stepped inside my room studying it for a long moment. I took out the math book and my notebook. Flipping through the pages, I frowned at my scribbling. I really had no idea what I was supposed to do. Nate was still walking around my room trying to decipher everything. I rolled my eyes at that and teased him, "are you going to explain me or not?"

Grey eyes gazed at me for a long moment, making my heart race once more. "So you really didn't pay attention, Taylor?" he shook his head mockingly, "I thought better of you."

"Shut up and help me."

Nate chuckled. We spent the next hour trying to solve all equations. He was really good at Math, I had to give it to him. It didn't seem an effort for him, at all. I, on the other hand, had to struggle to understand everything.

Especially with him so close, leaning over me to see my answers.

A little after nine, Dad called it a night and pretty much told Nate to get back to his house. In a much nicer way, of course.

I walked him out of the house with my hands in my pockets. As we stepped down the porch stairs, I grinned at him, "Thank you for helping me out with homework. And dinner."

He chuckled, "no worries. I can help you out whenever."

My heart fluttered, "Thanks."

His steps slowed down as we reached his car. "I had a great afternoon, Cass."

"Me too" I responded breathlessly as we stopped. "Nate, can I ask you something?" I leaned on my toes while glancing at the floor.

"Sure."

I looked up and bit my lip before blurting out, "Why do you have to go to therapy? Is it because you're dealing with your sister's death?" and why did I think that it had to do with the fighting, too?

Nate's grey eyes bored into me. "I have anger management issues, apparently." I nodded. It made sense, with all the fighting and stuff. I wondered if he was as sad as I'd been. It downed on me that maybe that's why he wanted me to talk about everything on the English essay.

I wanted to ask him more. A lot more.

But this was Nathan we were talking about.

He didn't like to talk about things and I had to let him be.

I just hoped that one day, he'd open up with me.

Until then, I was content letting him know that I was here.

For whenever. 

Merry Christmas!