The usual rush of energy filled my body as I finished jogging. I wondered if that's what Nathan felt like when fighting and I kind of wanted to slap myself because I just wanted to stop thinking about him.

Dad kept teasing me over breakfast but kept quiet when I told him that I'd bumped into Lucy yesterday. Sadness engulfed him and I knew exactly what he was feeling, because I felt the same.

Silently, we finished breakfast and got ready for our respective day. As we stepped out of the house, I reached him and hugged him tight. Swallowing hard, I pulled apart to find a teary smile drawn on his face. I wished him a good day before kissing him on the cheek and ambling down the street.

The usual milling and chatting from my fellow classmates surrounded me as soon as I crossed the street in front of the school. Everyone had stopped to greet me all the time, only a few people nodded my way from time to time. I actually felt relieved about it. I wasn't sporting that fake smile anymore and I guess that without it I had lost popularity or something. Which was great.

Hitching my backpack over my shoulder, I walked through the hallway to my locker to get my books for the day. My steps faltered when I found myself in front of Anne, who was about to bypass me. I didn't know if I should say hi or something.

Her green eyes didn't glare at me as they usually did. She nodded and stepped by me as I stood rooted to my place. Nodding was an improvement, I guess.

After the first classes, my backpack was getting heavier, so I stepped to my locker to leave some books there. Farah was next to me as I finished switching the books from my backpack to my locker and vice versa. "So, how was the ride home?" her blue eyes sparkled mischievously. Groaning, I closed my locker and decided to ignore her. "Did he try to swoon you away?"

Rolling my eyes, I fastened my pace. "OMG! Did he try to make a move or something?" she gasped with wide eyes.

"Chris is walking behind us." I said matter-of-factly. Farah obviously stopped and turned around beaming. My lips twitched as a smile played on my lips. He wasn't.

She slapped me playfully on the arm. "That's mean, you know?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Stop teasing me."

Farah rolled her eyes as she pushed her glasses up. She had a blue short-sleeved hoodie that brought out her eyes over a white tank top. A few blonde bangs framed her face making her look cute. Grinning, I complemented her, "you look cute, by the way."

She beamed. "Thanks! You need to show me how to braid my hair like that!" she referred to the messily fishtail that I had done in my hair since I didn't want to have it all over my face all day. "Sure," I shrugged.

"And by the way, your lover boy is coming this way," she wriggled her eyebrows as I looked around us searching for Nathan. He wasn't anywhere around.

She laughed at me. "Payback is a bitch, huh?" Her blue eyes widened innocently as she smirked. "Tom is coming this way." She raised an eyebrow before walking away.

Groaning inwardly, I took a deep breath as he reached me. "Hi, Cassie."

Remember how he never mentioned your drunk slip-up. Be nice. 

"Hey," I grinned awkwardly.

His brown eyes roamed all over my face making me feel uncomfortable "You look pretty".

I cleared my throat. "Thank you." 

I searched behind him expecting to have Marissa lurking near.

"So, I'm having a party this weekend" he started confidently, "and I'd like to see you there."

"Oh. Okay. Thank you for inviting me."

His smile morphed into a smirk. "Actually," he leaned closer to me, "I can pick you up, if you want."

As a date? I bit my lip. Inconspicuously, I took a small step back. "I appreciate it," I tried to smile at his expecting face, "but I'm still not ready to date, remember?" I murmured embarrassed. 

I kind of told you that last week, when you asked. And the week before.

His smile faded. "I'm trusting you'll let me know when you are." His eyes were serious. Too serious. Kind of frightening in a way. But this was Tom. He had been nice. I pushed those thoughts away.

"Can I ask Farah to come with?"

He shrugged. "The more the merrier. I'll see you, later then." He sauntered away. However, there was still that uneasy feeling inside of me.

Warily, I trotted to English since the bell just rang. Luckily, the teacher hadn't arrived yet. I heard Marissa talking to Meredith excitedly about Tom's party as I sat on my seat. Farah smiled knowingly and I could tell that she wanted to ask me what he wanted; but my eyes were trained on Marissa. I felt bad for not noticing that she was into Tom before and I really hoped that the guy noticed her soon.

Farah leaned into my desk. "So? What did he want?"

I opened my mouth to tell her about the party when Mrs. Clearwater, our teacher, stepped inside the classroom. "Class," she started to explain as she cleaned her glasses, "there's a State writing contest coming soon and you are all going to take part in it." A few kids groaned while I watched her expectantly. I wasn't much of a writer, but English was one of my favorite's classes and well, I was such a goner for her. She kind of reminded me of my own Grandmother. She was too cute not to pay attention to her. "So, I want you to write an essay about your summer." More groaning. I tensed and turned to look at Farah, who was eyeing me concerned. "It has to be something important, kids. No nonsense about going to the beach and stuff. Pick out something that you did that might have made a difference in you." She finished excitedly.

Staring at the dents in my desk, I frowned as I thought about it. Maybe I could write about something that didn't happen. But that was going back to the old me, the one whose life was completely fake. No. It only brought shame and guilt. I regretted so many things when I was acting out like that. Still, writing about Mom seemed too personal.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to let anyone know about it, though.

Chewing my pencil, I was deep in thought when Farah planted herself in front of me. "Are you ok?" her blue eyes watched me concerned.

Pulling the pencil away, I shrugged, "yeah."

"Are you going to write about it?" she whispered after leaning closer to me.

"I don't know." I trailed unsure.

"So what happened to you over summer?" Marissa's voice sounded behind me.

Farah and I turned to her. My best-friend was sending daggers her way as I looked at her somewhat tense. "I'm touched that you are so interested in my life Marissa." Sarcasm dripped out of every word I'd said.

Marissa's brown eyes glinted curiously. "I mean, what on earth made you fall so low, Cassandra?"

I instinctively put my hands down my desk so she wouldn't see the scars. Her eyes followed my movement and a sneer formed on her lips. "Oh. There's something, all right," she murmured completely amused at finding a touchy subject for me.

"It's not of your fucking business" Farah said through clenched teeth.

Ignoring her, Marissa eyed me for a moment and a wide smile spread on her lips. "I will find out and when I do, I'm going to make sure that everyone knows too."

Shrugging, I grabbed my backpack. "I'm touched at your sudden interest in my life Marissa but honestly, that's kind of low, even for you." I stood up. Farah followed me close as we walked out of our classroom.

"That fucking bitch," she murmured as we trotted through the hallway to the cafeteria.

"It's ok" I tried to smile at her. But in truth, it wasn't. I wasn't really sure how to feel about it yet.

We reached our spot outside and Chris was already waiting for Farah. Disappointment filled me. I kind of wanted to see Nate and that thought alone made my stomach churn.

Not wanting to be the third wheel and definitely not needing to see them kissing and such, I told them that I needed to go to the library for something. Farah wanted to protest because she seemed genuinely concerned about me but the moment Chris wrapped her arms around her and whispered something on her ear, I pretty much ran away from them.

The library was deserted. There was only the teacher and me. Grimacing, I pulled out a book I was reading back at home and tried to distract myself but after ten minutes of rereading the same page, I decided to close the damn book.

My mind kept wondering about the English essay. I thought about my classmates. Would they'd be disgusted by my attitude? I knew I was. Would they stare at me with pity? Ugh. Probably.

I didn't want that. I kind of wanted to go through this senior year ignored but I knew how resourceful Marissa could be, and I was sure she'd probably figure the whole thing out anyway. And that was it. I did not want her to tell my story from her point of view. She was so against me that I'm sure she would tweak the story to make me look even worst. If anything, I wanted to have the right to tell or not tell my story. But I guessed that was pretty much over, since she was keen on finding out about me.

I rolled my eyes. The girl obviously needed a life.

Recess ended and the next classes passed without any important event. Still, I had to admit that I did inconspicuously look out for Nathan or even Jay. I hadn't seen them in school and I wondered where they were. But when I thought about my stalking tendencies, I forced myself to stop the nonsense.

As school ended, I walked to Amanda's practice. It was too early but I didn't know what else to do, so I grabbed a salad from a nearby restaurant and sat on the park to eat my meal.

I thought about the essay.

What should I write about? Should I talk about Mom?

It seemed wrong not to be honest. The good part was that we had a couple of weeks to finish the essay and Mrs. Clearwater was going to choose the best one for the contest, so there was a chance that she wouldn't choose my story.

Only the best ones would be read to the class. Maybe I could write in an awful manner so it wouldn't be chosen. Again, it didn't feel right to be dishonest. Ugh.

Looking at my phone's clock, I rolled my eyes since there were still fifteen minutes for my therapy session but I was kind of bored by looking at the kids playing around, so I packed everything and walked to Amanda's office. Since she didn't have a waiting room, I sat on the floor and leant my head on the wall, while closing my eyes. The minutes passed before her door finally screeched open.

My heart started to race as I found myself gazing at the mysterious Nathan Rivers. A small smile played on his lips as he took me in. I hadn't actually seen him at school and I kind of hated to admit that it bothered me. But I really didn't want to act out as a stalker, so I hadn't asked Chris about him after recess. Even though, I had been dying too.

"Taylor" He nodded with that deep husky voice of him. Today he was wearing a bright blue t-shirt and ripped jeans, giving him somewhat of a rock thing going on. And well, he was actually rocking it.

"River" I smiled before grabbing everything to get up from the floor. His hand encased mine making my heart flutter as he pulled me up. I kind of wanted to ask him why he hadn't been at school, but I was pretty sure that he'd probably mock me without actually answering, so I bit my lip not knowing what else to do.

Amanda's hazel eyes were studying the whole scene. A knowing smile played on her lips as she saw me looking at her and nodded after stepping aside to let me get in her office.

"Have a good day," I trialed and kind of wanted to slap myself because that was so pathetic and completely embarrassing. Nate smirked. He didn't say anything but let go of my hand and walked past me.

Blushing, I took a seat on my designated sofa at Amanda's office. She smiled and took a seat on her couch. She asked me a couple of questions and I told her how I felt about meeting Lucy and about Dad's future marriage. She heard me like she always did, commenting on a few things, but she seemed kind of distracted. She kept looking at her watch and she was smiling too much. At some point, after she checked her watch for the twentieth time I stopped talking altogether.

Amanda's hazel eyes turned to me expectantly. "Yes?"

"Do you have to go somewhere?" I blurted out and my eyes widened at my boldness. I mean, Amanda was really nice, but that had come out snappy.

She smiled knowingly at me. "I'm sorry, I am a bit distracted. But I have listened to you, and I honestly think that you should go for it."

"Huh?"

"The essay!" she shook her head. "See? I was listening!" she smiled before adding, "I think writing about your experience might be therapeutically good for you. If you do it, please let me read it." She got up and started to put everything away. I peeked at my phone to see the time and we still had half an hour. "Sometimes it's easier to write the things that we feel, than to actually voice them. And I think something good might come out of it." She beamed at me and gave me my pink hoodie.

Gosh. She really wants me out of here.

I grabbed it in silence and as I reached for my backpack, Amanda's voice sounded behind me. "I'm glad you're making new friends Cassie. You deserve to be happy" her hazel eyes watched me warmly as she opened the door.

My brows were furrowed as I murmured, "thanks." I guess.

"Cassie?" She grabbed my arm as I was passing next to her. "Unofficially, I wanted to thank you."

"For what?" I tilted my head completely confused. I was actually starting to believe that I was the mentally sane person here.

"Whatever you're doing to Nathan, please don't stop." Her eyes sparkled excitedly. "Today was the first time in a year that he opened up to me and I know it's because of you."

Surprise washed over me. "I haven't done anything," I stuttered shocked.

She chuckled, "oh you have. The guy's been waiting for you outside." Her eyes turned to one of the large windows that overlooked the park. Following her gaze, I saw Nate's truck parked around the corner. A small cloud of smoke behind it. My heart started to race. He was there, all right.

"I'm sorry if I seemed distracted. I'm just too excited to see so much improvement in Nathan!"

My heart was full-on fluttering mode knowing that he was waiting for me, so I really didn't know what to say to that. Amanda's eyes watched me knowingly as she gestured me to leave. As I walked outside the building, I couldn't help but wonder if she was right.

Did I actually have something to do with it?

Nate stood up as he heard me approach and threw his cigarette to the floor before stepping on it. His grey eyes watched me for a moment before a small smile played on his lips.

"Your stalking tendencies have no precedents, Rivers," I quipped.

He grinned at my words. Shrugging, he murmured "You're out early." He frowned as my heart skipped a beat.

"Amanda had somewhere to go." We both turned to her window and there she was beaming at us. I rolled my eyes. Talk about being discreet.

"Great," Nate whispered by my ear sending shivers down my spine. He walked around his car to open the door for me. "I'm hungry" he shrugged.

"You're always hungry." I raised an eyebrow.

"True." He smiled as I climbed inside the car. My eyes turned to Amanda's office once again. She was still there. I waved at her blushing as Nate hopped in.

"Did you eat?" Nate asked as his engine roared to life.

"A salad."

He turned to me. "Are you one of those girls who only eat salads?" he raised an eyebrow making me chuckle.

"No. I just haven't been hungry lately."

"Tsk. We may need to work on that," he trailed to himself, me making my heart flutter even faster.

He drove us to a hamburger fast food restaurant and got a large order for him and a chocolate sundae for me. Then, he took us to the city limits. He parked his car and told me to follow him. Hesitantly, I followed him through a small dirt path. It was really dark and all but I felt completely safe around him. We walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes. When we reached a rocky mountain, he grabbed my hand and helped me reach the top.

My lips parted as I took in the view. It was such an incredible scenery. The dark sky was completely drowned in little twinkling stars that contrasted with the distant large buildings from the city.

"You like it?" Nate asked beside me, still holding my hand.

"It's breathtaking" I whispered excitedly.

Little tingles played in my hand as I turned to gaze at him. Nathan's grey eyes were piercing for a moment before he took a deep breath. Slowly, his hand pulled away from mine as we needed both hands to take a seat on the rocks. He passed me the sundae that he'd been carrying in his paper tray.

"Thank you" I murmured before grabbing a spoonful of the delicious ice-cream. After a moment of silence, I glanced at him, "so, where were you today?"

He placed a hand on his chest, "I'm really touched at the fact that you missed me so much." His eyes sparkled mischievously.

Rolling my eyes, I turned away. Ugh. I knew this would happen. Plus, he didn't answer me. "Why do you always do that?" I asked somewhat frustrated.

"Do what?" he feigned innocence.

"Whatever," I muttered annoyed.

Nate chuckled. "It's to make things interesting" he murmured after a moment of silence.

You are interesting, I wanted to say. Way too interesting. But I bit my lip instead.

Gazing at the distance for a moment, I blurted out cringing, "my dad's getting married." Sighing, I swirled the ice-cream while barely whispering, "with my mom's best friend."

Nate choked on his soda, making a mess. I chuckled as I passed him a paper napkin while he looked at me concerned. "That's," he trailed not wanting to finish his sentence.

"Fucked up." I finished for him while he started to clean the mess.

His mouth twitched and a small smile played on his lips, "pretty much." His grey eyes sternly gazed at me. "How do you feel about it?" he asked as he ran a hand through his hair.

My eyes followed the movement in silence. I sort of itched to run my hand through his hair. My heart fluttered. I gazed at the distance because looking at him was confussing.  

Scrunching up my nose, I went on, "well, Dad didn't ask for my opinion." Warily, I added "I know it's messed up" I bit my lip while rubbing one of my scars, "but I kind of get it, you know?" His whole attention was on me, "I know Dad. He's the least selfish person ever. He took care of my grandmother despite the fact that Mom and her never got along, but he was the one in charge of her and then when my mom got sick," my tone softened, "well, he took care of her as well. He never complained or anything, he kept going, day after day, even after Mom got too sick, he was there for her." A pang of guilt played on my stomach and I closed my eyes for a moment. "So, if he wants to move on, he needs to be with someone. I know that and Mom knew that, that's why she always told them to end up together." A shaky breath left my lips as Nate's warm hand encased mine. My eyes turned to our hands as my voice was barely a whisper, "he has every right to be selfish. He earned it."

Nate's thumb started making soothing circles on the back of my hand. Even though this was such a hard subject, his touch was making my stomach churn uneasily.

We stayed in silence once again. That was one of the things that I liked about Nathan. We didn't need to talk all the time. We could be just ourselves and that was fine with the other person. There was no need to impress or try to be nice or anything.

Nonetheless his hand on mine was making me feel all tingly.

Swallowing hard and trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach, I asked him "did you hear about the English essay?"

Nate snorted, "yeah." He rolled his eyes, "talk about a lame subject." Lame for you, I thought sourly.

"Well, I've been thinking about it all day. I'm not sure if I want to talk about my summer, you know?" His hand froze. His gaze was intense, too. I shrugged, trying to ignore his burning stare. "I'm not sure that anyone wants to hear about it but," I rolled my eyes, "Marissa is keen on finding out about it and I'm sure that she'll manage to know everything."

His hand left mine leaving my skin soaring wherever he touched me. "You shouldn't care about what other people think. Especially her."

"I don't. But I also don't want her to be telling my story from her point of view, you know?" He nodded. "I mean, it's not like anyone actually cares about my summer, anyway. But I have to share how I felt and everything, I rather tell it myself."

"It feels like a big thing, huh?"

"Amanda said that it would be good for me," I shrugged while he smirked.

"Figures." He shook his head.

For a moment, his eyes clouded with a different emotion and he seemed really sad. I tilted my head trying to get a better look at him since it was kind of dark and all. "You should write about it" he voiced after a moment of hesitation. His voice was raw with emotion and his eyes were shining too brightly and I my stomach clenched for him. 

There was more to it than what he was letting me see. And that's when it hit me that I barely knew him.

"Nate?" I whispered sadly after he turned away.

He cleared his throat. "We don't know who could be going through a hard time and knowing that you're not alone might help."

I wanted to ask him so many things but I just didn't want to push him. If he wanted to share something with me, he would. If he ever felt like. I, more than anyone, knew that sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself. Even if it hurts you.

Plus, he was right. It was one of the things that pulled me to him. Or that pushed Dad to Marie. People need to know they are not alone.

Biting my lip, my heart flipped as I reached out for his hand, "you know this works both ways, right?"

He gazed at me intensely for a moment before he interlaced his hand with mine, making my heart flutter like crazy. "What do you mean?" he whispered huskily before clearing his throat.

"I'm here for you. "I swallowed hard, "If you ever want to talk, I'm here."

My lips parted as he leaned closer to me. "I know" he whispered by my ear making my skin form goose bumps as he pulled away. "It's time to go." He said before helping me get up. We grabbed our things and walked to the car hand in hand.

And my stupid stomach was making me feel weird as my heart was racing the whole time. 

:) 

I love how Nate and Cassie interact, and they're right. People need to know they're not alone. It's in human's nature. And to be honest, we're never alone. Even if you feel sad or depressed, you can always reach out to someone. Always. 

Love,