Raindrops rolled down my cheek. My breathing was coming out in pants as I pushed myself harder. My legs were cramping and my feet were tired. I needed that. I wanted to feel the natural kick I always felt after jogging. Pushing myself harder always made me feel better. I wanted to feel better. I was tired of being angry or sad. Or both.

Sleep hadn't been easy last night. Nathan's words were etched in my mind. I knew he said that because he was furious at me; they just hurt deeper because they were true. We both knew that.

When I felt like my legs couldn't go any further, I slowed the pace and walked home. The light rain tapped against my skin but it felt refreshing after all the exercise. Dad was still asleep as I closed the main door and stepped inside the kitchen. I made him coffee before climbing upstairs to take a shower.

After getting dressed with a pair of light denim jeans, a coral tank top and a see-through beige sweater, I walked to the kitchen for breakfast. Dad was already up and sipping his coffee, while reading the newspaper on his tablet.

"Hey kiddo, how are you?" his blue eyes watched me concerned. He'd been worried after I told him about Marissa's little outburst at school.

"I'm fine." Ignoring his worried eyes, I took out a bowl, pouring cereal and milk. As usual, I wasn't really hungry. Still, I needed to eat something. For Dad's sake, at least.

"Did you sleep at all?" his hands were encasing the coffee mug as he gazed at me. I shook my head. There was no point in denying the dark circles under my eyes. "I'm going to talk to White about all of this." His eyes clouded for a moment, "Do you want to stay home today?"

"No." I played with my spoon while looking at my bowl, "I don't care about Marissa."

"That girl will have to suffer some serious consequences after her stunt."

"Dad." His blue eyes stared at me. "I really don't care about her."

Dad's forehead formed an irregular line as he cupped his chin, "What's going on then?"

My lips were pressed as I left the spoon hanging on the edge of the bowl. "It's," I cringed for a moment, "it's about Nathan."

His eyes narrowed. "What about him?" His whole stance tensed.

"He's mad at me." I frowned. I don't even know why.

"Was he disrespectful to you?"

I gestured him to stop by raising a palm. "No. He's angry because he has this thing for Tom and I kind of stood up for him."

Dad's lips tugged up on a small smile. His shoulders relaxed and he started up his tablet once again. "Could he be more obvious?"

Frowning, I stared at him, "What do you mean?"

The smirk on his face widened. "He's jealous."

Sighing, I shook my head. "He's not." Why would anyone want to be with someone as fucked up as me?

His blue eyes assessed me for a moment. A sad look crossed his eyes as if he was reading my thoughts. "Are you seeing Amanda tonight?"

"Yeah." I frowned at my mushy cereal and forced myself to eat it as fast as I could.

"You can stay home if you like, you know?" Dad added as I got up and left the dirty bowl on the sink.

I shook my head as I washed my plate. "I'm fine." And I kind of want to see Nathan and talk to him.

What if he didn't want to talk to me, though? Sadly, he'd been right. I had lived in this stupid little bubble, not caring about anyone else.

Forcing a small smile, I glanced at my father for a moment. He was still looking at me with that sad expression on his face. "I'm okay, Dad." I kissed him on the cheek. He nodded not quite convinced and I walked upstairs to brush my teeth and dab some gloss on my lips.

The walk to school was excruciatingly slow.

Why is it that when you want time to pass it actually seems to slow down?

As I came closer to the old buildings, I remembered about Anne. Shit. I had completely forgotten about her. She probably wouldn't want to even talk to me anymore.

Since it was too early, school was pretty much deserted. I walked to my locker and took out my books. A few classmates started to appear on the hallways. But I didn't actually talk to anyone, so I leaned on my homeroom's door waiting for the teacher to open the door. Finally, after waiting for almost fifteen minutes, Mr. Fischer, our homeroom and History teacher, unlocked the door and I was finally able to get inside the classroom.

Wondering if Anne still had the same phone number, I sent her a text as I waited for other students to arrive. I didn't have her number on my phone, but I didn't need it. I'd known it by heart since she never changed her number since junior high. A moment later, my phone buzzed.

Heard about M. She sucks. It's ok. We can hang out today. Meet up at the same place?

Typing a smiley face and a thumbs-up, a goofy smile drew on my face. When we'd been best-friends, we used to hang out at the library, pretty much all the time. We had our kind of special couch. Nobody would sit on it but us. To be fair, the couch wasn't comfortable at all and had an odd smell. Nothing unbearable, though. We rejoiced on the fact that it was exclusively ours.

The first two classes passed by like usual. Dread and worry accompanied me as I walked through the hallway towards Math.

I wanted to see Nathan but I didn't know how to react at his sight. My steps slowed down as I approached the classroom. My heart was racing as I opened the door. Anne's red hair was the first thing I saw as I entered the room. Waving at her, I willed my eyes to look at her but it was pointless. As I approached her, I noticed that neither Nate nor Chris had arrived.

"Hey" I greeted her.

"Hi Cassie!" she grinned at me. "Did you have fun yesterday?"

My stomach churned as I replayed Nathan's hurtful expression on his face. "Kind of." I shrugged as my eyes turned towards his empty seat.

Her smile faltered and she tilted her head questioningly. Ignoring her look, I forced a smile and walked to my desk. "I'll see you later, ok?"

"Sure." She nodded bemused.

The door opened at that moment and both our eyes snapped at it.

My breath caught in my throat as a couple of girls walked in. They were both smiling and talking to each other but as we were both looking at them, they looked at us confused and started to whisper quietly among each other.

I breathed out deeply. Anne's curious stare was burning holes in my head but I kept ignoring her.

Trying to distract myself, I took out my notebook and started to draw doodles on an empty page. I really got into it and when I finished, the class was already starting. Surreptitiously, I looked behind me since I hadn't felt the usual bump when someone sat behind me.

He wasn't there. Neither was Chris.

Sighing, I looked at my drawing and my heart sank. It was an eye. An intense looking grey eye. I started at it for a moment before ripping out the page and crushed it into a paper-ball.

Shit. Where was he?

Was he so angry at me that he'd miss class?

I shook my head. Of course he isn't. You would have to actually mean something for him to do something like that. Maybe he's sick or he just didn't feel like dealing with me anymore.

My shoulders slumped. I was glad our teacher didn't ask me anything because I hadn't even copied down whatever gibberish he'd written on the blackboard. As the bell finally rang, I hurriedly left the room to find Farah.

She was waiting for me at my locker. Her blonde hair and dark glasses gave it away. "Hi!" she smiled but I it didn't reach her eyes.

"Hey." I was dying to ask her about Nate but I didn't want to seem desperate. "How are you?"

She moved out of my way as I opened the locker's door. Her blue eyes studied me for a moment, before blurting out, "ask away, Cassie."

Biting my lip, I focused on grabbing my English book. Slowly, I closed the locker. "What happened?"

She shook her head. Her eyes hardened. "He's an ass."

Bleakly, I glanced at her. "He didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Farah rolled her eyes, "I knew that's exactly what you were going to say." We started to walk towards English as she added, "so does him."

Grabbing her arm, I stopped her. "What do you mean?"

Warily, she averted her blue eyes. "He's..."

"He's what?" I asked gravely.

A haunted expression clouded her face. "I'm not supposed to say anything."

"Farah." I pushed her. "You're scaring me."

Her shoulders tensed. Cringing, she murmured, "He's beating himself for it."

"You mean figuratively?"

Paled, she shook her head while looking down, "He's not beating himself exactly."

He's fighting. "Shit Farah." How could you let him do that to himself? I closed my mouth because I didn't want to hurt her. Knowing Nathan, I knew that there was nothing that they could have done to prevent it. Swallowing hard, I asked tightly, "Where is he?"

Farah looked at me pained. "I don't know."

My stomach sank. "Is Chris with him?" she nodded and I could see how worried she was. "He's an idiot," I murmured completely panicked.

What was going on with him? Where was he? Was he all right? Fuck.

"Can you call them?"

Her blue eyes brimmed with tears, "Chris doesn't pick up his phone." I reached out for her and hugged her for a moment.

"I'm sorry Farah."

"Why would you?" she pulled away as the class was about to start. "It's your stupid's boyfriend fault that they are who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what!"

"He's not, "I started to say but stopped as she was glaring at me with deathly eyes. Sullen, I took a deep breath. "We can't skip school."

"And I don't know where they are." She whispered frustrated and worried at the same time.

We looked at each other and grimaced before entering our class. I took my usual seat but I just couldn't think of anything else but Nathan.

Please, let him be okay. Please don't let him get hurt.

Lunch arrived and we met Anne on the library. However, both Farah and I were a complete mess. We sort of explained Anne about it and she looked at us sympathetically. Frowning, she added, "Why don't you ask their other friend about it?"

Quizzically, we looked at her for a moment. What other friend? Farah and I glanced at each other as we both blurt out, "Jay!"

"Have you seen him today?" I asked Anne as she looked at us as if we were crazy.

She shrugged, "We just had Spanish."

"Oh my God! I love you Anne!" Farah blurted out and hugged her. Anna's eyes were wide as she patted Farah awkwardly on the back.

"Farah, let's go. Let's find him." I carried both our backpacks as she let Anne go. "Thank you" I smiled at the slightly panicked red-head.

"Last time I saw him, he was walking to the cafeteria" Her green eyes glanced at us both, "I'll come with you."

Farah gazed at me grinning. Oh. Anne just got herself a new friend.

She walked with us to the cafeteria but Jay wasn't there. We looked for him over the garden, where we usually sat but there was no sight of him.

I could tell that Farah was freaking out since she started to chew on her nails. And I knew how she was feeling. I was panicking as we searched through school.

The bell rang again and we all took our separate ways to our classes. But I couldn't think of anything else but Nathan. Where the hell was he?

I knew that he wasn't where they usually had fights. Last week, Mr. White had closed permanently the back door. Some kid had been beaten badly during school's hours and according to rumors, they were suing the school.

School finished and we still hadn't found Jay.

Farah called her mom and told her that we had a lab report to do, so she was coming home with me; and Anne was still helping us find him. Hopeless, we descended the school's stairs completely discouraged.

"There he is!" Anne cried out pulling one of my sleeves. She was right. Jay was walking down the parking lot, towards his beat-up truck. I set off running after him. Farah and Anne behind me.

"Jay!" I shouted his name. His shoulders tensed and he fastened his pace, ignoring me. I pushed myself harder and reached him as he was closing his car's door. Bumping his window, I gestured him to roll it down but his eyes gazed at me sympathetically before starting his car.

Panicking, I placed myself in front of the car with both palms on the hood. Jay rubbed his temples and closed his eyes for a second before turning off his car. He stepped down rubbing his neck. "Cassie."

"What's going on Jay? Where is he? Is he okay?"

He sighed, "I don't know, guys." Farah and Anne reached us. "I'll find out and I'll text you."

My breath caught in my throat. He didn't know anything? This was bad. "I'm going with you."

His brown eyes widened. "No, you're not!"

My eyes narrowed. Determination washed over me as I ran to the passenger's door and I got inside his car. Jay rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I'm not moving until you take me there, Jay." I warned him. "And even if you don't take me, I'm going to go looking out for them and that's going to be worst since I'd be wandering through the most dangerous places until I find them."

"Ugh. All right!" He huffed exasperated, "but I'm not taking all of you!" he said to Anne and Farah who were about to protest. His eyes turned to me as he stepped inside, "one whiny girl is enough," he murmured to himself as he started up the car.

"You have to take Farah, Jay. She's worried to death." I swallowed hard, "Please."

"Fuck." He glared at the distance. "I'm dead, anyway," he frowned. "Get in blondie, we don't have all afternoon!" Farah smiled gratefully at me as she hopped on the back. Anne stayed behind. However, she was deeply concerned. I promised to text her.

The whole ride was tense. The silence was unbearable. I wanted to ask him so many things; I'm sure Farah felt the same. But Jay was so tense that I was sure that he didn't know what was going on. That was the scariest part.

He parked on the skirts of the city. An old warehouse was in front of us. There was no one outside, yet there were quite a few cars parked outside. The place had a dangerous air. The walls were grey and not well-kept. We could hear people shouting and screaming.

My skin formed goose bumps and my heart caught in my throat as we stepped down the car. Farah's blue eyes were wide and frightful. I grabbed her hand and we walked together towards the entrance. Jay started to open the door when he turned to us, "stay close to me, okay?" We both nodded.

Farah's hold tightened and I swallowed hard as we stepped through the small door. Human stench pounced on us. The whole place was packed with people. Mostly men. There were few girls but they seemed older; most of them were dressed in black leather outfits and had more than two piercings or tattoos covering their bodies.

Men of different ages crowded up the place. Jay walked in front of us and we followed him, struggling to pass in between the mass of men. More than a few leered over us and a few more watched us slyly. Swallowing hard, I pressed myself closer to Jay as we mingled with the crowd.

Finally, we reached the so-called stage. It was pretty much a clear in the middle of the room. There was a fight going on and my heart sank as I saw Nate being beat up by an older guy. His white t-shirt was bloody and he had a nasty cut on his right brow. His face had little cuts and a large bruise on his left cheek. The guy was towering over him and was clenching his fist as Nate was grabbing his stomach.

With all my force, I shoved Jay away placing myself in between Nathan and the other guy. The man was ready to punch Nate on the face. On my sight, he froze as I swallowed hard. He was older than us. A dragon tattoo peeked out of his neck. He was bigger and muscled than Nathan. His dark blond hair was tousled from the fight and his eyes ran across me slyly. I swallowed hard as panic washed over me.

Nathan grabbed me by the waist and pulled me behind him. He glanced at me for a moment before he stared at his opponent. His grey eyes were blazing with fury. "What the fuck are you fucking doing here?" he said through clenched teeth as he got ready to fight.

"Who is you pretty friend, Rivers?" The guy was trying to get a better look at me. Nathan tensed.

The men were shouting for the fight to go on as Nathan snapped, "she's no one." My stomach plummeted to the floor and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.

"Really?" The guy leered at me and raised his palms silencing the crowd. "If she's no one, then you won't mind me talking to her, do you?"

Nathan's jaw clenched. "I came here to fight, not to see you flirt."

The other guy laughed. "I'm calling it a night if she talks to me."

"Nate" I pressed a palm on his back, "I can talk to him." I honestly just wanted the fight to end. Nathan looked bruised as it was.

"Fuck you, Williams." He said through clenched teeth.

The man raised an eyebrow. He blew a fist on Nate's face but he dodged and punched him on the stomach. The man fell and Nate grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. Jay, Chris and Farah were next to us a moment later. We ran outside of the warehouse and hopped inside Jay's truck as a few men emerged cursing and shouting.

Jay started up the car and raced away.

"What the fuck, Jay?" Nate shouted as we were out of sight.

"She stood up in front of my car, dude! What was I supposed to do?" My heart sank. He really didn't want to see me. I glanced at Farah but she was too busy examining her boyfriend.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Nate snapped at me. His grey eyes were still blazing and my stomach churned at his bruised face.

My breathing was coming out in pants and the adrenaline was still pumping my heart. Glaring him, with both palms, I pushed him on the chest. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Are you fucking stupid?" His jaw was clenched and I literally felt like he'd punched me in the heart again.

"Fuck you, Rivers." I snapped. "Jay, could you please drop me at my house?"

Jay glared at Nathan through the rearview mirror before nodding at me, "Sure."

Crossing my arms, I gave Jay my address, turning away from Nathan. My eyes brimmed with tears as I looked at the other side.

The car ride was in silence as we drove towards my house. Fifteen minutes later, Jay stopped. Nathan got out of the car and I passed him without a word. He closed the door and bumped the door twice. Jay's car roared up to life and they drove away.

Angry and hurt, I stomped to my house when Nathan's hand softly grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry, Cassie," he trailed sadly. "I'm an ass, I know, but it was the last place I ever thought I'll see you at."

I turned to him. My eyes were still breaming with tears. "You are an idiot! What were you thinking?" I shoved him once again on the chest as his grey eyes stared at me, "That was the most stupid stunt you could ever do!"

His hands cupped my cheeks as he crushed his lips into mine.