p r e v i o u s l y:

"Want to get lunch soon?" I ask, pulling the box that she had half-emptied towards myself.

"Geez, Alex, if I didn't know any better," she motioned to the letters piled on my bed, "then I'd think you were asking me out."

"Ha ha. She says as she sorts through love letters to a dude from me," I deadpan. "Is that a yes?"

"Wait," she pauses dramatically, setting down the page she held in her hand. "Love?"

I blush. Of course I don't love him, not yet, anyways. I've never loved a single human in all of my life, how could I love this stranger that I barely knew? "Of course not, Peggy. I mean, could I see myself loving him? Sure. But not today. Yes to lunch? I'm buying."

"Why didn't you start with that? Obviously, I'm in."

-

Alexander POV:
[im gonna be editing it all into Alex's pov soon but for now I'll still clarify]

We're an odd pairing to be strolling the streets of New York together-Peggy and I, that is. Her with her sort of shy, sort of not personality, and me with my inability to cope with social interaction... We're a sight for sore eyes.

"But then I realized that my shorts were on backward, and that's why Angelica and Eliza were laughing!" As Peggy concludes another one of her stories of her and her sisters, I think of a question to bombard her with.

"Peggy? Can I ask you a question?" I ask slowly.

"You just did, didn't you?"

I roll my eyes at her and continue. "I mean, like, a different question. Deeper."

She nods, so I begin. "The only things you say about your family is that they're good to you. What does that mean?"

She sets down her coffee but doesn't say anything, her face showing signs of confusion even I can pick up.

"I mean," I say quickly. "You never talk about your parents or anything bad that's happened in your family... Your family is either perfect, which I highly doubt, or so terrible you only talk about the great stuff. Sorry if I'm pushing too hard here, but I thought of it and can't stop thinking."

Peggy sighs and thinks for a minute, before motioning to me to follow her.

We walk down the street side by side as she begins to speak.

"My original thought was to take you to Albany, to see where I grew up. But that's too far away, so we're walking to Central Park to talk. Here's some backstory on my family if you don't already know; my father is Philip Schuyler, he was a general in the army and is now a senator. My sister Angelica is basically expected by him to  climb the social ladders in this town, since he never had any male children. Although Angelica is favored for events and social gatherings to represent our family, Eliza is easily his favorite of us three- he doesn't even deny it. I'm the one that's almost always left out, except not really. I don't know if that makes any sense..." By then, we had made it to Century Park and Peggy led me to a bench.

"When I say that they're good to me, I mean that they were never mean, per say. They didn't leave me out purposefully or anything, but I was always sort of treated as just the youngest. At gatherings everyone would tell me to pass on compliments to my sister, or ask me how proud I was of them. My acheivements were overshadowed by theirs, that kind of thing. It's no big deal, really."

I sigh, trying to think of the best way to comfort her. "It is a big deal, Peg. I know that you live them and I'm sure it's returned, but that kind of treatment leaves an impact on your life! You are a smart, wonderful, talented Schuyler sister-who cares that you're the third?! This may be harder than it sounds, but I think you need to train yourself to make sure people treat you right. Ain't nobody gonna take my Pegster down!"

-

jlaurensintheplacetobe: Alex, can we talk?

I glance down at my phone when it buzzes, obviously. What kind of millennial would I be if I wasn't phone-obsessed?

Peggy and I had headed back to mine and Maria's dorm, to be met with a note on the counter saying that she and Aaron had planned a date that she had forgotten about and saying that she was sorry to Peggy.

"So, are Aaron and Maria, like, getting pretty serious?" Peggy asked, shuffling through my letters once again.

Typing a quick reply to John, I tell her, "I don't really know, Maria and I haven't had our bonding sessions in a while. Why, you interested in him?"

Peggy snorted as her eyes scanned a page, tossing it into the no box. "As if I'd ever be into that hot mess of a guy, even if he is hot. No, I was leaning more towards..."

"Alex! I'm home!" Maria sing-songed loudly through their dorm. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then we can hang, okay?"

Peggy smiled to herself and motioned with her head towards our connecting bathroom. Once we heard the shower running, I leaned into her and whispered, "Maria? You're into... Her?!"

My phone buzzed in my back pocket to signal someone calling me, but Peggy's news was more pressing at this point.

She nodded, putting her finger to her lips in a shush motion.

"You're gay?!?" I almost screamed.

"Pansexual, and shush!" Maria giggled.

"This is shocking news for me as your gay best friend!! I'm almost offended now!"

Peggy was full out laughing by then, sitting on my bed. As she laughed I pulled out my phone and noticed the missed call from John.

"Um, can you give me a sec? I have to call John back." I said, holding my phone and striding to the door. Peggy shot me a thumbs up, waving a letter around with her other hand.

jlaurensintheplacetobe: call me back, k?

I stepped into the hallway and leaned against the wall, pressing redial.

"Hey, Alex, I'm stressing out... Remember that wedding you said you'd go to? Yeah, so, it's tomorrow. Can you, um, meet me in my room soon? As soon as possible, please?" John said. I could tell he was pacing, even through the phone.

"John, hi. Of course I'll be there. Should I bring anything?"

"Um, we're going to have to drive all night to get to the wedding. So bring your suit. Or wear it. Okay, be here ASAP. God, I'm so stressed. I need you." He hung up.

"I need you."

I smiled like a maniac until I was back inside my dorm room, met with a Maria with the same smile and a Peggy looking at her with a love struck gaze.

"Roomie, I didn't know you and Peg knew each other. What a pleasant surprise!" Maria said, glancing between Peggy and I.

I looked down at my phone quickly - "I need you." - and said to Maria as fast as humanly possible, "I'm sorry M I'm going to need to raincheck on our roommate night John needs me and I need to tell him something and we're going to a wedding and could one of you please take me to his dorm?"

-

"Are you sure you have those three letters we decided on?" Peggy grilled me, driving down the empty streets of campus to get me to John's dorm.

"Yes, very sure. I don't know if I'm ready for this!"

"Stop panicking, Alex!" Maria turns around from her passenger seat. "He likes you, you know this. The only thing to be nervous about is.. okay, nothing! You have absolutely nothing to worry about, man!"

"Okay, yeah, you're right." I breathe slowly, pulling myself back together.

"Glad you realized it, because we're here."

"Oh shit, I'm totally not ready."

"Alex, do you need another Maria-style pep talk? Just go in there, tell him how you feel, and kiss the living daylights out of him! And the dead ones too, while you're at it!" Peggy says, pulling over to the sidewalk. "Go!"

I nod to myself, pepping myself up. I open the door and step out, looking up at his building that I'd been in so many times before.

"I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. I. Need. You."

"I need you too!" I nothing short of yell as I walk into John's room not a minute later.

He was pacing, as I had presumed. His hair was disheveled, his dress shirt partially unbuttoned halfway down his chest, untied neck tie in his hands.

His pacing brings himself over to me. "If I was sane and calm right now, I wouldn't have the guts to do this." John then flips the tie so it's around my neck and smoothly closes the door while pushing me up against it. And finally, in one glorious moment that feels like it lasts a lifetime, his lips press against mine, exploding every single firework ever made and then some.

"I need you."

-

Fin

Ahahahahahah just kidding don't murder me:)

We are close to the end though. I'm going to start editing soon, to make it all into Alex's point of view (clarifys things and makes it overall easier to read) as well as to add detail and clean up some weird plot points

Sorry I suck at updating, but luckily classes for me are over until late July ish I believe so I'll be able to update more often.

Have any of you guys watched riverdale!???? I'm rewatching it right now I'm so obsessed

I love you all so much, hamfam.

Xoxo,
Gossip girl