Hope stood, stiller than a statue, in front of the closed casket. Her face ached from how much crying she had done in the last few days. She wasn’t quite sure she’d gotten feeling back since that phone call. Nothing felt quite right anymore. The cold didn’t bite as much. The heat didn’t sting anymore. Everything felt dull and distant. 

People talked around her. She wasn’t sure if they were talking to her or not. She couldn’t even be sure if it was her friends or not. She wasn’t sure of anything until Landon set his hand on her arm. 

“It’s time to sit,” Landon whispered. Hope turned. Somehow, everyone else had gotten that message except for her. She wasn’t sure when they had stopped talking, but now she stood at the front of a silent room with all eyes on her. 

“Sorry.” She scurried to her spot. It felt like every passing minute was an hour. Their voices droned on, and Hope just wanted to leave. She wanted to pay her respects to Rafael, of course she did - she knew she really didn’t have a choice about showing up or not - but god did she want to be anywhere but this funeral.

It was like it couldn’t end fast enough, but then there she was, standing with her palm against the lid of Rafael’s casket, soaking up her last chance to ever be this close to him again - well, his mangled corpse anyways. 

It was gruesome. She had caught a glimpse of it when she shouldn’t have. Landon told her to wait for him while he went in, clinging to the last little hope that maybe it was someone who just looked like his brother and Rafael was out there safe and sound somewhere. But no. It was Rafael’s bloodied and shredded body on that table. 

Looked like a mugging, Matt had said, but Rafael didn’t have anything to take. His phone and wallet were still on him - although both were pretty empty just by his nature. We’re going to find out who did this, Mrs. Mikaelson.

They fucking better.

Hope yanked her hand back, balling it into a fist at her side. Because if the police couldn’t find who did this, that left only one person who could. 

“Come on.” Landon took her hand. “There’s a dinner being held down the road.”

“By who?” Hope barked out. She wiped at the tears that escaped when she did. 

“Our old foster parents.” 

“Ha!”

Landon knew by the way his wife pulled up all her height that she was about to say something - something right but probably very loud while they were still within earshot. 

“Not today,” he said. “Please. Just not today.”

When Hope spoke again, it was quieter. “Would I be the worst person in the world if I skipped it?” 

“Not at all.” Landon sighed. As much as he wanted his wife to be there for him at his brother’s funeral dinner, he could tell she wasn’t doing okay. Sitting through the funeral has taken enough out of her. “But I’m going, and I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’ll go.” Lizzie stepped forward, placing a hand on Hope’s shoulder. “Food is the last thing I want to think about anyways.”

She still hadn’t gotten an early refill on her meds and it seemed by the time all the red tape and paperwork would be finished, she’d be on track to pick up next month’s anyways. Now, she was irritable and irrational and either starving or nauseous at the thought of food. Today was a nauseous day.

“Stay safe,” Landon said with a final kiss on Hope’s temple before he caught up with Josie and MG. 

Lizzie tucked her hand in Hope’s, right where Landon had let go. “Where do you want to go? No judgements whatsoever.”

Hope gnawed on her lower lip as she considered it. “The hospital.”

Lizzie sat in the passenger seat, bouncing her legs and pulling at the skin around her nails as Hope steered them out of the parking lot.

“He loved you, you know,” Lizzie said after a long stretch of silence.

Hope turned her head to look at her. “What?”

“Rafael. I know we all kinda ended on … bad terms with him, but he loved you.”

“You guys didn’t end on bad terms with him. I did.” It was true. His fight was with her. He went home early because of her. Somebody attacked him because of her.

“Is it because he loved you in another way?” 

“What?” Hope hit the brakes a little hard, stopping twenty or so feet back from the red light. 

“Is that what you guys were fighting about?” 

Hope sank down into her seat. “Maybe.”

“I’m not gonna tell anyone.” 

“I know.”

“Are you?”

Hope took off a little gentler than she had stopped. “I was going to tell Landon that day. That day we …”

“Got the call?”

“Yes. I was going to find Rafael and give him a time limit to tell Landon himself before I did.”

“Did you … sleep with him?” Lizzie asked softly. She was trying not to pry, but her heart was beating faster and faster with every question. 

“No.” Hope shook her head. “We never did anything. There were just … these unspoken feelings.”

Lizzie nodded, absorbing all the information. Her lower lip started to shake. “So am I next?”

Hope glanced over suddenly. She wanted to say no. She wanted to assure Lizzie that she was going to be fine. But she couldn’t. Her stalker had just proven that no one was safe.

“I just … Ryan liked you and then he ended up in a coma, then Rafael liked you and he got killed, and I … I like you, so am I … am I next? I mean, is your stalker eliminating the competition or something?”

“Just don’t talk about it.” Hope shook her head quickly, turning into the hospital parking lot. “Don’t tell anyone. Don’t write it in your diary. Don’t bring it up. Ever.”

“Well, maybe I’m safe because you don’t return the feelings.”

“Lizzie, not a word to anyone. Not even our friends.” 

Lizzie blinked a few times. She hadn’t done anything except state a few facts they both already knew, so why had that lump in her throat suddenly tripled in size? Why were the bottoms of her eyes growing wet? Why was her nose burning?

“Do you understand me, Lizzie? Not to anyone.”

Lizzie nodded suddenly, realizing they were parked and Hope was waiting for an answer. “Yes, I understand.”

“I …” Hope debated saying anything at all. She had thought it, quite a few times, since that night, but this would be the first time saying it out loud. It felt like it made it more real somehow. Like, if she never said it at all, if nobody else in her life even considered the possibility, then there was no way it could be real. But if she did say it … suddenly it became possible. She knew it was stupid. But that didn’t stop the thoughts. “I’ve just been wondering lately … if maybe my stalker is closer to me than I think.”