" you said you're wrong
but you knew...
cause i had my doubts, oh! "

*

It had always been him who asked, I who gave.

The power dynamics were never equal: Brian always got what he wanted, while I, helpless, was left with no room for wants of my own. A month passed, and still it was maddeningly unequal. My needs were discarded, because his took priority as law. And I had always been one to stick to the rules set by a higher power.

He pushed me to move in with him.
I did it.

He pushed me into the sheets.
I fell for it.

He pushed into me.
I endured it over and over.

"Bebe, gimme a kiss, would you? Be a good boy."

And there it was again. He'd ask for something and I would be powerless to resist. We were out on a late-evening drive, though I was fatigued from working all day. I hadn't wanted anything but the warmth of his bed and his limbs around me, the hum of his throat against my nape, and yet he had insisted. My lips were covered in a pastry he had just fed me despite my insistence that I don't particularly like the flavor, and I hoped the texture layering my mouth wouldn't anger him. His arm was spread over my shoulder over the armrest of his car and its grip on my body was getting noticeably tenser by the second.

I finally gave in. With a sigh, I tiredly turned in his hold and pressed my lips, gently, to his. The comfortable pace didn't last long. Brian growled, the vibration scratching me roughly. He ushered in his tongue, then his teeth, and I groaned into the contact.

My lips were still bruised from the last time.

I somehow mustered the strength to defy both myself and him and gently pushed him away. "H-hurts, Brian-hyung. Think I'm bleeding..."

He growled a second time, then loomed towards me once more to lap at my bleeding lips. His teeth pushed in a bit more harshly this time, and tears built in the corners of my eyes from the stinging sensation of my split, delicate skin.

The habitual smell of iron rose to my nose more strongly and I held back a gag of discomfort.

"Mmgh!!" I pushed him away more forcefully this time and twisted out from under his arm. "I said no!!" My eyes snapped away from his stern — bordering on rage — gaze. I fumbled with my next words. "I'm — I need a break, hyung. We— we have to break up for now, okay?" And before he could confront me, I was out the car door.

Why, oh why didn't he go after me??