" this love for me is fading...
we were never
supposed to be together "

*

It was over before I knew what I was doing.

He'd called for me that day in June, when we'd already been seeing each other for a month and a bit. It was pouring and the sky streaked over and over with jagged peals of light. He turned to me as I approached him on the bridge he'd asked to meet at, hair sticking sloppily to his forehead, and his lip curled up in that lazy smile of his. "Hey, sweetheart."

My heart rang out with a pleasant, flustering beat. I did my best to swallow down my nerves and replied with a hushed, "Jae," followed by a sneeze. I pulled my hood down further. Why had Jae called me out in this weather??

"Come here," Jae had commanded at the time, and nowadays I wonder why I ever complied to his wishes in the first place. He never did anything for me in return. Whenever I asked him to come over to my place or to go on a date with me, he'd always be busy or would turn me down because 'he was tired...' Later I would come to realize that I was always on edge and felt unsettled when Jae was around anyway, so the jolt of betrayal that came when he turned me down would ease away with time. However, at the time we were going out, I simply couldn't control myself. My body and mind screamed for the stunning brunette like a corpse doused in gasoline.

I approached him, shivering, and allowed him to lock my shoulders in his steel grip. "I have to go back to LA for a few months, tomorrow," he passed over the tip of my ear. I shuddered when the warmth of his breath washed over me. "So let's go for a ride, mm?"

Without waiting for my answer, he led me to his car, fingers slid between mine in a hold of ice. The rain continued to fall.

He opened the back door for me, and I was pushed through it by his urgent palms. A gasp left my lips as my hip painfully hit the seat, and soon Jae was in with me, the door slamming behind him to shut out the harsh droplets falling from the sky. "Oh, what I'm gonna do with you, baby..." he growled out.

My body grew limp in fear. "W—wai—!" His mouth encased my Adam's apple and I shuddered beneath his slim fingers, which were now reaching around my shoulders to slide my light blue rain coat off. A yell of protest left my throat when he bit into my flesh, deep enough for me to later find signs of his teeth stamped along my neck. I managed to raise my arms and pushed him away before his mouth could trace any lower. "H-Hyung... I know we've done it before... but I don't want to right now... And you're leaving without warning—"

Jae released a sharp laugh, and the blood ran down my veins in icy rivlets. His crazed eyes caught mine, and I gulped in apprehension. "You think I'm asking for your permission?" he laughed out, before his tone became a more serious sneer. "You'll do exactly as I say."

Before he could grab onto my shoulders more tightly, I shoved him away. "N—no." He scowled, and the fear turned to adrenaline in my body. My arm extended to the doorknob and I firmly told Jae as I opened the door and made my escape through it, "I don't feel safe with you, Jaehyungie-hyung. It's over." I leaped out into the rain, the tears now streaming madly down my cheeks mixing with the drops hitting me from the clouds above. As an afterthought, I whispered, "I still love you, Jae-ah..." and my feet hit the pavement in a dash to escape both my conflicted feelings and the constricted sensation I felt when I was with Jae. The rain pelted against my sweater, soaking into my skin.

I still don't know why he never bothered to chase me.