Alicia

"Hi Alicia."

I gaped at him. The last time I saw him, he threw me out of his office and he had the audacity to approach me with a simple howdy doo? He had some nerve.

I closed my mouth since I left it hanging open like a fish with a hook caught in it. He appeared so calm but I could tell he was nervous. His hands were shoved into his pockets, his shoulders were slightly slumped. He must have learned that I wasn't the one to ransack his office. Otherwise why would he be here?

"Did you come to gloat or grovel?" His flinch gave me a small dose of satisfaction, which also told me that it was the latter.

"I've come to apologize."

"Same thing." I crossed my arms and pierced him with my stare. "I'm guessing you found the real thief then?"

Colin nodded.

I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell and scream. But all I could feel towards Colin was pity. He had erected such high walls around himself and now he was all alone. "Why didn't you trust me?"

"That's the thing Alicia, I did trust you."

I snorted. "You'll have to explain that one to me because from my end, I got thrown out of your office like a common criminal. I would hardly call that trust."

Colin's eyes squinted, as if trying to sort out a hard math problem. "I knew Alicia."

What was he talking about? "Knew what?"

"I knew all along that you were innocent."

I turned the words over and over in my head but they weren't making sense. "I don't understand."

Colin inhaled a deep breath. "Right from the start, I knew you didn't trash my office. I let you take the fall as a ruse. So that we could catch the real person responsible."

As his words sank in, pieces of my world sank with it. How could he? "Colin," I said, my voice hoarse, "You purposely let me believe that you hated me. That I was going to lose my company." It was like he had sucker punched me in the stomach.

Colin stepped away, his hands grabbing his hair as if life depended on it. "I saw an opportunity and I took it. My company was on the line Alicia. Everything I had worked so hard for."

"Don't you see Colin? I did the exact same thing back in high school. I saw an opportunity to save my reputation, that I had worked hard for."

Colin paced the room. "It's hardly the same thing. You weren't beaten to a bloody pulp."'

"Not physically," I countered. That made him stop. "Was it worth it?" I needed to make him see that no company was worth hurting those around you. Otherwise, you're left with no one. I learned that the hard way.

Colin stared at me but I had a feeling he was looking more through me. I faced the consequences of my actions but it took me years. Colin was going to learn that he was going to have to face his.

"We caught the person Alicia. Who was making all this trouble, doesn't that make it worth it? I tried to come to you the day after my office was trashed, at your apartment, but you had already left."

Ah, that was why Cameron had been asking about him. "It wasn't worth it for you when I tried to save myself by throwing you under the bus."

Colin scoffed. "It's hardly the same thing Alicia. We're talking about a multi-million dollar company versus a high school social life."

I jumped out of my chair. "Don't you get it Colin? To me it was a multi-million dollar company. We can justify all we want but in the end it doesn't matter if we don't have the people in our lives to share it with."'

Colin strode forward, till he was face to face with me over the desk. "I do want to share it Alicia. I want to share it with you."

+++

Colin

I was tired of tiptoeing around the real issue. Yes, I hurt Alicia and treated her horribly. But I think she was hurting more than just a friend who had been betrayed. I had hurt her heart. And that was what I wanted to rectify most of all.

I could tell I had thrown her for a loop. How badly I wanted to remove this desk that sat between us and press my lips to hers. She was absolutely breathtaking, especially when she was mad. Her eyes burned and her stance said that she wasn't going to let anyone walk all over her.

"You have extremely bad timing, you know that," Alicia said.

I couldn't help but smile at her exasperation. "No time like the present." Alicia did not return my smile.

"Colin, a relationship can't be built with all this baggage weighing you down. But most of all, I can't be with someone who doesn't share my faith. Surely you know that."

My smile fell. "Are you sure that isn't just an excuse? Why not just say it Alicia? You don't want to be seen with the nerd from high school."

Alicia shook her head. "You know that's not true. I would look forward to our coffee meetings every morning. I couldn't keep myself away from you."

I gave a dark laugh as I pushed away from the desk. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "So let me get this straight. You want to be with me but can't?"

Alicia slowly sat back down. "If I acted on my feelings alone, it would be disastrous."

"What else is there but feelings?" I said. "I like you and you like me. Why overcomplicate it?"

"You can't just sweep all the stuff you don't want to deal with under the rug and pretend it's not there."

"What stuff?"

Alicia scoffed. "Let's start with the fact that you just let the girl, who you supposedly like, take the fall to save your company."

I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep them still. "I apologized for that."

"And then there's your vendetta against God."

That made me stop. "How can I have a vendetta against something that I don't believe exists?"

Alicia got out of her chair again and came around the desk to stand before me. "Don't you see Colin? All the hurt and betrayal you've faced in your life, I think deep down, you blame God for it."

It was my turn to scoff. "That's absurd."

Alicia crossed her arms and gave me her infamous stare down. "Until you can forgive and you move on, you'll never be truly free Colin."

"Ah, the trite 'the truth will set you free' speech." My voice dripped in sarcasm. "I've probably heard that one from my mom only a dozen times."

"And yet you haven't listened."

"Because it's all meaningless. A bunch of words that were written thousands of years ago. It doesn't apply today."

"You know that's not true," Alicia said, pointing a finger at my chest. "And I'm living proof. I would still be the conceited, superficial girl I was in high school. God changed that."

I could see Alicia wasn't going to change her mind on where she stood. And there was no way I was going to change mine. "I care for you Alicia. I probably never stopped since the day I helped you finish your project. But I can't believe in a God that stands idly by while people suffer." I snorted as I realized something. "Do you know why I said yes when you asked me for help that day?"

"No but I always wondered."

"Because I thought I heard God speak to me saying to trust you." I took my glasses off, so my whole vision was just of Alicia. "You know the rest. Why would He tell me to help you if He knew what was going to happen?"

Taking her hand, Alicia gingerly placed it on my cheek. I pressed into it, savoring the softness and its warmth.

"What happened to you was awful. But Colin, God used it for good, like only He can. Our friendship never would have happened."

"Is that what we'll always be? Just friends?"

Alicia pulled her hand away, giving me my answer. "I chose to do a lot of things my own way and it only brought strife. As much as I want to be with you Colin, it's goes against God's will."

I had heard enough. Putting my glasses back on, I went to leave before I ended up saying something I regretted. I reached inside my vest pocket. It would probably be rejected, just like she rejected me, but I needed to give it all the same. I hand out an envelope. "Not that you would accept it, but this is payment for the month's work you did at CyberSecure. Amir brought me the numbers and they were good Alicia. Very good." When Alicia didn't move to take it, I set it on the desk. I guess we were done here.

"I do this for you Colin."

Her words made me pause on my way out. "I would've asked for you to come back to finish your contract. You did win our deal, but I didn't think it would be accepted." I had given up trying to understand her faith and reasons. As far as I was concerned, God only wanted control and I wasn't willing to give it up. "Goodbye Alicia."