Toronto, Ontario 2020

Alicia

The way the three pairs of eyes bore down on me, you would think I was facing an inquisition. As I smoothed down the papers on the cold walnut table, I tried not to smile that it was probably closer to truth than it appeared.

"Miss Hannigan," a deep voice timbered, "If you want the bank to extend your loan then we're going to need tangible evidence that you have the ability to repay it."

Didn't I know it. The crisp white pages that were filled with lines of numbers told a story that was not in my favor. I needed to somehow spin it so it was. I pasted on my most confident smile. "Hope Digital has maintained a steady cash flow since its inception. Surely that should be evidence enough to extend the loan a little longer."

A lady to the left of the deep voice man puckered her lips like she had just swallowed a lemon drop. "I would hardly call a trickle, steady. You've fallen behind on payments already."

The paper crumbled slightly in my fist. Unfortunately, the sour-faced lady wasn't wrong. As a startup marketing firm, most of my clients had come from small businesses like deli shops and bakeries. Hardly high income clientele.

I may have been a little hasty in starting my own business when I was only a few years out of university. But it was so hard working under other marketing directors who gave me no license to use my creativity or innovative ideas to help a client.

With Hope Digital, it was more than just a paycheck. I wanted businesses to reach their fullest potential. I wanted to give them hope. Hope that marketing could propel their business to new levels. So many times I've met with small businesses who were struggling and even though their finances were tight, I could sometimes convince them to give me a chance to make their product or service more visible. The joy I received from watching a business thrive was priceless. I always tell my clients, you have a great business, I just make sure people know it exists.

The bank however, was not going to care about my mission statement or what I was trying to accomplish for my clients. They wanted concrete results. I needed to figure out how to give them what I didn't have. And fast.

I brought my hands together on the table. I had gotten myself out of many difficult situations over the years, I could get myself out of this one.

I licked my lips and framed my next words carefully. "My business is still gaining exposure and even though my cash flow may only be a 'trickle' as you put it, it's creating building blocks for a strong foundation. So larger clients will be confident in my abilities. The extension will allow me to reach those clients."

The thin man on the right with the bushiest mustache I had ever seen takes his turn to pipe in. "You've had two years, Miss Hannigan. As a marketing firm, shouldn't that be more than enough time to gain exposure?"

I flinched. How was I supposed to help other companies market their services when I couldn't even market my own? I thought by starting Hope Digital in the heart of Toronto, the city would be ripe with work, people vying for my skills in digital marketing. Instead I found fierce competition and not many willing to pay for benefits they couldn't substantiate.

The three bank managers began whispering amongst one another and I could feel my stomach drop at what they must be thinking.

Sour-faced lady gave a slight shake of her head and I knew it was all over for me.

"I'm sorry Miss Hannigan," the man in the middle said. "From what we can see an extension of the loan is not going to increase our chances of repayment. We have no choice but to-"

He was interrupted by a melodic ringing. My eyes widened when I realized it was coming from my purse. Apologizing, I quickly reached into my bag to silence it before I looked even more unprofessional. As if it mattered. Just as I was about to reject the call, the name KINESMAN glared up at me from the screen.

My breath hitched and I accepted the call. "Excuse me," I said leaving the room and three very bewildered faces.

"Hello, this is Alicia Hannigan from Hope Digital."

"Alicia, hi, this is Patrick Kinesman from Tech Security."

I almost sagged against the wall. This could be the big break I've been waiting for.

"Hi Mr. Kinesman, thanks for returning my call."

"Not at all," he replied, his tone smooth. "You had me very intrigued about your services and I was wondering if you could come in next week to talk about some consulting work for Tech Security."

I did a tiny jump in excitement. "Next week will be fine," making sure my voice didn't sound too eager. "Would first thing next Friday work for you?" That gave me exactly one week to prepare material to present.

"Friday is swell. I'll see you at 9am."

"Sounds good. Thank you Mr. Kinesman." After I hung up, the weight of what I just did came barreling down. I had just promised a meeting to someone next week when I may not even have a company in the next few minutes. The question now was if I could convince the people in the room behind me to give me one more chance.

I walked back into the room that held the fate of Hope Digital. I sent up a quick prayer and hoped it was enough. "Sorry about that," taking back my seat like nothing was amiss. "That was a potential client called Tech Security. They're a large cyber security company and they want me to come in to discuss some consulting work." I made sure to emphasize the word large.

"Potential?" The Bushy mustache man said with a frown.

"It's a very promising lead and I'm confident to have a signed contract in one week's time." The frowns only grew deeper.

"It's not enough Miss Hannigan. We need a signed contract now."

I pressed my lips together. I was so close to catching the big break I've been waiting for. I refused to let it pass.

"Here's what I'll do." I felt like I'd just stepped into an episode of Dragon's Den, trying to make a deal. Well, at least the dragon part was accurate. "You grant me the three month extension on the condition that I land this client. I'll even fax over the signed contract with my fees to prove that it will catch me up on my payments." There was some concrete evidence for them.

As more whispers were exchanged, I prayed fervently for a favorable outcome. Finally, the middle man gave a nod. "We accept your terms Miss Hannigan."

I smiled. It appeared Hope Digital would live to fight another day.

+++

I wasted no time getting back to my office to start preparing for the most important meeting of my career. I spent the rest of my Friday at the office and now it was Saturday into the late evening and I had been staring so long at the numbers on my screen that my eyes went blurry. I sat back from my desk, rubbing my face with both hands as I tried to erase the tiredness but unable to erase the sight of red on my spreadsheet. Even with the income from a new client, it was still going to be tight repaying the loan. I knew that opening my own marketing firm would be challenging. I expected the late nights, even the net losses in my first year. But now that I was into my second year, I did not expect to still be barely making ends meet. Hopefully though, that was about to change.

I turned off my computer, knowing that I needed to call it a night. If I didn't want to be caught dozing during Pastor Kevin's sermon, I better get some shut eye.

I gathered up my things for the walk home. One of the great things about living in Toronto was the close proximity to about everything. I rented a small space in a commercial building that consisted of an office, a bathroom and a small reception area. It wasn't glamorous by far, but it was all I needed to run Hope Digital.

As I locked the door behind me and walked down the hallway, my cellphone in my purse began to play a melodic piano tune. Who would be calling at such a late hour? As I glanced at the caller id, I laughed before answering.

"No Cameron, I'm not dead."

"Well you're very soon going to be!" A voice shrieked on the other side. "Where have you been? I expected you home hours ago. I was sure you had been kidnapped."

Cameron was my roommate and got a tad paranoid when things stepped out of her realm of control. "You haven't been watching those crime shows again have you?" I asked in a mock serious tone.

"Not the point," she evaded, "The point is, why aren't you home? I know you're not clubbing or on a date, so what's the hold up?"

"Could you make my social life sound any more pathetic?"

"I call it as I see it."

Ouch. I huffed, knowing it wasn't worth arguing over. "I had to work late tonight. I have a presentation on Friday that could potentially land me a big client."

"Work, I should have known," Cameron said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Alright, so tell me, who's the big hot shot? A car dealership or something?"

"Hardly," I said, "It's for a tech security company called...Tech Security."

Her laugh erupted so loud over the phone that I had to move the phone away from my ear.

"Are you serious? Sounds like you have your work cut out for you."

"Tell me about it, but it's still a great opportunity. Normally a company of this size wouldn't contract out a small firm like mine. This could really elevate the status of Hope Digital." Not to mention getting me out of the red.

"Well although I'm happy for you, I still don't think it's worth walking home at night when the streets are quiet and no one can hear you scream."

By this point I had made it outside into the warm summer night. At Cameron's words I looked around at the bustling city around me. Cars and taxi cabs filled the streets and there were still quite a few pedestrians walking about. "We're in the heart of downtown Toronto Cameron," I reminded her. "The city doesn't go to sleep till at least past midnight."

"Whatever, just get home."

I chuckled at her concern. "I'll see you in ten." I ended the call and shook my head. How Cameron ever ended up in the city I'll never know. It was probably more circumstantial as Cameron's parents own the condo we're currently renting, which is how we can even afford it in the first place. Now I'll admit, even with the cheap rent, I had been slightly hesitant to accept when Cameron offered to room with her. Cameron Reese was not my typical idea of a roommate. She was loud and a clean freak while I was more quiet and slightly untidy. But the biggest issue was that Cameron was not a Christian.

Now don't get me wrong, I had no qualms about being friends with people who didn't share my faith. If anything, I believe God calls us to interact with those people even more so. But this was my personal space we were talking about. I was worried that she would bring guys back that she had picked up at the club, which according to our college years together was a real possibility. And talk about awkward, waking up in the morning in my Mickey Mouse pajamas and seeing some random guy sitting in our kitchen drinking coffee. No thank you.

But I couldn't ignore that the opportunity could have been provided by the Lord. I was getting ready to start up Hope Digital and let's face it, starting your own company from scratch is not cheap. I learned that the hard way. So naturally I prayed about it and felt the nudge to accept Cameron's offer. After I laid some ground rules about my expectations as her roommate, she accepted without question and I took that as a sign that this was where I was meant to be.

Reaching our apartment building, I walked through a wide open foyer, and headed over to the elevators. It made me wonder since moving to Toronto how much of my life is now spent riding between floors. I realized that I've probably covered more distance vertically than horizontally.

The highrise was nice if a bit dated. I walked down a long hallway that was carpeted with a floral hotel-style carpet, and tacky wallpaper. Stopping at number 819, I wiggled my key in the stubborn lock to get the deadbolt to turn.

One of the first things anyone would notice when entering our apartment, is the amount of plants that cover almost every nook and cranny. Cameron was a shopaholic when it came to plants of any kind. It was virtually impossible for her to walk by a garden center without purchasing something. I jokingly told her she needed to join an AA group or rather a PA group, Planters Anonymous. She said she would just buy another plant to congratulate herself on not buying a plant.

Cameron was in her usual spot on the couch, curled up in her favorite throw blanket while watching, unsurprisingly, some sort of crime show. Her blonde hair was plaited into two short french braids, which was her Saturday signature look.

"See?" I said as I set my stuff down on the kitchen island, "Home alive and well."

Cameron snorted. "This time."

"You gotta stop watching the crime shows Cam. They're doing more harm than good. At this rate you'll end up a hermit who never leaves their home."

"I've made my bed," she deadpanned.

"It's your funeral," I responded and headed over into the kitchen to turn on the kettle for my customary cup of tea before bed. I also rummaged through the cupboards looking for a forbidden late-night snack. "Just curious," I asked while I poured the water into my cat-themed mug. "How did you know I wasn't clubbing or out on a date? I mean, I guess the clubbing one is obvious, but I could have been on a date."

Cameron turned around and looked at me over the back of the couch. "I saw you leave in those pink sweatpants. Definitely not date material. Plus, your pinky finger isn't chewed down to a nub which tells me you haven't been anxious lately. You would definitely be anxious about a date."

I knew she was right. I specifically wore these pants for the pure comfort factor. As for the pinky finger, it was a bad habit I picked up in college. At least my nine other fingers were safe but it bothered me to no end that I couldn't kick it. Still, she didn't have to be so smug about it.

My tea steeping, I joined Cameron in the living room. I opted for the worn armchair that was not facing the tv. The show was a little too eerie for my tastes. "By the way," I began.

"No," she answered, without even taking her eyes off the screen.

"You don't even know what I was about to say!"

Cameron looked my way again and gave me the Are you for real? look. "It's Saturday night, you're going to ask me if I want to join you for church tomorrow. I thought I would save you the trouble."

Double ouch. I've barely been in the apartment for half an hour and Cameron had already figured out where I hadn't been and what I was going to say. Either I was extremely predictable or Cameron was just really perceptive. I went with the latter for pride's sake.

"I think you would really enjoy it if you just gave it a chance," I pushed. "A lot of my friends have been really wanting a chance to meet you."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "You mean so they can gawk at the promiscuous girl with arm tats." To accentuate her point, she pulled up her sleeves to reveal vine tattoos that looked like they were crawling along her arms.

"I've told you, I don't believe it's a sin to have tattoos. It's a personal choice that I've made not to get them."

"Whatever," she said, turning back to her show. "I think I'll pick having the apartment to myself over having to go out and dress like some seventy year old grandma."

I sighed before rising from my chair, knowing it was pointless to argue. The truth was, until Cameron got over the stereotypes she had imposed on church, she'll never be interested in going. If only she knew how ten years ago, I wasn't so different from her. That I too had absolutely no interest in going to church. That was until someone unexpectedly bumped into me, starting a ripple effect of events that would change the trajectory of my whole life.