Lydia's POV:

"So that guy is my dad?" Hope asks me, sounding bored. I can almost feel my heart breaking. He's not just that guy, Dallas Winston was my first love.

"Yeah, that was your dad," I reply. She closes her eyes, trying to take it in.

"Do you have any pictures of him?" She asks after a minute. I nod and stand up. There's a small bookcase on the other side of the room, one that I never look at. On the bottom shelf, there is a scrapbook. Anyone looking at it would think it's just some old photo album, but it wasn't. This scrapbook was different.

Ponyboy and I put it together a few weeks after Dally and Johnny died. There were mostly pictures of us and his brothers, but there were a few of the gang. None of Dallas alone.

I flipped to the last page of this scrapbook, to find a picture of the whole gang. All of them. (In the media box thing) Pony, Soda, Darry, Steve, Two-Bit, Johnny, and Dallas. Above the picture was my curly handwriting: "To Dally and Johnny" and then below it "You will be forever missed. we love you." I stare at it for a moment, tears blurring my eyes. I never realized how much I missed them until now. I blink them away quickly, not wanting Hope to see me like this. Then I walk over to her.

"So, there he is," I say, pointing. "The infamous Dallas Winston...." My voice trails off. Hope is silent for a minute, staring intently at the book, like he's just going to come out of it and talk to her. Then, without a word, she puts her finger on the paper and traces his face. I look from her to the picture.

"You have his eyes," I whisper, and I see tears flooding her eyes again.

"Why couldn't I have ever met him, mom? That guy, that random dead man that I've never even heard of until now.... He's my father. One of the people that created me. Don't I deserve to meet him?" She demands. I put an arm around her. My little girl, my baby. Dally's baby.

"I'm sorry, Hope. I am so so sorry, baby. It wasn't my choice, though, what he did. I never wanted him to die, though. None of us did. I never wanted to lose him for anything, I had a fantasy that I would marry him for god sakes! None of us ever even expected it to happen. He was so young," I whisper. Except we did expect it. We all did. Dallas wanted to die. And he never really needed anyone other that Johnny. And after he died, we knew Dal wouldn't last much longer.... As much as it hurt.

As much as it hurt, my little Hope was all I had left of Dallas. And that's what I was most afraid of. Dally was a JD, a hood, a criminal. What if my perfect daughter grew up to be one too?

"So tell me about him, my father," Hope says. I don't know to respond. And neither does Ponyboy as he walks in the house, home from work, to find that his daughter found her biological father.

"L-Lydia, I thought we agreed not to tell Hope about Dallas until she was older," He says, obviously upset. I don't know how to respond, and Hope is frozen, looking from me to Ponyboy, the anger on her face becoming obvious. Pony comes and sits next to me on the couch, his eyes wide open, unblinkingly.

"I... I know, honey, but she asked. I had to tell her the truth, right?" And suddenly, Ponyboy wasn't himself. He still wasn't blinking, he was breathing heavily, and he looked more pale than I'd ever seen him.

"Pony? Ponyboy? Is everything ok?" I ask, trying to stay calm. He doesn't respond. Then I remember something a therapist said to me in a session we had together after the accident.

"He has PTSD. He saw Johnny and Dally's deaths, and he's going to clearly remember them his whole life."

They said he might get flashbacks sometimes, but he hasn't had one in years. I could tell this was one, a bad one.

Momentarily, I had no idea what to do. I was never good with this type of situation. I put my arm around him and started pushing his hair out of his face. As he's grown up, he's stopped greasing it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have bangs covering his entire face and head.

"M-mom, is he ok?" Hope asks. I honestly don't know how to respond. Usually he's fine after these, but who knows what flashbacks like that can do. After a moment, I feel the tenseness leave his body.

"I'm fine, Hope," He says after a minute, letting out a breath.

"Good. Now tell me, why didn't you want to tell me about Dallas?" She asks him. I want to respomd, tell her what a tough situation it is, but Pony opens his mouth before I even get a chance.

"Because you're my daughter, Hope. No matter who made you, I was the one that raised you your whole life." He says. That's when I don't know how to respond.

A/N: It's been like 3 or 4 months since I last updated and I'm not even sure who's still reading, but here is chapter 4! Let me know what you thought and if you found my Sabrina Carpenter reference! ☺️