In the night, a painful tug in my gut stirred me from sleep.

The call of the blood, I thought. Gods, no.

I sat up, pressing my hands to my stomach, trying to stay in control. The beast within howled, straining to be free. I groaned and curled into a tight ball.

Stay in control, Ylva. Stay in control.

Once again, the beast roared, and I jumped out of bed. I couldn't stop it. It was coming, whether I was ready or not. I had to get out of Jorrvaskr. I had to get out of the walls.

Groaning, I left Jorrvaskr, falling to my knees in the training yard. I hunched forward and held my abdomen. It wouldn't be long. The urge to hunt was too strong.

"I'm... sorry," I choked, my teeth changing into fangs as I spoke. "Vilkas, I'm sorry—"

My words were lost as my chest was wracked with pain. I held back my screams as my bones stretched and morphed. My arms and legs grew in length, sprouting thick and dark hair to cover my now-gray skin. I tossed my head back as my face elongated, and I roared at the moons.

Curse you, Hircine! Curse you!

I used my long and powerful arms to pull myself over the wall leading out of the city. I dropped to the ground on the other side, got down on all fours, and took off across the plains. With my enhanced sight, I spied a few deer grazing in the distance. I howled at them, causing them to run away in fear. They panicked and ran off in three different directions. With a satisfied growl, I gave chase. I stayed close to the slowest one, and soon overtook it. I clawed at his neck, and it made a gurgling noise as my talons found their mark. It fell to the ground, striking the dust with a heavy thump.

When it lay still, I fed, tearing through the carcass with a hungry fury. The scent of blood filled the air, and the sticky, warm liquid stuck to my snout and paws. When I finished feeding, I licked my chops and howled with triumph.

"By the gods..." said a voice behind me.

I spun around, growling, and spotted a guard standing there. His helmet hid his face, but I could smell his fear. He started to back away, hand resting on his sword's hilt.

I charged him, knocking him to the ground with my massive shoulder. He squirmed as I pinned him to the ground. I bent low and snarled in his face. The stench of his fear became even stronger.

"By the Divines, please!" he begged. "Let me go!"

I growled, lifting one paw up, talons ready. This man would make excellent prey.

Everything went black before I brought my paw down.

-------

I woke up feeling cold. My wet hair stuck to my face and neck, and frigid wind blew past my body.

I opened my eyes and moaned. The sun was just rising, its beams hitting me square in the face. I sat huddled inside a rocky alcove. It blocked the wind to my back and one side, but it didn't do anything for my front. I had my legs pulled tight to my chest, hiding my bare body from the elements.

How had I gotten here in the first place? The last thing I remembered before blacking out was—

Oh, gods, no.

I killed a man. I had to have killed him. No way Hircine would've let me transform before I finished it. I killed an innocent guard, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He wasn't the first man I've killed. He wouldn't be the last. But he didn't deserve it.

He probably had a family. Children. People who'll miss him. And I killed him. I took him away. All because of this wretched curse.

"Ylva!" a voice called. It sounded close. It sounded like Vilkas. "Ylva, where are you?!"

"Vilkas?" I called back.

"Yes! Where are you?"

"Close. Just keep following my voice, but don't get too close. I'm... um... indecent."

"I thought as much when I found your clothes in the training yard. Here." My clothes landed in front of me.

I grabbed them and dressed quickly. Then I stood and walked away from my hiding place. Vilkas was standing there, waiting for me with a pair of boots in his hands.

"You might need these," he said, looking down at my bare feet.

I took them from him and put them on. "Thanks."

He nodded, then pulled me into his arms. "Are you all right? We heard howling last night."

"I couldn't fight it anymore, Vilkas." I returned his embrace. "The hunt called me. It was too strong. I had to hunt last night."

"We found a trail of blood leading from a deer carcass. Your doing?"

I nodded. "Did you find a guard?"

"I was just about to ask you about that."

A sob broke free from my throat. "Gods, no." My entire body trembled, but not from the cold. "No, no, no, no. I didn't mean to. I never wanted to."

Vilkas shushed me. "It's not your fault, Ylva. It's Hircine's."

"We need to leave for Ysgramor's tomb today. I can't let that happen again. This beast inside of me needs to die. I can't take it anymore." I sobbed against his chest, tears rolling down my cold cheeks.

"If that's what you want to do, I will follow. I feel that I need to cure myself, too. The urge to hunt last night was strong. I'm afraid it'll only get stronger the longer I resist."

"Then we go together." I blinked, stopping the flow of tears. My tremors and sobs ended soon after. "Have you ever killed someone that way, Vilkas?"

"Yes. The beast within doesn't care about what blood you spill. It just wants blood. It's all right, Ylva. No one will know it was you."

"I'll know. The gods will know. You'll know. That's worse than the whole province knowing."

"Hey, I forgive you. You weren't in control. The Ylva I know would never kill an innocent man. And if I know it, the gods know it, too. They'll forgive you."

"But how can I ever forgive myself?"

"One day at a time, Ylva."