The day of Madison’s first “official” FEC meeting had arrived and she had nothing to bring—although, truthfully, she hadn’t tried that hard. The mere thought of stealing from someone broke her out in cold sweat. She was beginning to realize that putting lip service to something was easy, but physically doing the act? Well, that something else entirely.

Maybe she could create an excuse as to why she didn’t have anything and they would let her off. She pictured Wyatt and Kelly’s face and rejected the idea. They would have no problem rescinding her membership. In fact, she had a pretty good idea Wyatt would love the chance to kick her out. 

Sighing, she threw her hands behind her head and sunk deeper into the mattress. The early morning sun shined bright. Rays filtered through her window, highlighting her room. The emptiness of the walls mocked her. She didn’t have one picture, one poster, not even a small shelf nailed to the wall. How ironic that she was contemplating stealing something precious, something that held a memory, something that adorned someone’s wall, just so she could fill her own wall up.

She felt selfish and it wasn’t a pleasant emotion. It crawled down her spine leaving a trail of doubt and self-loathing. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing it into a cage and locking the door. She wanted to stay in the club—no, she needed to stay in the club. It was the first time since moving here that she started to feel some semblance of control over her life. She wasn’t weak. She wasn’t powerless. Her and her alone, decided what she was going to do.

Feeling more assured she ran through a list of people she could steal from. It wasn’t a long list, as she didn’t get invited over to people’s houses often. In fact, the depressing truth was that she didn’t go anywhere except her house, the library and school.

Wait.

Madison bolted upright. Could the answer really be that simple? She ran through all the FEC rules in her head.

Yes. Yes, it could.

Excited, Madison threw back the covers and jumped in the shower. She threw on a pair of jeans and a new top she bought with Avery. She ran a brush through her curls, detangling the knots, and then bounced downstairs.

“Someone’s happy today,” her dad commented from the kitchen sink. He rinsed a plate and put it in the dishwasher. “You’re practically skipping.”

“It’s a glorious morning,” she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek.

“I’d say so. What’s put you in such a good mood?” His round eyes narrowed till they were slits. “Its not a boy is it?”

“And if it is?”

“Let me polish my gun.”

“You don’t own a gun.”

“I’ll polish your mother’s.”

“No one touches my gun,” her mom stated, coming up behind her.

Madison looked over her shoulder and frowned. “Why are you still in your pajamas?”

“I have the rest of the week off.” Her mother moved about the kitchen, her actions precise and controlled. “I thought I’d unpack all the boxes in the garage.”

Willingly taking time off was virtually unheard of for her mother. More than likely she’d been working too much overtime and was forced to by her captain. But of course her mother wouldn’t say that because then she would have to admit she’d been spending too much time at the station.

“Is that a new shirt?” her mother asked. She rested her hip against the counter and crossed her feet. “I haven’t seen it before.”

“I got it from that boutique, you know, the one you said you’d take me too.”

“Madison,” her mother sighed. “I told you I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to forget about our plans. I had a break in the—”

“Yah, yah,” Madison interrupted. She gave her a brittle smile. “I know. You had a break in the case and couldn’t make it. Haven’t heard that before.”

“We can go shopping today,” she suggested. “My whole day is free. I have nothing else to do.”

Her comment hurt, the words a sharp arrow piercing her heart. “I have plans, but good to know where I rank in your life. One step below your job and one step above boredom.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Intent is meaningless without action, Mom. You taught me that.”

She unfurled her body and stood upright. “I also taught you to respect your elders.”

Madison positioned her arms so they lay across her stomach—a shield to combat the friction in the air. “I can’t give you something that I don’t feel you earned.”

“I’m your mother,” she reminded in a sharp tone. “I gave birth to you. That alone should earn a lifetime of respect.”

Deep-seated resentment boiled to the surface. “And I’m your daughter, your flesh and blood, but that hasn’t stopped you from hurting me.”

Her mother blinked. The harsh expression on her face softened. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“And yet you keep doing it,” she replied angrily.

Lines creased her mother’s forehead as she chewed her lower lip. Her thumb twisted the gold wedding band that surrounded her ring finger. “I know we haven’t had the best track record, but I’m trying to fix that. That’s partly what this move was about. I want us to have a better relationship. In a couple years you’ll be gone—off to college—and I don’t want you to leave this house and never return.”

Her mother’s eyes turned pleading as she looked up. “I’m trying, Madison. I’m trying. Can’t you meet me halfway here?”

“What did you think that shopping trip was about?” Madison exploded, furious her mother would even ask her that. “I met you halfway!” She pounded her fist against her chest. “I said yes! And what did you do? You didn’t show. You left. Again.”

The anger so raw, so consuming, her voice trembled. “So, don’t make this my fault. I extended my hand, Mom, you’re the one who slapped it away.”

Fighting back the tears, Madison stormed out of the house. She jammed the car keys in the ignition and quickly backed out of the driveway before her parents could stop her. Once she got on the road, she kept driving and driving. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to get away.

Finally, the road stopped in front of the ocean. Parking along the roadside, she got out and walked the beach. The salty air mixed with a few teardrops that escaped her steely control. She picked a sand dune nearby and sat at the top of it.

Watching the waves swell, crest and crash was cathartic. She imagined her own feelings doing the same. Building and building till it reached an impossible height, then crashing back down as it all spilled out. Was she bound to the repeat the process over and over again as well? She hoped not. Her emotions were already feeling bruised after that particular crash this morning.

The sound of her phone ringing broke into her thoughts. She pulled it out of her pocket and noticed the time. She winced, realizing how late in the day it was. She already missed three classes. Her mother would be in a tizzy if she heard about it.

“Avery?” she said into the device.

“Hey! Are you okay? I waited by your locker this morning, but you never showed up,” she said softly.

“It’s been a rough morning.”

“Are you sick? Do you want me to bring you my notes after school?”

“I’m fine. Just overslept and didn’t hear my alarm,” she lied.

“Okay. Well, don’t worry about chemistry. We have a substitute teacher and she smells like mothballs.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“It’s the worst. And she has this terrible habit of spitting every time she talks. Poor Wyatt is sitting up front in the splash zone. I saw him duck a couple times to avoid getting hit.”

Madison chuckled. “How are you calling me right now? Shouldn’t you be there?”

“I’m in the bathroom. I couldn’t take the stink anymore. It was giving me a headache.”

“That awful, huh? You should pretend you have really bad cramps and lay down in the nurses office till next class.”

“Brilliant! I am going to do it right now.” She paused, a muffled sound over the phone. Then, she whispered, “All right, I better go. I hear someone coming. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

Warmth spread through her. “I’m good. Thanks though.”

“Oh! And don’t forget to bring your stuff for the study group after school.”

She flinched, remembering she still had to steal something. “Will do. Bye Avery.”

She returned the phone to her pocket and stood up, dusting the sand off her jeans. Looking at the ocean again, she realized she missed one important element in her musings. As the waves crested and crashed down, the sand was always there to cushion the blow. Maybe Avery and the rest of them was her sand. Maybe they would be there to help her when she fell.

****

When Madison arrived at school the bell for fifth period rang out. She parked on the street and hopped the fence to avoid getting a tardy slip from the man guarding the front gate. She sprinted across the football field and snuck past the gym where the PE teacher was yelling out roll call.

In all honesty, she probably would have skipped coming all together if it hadn’t been for the club meeting today. She knew what she wanted to take and it came from one of the classrooms. Briskly walking down the hallway, she turned right and then took another left till she came upon the track coach’s empty classroom.

She peeked her head in and when she saw it empty, slipped inside. Her heart pounded as she drew closer to the cross-country trophy case. Five wooden shelves housed medals, trophies, plaques and pictures from ten years ago to now. She saw Carson’s smiling face in several of them.

Her hands started to sweat as she slid the glass door open. She looked over her shoulder to ensure no one was coming. When she was positive the coast was clear, she dropped to both knees and examined the bottom shelf. Way in the back was a gold medal with a red ribbon around it. Embossed in the middle was a running shoe with wings attached to the heel. Careful not to touch anything else, she grabbed the edge of the medal disk between two fingers and pulled it out.

Quickly, she stuffed it in her backpack and took out the silver FEC marker. She dropped it into one of the trophies that was shaped like a winner’s cup. No one would notice it in there unless they really searched for it. Satisfied, she scrambled out the door and breathed a sigh of relief. It may not seem much to the others, but to her, this was a big deal.